im scared
im so scared of everything now, every little thing I do, I question,
wonder if its the right way, the right pace, the right day
im scared so naturally, so normally it's become more of anxiety, loss in identity
Confidence with specks of social anxiety and immorality
All from borrowing words, ideas, whole sentences from "not me"
Is this who I've always been?
Before - from wikipedia, random google sites, now claude, chatgpt - who am I?
Would you make something of your own, with your own backbone, entire framework, from your own mind?
Doubts erased, active mind, loud opinions, questions arised
Would you finally be yourself?
Would the world wonder what even has changed, except you, who's just begun her life?
Would who questions you only be ever you?
Ever you who's haunted by your glorious past, glorious mind and glorious eyes?
That drive! Man, your drive! Where is it? Can you keep moving forward, just one step -
Everyday. oh god who i dont even believe,
Can I still be worthy of myself? Of my past and my future?
Imposter syndrome, at its peak, no wonder, you squeak, everytime you remind yourself to speak
"You are true," "You are kind,"
hopefully to yourself.
So just one step at a time.
Speak whats on your mind.
Deeply realize what you WANT.
Really think of who you are.
Who you really are.
Xoxo, Chika
