pairing; highschool!taesan x fem!reader wc; 1.5k cw; mentioned all bnd mem, angst with comfort, mild language, unrequited feelings, emotional denial, mutual pining, mentions of past relationship written in taesan pov
synopsis ‘i keep thinking of you’ isn’t a love confession, it’s an aftermath: taesan’s bruised pride turned into melody — the sound of someone pretending he’s fine while still stuck on the girl he swore he forgot. a mix of jealousy, denial, and reluctant affection, wrapped in a sound too raw to be fiction.
a/n i ask for apologize from the deepest of my heart :( i was so busy with school and exams and but i cant stop writing, and this is the best draft i had for now. btw i try different style of writing, i think writing in his pov is quiet comfortable?
"...would you like to be my girlfriend?"
"sorry, i'd like to—i'd love to—but i think i'm not good enough for you."
"huh?" that might be the worst thing i’ve ever heard in my entire life.
i’ve had a crush on you since our first year—the way you laughed during p.e. even though you were terrible at sports, the way you focused so hard in class and sighed with relief after answering teachers' questions. i’m usually confident when it comes to girls i like, but you? you were different. you had too many admirers, and somehow, that made me hesitate.
too bad i only realized too late that you had been keeping an eye on me, too. our eyes met one afternoon, and neither of us looked away. i started talking to you after that. my cheesy lines slipped out naturally, but you didn’t seem to mind—maybe you even liked it. after building enough courage, i decided today was the day.
the rooftop after school had always been our place—quiet, private, no one to interrupt. i’m not great at talking, but i’m good with words. i practiced my line for a week straight:
"you know? you’re amazing. you don’t even try, but you make me stay up at night thinking about you. i keep thinking of you. so, please help me get some sleep—would you like to be my girlfriend?"
you froze. your eyes flickered, but you didn’t look surprised.
"sorry, i’d like to—i’d love to—but i think i’m not good enough for you."
"huh?" i barely managed to keep my jaw from dropping. before i could even say another word, you added, "i’m sorry. i can’t. but... i like you too." then you left the rooftop, leaving me there with nothing but the wind and my stupid thoughts.
i kicked the floor lightly, muttering, "unbelievable."
"what the fuck do you think you are? miss universe?" i muttered, pretending to sound amused even though my jaw clenched. it wasn’t like i cared—why would i? i just didn’t expect to be rejected, that’s all. people don’t say no to me. not because i’m desperate for yeses, but because, well, they usually don’t. i kicked at the floor again and exhaled sharply, trying to convince myself i wasn’t annoyed. totally not annoyed.
after that evening, nothing really changed between us. i didn’t tell anyone what happened. i probably wouldn’t have, if i hadn’t found out you were dating some random guy named hyunwoo. out of everyone in this school, him?
not that i’m jealous (i am), but honestly, you deserve someone better. so, i texted you:
'rooftop after school if you’re free.'
and you came.
"what’s the matter? i can’t stay long," you said bluntly.
"listen. as your friend—and as someone who likes you—i think rejecting me and dating that guy was a stupid decision. you said you weren’t good enough for me, but he’s not good enough for you either."
you sighed. "i’ve made my choice. it’s not your business. move on—another girl must’ve deserved you."
and you left. again.
that night, i couldn’t sleep. still thinking of you—and your stupid choice. i ended up opening my old diary and scribbling down thoughts. word by word, sentence by sentence, it became paragraphs. then, somehow, melodies followed. i moved to my pc, opened soundcloud, and started a new project.
i should make a new song.
week passed. the song was finished last night—well, not yours, but mine—and i couldn’t stop listening to it. during break, i was reading while replaying the track when leehan suddenly unplugged one of my earphones and put it on.
"what’s this? it’s good—oh, your new project?" i nodded.
"GUYS! TAESAN FINISHED HIS NEW SONG!"
"what—"
too late. everyone crowded around.
i had no choice but to replay the song from the start. i turned the volume to 90% (hoping no one outside would hear) and leaned back as my classmates gathered around my phone.
oh, girl, you're so amazing
i knew you were mean to me, but i’ll just pretend i don’t know
please stay by my side, 'cause i'm going crazy
it’s annoying that you’re so popular, why
would i ever want to let you go like this, baby
i’ve been awake for hours in the cold
i keep thinking of you, oh
why on earth are you attracted
to that unpleasant beast?
“none of your business, why?”, you tell me to get off
but my mind is full of you (oh)
"how about other girls instead of me?" –what’s about them?
no, I hope you two don’t work out with him, i can’t love someone else
why do you pull me in and push me away?
don’t treat me like a fool, baby (oh, oh)
"oh, another love song, huh?" someone teased. "are the lyrics based on a true story? it sounds like you just got dumped or something—these lyrics feel way too personal, man."
for god’s sake—i hadn’t even thought of that. was it that obvious?
"what are you talking about? the lyrics are fiction. that’s why it’s unfinished," i said. technically not a lie—i did spice it up a bit. just... inspired by a true story.
"so it’s not finished? are you going to continue it?"
"nope. not for now. i haven’t found the right story for the next verse."
nothing really happened after that. i still went to school, did assignments, and sometimes made music—but no new ideas came. you still came to school with your boyfriend—holding hands, skipping classes, taking cute selcas. good for you. it’s not like i cared, right? i had my own life too. i went out with the guys, karaoke, food trips, laughing too loud on purpose. life’s not bad lately.
until one karaoke night with jaehyun, sungho, riwoo, leehan, and woonhak, leehan suddenly said, "hey, i heard y/n and hyunwoo broke up."
i tried not to react, but my mouth betrayed me. "finally, huh?" ten eyes instantly turned to me.
"well, yeah, we all knew they weren’t a match, right?" i defend myself.
"no, but your reaction though."
"...okay, yeah. i’m sorry. guess it’s not a secret anymore."
"you’ve been holding that in this whole time?"
"so that song was about her, huh?"
"WHAT SONG?!"
i sighed. half annoyed, half impressed that leehan remembered something from four months ago.
"you’re good at remembering useless stuff, but i kinda appreciate it," i said. they played the song again.
"bro, i don’t know if you’re dramatically heartbroken or just too good at writing songs, but the real question is: are you going to confess again?" jaehyun said in a mock‑serious tone, like a dad catching his kid doing something stupid.
without hesitation, i said, "no. let her beg until my heart moves. i want revenge."
monday evening. school ended. rain started pouring. bad luck—i didn’t bring an umbrella (my mom told me to, but it was pink). i sat on a random bench, out of the rain, waiting for it to stop. i put on my earphones, scrolled my phone.
then, someone sat beside me. you.
you were quiet. i started first.
"no umbrella either? well, good. just don’t get wet." i smiled a little, then looked back at my phone.
you fidgeted with your sleeve, your gaze fixed on the puddles forming on the pavement. your voice faltered a little when you finally spoke, and before i realized it, your eyes welled up. then you cried.
watching you cry hurt. i wanted to comfort you, but people might assume things. still, doing nothing made me look worse.
"why?"
you wiped your tears. "i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to cry here. it’s embarrassing. i just... regret how i denied my true feelings. it hurts twice as much."
i stayed silent. i knew where this was going.
"well... i was wondering, are you still—"
"i’m sorry. i closed myself off. i lost the feeling because i thought it wasn’t necessary anymore. i need time to rethink if this is right or not."
and i did rethink. why would i give a second chance to someone who dated another guy just to make her crush chase her?
"...taesan.."
"but still, if you ever need someone to rely on, i’m here."
i don’t care anymore whether you still have feelings for me or not—because i want to reset everything.
i want a pure, honest feeling.
i’m taking out my anger on nothing but my diary
even the photos we took together, i’m ready to throw them all away
why am i like this? oh, i’m going crazy now
okay, i won’t bother you anymore (yah)
i like just being friends with you, it’s alright if i’m just by your side
it’s not good at all, but you say it’s fine (then that’s fine, i’m okay)
i keep coughing for no reason, and just in time, it’s raining outside
when you’re lonely or feeling down, come to me.
☆ yakaiatori's
a/n this song gave me many different storylines and i keep confused to arrange it into a complete story :/
IT WAS EXQUISITE TREMENDOUS, BRILLIANT, ROYALLY MAJESTIC, STUNNING AND WOWOWOWO. KEEP IT UP SWEEETIE BOO FR IF FOR NO ONE ELSE FOR ME HONESTLYYYYYY .
Holy moly •^• more pls I beg
xxx your fellow onedoor
hohoho you caught me 👀 yes, i have been thinking about the next part… and honestly your ask made me so so happy I could cry 😭💖 I’ll get to it eventually, but I can’t promise it’ll be soon 😢 thank you for waiting tho!!
pairing; grump!taesan x grump!reader wc; 1.1k cw; mentioned dohoon from tws and minji from nwjs
synopsis you don’t get along. he’s loud and annoying, you’re quiet and mean, and somehow you’re always paired up, arguing over literally everything. no one knows why you haven’t killed each other yet. maybe you’re too busy noticing the little things. maybe you don’t even realize.
a/n sorry for being inactive :( mostly active on my main @hankaippung. oh, here’s special work for his bday!
first year of high school. everyone’s still figuring things out. some are already forming groups, some are trying to find where they fit. but not him. not taesan.
from the very first week, everyone knew who he was — loud, impatient, always complaining.
"why is the fan always blowing that way?! It 's so hot here!" he yelled during a free period. people turned their heads. a few whispered, "it’s him again."
you, meanwhile, were in another class. quiet. not because you were shy, because... what’s the point of talking? you got annoyed easily — even someone breathing too loudly could throw off your mood.
eventually, it became a school-wide joke. his class vs yours. loud vs quiet. until someone said, “honestly? taesan and y/n should be in the same class. two rocks. maybe they’ll crack each other open.”
funny how that actually happened.
first year ends, comes second year. that morning, you were walking with minji—half-awake, half-listening to her talk about some drama she stayed up watching—when you stopped by the bulletin board. you didn’t think much of it. just scanned for your name like everyone else.
and then you saw it.
his name. right there. right under yours. same class.
“oh no,” minji had said, peeking over your shoulder. “good luck. try not to murder him”.
week one? absolute chaos. taesan was seated next to you, because your homeroom teacher thought pairing opposites would somehow balance things out. (they didn’t.)
“can you sit straight?! your legs are literally in my space.”
“you keep shaking the table. my handwriting looks as terrible as your face.”
“so now it’s my table’s fault?!”
“no. it’s your hand. your hand is the problem.”
this happened every day. literally, every day.
but slowly... things changed. just a little.
taesan started writing slower. no more table shaking. you adjusted your posture so your legs didn’t bump into his anymore. he brought his own highlighters and correction tape. you stopped borrowing his scissors, started carrying your own stapler.
people noticed. some even made bets. “whoever smiles at the other first, loses.”
neither of you smiled. you were both too stubborn.
still, for two people who claimed to be annoyed every time, you looked at each other a lot. more than anyone else’s, probably. not that either of you noticed it happening. it just... kept happening. he was always there. so were you. in the hallway. at the lockers. across the courtyard.
sometimes your eyes would meet for no reason, sometimes you’d look away too fast, sometimes not fast enough. you weren’t sure why you kept looking. maybe you were just curious. maybe it was his hair. or the way he always frowned when he was thinking too hard. and maybe he looked too. maybe a little too often. but nothing was said. you were both good at pretending you didn’t notice.
one day, he borrowed your highlighter without saying a word.
you knew he had the same one in his pencil case, but you let him take it.
the next day, you asked to borrow his stapler. for no reason.
“you have one, don’t you?” he mumbled.
you did. he handed it over anyway. minji saw from the back. she smiled, teasing. “that’s flirting.” you pretended not to hear.
then came dohoon.
he was usually just... around. never really involved. until one day, he sat beside taesan during lunch.
“mind if i sit here?”
taesan shrugged. “up to you.”
a few bites in —
“so... you’re kinda close with y/n, right?”
taesan froze mid-chew. his eyebrows tightened. “why? you wanna get close to her? just do it.”
“i just wanna know what she likes. and doesn’t like.”
“she gets annoyed easily. one wrong breath and you’re on her blacklist.”
his voice was calm. but the scowl said otherwise.
dohoon chuckled. “you’re serious about this.”
taesan didn’t reply. just stirred his already-melted iced tea.
the next day:
“i was thinking of just asking her to get snacks or something,” dohoon said. “like, casual. not a whole speech.”
taesan raised a brow. “snacks?”
“yeah, like—‘you like those fish-shaped buns, right? i heard they restocked today.’”
taesan blinked. “you literally sound like her uncle.”
dohoon scratched the back of his neck. “okay, fine. then maybe something like—‘hey, want to check out that new bread at the coop later?’ i dunno.”
taesan looked at him like he just said the dumbest thing in the world. “honestly? that’s still less embarrassing than whatever you said earlier.”
dohoon sighed. “then what do i do?”
“ask her to join the debate competition. she’s been staring at that poster a lot lately.”
he regretted saying that to him.
the next day, you stood in front of the bulletin board. same poster.
“hey, wanna join the debate comp together?” dohoon asked, trying to sound chill.
you glanced at him, didn’t even turn your head.
“sorry. i don’t think i’d work well with someone i’m not close to.”
you gave a polite smile. walked away.
dohoon just stood there.
later, during lunch, taesan was halfway through poking at his rice when dohoon dropped into the seat across from him, tray in hand and looking defeated. he didn’t say anything at first—just stabbed his spoon into his tofu.
taesan glanced up, already guessing.
“she rejected me. flat out.”
taesan didn’t even blink. “not my fault.”
dohoon let out a groan and rested his head on the table. “she didn’t even hesitate.”
taesan shrugged, casually chewing. “that sounds like her.”
he said it like it was nothing. real deadpan. real neutral.
but the moment dohoon looked away, taesan's chopsticks paused. his mouth twitched. barely. like he was holding back a smile that absolutely should not be there.
he coughed once, covered it with his fist like it meant something. took another bite like nothing happened. but there was this weird... pause. just half a beat. like something about his tofu suddenly got very interesting. or maybe he was just making sure no one saw him smiling. not that he was. (he was).
classroom, again. no teacher this time. the fan in the corner was loud—still the same one taesan used to yell at because it never turned his way. now it kept spinning unevenly, buzzing loud like it might fall apart any second. weirdly calming, even though it wasn’t quiet at all.
you suddenly said, not looking at him:
“why don’t you join the debate?”
he turned to you. “hm? with who?”
“...me.”
you scrolled through your phone like it was no big deal.
“i mean, sure—”
“cool. just tell me when and where. i’ll handle registration.”
synopsis you’re just quietly trying to survive with a book in your lap during p.e. then sanghyeok shows up—out of breath, smiling—and hands you his phone. that damn phone tradition.
a/n the clip..... explains everything here. anyways hello, this is my first work! hope u enjoy
you don’t even like p.e., neither sport.
you’re just sitting near the edge of the gym with your book, pretending to read while your classmates start stretching and chatting in their sports uniforms.
“he’s cute,” your friend mumbles, watching a group of boys walk past.
“wait—isn’t that sanghyeok?”
you glance up vaguely.
then freeze.
yes. that’s lee sanghyeok.
he’s in your grade. he dances at school festivals. once gave up the last strawberry milk at the canteen with a shy smile like it was nothing. always says “thank you” to the librarian. his voice is soft. his laugh is louder.
you’ve never talked. but you know.
suddenly, a few boys are pulling out their phones—handing them to girls nearby. some with confidence, some too awkward to meet anyone’s eyes.
your friend nudges you.
“that tradition thing again,” she grins.
“they say if a guy likes someone, he gives them his phone to hold before p.e.”
you scoff quietly. “sounds like a pretext for losing your screen protector.”
but then—
a shadow falls over your book.
you look up.
lee sanghyeok.
a little out of breath. smiling nervously. phone in hand.
“hey,” he says, breathless but cheerful. “could you—uh—hold this for me?”
you blink, unsure. “me?”
he rubs the back of his neck, looking everywhere but directly at you.
“i didn’t know who else to ask… or maybe i did. just—uh—yeah, never mind..”
you don’t even answer before he gently sets the phone on your lap and jogs off to join warm-ups.
you stare at it.
it’s warm.
the lock screen is a photo of a dog in a donut costume. you’re 97% sure he took it himself.
you sit very still. hands on your knees. like you’re guarding treasure. you pretend to read again. you don’t turn the page once.
after p.e., the boys are sweaty, laughing, dramatic like they’re in some teen drama.
he comes back. that soft, bashful grin again.
“thanks for guarding it,” he says, walking up to you, casual but a little shy.
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