If you're ever in need of someone to:
Design any type graphics
Run a social media
Write
Copyedit
I have low prices (just trying make extra money), and will not use AI in the process at all. Dm for inquires!
taylor price

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roma★
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Not today Justin
Mike Driver
The Bowery Presents

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club

Origami Around
Fai_Ryy
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie
RMH

titsay
we're not kids anymore.
KIROKAZE

#extradirty

Discoholic 🪩
Cosimo Galluzzi

izzy's playlists!
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@xylem-sap
If you're ever in need of someone to:
Design any type graphics
Run a social media
Write
Copyedit
I have low prices (just trying make extra money), and will not use AI in the process at all. Dm for inquires!
Get real.
tumblr glitched while loading this, so instead of "dude get real" being the punchline, it was like this cat put on glasses for the first time and their friend was just. a legit dog. and not like them at all.
This is killing me
wait, you're telling me some "boys" didn't grow up feeling like a lesbian trapped in the wrong body? i thought that was normal!
get peer reviewed, because fucking. yeah.
[Image ID: Tumblr tags from k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl reading: hearing boys my age talk about "being into lesbians" like omg yea so that is normal thank god, wtf do you mean you just think it's hot?????? you don't have a deep pain inside you that you'll never be a girl loving a girl???? oh fuck, <-me throughtout my teens /End ID]
If you're fasting for Tisha B'Av, I wish you an easy and painless fast 💙
Wishing all of jumblr a safe and easy fast! Whether you’re fasting or not, i hope that you feel well and it goes smoothly <33
and to everyone else, happy summer holidays!
in the same vein of "You have to love Jews more than you hate Nazis" to my fellow Yids: we have to love being Jewish more than we hate antisemites.
I know we all know this, but it helps to hear sometimes.
I love being a Jew. I love that I look forward to Shabbat services. I love that I'm looking forward to the High Holidays, I love that I've been tapped to do the aliyah for the Rosh Hashanah Torah chanting, I love that I successfully wrote my own name in Hebrew, at 32 years old, for the first time this past week, I love learning and growing and connecting and continuously rolling up my sleeves to enthusiastically wrestle with my identity with love and compassion and excitement.
I love being a Jew and I hope you do too.
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.
If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.
medieval lit is really fun. there will be a footnote that is like “nobody knows what the author meant there and scholars have been debating it for centuries” 
translator’s note: we have no clue bro
translator’s note: we’re sure this was hilarious in 12th century Somerset
translator’s note: again, we’re sure the scribe was the funniest guy in Plantagenet England and was getting all the tavern wenches but we can’t for the life of us figure out what he was talking about
Was drunk and bored and getting annoyed at the ridiculous coverage of the US election so I decided to fix the place.
I'm from Australia where we only have 7 states, as such I have the (objectively correct) opinion that 50 is too many states, so I decided to cut it down to 10.
A few notes on my improved US map:
•Despite Illinois making the cut, Chicago is now in Michigan, due to the state getting the entire bank of its namesake.
•Boston is also in Michigan due to special exception.
•New York is now the capital of Pensylvania
•Yes that's how you spell Pensylvania
•The border of California is just roughly the Rockies, no need to overthink it.
•Making Florida bigger actually dilutes it's power, but Texas must be abolished
•Colorado should still be a rectangle, that's my mistake, I just couldn't be bothered fixing it.
•Alaska has been returned to Canada with a hand written apology
•All the random ass islands that the US forgot to pretend they didn't colonise have gained independence
Please let me know if there are any more improvements you can think of.
Edit: As a number of you have mentioned, Alaska never belonged to Canada, and giving it to them would be incredibly wrong when the native people have been trying to gain independence all this time.
Luckily, the apology note got lost in the mail in all the turmoil, so Canada never realised they're meant to have Alaska now. The Alaskans just start quietly self-governing and hoping the US and Canada don't notice, then after a few years they declare independence.
OP where do you think Boston is located.
it's an unincorporated territory
person (non-practicing)
in grade 12 we were reading romeo and juliet and we were at the romantic-ass balcony scene and this hot girl in the class volunteered to read juliet’s parts and i put up my hand to volunteer for another part and the teacher goes ‘oh do you want to be the nurse, amanda?’ and i was like ‘no i wanna be romeo’ and the hot girl swiveled around in her seat to give me a Look™
she and i later ended up making out at a bunch of parties in university lmfao
in retrospect this moment was absolutely pivotal to my butch awakening but it was also just a lesbian power move
I too got a girlfriend over this play. In grade 10, I was reading the balcony scene to study with two other people (one guy and one beautiful girl) and I insisted point blank I had to read as romeo, because he had the most lines and I’m a dramatic little shit.
So the other two in my group are used to my antics by now. We’re all friends, so the pair of them decide that the one guy in our group gets to be the nurse. Now, my Juliet and I have been friends for a couple months by this point, so I decide to be a little more dramatic.
We put Juliet on a spinny chair, and pump it up as tall as it goes, and my baby, closeted lesbian ass crouches on the floor, ready to be as melodramatic as possible. Like, I’m about to do a rendition that makes William himself walk into the class and tell me to take it back a notch or twelve.
And then I look up.
And holy shit.
There she is, Juliet, haloed in the worst fluorescent light known to mortals across the globe. Light just streaming down around her, that weird off-green colour that it always is. And she’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. My little gay soul is barely holding on as the words barely leave my lips, breathlessly. “But soft… what light from yonder window breaks?”
And Juliet was the sun. Romeo was not exaggerating that line at all.
Juliet and I have also been together for more than 4 years now. She’s every bit as spectacular as she was when I was a lovestruck teenage Romeo, kneeling on the yellowed linoleum floor of second block english.
My new pet peeve is people completely misunderstanding the term Male Gaze and making the term female gaze based entirely on that misunderstanding
the white boy of the month pushing his hair back and reading poetry for the camera is not the equivalent of the dehumanization of women in visual media by way of presenting them primarily as vessels for sexual gratification
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. 🎉.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic
Oh my goodness you're my hero this is so beautiful
Holy fuck my job got fan art
hey. is this yours?
HOLY SHIT
edit: I should clarify this isn't my kiosk. my kiosk was probably taken out in pieces and most likely by mall management. but it's an extremely funny coincidence
[ID in alt]
Tutorial on drawing characters/OCs who have some sort of facial paralysis. It doesn't cover all possible variants because I was using mirror as my main reference lawl
Keep in mind that this is an introductory drawing tutorial and has some generalizations in it, so not every “X is Z” statement will be true for Actual People 👍
Consider supporting me on ko-fi if you find this to be helpful.