Y2M's Nerdcore Life

Just me Mario aka Y2M living the life nerdcore, and sharing things that are on my mind that I just cant do on other, more social pages. The purpose of my page is to share what's on my mind, to share my love of all things nerdcore with everyone (which is usually on my mind)! And to reach out and connect with as many amazing folk with similar views and passions! A window into the mind of Y2M. I already got my passive payback, now I'm just doing it for the fun of it!

[y2m20xx]

The End of This Chapter

Hello, it has been quite a while hasn’t it? Guess that means things have been good. And they have been. Since I last posted any type of update like this, I got engaged to and soon after, married my now wife. Found a place, that we now moved out of, and now spending some downtime at my mother-in-laws before wife and I head to Japan. Yeah...how bout them apples? Comes with the job. Still keep that one tight-lipped, but several of you are smart cookies...you can probably figure it out. Anyway, things have been good, and the trend looks to continue in this next phase of our lives. But as I sit here enjoying the peace and quiet, the legendary Southern hospitality that I’ve heard so much about (my wife’s from Georgia), it has sadly and inevitably led to me having loads of time to think and reminisce about things. The past, present, future. Things that were, that are, and what might have been. Yes, the elephant in the room will be addressed here today.

So a quick recap of things, had a nice bond with someone I had a strong feeling for, considered an equal in nerdcore, though the world of her, etc. Things had a great run for a bit, was happy. Then it all went south. Lies, miscommunication, whatever...the details are irrelevant and no longer matter now. Bond shattered asunder, sides were drawn. For a time, one person or the other would find an opportunity to covertly or overtly fire a volley of shade at the other, who would immediately retaliate. This went on for a long while until it didn’t. We entered a Cold War phase. Then I decided to make it hot, it was prompted due to me being angry...that I was wronged and she did not take responsibility. Not my finest hour, I will definitely own that. But instead of going hot, we talked...well...we talked after some initial volleys. But we talked. And then something happened that didn’t happen before when we tried to squash it, we actually listened to each other and owned up. She went first. And I...I was speechless. I had expected nothing to come out of that conversation, just the same old bs. But what I got...I was not prepared for. But it blew me away and give me...closure? I cant think of a better word so we’ll go with that for now. Anyhow, it meant a lot. From someone who knows, it takes a certain strength to admit to one’s mistakes. And well, I had acted ugly in parts, so I very well couldn’t just say nothing. I apologized too. And so the Cold War, that got a little spicy for a bit, cooled again and became a detente. And we made up...and walked away. Honestly, that was better than I think either of us ever imagined. To be honest, I was happy with that.

I felt that was enough. Make up, wish each other a good life and walk away. But life, as I have learned time and again, has a way of surprising you. As she popped up and said hello. And well, I had to say what was on my mind. That I just wanted my friend back. My good lady friend, sister in nerdcore, and confidant. And I think, I hope, she wanted the same. She moved on and so did I. And we both found someone and married them. And that’s wonderful. She has her own next chapter on the horizon, and I’m about to start mine shortly. We all deserve some peace and happiness in this fucked up world, and I’m happy she found some. And obviously, I’m happy I found some too. And well, that was expressed, and the bond that was broken is now fixed. The detente is no more. Basically friends and supporters if this was too TLDR: We was cool, then we were warring, then Cold War, then understanding, then peace and a friendship mended. So guns down gang! The war is over. 

Boom. Peace in our time. I mean it worked for the Koreas right? lol Well anyway, this is good. As I wanted to square all accounts before leaving the country for a bit. Considering where I’m going it’s best to start thing off with a clean slate. Tabula rasa. 

 And yet, because of course that’s how my mind works, I cant help but reflect on it all. I really did have powerful feelings for her. It was a secret to no one lol. And to me, she was perfect. Ideal I guess you can say. And, I was willing and ready to go all in. As in her burdens being mine...you know where I’m going with this. I had put her on such a high pedestal, and did not hesitate to go to bat for her. Which also proved to be my downfall in the end. Still, before the days when it did go south, those were some good days. I enjoyed them and cherish those days. And so, at least just for this instant, I think about what might have been...what would have happened if things had not gone south, but the opposite direction. Nice thoughts. But, not the reality. Ever since I first heard this in Star Trek VI, I never forgot these words that Spock said about how the universe has a way of making things work itself out, that “everything will unfold as it should”. And with Leigh (my wife), it did. When I met her, I was still pretty sore and hurting, and I was not looking for nor expecting love. It came all the same. I healed and became whole and stronger because of her. And because of that (and so many other reasons that would take an entire post to list), I just had to marry her. 

And here we are. I am happy. And couldnt be happier for sis in nerdcore for the similar path she took. So, while I will always be glad for those good days, while I pondered on how nice things would be on the what ifs, I’m happy that everything panned out like this. I’m married, going to a dream country, and a have my dear friend back. Ah yes...Japan. My wife and I have lived together for a few months, but moving here together will allow us to live together, grow together, heal together...away from it all. And believe me, I have one hell of a wishlist of places to visit, things to do, and food to eat over in Japan. And yes, I will be making a nerd pilgrimage to Akihabara. Duh. 

Well, as the saying goes, all’s well that ends better. And finally just want to say this to my friend, who no doubt will read this (I know you lol), well...I’m sorry it did go south for a bit...but I am glad you are in my life as a friend still. Thank you for the good times, I will cherish them. And good luck to your own new chapter on the horizon. Live well Linds. 

Peace in our time. Who’d have thunk it? :) 

And now...the end of this chapter. Time to begin the next one. Y2M out.

[crazy-talk]

Hey, all.

Did you know that this blog has an images tag? Well, it does, and you can look through it for free. You can expect to find such wonderful image quotes as the following:

EDIT: Apparently the links didn’t work properly the first time, whoops. That’s the downside of writing Tumblr posts at 4:30AM, I suppose. They should be good to go now though, so go look through the tag.

[X] - Woolie warns of reality vaginas!

[X] - Woolie ruminates on race!

[X] - Matt successfully predicts the future!

[X] - Pat says the most relatable thing possible!

[X] - Pat gives good life advice!

Take a look through the tag, there’s a whole lot more in there. If you can successfully guess which one I like best, you’ll even win a prize. The prize is- it’s my admiration for how good you are at guessing, that’s the prize. So go check a look!

[y2m20xx]

Wisdom of the lads.

[y2m20xx]

A Monument to My Wins

Hello all. Here I sit, on my way back from a my little odyssey that I embarked upon months ago. And I think, as I see the culture war that I’ve been involved in spill over to the public setting, for far more political reasons and far more violence than what I’ve been in...I can’t help but wonder what I’m coming back to. It’s disturbing how bad the extremists voices on both sides have drowned out those of balance, civility and compromise.  But the more I think about it, I think that it’s not a problem as long as I don’t look up. I already have enough on my hands. I, for the most part, am staying in my lane. I lost enough friends and made more enemies because of it. But I believe it is still a cause worth fighting.

I originally formed a Nerdcore Resistance when sjws began to affect and corrupt my community with their extremist political rhetoric. And through it all, I’ve seen a few setbacks but a many victories: The destruction of Gawker and the defection of Laci Green being the biggest among them. The painful part is seeing the cost ...how many of friends...some that were near and dear to me fell to the side that is pro-censorship, being a victim and using their shitty pasts to justify making others as miserable as they are. I am resolved in this, not just for nerdcore, but because those same former friends proved one thing to me...that if they can fall to what amounts to post-modern take of everything I, this country, nerdcore, free speech and western civ stand against...then it MUST be fought. Plus, they haven’t given us a choice. Everytime we’ve tried dialogue, discourse, compromise...they slap our hand away, shut us down and attack us. Everytime. So now, we just respond in kind. They lack conviction, they dwell on their pasts, and use it to justify their shitty behavior. That’s the difference between the arch-rival and I. It’s why this victory, this personal victory now is mine. Why there is no reason to perform a coup-de-grais. They’re are doing a great job of finishing themselves with their desperate cries for attention and company.

Meanwhile, I’ve been to places few dream about and fewer still actually been. I saw the Parthenon in Athens, the Temple of Poseidon, walked through ruins is Crete, rode the camels in Bahrain, saw the wealth of Dubai, and of course made it to my dream place of Great Britain. London was everything I hoped for. I made a nice skip to Cardiff, Wales to see a nerdcore site...the Doctor Who Experience. That made me smile, it’s going to close in September and I visited before that. And then, an unexpected surprise, a Star Wars exhibit in London. I will return that blessed country soon with my girlfriend...my love in tow. Speaking of which, she is waiting for me. My love...the woman that I’ve hoped for. I traded a rotten peach for a sweet one. Openness, honesty,  conviction, fire...she is everything that fake ass was not and never could be. She makes my fire burn bright. It’s why I know I can overcome anything. Yet another reason why I dont do anything to the arch-rival.

Speaking of which, as I said before, I tried overtures of friendship and reconciliation. And everytime, it was met with contempt and name-calling. Details that she conveniently forgot to mention is her rant. Pro tip “dragon”, if you are try to make amends with someone, maybe not start by calling them a moron and antagonizing them right off the bat. Do you even diplomacy? So here’s another blunt truth, you lost. You have lost so much in your need to be right, facts be damned. You would rather burn several bridges, lie or hide the truth to those who swore to have your back, and in turn push away people who were on your side. People who genuinely loved you, who opened up to you, who trusted you...you shit on them for no reason other than to be right. To excuse all of that because of “muh past emo shit”. It is why you find yourself short of friends and supporters. Why you backed the wrong horse in this culture war, and saw how that’s going. Why I could now care less what you do: To me, to nerdcore, to yourself. You are not worth making any attempt (positive or negative) over. I have seen, done and accomplish things. I have found someone whom I can see myself having a life with. Why, I’m gonna continue to reach limits and try to surpass them. Why I will keep fighting sjws until they are driven out of nerdcore, culture and swept into the dustbin of history where they belong. And I do this in spite of, not because of past. As it should be. You are toothless and clawless. I’m sorry that that is how it played out.

And yet, in a sense, I thank you for it. I reforged myself, got stronger, moved on, fought on, and met someone who now has my heart. And all that I accomplished, all that I did, the woman that I’m with, the recognition that I got...are all monuments to my wins. I win or I learn. Fire warms, but fire burns. I don’t do anything, because I don’t need to. Because living well, and better, is the best revenge.

[amandashepard]

Confirmation from Mass Effect Andromeda producer Fernando Melo that there will be no single player DLC for the game.

[noc-tua-deactivated20241106]

Hey everyone who blew this game’s issues out of proportion: fuck you.

[realvivianjames]

lol enjoy your buyer’s remorse.

you were warned, everybody told you that this game was going to be trash and that EA is an exploitative douchebag of a publisher. enjoy your shitty mass effect spinoff.

[realvivianjames]

I think I’ve lost a bit of pull with the other quote-unquote anti-sjws since coming out as anti-Trump.

[rancidegg]

I think there’s plenty of us who aren’t fans of Trump tbh.

[realvivianjames]

I meant to say “some of” but I guess I forgot.

[zordonofakkad]

I feel consistently forced to defend him against a lot of the dishonest crap flung his way by many anti-trumperts and I’m anti-trump. But then again, ever since the culture war went into full swing anti-sj folks have moved to sjw-levels of identitarian tribalism. 

[cookingwithroxy]

it’s one of those odd things where I HATE Trump but I’m stuck defending him, even as I voted for Hillary. Not because I care for him, he’s a massive worthless shithead. But because I prefer honesty and accuracy, what can I do?

[looking-for-anti-sjws]

I’m a fiscal conservative in a state that’s voted blue ever since a Republican attempted assassination victim was up for reelection. My vote literally does not matter. So I voted for the candidate I hate the least: Gary MF Johnson. BUT, as much as I refused to vote for Trump or to consider him an acceptable candidate, there is more unsupportable BS being thrown at him and endorsed by supposedly ethical journalistic media than I think there has been towards any other president who has served during my lifetime and I find it completely unacceptable. Hate the man, hate his policies, lament that he was the winning candidate, lament that the only person who had a chance to win against him was completely untenable, but don’t make up bullshit and don’t drag his family into shit.

[luna-cry]

I’m in this boat. I loathe Trump, but someone has to keep the bastards honest and hold every misinformation spreader to account.

[siryouarebeingmocked]

In other words, “stop crying wolf!”

[theunnamedstranger]

>OP “anti-sjws who disagree with my political philosophy aren’t real” seems to be what you’re implying.

[realvivianjames]

All I said is that some people don’t seem to respect my opinion as much since I’ve started being more anti-trump? How does that imply anyone is less real?

Not every post on this site is an attack on someone’s character, yo.

[y2m20xx]

I’m in the same boat.

[y2m20xx]

Fire Rising

Well, here we are again. As my little odyssey comes to close, I realize that I have been on the rise. My mood, my confidence, my strength of will...all of it has grown exponentially. The sjws are feeling the full offensive of those who are tired of their shit...and my own rivals have been quelled. Mostly. It really hasn’t been a better time to be me and alive. Confidence? Or arrogance? I still believe that only weak-willed people believe it’s the latter. Well, before I get into what has made get hyped and why things are good, I need to address a downer development...

Well, despite my instincts, friends, and others advising against this...I decided to give one last gesture of civility to the “dragon” arch-nemesis. Which for those interested...she’s like me but the opposite. The anti-me, if you will. Anyway, I tried giving one more compliment and advice so that the events of how our cold war schism happened dont have to happen to anyone else. That is tragic...because all of that could have been so easily prevented. But I already detailed that one, so I wont get into it here. Anyway, I was hoping to start a dialogue in the hopes that maybe...just maybe...a reconciliation could be made. But sadly, and predictably, her own shortsightedness and stubborn need to never be wrong and accept any responsibility or criticism kicked in again. Once again, blaming everyone but herself for what happened. And once again, finding a convenient excuse as to why. We can add “oh, he’s telling me something that doesn’t fit my narrative...so he must be a belittling asshole” with “oh I dont believe in labels” and “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings so I said nothing” as far as excuses go. It’s both amazing and tragic that all this time has passed and yet hasn’t learned anything from it.  Though considering that same M.O. that I was victim of happened again to some other poor sap...well...it’s not surprise really...Really though it takes some talent to do kind of shitty things, and then when confronted, turn it around and say “I’m not the problem, everyone else is just being a meany bo-beany.” She did now with the post I left. Which is funny, because as someone who claims to not dwell on the past, she sure loves to dig it up for her convenience. I think that’s what sucks the most...I thought of her as a friend...more actually...a kindred spirit. But this last year has shown that is willing to betray me and everything we stood for, for the sake of being right. And well...isnt that what SJW behavior boils down to ultimately. Now, I’m not saying that’s what she’s become but if the shoe fits...

Also, she mentions that I could have just said hi and everything would have been fine. And I had to try to not burst out laughing at that shit. One, you could made a move too you know? Two, That was tried before...before you actually belittled me and then when confronted about it predictably got very stubborn. Which boils down to the core of it: You can’t handle being confronted with the truth/facts/arguments/debate. You would much rather sever ties than admit that maybe...just maybe...it might have been you who fucked up. But I’m done. I tried...I really did. Like many of the sjws out there, I tried to listen...I tried a dialogue...I tried to understand and reach an understand. But I learned that you all simply dont care. Your NEED to be right, trumps all. You’ve played your part, as the monsters you swore to never become. So i must play mine, as one who fights the monsters. Not the rival though. Friends have asked why not pull a coup-DE-grois? The simple answer is because I don’t need to. I already gave her a harsh truth, I showed her the mirror. And she reacted the way she did then like she did now because somewhere in there it bothers her that someone called her out on her bullshit. It happened and she knows it and will always know that. And while she stewed and made her choices...i moved forward. I continue the good fight against sjws and the corruption of nerdcore, I continue to love my nerdy things, but best of all, I found someone who is everything I hoped for. Everything the arch-nemesis is not. And my heart warmed and grew. My fire...it used to be just embers...now roars in a mighty flame. I feel invincible. I feel that any adversary I cross, I can overcome. And I have. I did not stew in the past, nor did I use it as a way to excuse myself. I rose, I propelled forward, and I am winning. I traded a rotten peach for a sweet one (the joke is that their both from Georgia). Other wins? I am leading a Based group to fight sjws on the internet battlefield. I fulfilled a dream goal. I went to Britain, I visited London...I went to Wales for the freaking Doctor Who Experience! I made it. I’ve been to places that made me feel alive. The baptism of fire I went through over this last year...I feel cleansed. I feel things are coming together. I feel I can rise higher still. All because I did not choose to stop, but run forward. So folks, to answer the original question, I dont do anything definitive because I already won. The life paths for both this past year should make that clear. And futhermore, after speaking to folks that have crossed paths with her, has only vindicated that which I already realized on my own. Basically, it’s all over but for the white flag. Which she wont wave. Which is fine by me. I stand by my take...and the truth.

Now, I just want to return to my sweet and beautiful girlfriend who is waiting for me. And continue to live the life I lead. Fire burns, and is not for the weak-willed. So much to do when I get back. She’s my life now. And the photo of me in front of the Doctor Who Experience, a monument to my wins. One more thing, to other sjws out there. Nerdcore is protected. You will be beaten. That is my role because I am a goddamn nerdcore icon who stay true to his community and isn’t desperately trying to prove that unlike others. Thanks for the forum internet. And thanks for proving my point for me yet again my dear arch-nemesis. Peace oot!

[y2m20xx]

State of Nerdcore 2017

Hello friends, and welcome to this year’s State of the Nerdcore Address. I apologize for being late with this one, but other commitments have kept me away. But here at last we come to it:

Friends, the last 365+ days have been simply fantastic for us in the Culture War against that would seek to censor, corrupt or destroy Nerdcore. The SJW has found themselves with their momentum breaking. Little by little, others are realizing their hypocritical charlatan ways and have turned against them. The nerdcore community, which the majority have stood by and did nothing...and now realizing the sjw for the threat to our community they represent. On many fronts, any gains they have made we have turned in our favor. The initial tide turning in November 2016, the destruction of Gawker, the failures of Jokemon Go and Ghostbusters, Marvel’s decision to stop publishing sjw friendly stories in a few months, the defeat of LeBouf and his flag art thing, and the biggest and most recent event...the red-pilling and defection of former SJW darling Laci Green.  The sjw has found themselves reeling, hurting, and without direction. Everything they’re trying now is not from a position of strength, but as acts of desperation. You’ll notice it’s the same tired old tactics as well (calling dissenters “Nazis”, misogynists, racists, etc) in hopes that their professional victimhood carries weight with others. The answer is quickly becoming “not anymore”.

This extends to me personally. The sjw arch-nemesis and her punk friends have been thoroughly pacified, the dragon has been slayed if you will. Many people have caught on to her schtick. We’ve traded notes if you will. You know myself, and many others, were just people who wanted to enjoy nerd culture in every media form...with free flowing content, speech and expression. And to have a free and censor-free internet to share it all. That’s it. I had fought for nerdcore against the popular kids/anti-nerdcore groups in the past. I didn’t plan on being in a clash not just for nerdcore, but for culture in general. We gave as good as we got, when the odds were against us in the beginning. We’ve offered the chance to talk and end things civilly time and again. Every time, the answer has been contempt, censorship and forcing their extremists ideals on everyone. We did not desire to start a culture war, but we plan to win this one.  The sjw is wounded but still not beaten, and we in turn we stand strong, stand firm, stand united until the end. Bottom line, the state of nerdcore is getting stronger. We have some work to do, but we’re not on the defensive now. I just want to end this, and go back to geeking out the latest comics, watch Doctor Who, enjoy the latest Star Wars with the girlfriend. Hopefully, we’ll get there one day. Stay strong my friends. Goodnight and good luck.

[y2m20xx]

Some Attendees of Pokemon Go Fest Are Filing A Lawsuit Against Niantic

Some Pokemon Go Fest attendees are filing a lawsuit against Niantic, the developer of the popular mobile app and organizer of the official fan event. They made the trip to Chicago to find out they're not able to play due to technical issues, so now they're seeking reimbursement for travel expenses. According to Polygon, Chicago-based attorney Thomas Zimmerman was contacted by Jonathan Northan and "20 or 30" other attendees about the problems they faced at Pokemon Go Fest

How does it feel to be wrong yet again? Now, can we let this farce of a “game” die already?

[y2m20xx]

Matt: I've read that kids that color outside of the lines become supervillains.

Woolie: Generally serial killers.

[flyingrottenreblogzz]

Bye :)))

[lastsonlost]

Not up for debate.

An I’m not going to say I don’t make the rules

But I’m laying down the law because art is my gospel.

[dude-dude-dude-dude-dude-2]

…..still here?

[robert-the-redhead-lover-deacti]

Reblogging because I can’t find any lies in the original picture.

[y2m20xx]

Not dead. Also, I’m back to slap the sjw plebs with my based hand.

[y2m20xx]

Also, if you're going to burst in after months of no contact. After months of me moving on and finding some happiness...to "try" to settle things...but start off by calling me an "an egotistical moron", insulting me, and failing to learn anything even after I spell it out for you...you are a fucking idiot. Sorry, not sorry. This was never about actually making amends...it was about trying to placate me while still keeping me in your grasp. Well, I don't care if I knew you personally or not, you are sjw scum....you have shown your true colors...and recently you've confirmed everything I suspected. And like Jenna, you fail to accept responsibility, fail to own up, and instead believe your own false narrative you created to push the blame on everyone else but yourself. You tell me to grow up, but fail to realize the hypocrisy in that statement. As you have leaned NOTHING, and continue to use your baggage to absolve yourself from everything. I'm no saint either, but at least I OWN UP to my mistakes. But whatever, you are no longer my fucking problem. Fall on your own sword as many times as you like. Don't expect me to flinch. I don't care anymore. Bye Felicia, don't let the door hit you.

[y2m20xx]

Unfinished Business

Hmm. At last, some days off. I get a chance to finally breathe and relax. Unfortunately, it also means that I have a lot of time to think. To reflect I guess. I can’t complain about the change and recovery that I made. The pendulum swung faster than I thought. My flame is burning bright. And yet, there are still some things that are bothering me.

I hate lack of resolution. I absolutely do. If I’m involved in something, I need to see it through. To whatever end. Unfortunately, there are a couple of issues that are left unresolved. My pops always said that in order to really speed ahead, is to not let past issues remain unresolved. To stay in a moment in then last is to make yourself stuck. I have two.

The first, we all know about. The wyvern herself. *sigh* That…is complicated. After all the arguing, and the…heavy emotions that both had…I decided to stick around. BUT, then the real revelations happened. And the dumb ass argument happened, and neither has spoken to each since. I ended up being right, but that’s not the point. It just seems that I can’t just walk away from her in any way. First, it was my own feelings that kept me close, then her genuine need to have me stay in her life. Now, I just want an end point…a resolution. Whether it’s repairing the bridge, or burning it down completely…I need something. I’ve been real good at distracting myself with other stuff…and there has been plenty lately…but still I realize that I have to end that chapter one way or another.

While my fiery nerdcore warrior side has been reaping the glory of victory in nerdcore and sjw matters, on the deeper level I still think about those better days. The company, the wine, the laughter, the joy her little girl had…which in turn filled me with joy. That…was real. That was sincere. And despite how south things are now…I can’t just throw those memories away. So, I imagine, someday soon…I’m going to have be the one to break the deadlock and talk…find out if anything can be salvaged…or if I just walk away as originally planned. Either way, I feel that those golden days are over. But I need a resolution….to whatever end.

Then…there’s the other unresolved issue. And that is with someone I had a past with. An ex, not the crazy one, but someone I was with before I broke it up before I left for the Navy. Turns out she still had powerful feelings for me. As much as I had them for wyvern girl. Yeah…maybe you can see where this is going. Well, she wanted to start again with me, and I refused. Because…I was pursuing the wyvern girl. She…did not take it well. And I don’t blame her. I broke her heart. I know the feeling. I basically sacrificed someone who was honest and open with their feelings, whom I had a fantastic relationship with, all for someone that…wasn’t. I feel awful for her. I want to talk to her…to apologize…to fix it. In fact, I feel more urgency here than the former…because…among the several reasons is that I realize the gravity of the error I made. And...I feel that this one is going to be the harder of the two to tackle. *sigh*

So, while I have kicked ass, surged and burn bright like the flame I am…it came at a serious cost. And for me to truly move on…to move forward…I need to resolve this. I must. I hope I can.

[y2m20xx]

Poetry in Motion

The Pacific northwest has captured my heart. It's beautiful here, I love how buildings blend in seamlessly with forest. Some things have happened. Nothing terrible, just a plot twist here and there. All I'm saying is that I have more reasons why I can't wait to visit home at the end of the year. And, I've been low key researching things like "cost of living" and "jobs in Washington". After I pay my dues, I'd like to settle in new digs after. And this place is amazing. One day. But anyway, I still have to deal with what's coming over the next month, both professionally and personally. That's also a tomorrow problem. I've been scribbling some poetry lately . I guess, saying what I feel has kept me inspired. This one is dedicated to my soc jus pals. Well, more like to those who resist them. 'Fires of Rebellion' Our names won't be remembered If we die on our knees in submission I refuse to be forgotten Written off as apathetic Call them out And be called 'misogynist' Disagree with them And see them triggered You no longer live as cattle Will you rise and join the battle? There are people that live off fears And their words are like knives As they play with our lives They'll try to control you As if they own you Will you let them steal your freedom? Channel the anger swelling inside you Fighting the boundary till you break through Deep in your soul there's no hesitation So make yourself the one they fear There is wild fire inside you Burning desire you can't extinguish Your crimson flame Rips through the twilight This is the moment for war As for me, well, I have a month left before I have to deal with that elephant in the room. But if things go as they have been lately, I believe everything will unfold as it should.

[y2m20xx]

Forever Flame Part 2

Well, as promised, here I am again. So, let me sum up what happened over the blast month. I started off at a very low point. My heart was shattered. My hope was crushed. My fighting spirit...waning. But, it was also at this time I thought about things...and things did not add up. So, the dragon lady and I hashed it out. And then again. And one more time. Until she convinced me to not walk away, which was the original plan. She said she needed me....which I'll admit...I was not expecting to hear. So, despite all the advice from those still loyal to me, despite my own instincts telling to still walk...I did the opposite. Because, I still cared very much for her. Because, if this was any other person, I wouldn't have. But she isn't just another person. And because, despite all that has happened, the good times and her kindness were genuine. Pretty much one of the few things that actually was. And I gave as good as I got in that regard. So, I stayed for her. But, I subtly let it be known, that things wouldn't be exactly the same. I forgave, but now my guard was up, and the kid gloves would be off from here on out. Which is funny that it wasn't that whole issue that caused the schism that is now happening. No, it was over Ghostbusters of all things. When I found out her soc jus colors, and how deep they ran. It was pretty disappointing, I'll admit. Every sjw tactic was used against me that day. I knew how to counter them all, because this wasn't first rodeo. She swore fire and brimstone because she's a dragon or something. I can't look at those posts now without chuckling. But it was here, at this point when her colors were revealed...that a spark was set off in me. And reignited everything that was fading away in me. I guess it was a moment of epiphany for lack of a better term. I had compromised too much of myself for one who really never saw it. I had seen that, while I considered her an equal nerdcore wise, I had feelings still, I felt for what she endured...no one should be above critique, disagreement...and well she started the argument. She commented on my post. And I am not an sjw, I don't block, unfollow, or safe space myself. I will respond in kind. Guess the dragon was prepared for another force to stand against her. Fire...my fire. An inferno. And I made that clear. So, she safe spaced herself. It took a lot of willpower to not laugh loudly at the gym that day. But then, things happened as I predicted...as I knew would happen. Everything I called, came to pass. To say I felt vindicated is an understatement. I know the nerdcore community. And while many have fallen to soc jus, many others don't buy their brand of crazy. The proof is right there. I don't know what the point of all that was, but if it was meant to bother me in some way, well...it didn't. If anything, I felt a giant burden lifted from my shoulders. My mood has improved. My nerdcore and fighting spirit back. I went from embers to a blazing inferno. So, I moved on. Posting, laughing, getting through the day with my groove. I tried to date someone locally. Another southern girl. That was a mistake. See, I noticed something...four southern girls later....I realized that while they are nice folk and that whole southern charm is not a myth...they are fake asses. This one did a piss poor of lying with the lame ass excuse they gave. And when confronted, they get outraged at you for catching them in their lie. Hilarious. But that's okay, I moved on pretty quickly from that one. For in two weeks, something good that I feel has been a long time coming, will finally happen. I have high hopes for what comes next. Things right now, both work wise and personal life, are aces. That pendulum effect. It has been an eye opening few weeks. All these revelations that happened, some disappointing, some uplifting. Also, I realized that one of so-called advisors was just a troll and a traitor all along. Fucking Jenna...well...I suppose if one good thing came out of all.of this, is seeing the true colors of those you held in high regard. To me, betrayal is a cardinal sin...one of three. The other two being lying/withholding information and hypocrites. But at the same time, I was equally surprised with the understanding and civility of one of the dragon lady's friends. I really was expecting...well...not that. And that...well...made a lot of difference. I appreciate that, and while the first impressions of said person were not great years ago, I'm glad I stuck around and saw how great this person was. A budding nerdcore soul and a friend. No matter what will happen in the next couple of months, how it all unfolds, I wish this person well and hope all her plans for happiness come true. Which brings me to something I've been putting out of mind till now...what's next? What do I do? I could stick to the original plan and walk. Or maybe work something out. I don't know. I can't read minds and I don't know what's going on in hers. Perhaps she's doing the same thing as I am, and occupying herself with other things to avoid thinking about it. I dunno. It's sad, how it is though. Despite the aura of soc jus in her, despite the aggravating stubbornness...I still respect her. Still consider her a nerdcore icon...if a slightly misguided one...and yes...I still have flashes of feelings there. But, it's not the same. And while I'll never forget the good times, the times she was vulnerable and in pain...the times I was and opened up to her....the kindness...and what I did for her....things have happened. And it won't be the same. Which sucks, because if I do stick to the original plan, I know what that will mean. And while this is for me and for self respect, for moving forward, I would take no joy in it. Because I really did love her...if nothing else than as a close friend. To quote the Eleventh Doctor, "Sometimes winning is no fun at all". But if there is one thing this experience has done for me, it has been a reawakening for me. I feel like there's light and life in me again. It was...a baptism of fire. But at a cost. Fire is awesome, but it does not discriminate. Sometimes, things must be burned away. I hope I'm wrong there, but I must prepare if if I'm not. I suppose as the days to October are close, I'll find out for sure. But as for me, the flame is lit. And while it may weaken again, I know I can pull myself out and reignite. Forever Flame. Bye for now.

[y2m20xx]

Forever Flame Part 1

Well, here I am again gang. And in a far better state than I was a month ago. The pendulum has swung, both in personal life, and in the overall battle for the nerdcore community. I decided to split this into two parts, one focusing on my fight against sjws, and the other focusing more of what's being going on with me personally which I will post later. My predictions for how Ghostbusters and Suicide Squad would fare turned out to be completely accurate, as I knew they would. Not to mention how for the first time in a long time, DC has overtaken PC Comics...I mean...Marvel Comics in sales. Again, all due to the fact that A: People love great stories first and foremost...especially when they give due justice to the character, series, creators, etc and B: When our little soc jus friends aren't force feeding them their extremist and overreacting crap. Safe space and echo chamber all you want, you can't hide from the truth. Plus, the news about Gawker. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Yes! You see, Gawker has been a long time hub for sjws online, and through sites like Kotaku, have been spreading the soc jus disease into the nerdcore community. These were the assholes that were responsible for the infamous "Gamers are dead" article. For nearly two years we resisted the soc jus tide, and for the last 10+ months the pendulum finally began to swing in our favor a bit. Now, thanks to Hulk Hogan and Peter Thiel, two victims of Gawker's shady soc jus practices, along with resistance groups like Gamer Gate and the Nerdcore Resistance...Gawker has been sued into bankruptcy...sold off...and now has only a week of life left before it is shut down. This is a HUGE victory to based folk, free and creative speech, and the nerdcore community in general. Though the fight against sjws will continue, this means they now have one less crutch to lean on. In essence, we blew up their Death Star. Obviously, now they will probably double down and stubbornly fight on. And that's fine. But I hope they know that we're not stopping our momentum now. Though I can't speak for the rest of the nerdcore community, I have my personal goals on what I would consider total victory. First, we resist and best them at every turn until they lose their influence, give up, and go the way of Jack Thompson, the Senators who tried to ban gaming in the 90's, and those dumb ass church groups that tried to ban Dungeons and Dragons in the 80's for "satanic reasons". The second part is a bit more tricky. And that is, what happens next? What I mean by that is this, you wanna know why sjws aren't going away...why they started off with such a strong advantage? Because many of them...are us. Yes, many were part of the nerdcore community, and we're swayed politically into the sjw fold. And so, they want to control and dictate what content and stories are best for everyone. Many have fallen from the lifestyle and turned. Even I know some personally who did that, or revealed their true colors...including a fellow nerdcore icon. That was disappointing, for many reasons. One of which is this...I have been fighting or standing up against those who've threatened the lifestyle for years...and while it has been a hell of a run...I want to just step back and just go back to being a Nerd who just focuses on the life. Twice I tried to find someone to pass the torch to. Twice I thought I finally found that person whom I considered a close friend. Twice they revealed what they really are...and has saddened me in the process because I thought they were better than that. So here I am, still defending the lifestyle against people that should be my brother and sister nerd and geeks, but have betrayed the principles to "social justice". And here we are now. Anyway, my point is what about them? Some will probably want to shun them for good and make them pariahs. But...I think in the case of a few of them...including that said fallen nerdcore icon...I think it's best if we bring them back into the fold with an open hand, instead of dealing with them with a closed fist. No matter how much of the kool aid they drank...in the end they are nerds and geeks at their core. Again, referring to those I know personally when I hung out during better times, they are just as passionate about the life as I. And I feel with some civil dialog, and hopefully an understanding...reconciliation can happen. The nerdcore community has been splintered for too long, and it's time to make this house whole again. That, I feel, is the best way to go forward. So that the community and life can endure as it always has and move forward together. To quote Optimus Prime, "Until ALL are one." Join me in two days for part two...where I talk about how things are for me personally. And once again, I won't hold back. Because there's no safe space here lol. Bye for now.

[y2m20xx]

Suicide Squad made nearly as much in three days as Ghostbusters did in about a month. Thus proving that critics are full of shit...because many of them are sjw lackeys that put special interests over fairness and entertainment. Then try to guilt when you don't but what they're selling. Then try to brush it off when their babies flop. Bottom line, if critics and sjws like a thing and try to peddle it to you, it's usually shit. If they hate a thing and try to crusade against it, it's usually great. Looks like James Rolfe wasn't the only one that was right. Ttyl8r.

[y2m20xx]

Dragons fall, when the pendulum swings...

Memories of you fall to the bottom of my soul like sediment Only resurfacing when nostalgia stirs those better days up But it was a deception, from the ultimate deceiver I look at those memories and wonder How exactly were you my best friend When between the lies and deception We were never really anything at all

I don’t hide my poetry or safe space myself. Because if I cannot face adversity and adversary in life, then I do not deserve triumph and happiness. Anyway:

You were good, you knew what you were doing Taking the feelings and passions of fire sign And bending them to your will Perhaps not intentional at first But you couldn’t stop a golden opportunity when it came Using your past, your own issues and insecurities to rally support When those who were ready to give their all to you willingly Were willing to sacrifice their true selves for you You made someone lose their way Snuffing out their fire, the source of their life But you forgot one detail Even if the fire goes out If one piece of ember stays lit, the fire can be reignited With the truth of your character as fuel With my conviction as the spark You wanted to play with fire Turns out, you can handle only kindling And I am an inferno A force of nature, reawakened

Well, these last couple of week have sure been full of revelations. About how I thought I knew someone, but it turns out…in a painful lesson….that even those that have suffered, can still do wrong.

But I already spoke about that. No, let’s talk about how someone has been a closet sjw all along. Well, maybe not a closeted one anymore. But yes, during the discussions about nerd and non-nerd things, every common sjw tactic was used against me. Denial, virtue signaling, strawmanning, turning it around after being cornered and painting themselves the victim. And then, basically saying that the argument was dumb and that they have better things to do…and then safe space themselves. Bravo. So brave. I can’t fathom how anyone chooses to live that way. To be offended by non issues, to run away when they encounter disagreement or a different opinion, to basically go “well I found an echo chamber that agrees with me so lalalalalala!”. I expected it from many, but this person should have been better than that. She’s not dumb, I don’t underestimate her. But I thought perhaps they were better, and possibly someone who can carry on nerdcore in the best possible way. The ideals. But no, what I witnessed, was the opposite of those ideals. My heart was broken twice. This time, this time around, I was not wearing the kid gloves. I warned them that I wouldn’t either. But of course, the one thing that we do have in common, stubbornness, kept this from being an easy affair. But I was no longer pretending to be someone I’m not. I was not being training wheels for anyone anymore…my fire was reignited…my passion returning. I was moving on because I did not want to let a moment of disappointment…or one person control how I was living. So I was moving on and forward. And then THIS came to ahead. And well, I saw all that transpired. The dragon, with all the threat of fire and claws, backed down. When the fire, the true fire…my fire…my conviction…my resolve…my realization of their character…and that I knew the score and how to beat it…even the dragon fell. It’s a win filled with mixed emotions. Because I know that this helped me come back from the brink of darkness and despair. But I know what it can and might cost me. Which is a shame, because those good days were some of the best. Days now behind that will probably never happen again. But well, that is life. I will move on. And so too, will life. I don’t exactly know what’s coming next, but I know I’m ready. I am fire. I am alive again…and I slayed a dragon. The unkindled has become flame again. And I will continue to fight for nerdcore, and take on any sjw…local and otherwise that threatens the way of life. Because I am not a slave to anyone’s will. No one can control fire.