cw boynextdoor x gn!reader ꒱ bf!bnd, established relationship, kissing, suggestive ( if you squint ), slice of life, skinship, not proofread ( sorry not sorry) 1507 wordcount
◜ ᴗ ◝ i was planning on writing nerd!riwoo, but brainfog took over me and i wrote this instead ♡ reblogs and likes are appreciated!
myung jaehyun ♡s cheek kisses
he was originally a sucker for kisses on the lips, but after seeing the smile that you give him every time he kisses you on the cheek, he couldn’t help but fall in love with kissing your cheek. don’t even get him started when you kiss him back, he basically crumbles every time you do. he loves it when the two of you are cuddling and he has his face oh so close to yours, he just can’t help himself and presses a swift kiss on your cheek. ♡
“baby i’m going to the mall,” you giggled, bag in hand as you stood at the front of the door. all jaehyun could do was smile as you looked so cute, he leaned his head against the wall as a little smile creeped up his lips. “you look really pretty,” he cooed, smirking like a dork as he walked towards you. “oh really?” you batted back, trying your best to look coy. “yes, how could i not think so!” he chuckled. “be safe, okay? make sure to call me if you need anything.” he hummed, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek. you nodded, turning the doorknob. “love you, jae” you sang, making him practically fall backwards.
park sungho ♡s wrist kisses
sungho likes two things when it comes to physical touch, hand-holding and kissing your wrists. in his words “it’s way less awkward for me to kiss your wrists in public than kissing your lips,” even though it draws more attention than kissing, he wants to be “different”. it’s super cute when the two of you are outside and he clasps your hands in his—trying his hardest to warm your freezing hands, only for him to press his soft lips on your wrist. ♡
you were in the middle of trying out all of the cosmetics you bought from your local drug store, bottles of creams and oils scattered all over your bed. “what are you trying out now?” sungho hummed, curiosity all over his face. “i’m using this handcream, it’s vanilla scented and super smooth. honestly— it was worth it,” you rambled as you rubbed the cream in. sungho paid attention to each word you said as he stood in front of you. “come smell it” you cheered, raising your hand for him to hold. sungho bent his head down a bit to smell it, his eyes locked on yours with a cute smile on. “smells really nice, y’know i should buy it..” he said, holding your hand with such care. “it smells so good” he hums, pressing chaste kisses on your wrist before letting your arm fall down. “good, we can go back there and buy it together.”
lee riwoo ♡s hand kisses
this man is like cornfield levels of corny, so don’t be surprised when he jokes about being a gentleman. at first, he would kiss the back of your hand as a “funny” joke, but little did he know he would actually enjoy kissing your hand. whenever you’d come home he would always kiss your hand with a stupid smile attached to his face, giggling to himself about how silly he was. as no surprise to you, you actually became fond of his little joke, even if it was 1000 days old. ♡
riwoo jumped for joy as you brought groceries home, smiling like a dork as he ran over to hold the bags. “i’m so thankful that you brought food home, i am starving!” he sighed in relief, placing the bags on the counter. “you’re welcome,” you chuckled, sliding your slippers off before walking to the kitchen. “soo, what do you wanna eat? we could honestly eat a snack, and then we can cook later.” you spoke up, hoping that your idea fancied him. “yeah sure, i can wait a few more hours before eating,” he smiled, his hands taking the food out of the bags before putting them away. you nodded. as you walked over to the sink to wash your hands, riwoo grabbed your hand softly, holding your fingers in his hand before kissing your hand. “ohmygod! riwoo, i didn’t wash my hand, do you know how gross that is…” you stared at him in shock, “well… if i get sick, you’ll take care of me, right?” you sighed, you knew damn well you would.
han taesan ♡s top of the head kisses
lets cut to the chase. he is way taller than you, so it’s just so convenient to kiss you on the top of the head. that is the only reason he could come up with. plus, he can do it in public and no one would bat an eye cause he can just rest his head on top of yours after. he just loves how you don’t mind him doing that to you. he likes not feeling super embarrassed after kissing you, and you like how he touches you, so it clearly is a win-win situation. ♡
the two of you stood in the moving subway, holding onto the handle as you awaited your stop. taesan stood behind you, hand resting on your waist, holding you near him. you pulled your phone from your jacket pocket and opened the camera app to use it as your mirror. you stared at your phone as you fixed your shirt’s collar, making sure it popped the way you liked it. as you were busy fixing your outfit, taesan rested his chin on your head, watching you. you didn’t even realize he kissed your head multiple times. it just felt so natural, so you didn’t say anything and let him do it. taesan turned you around and mindlessly fixed your outfit—smoothning it out and helping you with your collar once and for all. “thank you, sannie” you whispered, making him smile. you turned around again and embraced his hand in yours.
kim leehan ♡s thigh kisses
this sounds really shocking, but truly hear me out. leehan likes any kiss in general, he will smother you in thousands of kisses. but something so intimate about kissing your thighs—it drives him wild. it isn’t even inherently sexual either, he just loves it when you let him kiss your thighs as it’s super rare for you to let him do it. he obviously cherishes the moment in his heart. ♡
a random show was playing as filler noise as you laid in your bed with leehan, scrolling through your phone as you wrapped your body around him. you turned your phone off after a bit of usage and placed it on your dresser. you turned to face your boyfriend again and smiled. leehan stared at you, his eyes lazy from sleep trying to take him. “ihan, you’re so cute” you muttered, kissing his nose. he giggled softly before yawning. you squeezed him with all of your strength. “you give me such bad cuteness aggression, what is your secret” you hummed, tracing your finger down his chest. “i’m not sure,” he whispered. you continued to squeeze him, the both of your bodies moving around in the bed. you finally let go after a bit and your leg was over his neck. “you’re crushing me with your leggg” he whined, moving you closer to him, making your thigh rest over his face. “and this isn’t crushing you?” you scoffed jokingly, shaking your head as a smug smile rested on his lips. without a word, a kiss landed on the back of your thigh, making you giggle. “do it again,” you laughed, and he complied, kissing you over and over again.
kim woonhak ♡s lip kisses
he’s new to relationships and very inexperienced when it comes to those kind of things. so, to keep it simple in his mind he just sticks to kissing your lips. besides, his lips are so kissable. who wouldn’t kiss him!? it could be cute pecks to making out with him, it doesn’t matter to him. as long as you kissed him he doesn’t care about anything else in the world. ♡
you sat on the bleachers as you watched woonhak play basketball, eyes glued onto him as he ran across the court, chasing the ball and trying his hardest to steal it from his opponent. you videoed him on your phone and tried your hardest to capture all the good moments of the match. as it reached the final minutes of the game and his team winning, you knew it was going to be alright. in a flash, woonhak stole the ball from the guy and ran to their net, “YES WOONHAK RUN!!!!!” you screamed, standing up and shouting at him to shoot. in no one’s surprise he shoots and scores, ending the game and winning for the team. you ran down the bleachers and without a doubt, woonhak ran over to you and hugged you, kissing you and squeezing your body with his. “i’m so freaking happy for you!” you cheered, making him smile like a dork. you kissed him once again and hugged him.
tags: based off of sanriwooz in the 'home' film essay, fluff, hurt/comfort, tiny bit of angst, best friends to ?, taesan's real name is used
warnings: mentions of sickness (unspecified), emotional distress, overworking, not eating; reader is in the hospital; self-deprecating thoughts
a/n: i loved the film essay dearly, it had so much fanfic material 😮💨 taesan and riwoo's scenes were soooooo asdfjshfk i had to write something about it. also i've very much been in a taesan mood lately :> this is only semi-edited, so idrk if it's any good, but hope you enjoy! <3
♫ this side of paradise - coyote theory | call me - boynextdoor
you've been staring at the blank, off-white wall for a very long time. too long, in fact, that the cracks between the linoleum have started to look like they're alive and actively spreading and it feels like it's your brain that's cracking in half.
an hour ago—more or less, you've lost track at this point—you had been staring at the ceiling fan instead. its measured, monotone spinning seemed comforting at first, almost soothing you to sleep like a soundless lullaby, but then you remembered that every attempt to sleep only led to horrid nightmares that had you jolting up with tears streaming down your face.
so you didn't sleep. and now, the four sterile corners of the hospital are taking its turn at driving you insane.
you inhale deeply, letting your breath completely fill your lungs, feeling the expanse of your chest before letting it out slowly in a sigh—one laced with the fatigue and hopelessness that's been familiar for as long as you've known.
you've reached your breaking point—that's why you're here now. exhausted; overworked to the point of collapse. too many things to do and not enough time to do them. a brain that's so crowded with taunting "what if"s and the impending doom of the future and a heart squeezed dry of every emotion you could possibly feel.
it's been a lot, all at once.
so, for nearly a week now, you've been stuck in a bed tucked in the corner of a hospital ward, with two nurses and a doctor hovering over you day in and day out. checking your vitals, giving you medicine, bringing you meals and reminding you to actually eat them. they tell you to do things you never end up doing.
it was strange at first. you're not used to the attention—hell, you barely gave yourself attention to the point you got sick—and you don't know exactly what to do with it.
you've always been in the shadows; a silent soul just drifting past, and prefer to keep it that way. no one really pays you any mind, and you're okay with it. a truth, an unspoken rule you've long accepted.
but for one exception.
han dongmin.
a strange boy, one you've known for much longer than you expected. your neighbor of ten years and your best friend of eight. though, you still reluctantly call him that while he thinks it's his best title achieved. there's a disparity in the way you view your dynamics, but if there's one thing you're both sure of, it's that he cares about you. a lot. annoyingly and stubbornly a lot.
while everyone around you seems dead set on ignoring your existence; in dongmin's eyes, you're the only person he sees. his world revolves around you, whether he knows it or not, and whatever he does is for you and about you. he's always stuck to your side; he knows you inside and out; he's there at your every beck and call and takes care of you before you ask for it, even when you don't ask for it. you don't know whether to feel flattered or concerned at this point. you're grateful for him, though.
no one has seen you the way dongmin does.
the curtain beside you rattles as someone pushes it aside. you look up, eyes half-lidded, expecting the nurse to show up for her nightly rounds. a head of tousled black hair and a lazy smirk greets you instead.
"hey. you look like shit."
"thanks, dongmin. you've called me worse." dongmin stands at the edge of your bed, clad in his signature black hoodie and work vest. one hand tucked in his pocket, the other clutched around a plastic bag that looks suspiciously like it holds pizza boxes. he looks like he's just come from a late delivery shift. you immediately feel bad.
"what are you doing here? it's late," he nudges at your knee and you shuffle to make space for him. "i told you not to come visit when it's late."
"and when have i ever listened to you, hm?" the smirk on his face widens into the grin he has when he knows he's won over you, but quickly softens into something more gentle.
"pizza?" he lifts the plastic bag. you shake your head. "no, i already ate. the nurse was going to smack me upright in the head if i didn't eat dinner earlier. thank you, though."
dongmin pouts. "you like the hospital food that tastes like cardboard over the pizza that i specifically ordered for you in the way you like it?"
"don't say it like that. now i feel bad."
he chuckles, all fond around the edges. "of course you do. that's why i'm saying it."
there's a lull when you get too tired to continue the conversation, closing your eyes for a brief moment. you can hear dongmin rustling around, taking off his vest and placing the pizza on your bedside table.
you smile at the way he knows you don't like silence and is filling it in small ways.
"today was bad. again."
"worse?"
"yeah."
"how?"
you open your eyes. dongmin sits closer than before, leaning over you with the concern you always see on his face. he's been looking like this more often these days, ever since you were hospitalized, and you hate seeing him like this. he used to always smile around you. you miss it.
"i.. i don't know. it's just— it feels bad. i feel bad. somehow more terrible than yesterday and it just keeps getting worse. i don't know how to stop it. i don't know what to do with it, dongmin."
"the nurses say that i just need food and sunlight, or whatever. real sunlight. i need to get out of this bed and this ward and this hospital. i tell them i don't want to. i can't. i don't know how to explain it, but i just can't."
you sigh. there's really no way you can explain it. how can you explain that your sickness feels more like it's stuck inside of you—deep, deep inside you—rather than it being a physical ailment? that the reason you're here is just a physical manifestation of the turmoil that's been boiling and burning underneath your skin? how can you tell him when you yourself don't understand what's going on with you?
a hand lands on your cheek. warmth spreads from dongmin's fingertips to your clammy skin; you find yourself leaning into it like you're desperate for it. he holds you tighter.
"i'm sorry. for being a bum."
"you're not a bum. well, maybe you are, sometimes, but you're my bum. that's okay."
dongmin gives you that smile—the one that crinkles his eyes and shows all his teeth. he looks like a kid. he looks like the kid who used to push you on the swings and gave you three out of five of his snacks. the smile you love the most.
now you're smiling too. small, but there.
"okay, bum. if you're not going to eat the pizza i bought you, would you at least accompany your best friend on a ride to soothe his hurt feelings?"
"do you really want me to eat the pizza?" you huff fondly.
"no, i want you to go on a ride with me. please?"
you don't really feel like going anywhere, wanting to just sink deeper into your pillows and drift off, but dongmin pulls out his ultimate trump card—innocent, pleading puppy eyes and a soft pout—that he knows you're weak against and you instantly cave in. damn him.
"fine."
"thank you, honey."
dongmin's spare helmet is two sizes too big for your head. even when you've fastened it as tightly as you can underneath your chin, it slips with every bump on the road, rendering it somewhat useless as a safety tool. so, instead of trying helplessly to keep it on, you opt for wrapping your arms tightly around dongmin's waist, lest you fall off from how fast he's driving.
"your helmet is too big," you yell in his ear over the roar of the wind.
"your head is too small," he chucks back. even if he's not looking at you, you can already picture the shit-eating grin he has plastered across his face.
"you're driving too fast."
"fast is good. helps clear your mind. does your mind feel clearer?"
"it's screaming at you to slow down."
dongmin laughs, the sound loud and sweet. for your sake, he slows down a little.
looking around, the city glows in bright, blurry technicolor. you don't really know where you are anymore; you lost track after the fifth turn dongmin took a while back. the warm orange of passing streetlights bleed into neon red, blue, and green signs; the occasional car rushing by washing you in red. there's undoubtedly more to see than your plain old walls back at the hospital, and, after being cooped up in there for days, it's all a bit too much to take in.
"you okay?"
there it is again. dongmin, somehow, just knows instantly when something's wrong.
"i'm okay. the lights are a little overwhelming, is all."
"do you want to stop?"
"no. keep going."
dongmin takes a turn at a stoplight. the road starts to incline, and you assume you're entering one of the quieter neighborhoods some ways away from the city. you drive up, up, up, the bright chaos of lights dulling down to the dim glow of porch lights in front of houses and the stars in the sky.
when you've reached what seems to be the top, dongmin stops. he parks his motorcycle, taps you on the leg to get off, and pulls off his helmet. his hair clings to his forehead, sweat dripping down his neck, but the smile he gives you is blinding. "that was fun."
you smile back. "sure was."
you reach up with your sleeve, tapping at his neck to dry his sweat off. he catches your wrist before you can pull away when you finish and pulls you along with him.
you're still somewhere in the city, but your surroundings are unfamiliar to you. dongmin looks at ease, though, so you assume he's been here before.
the cliff you're standing on is high enough that the buildings below look more like miniature glow-sticks, shining even in the dead of night. the hustle and bustle of cars and people, while far-away, can still be heard from way up where you are. the city never sleeps.
dongmin leans against the railing, breathes out a sigh. "it's nice up here."
"quiet. away from everything else."
you look at him. really look. the wind tousles his hair in a way that still makes him look perfect. his face is peaceful, content. not a trace of the worry he looked at you with back in the hospital. this is the dongmin that you’re used to; that you love.
he catches you staring and stares right back. "what's on your mind, sweetheart?"
sweetheart. honey. your best friend's always had a knack for nicknames. you've never admitted how warm it makes you feel inside.
"nothing much. you look... comfortable. do you come up here often?"
dongmin makes a face at you. "first of all, that's a lie. you always have something on your mind, i know it. and b: yes, i do come up here a lot. usually after late shifts, when i need to take a breather, or when woonhak is still up at three am yelling unoriginal insults at nobodies in his games. annoying little shit."
you snicker softly at the thought. dongmin's younger roommate, woonhak, is always a popular character in his stories. while you've only met him a handful of times in person, it feels like you know him as well as your best friend at this point. he seems like an interesting guy. chaotic, but interesting.
"you know, i'd offer to be your roommate, but we're already neighbors so... it wouldn't make that much of a difference, would it? you'd still be able to hear woonhak through the paper-thin walls."
"hm, i don't care. let me move in with you. woonhak can have the place all to himself if he keeps screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night. plus, you're cleaner than he is."
you laugh louder this time.
it's so easy for dongmin. so easy for him to make you laugh, unabashedly, with all the things he says. for him to come to you late at night even if he's already tired from working all day. for him to look at you and just understand you; to feel what you feel. it kind of frustrates you—it's so easy for him to do anything for you.
you don't understand why he keeps up with it. surely, you don't deserve his kindness. even if you tried, you can't compare to him. you can't give him back the same effort that he gives you, let alone tenfold of it. he deserves it—he deserves to be loved, cared for, in ways you can't try to.
and yet.
he's never asked for anything in return.
"dongmin."
he hums, turning to look at you. even in the darkness you can see the bags under his eyes. the tiredness etched into the lines of his face; the way his shoulders droop from the exhaustion of a long work day.
but he's watching you like he doesn't want to be anywhere else.
"thank you for coming tonight. i needed..." you hesitate for a breath, "... i needed you."
he nods. "i know."
"i'm sorry."
"... why?"
"because i don't deserve it."
dongmin huffs, and suddenly he's standing in front of you. he plants his hands against the railing you're leaning on, trapping you between his arms. there's a crease between his brows as he frowns, one you want to smooth out because the expression doesn't suit him.
"y/n. don't say that. don't be sorry. you should never be, not to me."
"i do this because i want to. because i care about you. i come to you because you're my best friend and i like being with you. even if you deserve it or not, i want to."
"and right now, you're sick, and i want to more than ever. i want you to be better, so i do everything i can to help you. so don't feel sorry. it's not your fault."
you don't say anything back. you can't, not with your heart stuck in your throat and tears threatening to spill past your lashes. dongmin talks as if he's explaining a simple truth; a fact universally accepted that it's difficult to not believe it. it's hard for you still. to truly understand how much space you take up in his heart. how he freely lets you stay there.
you look down at your feet, avoiding his gaze for fear that the longer you look at him, the more you'll cry. he's seen you cry before, of course, but it never gets less embarrassing.
"hey, sweetheart. look at me."
big palms come to cup your tear-stained cheeks, thumbs caressing with a gentleness that makes you melt. you can't help it, not when he's being tender like this.
you fall into dongmin's arms, winding your own tightly around his waist and burying your face into his hoodie. his scent is everything familiar—the dollar store laundry detergent he always buys, the cologne he's been using since high school, and something so unabashedly him. warm. safe.
he hugs you close, enveloping you completely. "i've got you, y/n. i always have. i always will."
he seals his promise with a soft kiss pressed to your forehead.
you're folding your blanket neatly at the edge of your bed when the nurse walks in.
"you've packed up everything, dear?" she asks you. you look up at her, returning her warm smile with a grateful one. "mhm. just fixing up the sheets and stuff."
she tuts. "oh, don't you worry about that. we'll take care of it." she flips through a clipboard nestled in the crook of her arm. "well, we've run the last couple of tests on you and your results are all normal. you're good to go, dear."
"thank you for taking care of me. i know i haven't been... the most obedient patient..."
the nurse chuckles goodheartedly. "that you weren't. but i'm glad you're better now. we all are."
you place the blanket on top of your pillows, now straightened and spotless, and take one last, long look at the hospital bed you resided in for the past week and a half. the shabby but almost cozy corner of the ward that became both your enemy and your friend. the walls you bore imaginary holes into and the ceiling fan that lulled you to sleep almost every night. now that it's all familiar, it's time to leave.
you're glad to leave.
once you've collected all your belongings and sorted out things at the front desk, you make your way outside of the hospital.
the early afternoon sun burns bright, heat instantly seeping through your skin and warming you all over. but you're not too opposed to it. it's more than welcome, in fact. you've missed it.
"hey, bum." you've barely turned towards the voice before someone suspiciously shaped like your best friend comes barreling into you, almost knocking you over.
"ow— han dongmin! you're so heavy!"
"okay, ouch. i haven't seen you in forever and that's how you greet me?"
"more like three days, but, whatever."
dongmin pouts like a child and you laugh in his face.
"how are you feeling?" he brings a hand to your face, palm cool against your heated cheek. you lean into his hand, turning slightly to press your lips to his fingers. "better."
"because of me?" he grins impishly; your heart skips a beat.
"it has nothing to do with you, bum." except it kind of does.
dongmin knows because of course he does. he's great like that. his smile melts into something soft and fond. his hand snakes down your neck, your arm, reaching your hand and fingers curling into yours tightly like he never wants to let go.
"sure, honey. whatever you say."
a/n: wow this one is looong! i honestly didn't expect it to get this long bc i was just writing purely based off of vibes, but i had fun! <33 hope i get to write more like this soon ^__^
may i request bonedo's reactions when reader gets cuteness aggression over them please
i hv a feeling youve written smth similar but my brain is fried today 😭
travelled for 8 hours in this godforsaken cold today and now im on s4 of stranger things and the new sem starts tmrw im dying here
⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ CUTENESS AGGRESSION 🧸ྀི - word count varies 92-118 per member
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ note ! hehe thanku for the req i hope u like it <3 i hope itll make your day a lil better!!! get somewhere warm asap we dont want u to catch a cold!!!! <3
@kstrucknet ˙ . ꒷ . 𖦹˙—div by @uzmacchiato
┆彡 JAEHYUN [ 재현 ]
he senses it coming 99% of the time
you just stare at him before you attack… as in, cup his cheeks and squeal and absolutely bombard his face with kisses
you're all shaky and buzzed before and he just braces himself
but he never complains, oh no. he loves it so much:(
at first he was confused but now that he's used to it… he kinda realized he gets cuteness agression over you and his members as well so it's totally understandable why you feel it
and is there a better feeling than having your lips smother him in kisses? what else can he do other than giggle and enjoy every single moment <3
┆彡 SUNGHO [ 성호 ]
confused cat :<
the first time it happened he was bewildered, eyes wide and face reddening,,, even escaping your hold!!!
but once when he was home at simba was sleeping so cutely… and he just couldn't help himself but smother him with kisses… something clicked
and the next time you squished his cheeks while giggling, he just accepted it, leaning into your touch
(even took you by surprise and leaned in to kiss you out of the blue hehe)
he began to secretly love your cuteness aggression attacks but shhh, it's a secret!
┆彡 TAESAN [ 태산 ]
kitty pt2
at first he's flabbergasted but accepts it
like okay sure you're squeezing the life out of him and giggling into his ear but your hands and lips are on his face so <3
but then… he's an evil kitty >:(
once he senses what you're up to, he WILL try to escape
writhes and wiggles out of your grasp, whining and pouting like a baby, playfully smacks your hands away and just teases!!!
lives for the way it turns around: you get pouty and lean away… only for him to attack you back
┆彡 LEEHAN [ 이한 ]
don't save him, he's exactly where he wants to be.
always reacts pretty much the same: at first freezes completely and stops what he's doing, eyes wide and lips pursed into a straight line. watches you with bug eyes.
then slowly, with each kiss, pinch on his cheek, or giggle, his smile grows bigger and bigger with his eyes turning into crescents
loves it so much
doesn't really get it, though. he's just… sitting… not doing anything, really
but again, adores it. to the point that sometimes he tries to mentally send you mind waves that he wants to be smothered by you :( staring or blinking… but still not quite brave enough to word it. maybe one day!
┆彡 RIWOO [ 리우 ]
pretends to hate it. ever runs away sometimes, grunting and huffing like you just committed a crime… offended and outraged !!
how dare you think he's cute ?! >:(
but it just makes it worse, he's pouting and looks even cuter!!!!!!
and when you catch him, he gives up and melts into the couch or whatever
furniture that's nearby and just grumpily lets you do your thing
and he could've fooled anyone, with how annoyed he looks
buuuuuut not you!
his red ears give away him and the fact that he's emjoying it as much as you do <3
┆彡 WOONHAK [ 운학 ]
it's a risky game to play with him
because one second you're having cuteness aggression over him, blowing raspberries on his cheeks and pecking his lips repeatedly
and he's giggling and laughing and allowing you to do literally everything
and another second passes and suddenly it's like a switch flipped, he's the one smothering you in kisses while you laugh your ass off because it's ticklish!!!!
will literally play a uno reverse card,,, if you will. and the thing is you never realize when does it happen, it's just poof and he's the one 'attacking' you
he's just happy to be there, honestly :") cant stop giggling excitedly as he pampers your face with kisses<3
syn: Quidditch is a game of speed, strategy, and skill—and you’ll be the captain that leads your team to victory. Even if it means you have to now fraternize with the enemy house—and worst of all—with the snarky Gryffindor captain who you can’t wait to send a Bludger at. 𓇢𓆸 w.c: 12.1k
genre: hogwarts!au, e2l, fluff, secret friendship, slowburn, sports
t.w: mild profanity, lots of making out 👀 𓂃𓈒 𓇢𓆸 ft. zb1, ive, lsf, txt, p1h members
a/n: this is part 2 of jaehyun's installment. check out the rest of the series below!
𓂃𓈒 for my junebug @mwotgata, who knows my y/n better than i do now <33
book [3] of the signed, sealed, spellbound series!
── .✦ read PART 1 before proceeding!
Hogwarts Hospital Wing - Winter Break
The ceiling is glowing white when he finally comes to.
“Wha—” His head swims as he slowly pries his eyes open, heavy and bleary. It feels as though someone had knocked him out with a dragon tranquilizer. “Where am I?”
“Jaehyun?”
The voice that calls him sounds further than it should be, familiar but not.
It’s yours—he’s certain—but he can’t imagine a world where you’d ever say his first name…and without the usual venom.
He must be dead.
“Jae—”
“Let the poor boy rest, Miss L/N,” Madam Kang approaches with a tray of vials, each steaming a different neon colour. “He’s been asleep for an entire day, it’ll be a while before he can regain strength.”
The matron places it on the side-table, pushing his precious Thunderbolt VII out of the way, letting the broomstick fall to the floor ungracefully. Jaehyun feels the urge to protest, or at least reach for it—but the matron is already fussing over his injuries, tipping a healing potion into his mouth and patting him back onto the sheets, propping his casted leg up on a pillow.
She narrows her eyes as she makes sure he drinks every one of the vials, making him gulp down the awful liquid in nervous obedience. It goes down more painfully than the sharp throb in his leg.
“Make sure he doesn’t wander off, this boy has a habit of ignoring medical advice,” she says to you before sauntering off towards the room adjacent to the hospital wing.
Jaehyun sighs, watching her disappear behind the door.
“You’re not dead.”
He cranes his neck to see you stare at him—arm in a sling, sitting upright on the bed opposite him.
“...Yeah.”
“You broke your leg,” you say, voice pinched, “Might hurt while the Skele-Grow takes effect… “
“Oh,” Jaehyun purses his lips, eyes drawn to your injured arm. “What about you?”
“Hmm?”
“Your—” He tilts his jaw to point at your sling. “Your arm… is it hurt?”
He doesn’t realise the stupidity of his words immediately. Of course you’re hurt, why else would it be wrapped up and slung around your neck. Jaehyun expects you to blow up in his face, to call him an idiot and march off to the furthest bed you could.
But you don’t.
Instead, you just say, “Nothing too bad, should be fine soon enough.”
He’s never been this awkward around you. To say the atmosphere was civil would be the understatement of the century; instead, it’s tense in a way different from your in-game rivalry.
The sound of the clock ticking by feels like his insides being wrung like a towel; the lights feel too bright, his leg feels too heavy, and his breaths way too loud. Every time he glances sideways, you’re either twiddling with your uninjured hand like you don’t know what to do with it, or you’re staring longingly out the window.
Jaehyun feels it too—the itch to get back to practice.
At first, it’s a couple of hours. Then, a whole night—you toss and turn, grumbling in your sleep like you were having nightmares. He’s no better, staring straight up at the ceiling as though it could swallow him whole.
He even ponders jumping out the window on his broom and heading straight for Quidditch pitch.
There’s not much to look at other than four white walls, an unremarkable wooden door, and a couple holiday decorations that seems to have been magicked into places: a festive wreath in front of Madam Kang’s quarters, a little christmas tree hung with painted pinecones and shiny baubles, and streams of tinsel strewn here and there.
Neither of you converse unless it’s to remind each other to take your healing potions, or sometimes when he needs help with sitting up against the bed. There are no visitors other than the matron’s occasional inspections—just Jaehyun, you, and the soft snowfall out through the frosty windowpanes.
“How much longer did she say?” he whispers out on one chilly evening, head squished against a fluffy white pillow.
You barely spare him a glance, trying to flip the page of your book over your tucked-in knees. “A week at least. You broke a lot in there.” You gesture vaguely at his body.
“Right,” Jaehyun grumbles. “I’m gonna lose so much muscle mass after this.”
You scoff on instinct. “Not like you had any to begin with.”
It doesn’t mean to come out as an insult, not after days of uncomfortable silence.
But surprisingly, something inside of Jaehyun settles in relief at the familiarity. “You say that and then gawk at my legs during a game. No wonder you don’t hit straight.”
The response is immediate—your eyes flash open, lips curling downward into an angry frown, hands gripping at your worn out copy of Quidditch Through the Ages as though you were about to swing it at his face.
Jaehyun can’t help but smile at how less intimidating you look when you’re not thirty feet up in the air and sporting all four working limbs. Like a baby bird attempting to peck but without any real aggression.
“You wouldn’t waste your precious book on me of all people.” He quips knowingly, managing to sound cocky even with a pathetic cast on his leg.
And he’s right on the nose; you narrow your eyes, click your tongue in disapproval, and then lower your book back to your lap.
It’s the first taste of normalcy he’s had in days.
Jaehyun sleeps with ease that night, quietly admitting to himself that maybe, being stuck with you in the hospital wing during the holidays wasn't the worst thing to happen to him after all.
── 𓇢𓆸
“Hold still,” you reprimand unintelligibly, leaning over his cast to slide the marker across it, the cap hanging between your teeth.
“I can’t even move, dude,” Jaehyun sighs, watching the way you doodle a wonky lion on him, adding tiny horns and a moustache for flair. “That is the ugliest thing I’ve ever had the misfortune to see…” He grimaces. “—and I’ve seen you on your bad days.”
You sneer at him, looking every bit as comical as he hopes you do when he makes you mad on purpose.
“You’re not exactly Picasso to be talking a big game,” You spit the cap out and lift your sling—decorated with tweety birds, and a very elaborate, structurally accurate diagram of a Firebolt. “Can’t believe we’re stuck here during Christmas, drawing on each other’s broken limbs.”
“Did you have other plans?” He raises a brow.
“Quidditch, duh,” you state the obvious, watching him nod in agreement. “Match is in two months and I’m not even allowed to use a bat yet.”
“Well,” Jaehyun motions for you to pass the marker to him and scooch closer. “It could be worse. We could have been muggles and have had to get our bones mended their way—and that could take ages.”
“What do you know about muggle medicine?”
“More than you,” He starts to draw stars and snowflakes onto the fabric over your arm. “My mom’s a doctor—a muggle healer. I used to break my bones all the time.”
“...Doing what? Crawling?”
“Playing,” he corrects with a roll of his eye, tongue peeking out as he concentrates on his doodles. “She says I could never sit still as a kid. So she put me into every sport out there—little league baseball, football, archery—”
“They gave you a bow and arrow?”
“I quit after a week because I accidentally pricked my instructor with it.”
“Ah, that’s more like the Myung Jaehyun I know.” You snicker.
The room has started to smell less like polyester and detergent, and more like Christmas. There’re two cups of cocoa on the side-table—courtesy of Madam Kang—balanced atop a mountain of Quidditch guides and biographies. The tinsel on the tree has multiplied somehow; there’s snow capping the windowsills, wrens and doves making the occasional visit.
You miss playing Quidditch. But to make up for it, you’ve resorted to transferring your personal library to the hospital wing, the stack of books building by the day.
At some point, Jaehyun lets out a bored sigh, and you non-verbally pass him a copy of Flying with the Cannons, if only to shut him up.
“How did you know I’m going to join the Chudley Cannons!?” His face lights up like the tree in the corner of the room. “Don’t tell me you’re a prophet…?”
“Myung…you and I both almost failed Divination in our fifth year.”
“Oh, yeah.” He grins wistfully at the memory. “Honestly, I thought she failed us because you kept attacking me with your teacup.”
“Like you didn’t keep predicting my imminent doom on your crystal ball.” You squint at your book, confused at a particular sentence. “What does this mean—’bristles aid wind direction; the more streamlined the better’ ?”
“Hmm…think of it like birds’ feathers—” Jaehyun lays his own book flat on his chest, bookmarking his page. “—they basically smoothen the path of wind. The more lightweight, the better for flight. Seekers need to maneuver a lot, so we’d avoid heavier woods, like oak.”
“Oh… Beaters prefer the heavier kind. But it sucks when you have to speed after targets.”
“Your speed is fine,” he offers without a hint of deceit, “It’s the hesitance you need to focus on. You do this thing where you just…stop.”
Your brows knit together. “Huh?”
“It’s like you’re trying to recollect what you’ve read…I can see it in your eye before you swing your bat—you waste so much time on thinking.”
“...” You feel like you’ve been peeled open and cut into two perfect cross-sections. “I don’t—”
The rest never make it past your lips; you know you’d be lying if it did.
“You worry too much too,” he continues, “makes you lose momentum. And, you don’t get to show off how skilled of a player you actually are.”
The compliment is thrown so casually as though he is merely commenting on the weather. Not like it’s a monumental milestone in your, mostly sour, age-old relationship.
“...Thanks,” you finally say, still a bit dubious. “You’re…uh… You fly well, I guess.”
Jaehyun snorts at your poor attempt at praise. “Thanks? That’s nice of you… I guess.”
“You don’t think enough up in the air or on the ground,” you huff, “but your muscle memory is impeccable. I can tell you to work hard at it.”
This time, he smiles, meaning it.
When you let yourself sink into the comfort of simply being next to him— without the biting remarks or scalding anger to burn you—you find that it’s not as strange as you’d imagine it to be.
“Hey,” Jaehyun whispers, eyes tracking the blinking Christmas lights in the distance, the smile still etched onto his lips—as though he’s dipping his toes into uncharted waters.
You turn your head, sneaking a peak at his face. He’s quiet, eyes soft around the corners, gaze unfocussed.
“You know…” he begins teasingly, “you don’t need to stay. I heard the matron saying she dismissed you last week.”
Your stomach does a swoop—fluttering, squeezing around itself like you just ate something bad. You feel sick.
“I… She—” A gulp travels down your dry throat. “...I just needed to make sure I’m fully recovered.”
Jaehyun turns his head, lips stretching.
“Did I make you cry when I was knocked out?” He tosses you a lopsided grin, tilting his head playfully. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
You suck in a sharp breath, heart squeezing in a way you didn’t think hearts could. Jaehyun has that glint in his eyes—not unlike the one he wore when he quipped between practices, or circled around you like a menacing cat. But there’s something else there too…
A curiosity.
“I—” You clear your throat, sinking deeper into your scarf in a foolish attempt to tame the heat on your cheeks. “I wasn’t worried.”
“Not what I asked.” He smiles, softer this time. “I heard you, you know—saying my name.”
Your cheeks are now scalding hot to the touch, every inch of you aflame in mortification.
It had been a mistake. You weren’t thinking… You certainly weren’t worried about the loser. Why would you be? He’s brash, he has horrible manners, he teases you, he embarrasses you, he…
He did save you.
Before you can come up with a justification to why you didn’t outright hate him for a split second while he was out like a light, Jaehyun is already changing the topic, complaining about the annotations you’ve filled into the book in his hand. “Such a nerd,” he murmurs, but still keeps reading—an annoying smirk plastered onto his face.
You groan. But in the private crevices of your mind, you can admit the relief you feel when he doesn’t bring up the subject again.
“Why is your common room so far away, ugh,” you grunt, testing out your newly healed arm with a roll of the bones.
“Sweetheart, if you stopped complaining for one second, we’d already be here.”
Jaehyun has a slight limp to his steps, but Madam Kang had reluctantly let him leave the hospital wing—after several shameless bats of his lashes, and a long speech you’d prepared, listing all the reasons why the white walls would only slow down his recovery and how much more infuriating he had been getting in bed confinement.
After all, it was Christmas eve tonight.
“This is ridiculous,” you say as you follow after him, stepping through the hole behind the painting on the wall.
He snickers at your whining, and stops abruptly so that he purposely makes you bump your head right into his back.
“God, you are so—”
“Charming?” He swivels around.
“—Pesky.” You poke his forehead to push him out of the way. “Why did you even bring me to his hellhole?”
“Because it’s almost Christmas, and also because you haven’t let me show you my blueprints in exchange for me listening to you go on and on and on about the history of Quidd—”
“Shut it.”
The first thing you smell when you move forward is the fire—inviting and gentle on your nose. The first thing you see is red; it almost sends you into a panic-induced coma.
But your eyes adjust to the red in increments, slowly turning less aggressive in your mind.
And you can acknowledge one thing: Gryffindor tower is the right opposite of yours; almost everything is gold or crimson, rustic in a way it makes you feel warm all over. Cosy.
Jaehyun wastes no time before he flops onto the couch, stretching as though he was making a snow angel against the fabric.
The place looks lived-in—evidence of friendship and family stretching from wall to wall: half finished board games, party hats strewn under the table, a festive poster someone has stuck to the bulletin. There’s a tree beside the window, glittering in reds and yellows—snowflakes spiralling down outside.
You linger at the scarlet tapestries on the wall, the lion motifs adorning the sides—then you trace your hands over the bookcase in reverent awe.
It’s…beautiful.
Of course, you’d be lying to say it isn’t. It’s not home to you—not like the Ravenclaw common room—but you can imagine Jaehyun growing up here, spending his days lazing around and surrounded by his friends. There’s love lingering in every corner.
“Come here,” Jaehyun waves you over, having planted himself on the carpet near the coffee table at some point along your assessment of the room. “This is a Nimbus 1000; you’re already familiar with it—” He smoothes out a large glossy blue diagram, with chalk and scales overlaying it.
Of course you were familiar; it was your first-ever broomstick your dad bought you.
You sit next to him, leaning over as he pushes it towards you.
“See the handle and how it's curved over here—that’s to reduce air drag,” he points out, bringing your finger to the drawing.
It’s slightly smudged, as though he had pressed his fist across it while sketching it down—or fallen asleep late into the night, cheeks against the paper. It’s a surprisingly fond image.
“And,” he continues, delving into the intricacies of broom aerodynamics. “see this—that’s to help with turning 360 degrees mid-flight. An old but reliable model.”
“Who knew you could read, Myung?” You quip, an insult too shallow to hurt. “So this is what you’re off doing instead of completing your Charms homework.”
“Says the girl who spends the class taking down Quidditch notes instead of practicing spells.”
“Thought you didn’t see me as a girl,” you wiggle your eyebrows, finding yourself relaxing a little.
He pauses to look at you—then grunts away a response.
For the first time in a very long time, you don’t worry. When he finishes showing you his collection of blueprints and miniature broom models, you settle into comfortable company; you read out loud your favourite passages from Quidditch Through the Ages as he works on another sketch—nodding along to your words with a question here and there.
Time quietly slips away; the world hangs its head as the hour hand walks its way to twelve. A cuckoo pops out to announce Christmas day.
Jaehyun’s eyes are half open, head tossed back against the couch cushion. You’ve accidentally come to rest your side against his, fingertips a hair’s breadth away from his.
“Y/N,” he murmurs, dazed.
You aren’t any better. “Hmm?”
“Merry… Merry Christmas."
Maybe it registers in your mind, maybe it doesn’t. Nonetheless, a smile shows itself.
“Merry Christmas,” You don’t even hear your own voice, eyes drooping closed, “Jaehyun.”
Christmas arrives, and you aren’t alone for the night.
── 𓇢𓆸
Gryffindor common room - Christmas
“When I said let’s get food—” you huff, teetering on your heels. “—I didn’t mean the entire kitchen, Myung.”
“God forbid a man likes pastry,” he pouts through a cheekful of tart, barely balancing a mountain of plates in his hand, almost dropping an entire bowl of mini candy canes onto the plush red carpet.
“The man needs to stop talking while he eats,” you frown in disgust, swerving out of the way before he sprays crumbs onto you.
Morning light spills through the open window. It’s chilly, but the roaring fire and woollen clothes keep you warm. There’s a light trill of birds over someone humming carols from the grounds below.
You and Jaehyun spend the entire morning and afternoon digging into as many delicacies as you can, and as quickly as your tummy allows. Being athletes called for a strict control over overindulgence—or at least for those of you who actually kept to it.
But today is an exception—you get to stuff yourself to your heart’s content.
Cupcake wrappers litter the coffee table, pavlova cream smeared at plate edges. The jars of what used to contain eggnog sits empty. The fruit cake is demolished.
Jaehyun lies spread-eagle on the floor, patting his belly.
You would chide him for being so ungraceful—had you not been in the exact same situation.
“I regret everything, ugh. Why didn’t you stop me?” You can barely speak through the pain in your chest, eggnog swirling dangerously within your tummy.
“I did try,” Jaehyun grumbles. “You told me to go take a swan-dive off the Astronomy tower.”
You don’t refute.
It’s another minute before a lightbulb sparks alive on the top of your head—and he seems to have the same idea.
What better way to work out the kinks in your muscles, to let off steam and to truly enjoy Christmas to its maximum?
“Broomride?” you ask.
“Broomride.” he nods.
The sun is only beginning to descend—making the Great Lake shimmer at the surface. Jaehyun swoops above the water, grinning as the cold air nips at his skin, his red scarf whipping behind him as he speeds up.
You join him with the same enthusiasm, not hiding the smile that escapes you. Hogwarts feels so small from up here—nothing but one of Jaehyun’s miniature models, an ant among giants. It’s breathtaking. To fly after ages feels like having your first inhale of a breath after holding it in for so long.
When you finally come back down to earth, feet skidding against the gravel, the rush of flight hasn’t worn off yet.
“This is where you pushed me off from,” Jaehyun leans over the pier, looking down into the bottomless blue, where merpeople and squids resided in their own pockets of life.
“‘Push’ is a strong word,” you refute. “I prefer…‘gave you the nudge you needed.’”
“No wonder I choose to run before you can get me now,” he chuckles, skipping a stone over the gently cascading water.
You follow suit, trying to outdo him, but come up two steps too short. “You don’t run when it matters though…that’s the important bit.”
Jaehyun remains silent; he knows you’re hovering over things you want to say—too afraid to acknowledge the elephant in the room, wary of breathing things into existence where they need not be.
It must be the sunset softening your edges—because the words roll off your tongue as you watch the light bathe over the lake.
“You… saved me. You didn’t even think before you dived.”
Jaehyun’s eyes widen at your words.
Honestly, he never thought you’d mention it again. You aren’t the type to linger on guilt or pity—someone who worked through feelings with a book and a quill. And occasionally, a blackboard. He isn’t equipped to handle such a straightforward sentence out your mouth.
Jaehyun’s mouth is parted, words teetering between honesty and fear.
“Seeker’s instinct,” he finally says.
He’s not sure if he even believes it himself. There’s a truth there, but it’s not the entirety of it.
For a Gryffindor, he was every bit a coward as you regarded him to be, Jaehyun thinks.
You, however, nod—taking what he’s willing to offer, not demanding anything more.
Jaehyun wonders if you feel guilty for his broken leg. He nudges your shoulder with his own, keeping you rooted when you meet his eyes—with something more than just delicacy swimming underneath those brown flecks.
“It’s not your fault. I was the one who jumped before thinking,” he says softly, a hint of self-blame dancing around his assurance. “Don’t worry that head of yours, alright?” For good measure, he gently flicks your temple, earning a shove into his ribs.
Before he can fall off into the water once again, in a perfect replication of the incident from three years ago—you pull him back onto solid ground by the neck of his sweater, letting him lean his weight against you, his still weak leg swaying.
“Thanks,” you say.
‘For saving me, for the anonymous tips,...for being here, for going into a food coma with me, for flying with me all day,’ goes unsaid, but the warmth in your gaze conveys it all. He doesn’t pull away; you don’t let him.
For the first time in years, you can admit you may enjoy Myung Jaehyun’s company.
It turns out to be one of the nicest Christmases you’ve ever had.
Great hall - first day of Spring Term
”Park Gunwook, stop eating the chocolate! That’s for Y/N!” Liz smacks the taller boy’s hands, making him drop a handful of bonbons back into the silver case.
“Y/N-ie!!” She veers around him to throw herself against you—her own version of a hug. “I missed you!!”
“She did,” Gaeul appears behind her, grinning. “Wouldn’t shut up about it. My deaf Grandma had the worst three hours of her life trying to understand why she kept crying over home-made cookies.”
“The wonky one reminded me of Y/N,” Liz pouts, and you swing your hand back to punch her in the arm.
But you’re interrupted by the barrage of the rest of the Ravenclaws flooding in through the main doors—Ricky, Leeseo, and Kazuha all mid-chatter and heading straight for you. You take turns hugging them, letting Kazuha ruffle your hair.
“Had a good holiday? Or should I ask—had a good Quidditch vacay?” She pinches your cheeks.
“You could say that,” you mumble, but don’t elaborate when she throws you a questioning look.
It’s a miracle that you’re saved from Liz’s nosy interrogation—thankfully, she’s too distracted by Gunwook now choking on what should have been your present.
You watch them play around—returning to the welcoming dynamics of your friend-group—everyone settling comfortably back into the routine of awaiting classes, taking in the ceiling that was charmed to swirl snow onto the four long tables, watching as the other houses began to trickle in one after another.
Then you wonder if one of those red scarves is Jaehyun’s.
After Christmas, you had found a new sense of rhythm with him; more broomrides at night, a lot of discussions-turned-debates over flight moves and strategies… You even ended up showing him your most prized possession—your Quidditch notebook where you scratched down every fleeting thought and every observation you’ve ever made since the third year.
In return, he’d practiced day and night with you—helping you act quicker without thinking too hard, reminding you not to strain your arm when you swung with too much force.
New year’s rolled around, and nothing changed for the worse.
In fact, you even let yourself indulge in the gift-giving festivities: he now held onto your annotated copy of Flying with the Cannons—a note with his name and a haphazardly written ‘happy new year’ slipped into it. And you… You were now the (not) proud owner of a miniature model of Tweety bird on a broomstick.
“It’s a bird… Why the fuck does it need a broom?” You had asked, squinting at it in your palm.
Jaehyun had been undeterred, simply giggling when he’d said, “Can’t I be a little poetic, L/N?”
The memory is fond, feeling like an old story than from only a couple days ago. You’re trying to recollect your exact feeling of that moment when—
“Ah, stuffing your face as usual, I see,” Seok Matthew struts into view with a smirk, arms hidden in the depths of his trouser-pockets.
Gunwook sneers around his chocolate, “Fuck you, Seok.”
“Fuck me yourself, coward.” The Gryffindor taunts, his smirk only growing.
“Jerk!” Gunwook squeezes his fists, flaring his nostrils in what is supposed to be intimidation.
It’s three seconds away from what could be anything between a food fight and a fist fight, when a steady hand pulls Matthew back before Gunwook can ambush him.
“Hwan-” begins Kazuha, but she doesn’t finish when she realises that it isn’t the reliable vice captain that’s keeping them from decking each other. It’s—
“Myung,” you greet—softer than you should.
“L/N,” he responds, likewise.
“Y/N, let me at him,” Gunwook punches the air, trying to push past Kazuha. But you interject.
“Save that brawl for finals, we still need to get through one more match.” You say it casually, without dwelling on the meaning—but seven pairs of incredulous eyes whip around to stare at you.
“What?” You blink at them.
“...You’re…” Gunwook scrunches his brows together. “...stopping me from hitting him?”
You open your mouth, realise you have nothing fruitful to say—then close it at once.
To make matters worse, Jaehyun doesn’t jump in at the convenient gap with one of his usual taunts. Instead, he’s looking past everyone, straight at you—with an expression that toes the line between tenderness, and like he’s waiting to see what you’ll do next.
“I—” You gulp. “We’ll only lose house points if you injure him,” you say, turning towards Gunwook. “And I want you in perfect condition so we can beat these idiots.”
It seems to do the job—albeit just barely; Gunwook brightens up with newfound vigour, throwing a condescending look at Matthew for good measure. Liz joins in with a smirk and a covert middle finger pulled out of her robe’s pocket.
Jaehyun just…smiles.
“Alright,” he says simply—no malice, no hidden undertones.
His relaxed tone sends a shiver down everyone’s spine, including your own—Ricky prickling up like a frightened cat, Gunwook’s eyes going wide.
But Jaehyun is already walking off to the Gryffindor table with his arm around Matthew, who also seems to be just as confused at his captain’s sudden change in personality.
“Is he trying to scare us?!” Liz gasps, “What the actual fuck was that?”
“He’s just—” You grasp at the clay model inside your pocket—the bird on the broom. “—being infuriating again. Don’t mind it.”
Gunwook starts to refute, but you cut in before he can start digging your grave—
“We have a match to practice for, and we’re already behind compared to those Hufflepuffs. I better see a huge improvement in the next two months, or it's back to the drawing board.”
Everyone zips their lips at once, slowly deflecting back to conversations about homework and professors.
While the chatter builds and you begin to leave for your first class of the day, something new gnaws at your brain—not just the usual buzz of caffeine and Quidditch jargon.
Because now, you have another thorn in your side: the near-impossible task of keeping up appearances with your supposed enemy, Myung Jaehyun—who, you realise, you don’t seem to hate as much anymore.
── 𓇢𓆸
“I almost got that point,” Gyuvin complains, stopping in front of the Ravenclaw hoops.
”Not my fault you move like a snail,” Gaeul says simply, her nonchalance more cutting than any bite the rest of your team could manage.
It’s yet another joint practice—blue and red robes billowing in the damp January air, snowcapped towers and grounds existing beneath like the inside of a snow globe.
You’re tracking the movements of your team, mentally jotting down any details you might want to record for later. Kazuha is flying parallel to Ricky, receiving the Quaffle from him, cutting past Hanbin’s tricky ambush to head for the Gryffindor base.
She swings it into the central hoop, scoring another ten points.
At the next play, you aim your Bludger at Intak before he can do the same to Ricky, managing the strength to knock it into his torso and make him lose his grasp. The novelty of getting the six-foot player to concede fills your heart with satisfaction.
As though on instinct, you look for him—and find that Jaehyun is looking back at you, sporting a smile that clearly meant he was proud of you for not hesitating.
It becomes a routine—stolen glances, the accidental mid-air bumps that were less than unfriendly, the way he circles around you for absolutely no reason when he should be looking for the Snitch…
The routine, for lack of better words, carries into your daily lives.
Jaehyun quietly saves you a seat when you come in late for Charms—away from the prying eyes of your teams, private and safe. You talk—over a growing bundle of Quidditch books and blueprints, in the tucked-away corners of the lake where few wandered, over your carefully aligned trips to Professor Jeon’s office when he calls for the captains. Over nothing and everything.
“I’m telling you, let your Beaters aim for the knee if it’s Park Sunghoon—he loses balance every single time,” You tap the page of your play plan. “And if it’s Taesan, well…”
“I swear he’s got a thing for our Gryffindor prefect, dude,” Jaehyun insists.
The two of you sit side by side on a makeshift seat over the rocks overlooking the Great Lake, a shared notebook between you.
You respond in similar fervour, “Wait seriously? …that explains all the… staring.”
“He’s always bothering her with his pranks, though. She probably hates his guts.”
“Can you blame her? Childish pigtail-pulling only gets you so far.” You shake your head, disappointed in general at the male species. “Ugh, men.”
“Yeah?” Jaehyun’s voice is teasing, but slightly soft. “What would you suggest then?”
“Hmm?”
“If not pigtail pulling—” He waits for you to look his way before he finishes. “What would you suggest works?”
Your heart speeds without warning.
He’s wearing that look again—a hint of a lingering smile, the brown flecks in his dark eyes evident under the backdrop of sunlight hitting the snow—unguarded—his heart right on his sleeve, waiting to slip off into your hands if you offer them to him…
“I—” You lose breath from just looking at him—him and his stupid, earnest eyes… ”So Hufflepuff, ahem!”
Jaehyun all but groans.
However, he has the self-respect to right himself, brushing off the slight pinch to his ego, and giving way to your digression.
“Their Captain might look all sweet but that guy’s a monster. Keep on his heels when you’re up there,” Jaehyun offers.
“Hao? The guy that stank up the entire Great Hall because he had to just eat his durian out in the open?”
“Same one. Wolf in a sheep’s clothing, I swear, their whole lot.”
“Rich coming from you,” you scoff, rolling your eyes for him to see.
He ignores it.
“Hao prefers his right side too much, it was so obvious from our last match,” Jaehyun takes the quill from you to add his own little note to the margins. “And I think he’s into our Chaser.”
“Hanbin? Oh yeah, saw it from a mile away. I knew they were giving each other eyes in your last match.”
“Knew you came to spy on us.” He grins, and you pull his cheeks down so it turns into a pained frown.
“I wasn’t spying.”
“Ogling, then.”
“Ew…who would I ogle at…you?”
“Awww, is my Y/N-ie shy?” He coos, lightly grazing the nib of the quill against your nose, leaving a tiny blue mark there. “You weren’t like this when we were in the Hospital Wing and you were all like, ‘Jae-Jaehyun!’” he says in mock sorrow—an embarrassing imitation of your voice.
“WELL, SORRY FOR THINKING YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN DEAD—” you huff, jumping off the rock and beginning to stomp away, but he drags you back to your spot by your wrist.
“Okay, okay—truce!” He puts both arms up in surrender. “Back to tactics, c’mon.”
You still pout but let him coax you back into strategising.
“Sakura sticks to a pattern—it’s always, begin on the left, zig-zag across, then she goes right,” you explain as you point at your notes, “You can basically predict her next move before she even starts.”
“That should make it easy then—she’s faster than me as a Seeker, so I have trouble when we need to dive for the Snitch sometimes.”
You offer him advice based on your experience from playing against Slytherin, and he in turn, does the same for your eventual match against Hufflepuff.
In Charms, the two of you pass notes—little tidbits that you might have not remembered to tell each other the day before. Then he’s slipping scraps of paper into your robe as he passes by you across the Quidditch field—nimble and deft with his hands—you make sure to tell him that he’d make an excellent pickpocket if being an athlete doesn’t work out in the future.
And then…he stops with the niceties altogether.
“Good game, partner.” Jaehyun extends his hand out to you after one of your joint practice matches.
You hesitate before taking it, too self-conscious of whether people see. “Hm, yeah.” You avert your eyes.
But he shamelessly lingers on your palm, gently tugging it closer. The pulse under your wrists speeds up dangerously, heart thudding when you look up to see him move your hand closer to his lips—you gulp, thinking he might press a kiss to it—
Jaehyun winks, a smirk appearing before he softly returns your hand back to you.
You almost combust.
//
“What the fuck, Myung? You can’t just—”
“Just?”
“—Flirt in front of my team!” You throw your hands up in exasperation. “They can’t know that we’re—”
“That we’re..?” Jaehyun’s eyebrows raise; he’s smiling—not a bit concerned about you stressing out. “That we’re what, Sweetheart?”
Your temple throbs again. It’s infuriating—how easily he drives you up the wall, how he knows the exact buttons to push to elicit the exact reactions from you—how he knows you inside out like his own mind.
“Don’t call me that.” You pout, plopping down on the bleachers. “You flirt like it’s your life blood.”
“Only with you, I’ve already told you this,” He puts his cheeks in his palms, leaning in. “I can stop if you hate it.”
You don’t respond.
You can’t… There’s no way to know if you truly do hate it. Your body seemed to react to his sweet-talking with the same alertness it reserved for an active threat situation—heart racing, adrenaline coursing… but you can’t even say some part of you hasn’t started to look forward to the symptoms now.
Instead of acknowledging his words, you end up asking—
“Why do you keep helping me?”
The thought has been weighing you down like a head on a pillow—steadily, maybe even comfortably. There are so many answers he could give you, each one just as tender.
But what he says knocks the air out of your lungs, and perhaps your heart just falls out and gives itself to the boy in front of you…
“Maybe I want to make sure my last match here will be with you.” Jaehyun’s voice is a whisper.
Snow softly drifts—melting atop his inky locks—and then you actually look at him.
He is no longer the same thirteen year old boy that flew circles around you, or taunted you with his natural talent. He’s older now, his features sharper, shoulders broader—more reliable.
But his eyes…they’re still as soft, still playful like a kid’s.
You wonder if you just never saw him before, or if you just refused to admit that you did.
“...I,” you begin, but he’s already pulling you up with him.
“Play a 1 v 1 with me?” he asks, cheeks pink, and smile soft.
When you finally nod, he’s turning away, leading you down to the broom stands.
Oh.
You watch his back, the way he turns around to look at you—and the world freezes for a second.
Oh, you think.
You’re fucked.
── 𓇢𓆸
You’re thoroughly, absolutely fucked.
Jaehyun, when left unstopped, is a force to be reckoned with.
He flirts with a newfound passion now—in-between classes, during broomrides, up in the astronomy tower where you once take him to try out a nosedive—on the Quidditch pitch, twenty feet up in the air.
The location is a second thought to him—all that matters is that he gets to say the word ‘Sweetheart’ to you, minimum three times a day.
“Sweetheart, you forgot to sleep today, didn’t you?”
“Sweetheart, do you think I should start shaving? I think it gives me a rugged look though, no?”
“Sweetheart, why aren’t you wearing your scarf, it’s freezing cold—here, take mine—”
“Myung Jaehyun, shut the fuck up,” You slam a hand to your forehead as he stares quizzically. “Why aren’t you celebrating your win with your team?”
The two of you stand crammed together in a tiny nook behind one of the stairs; Jaehyun is sweaty from his match against Slytherin, face flushed and chest still heaving. You had come to watch, but somehow, in a turn of events that was simultaneously strange and predictable—he had found you right after.
“It’s your win just as it is mine,” he says giddily, “I couldn’t have made that dive if you hadn’t practiced with me.”
“Lies. You didn’t need me for that.”
“I always need you.”
“God, ugh,” You drag your palms down your face, ready to pound your head against the wall. “You are so annoying!”
“Aw, did I make Tweety bird mad?”
“What the fuck, Myung? Why do you keep calling me stuff like that!?”
“Because,” He shrugs. “You look like a Tweety Bird.”
When you just stare incredulously back at him, mouth agape, he elaborates, “Innocent and cute…and fun to chase around.”
“You can’t,” you sigh, ignoring the warmth pulsating inside your chest. “You can’t just keep doing this. Our teams hate each other, and…we can’t disappoint them.” The last sentence breaks out before you can think it through.
“And that’s the only reason?” he asks, coy.
You gulp, looking away.
“Alright,” Jaehyun just nods, giving no indication that he intended to do as told, “I’ll hold back on the flirting.”
It’s an ominous statement, you think. The paranoia that claws its way up your body makes you stiffen when he ruffles your hair, saying nothing more after.
He walks off to where his team waits for him—probably wondering where their Captain had gone off to—leaving you alone with your thoughts in a shadowy spot under the stairs.
You wonder if you’ve awakened some sort of monster.
Myung Jaehyun is no longer acting like Myung Jaehyun.
At least not the same one you’ve come to be familiar with—the obnoxious jerk who had somehow melted into a softer version of himself—a teasing, hyperactive puppy-dog of a human that kept following you around.
He takes what you had demanded of him and adds his own flair to it.
You start to regret that you’d ever said those words.
“Good game,” he says, without stringing a nickname at the end. “You did well.”
His words are still genuine, but you can tell he’s burying so much he would rather just say.
“Thanks,” you respond stiffly, the hair on your nape standing up.
But a sly smile shows itself on his face. “What about me, did I do well?”
“Huh?” you sputter.
“I asked,” He leans in to whisper, his breath way too close to your lips. “Did I do well, Captain?”
You pray to the heavens above to swallow you whole, in case one of your teammates has heard it.
Thankfully, they’re off to the sides, caught up in their own shenanigans—Gunwook seems to be attempting to break Matthews arm in what outwardly looks like a handshake, and Liz’s yells aimed at Gyuvin echoes as far as the distant mountains.
Jaehyun is undeterred. “What?” he says again, in a pitch deep enough to send a shiver through you. “You said not to call you Sweetheart.”
Before you can say anything intelligent in response, he walks off with a final squeeze to your palms.
Then there’s your private strategy meet-ups: he shows up, talks just as enthusiastically about Quidditch with you, and every time the word ‘Sweetheart’ threatens to escape his mouth, he’ll replace it with something more dangerous.
Then there are his touches …
“Can you pass me that blueprint over there?” Jaehyun asks, pointing at the rolled-up paper next to you.
When you hand it to him, your fingertips accidentally brush against his, and the two of you look up to meet each other’s eyes.
He smiles; you stutter.
Or you’ll lean in too close without thinking, too caught up in recounting some historic match out of a guide, and when you look up, he’ll already be staring at you—shamelessly, with an attention he does not even offer to his school subjects.
And it makes you have to dig your fingernails into your skin to keep yourself tethered to the material world.
In a twist you didn’t think the universe was cruel enough to pull on you, Myung Jaehyun proves to hold the capacity to be even more infuriating than you thought he could ever be.
And you are nothing but a victim of his perilous tenacity.
Your paranoia spikes to an all time high when he approaches you from behind—making you jump in your own skin with just a casual greeting. You start to fear for your life lest he say something too sultry in front of your friends. You start watching your back, treating him like a threat to your life—a time-bomb about to explode that you need to run away from.
But he always finds you.
And you realise that you can’t take it anymore.
His stupid face is in your head 24/7, his stupid voice now the narrator of your brain. He’s everywhere—physically, spiritually, in all the ways that suck the soul out of your body.
Myung Jaehyun has cemented himself as the true bane of your existence.
After the nth time you catch yourself staring at his mouth while he rambled on about the Oakshaft 79, you decide you have had enough.
Jaheyun is on his way back from one of his classes, clueless as ever, caught up in his mental world of fast-going broomsticks when—
“Huh, what!—” He feels more than sees: the harsh tug of his necktie, the broom cupboard doors slamming shut behind him, drowning him in dancing shadows—and then you—and your mouth on his.
Your mouth…on…his?
“Y/N—”
“Shut up,” you whisper, pulling him back down. Your hands tug at his nape, at his hair—tight enough to break, and eager enough to electrocute him.
Jaehyun is stupidly giddy when any comment he might have attempted to make gets smothered by your kiss, fiery and deep. His hands come to find your waist, a desperate attempt to ground himself. It doesn’t work—his soul might as well be floating away with the way you kiss him breathlessly, in a rhythm that’s entirely primal.
When he dares to sneak a look at you, right as you part your mouth for him, he feels his heart skip several beats—your eyes are half-lidded, kiss-drunk, and Jaehyun feels himself lose all inhibition at once.
He takes control, pushing you up against a wall, curling a hand around both your wrists when they come loose from his neck. Warmth prods at the seams of your lips, and you surrender to it.
Jaehyun feels the same way he does twenty feet up in the sky, chasing headfirst after a Snitch, when the adrenaline rushes through him—purely chemical.
Maybe it’s because he knows you so well, knows exactly what to predict from you, all the right buttons to push to coax a soft gasp out of your mouth. You might have been good at observing other players, but Jaehyun was the best when it came to studying you.
You let him kiss you with everything he’s got, as though he was making up for lost time—for all his wasted ‘Sweetheart’s and all the times he should have just given into his impulse. You think of how you used to hate him—and the memory only feeds your need to remind him that it’s different now—that the line between hate and love was want, and you’d been toeing it for a long time now.
When you finally part, his hands are still where they were five minutes ago, his lips shiny, eyes dropped down to your mouth—he’s already thinking of a second round.
But before Jaehyun’s about to dive down again, you press your palm against his mouth.
He frowns behind it, like a kicked puppy.
“Not now,” you say—it comes out as a promise for later. His frustrated whine gets blanketed by your hand, and you shoot him a stern look.
You then peel back, adjust your uniform back into place, and poke a finger into his chest as a threatening reminder. “We never speak of this again, deal?”
He nods, dazed, mind still floating in the memory of your taste.
“Good.” You leave him there, looking downright intoxicated—knees weak, tie askew, mouth parted, eyes in a slow-blinking haze, hair resembling a bird’s nest—disheveled from head to toe.
When the door closes, Jaehyun leans his forehead against the wall and lets out a long and pleased sigh.
You were going to be the death of him.
“We did it, Y/N,” Kazuha’s hug is fierce as it is warm. “We won!”
“They didn’t stand a chance!” Leeseo bounces, punching her broom in the air, earning a round of ‘hooray’s from the stands.
The entire Ravenclaw house roars from the crowd, blazing posters of blue and silver, chanting your names when you win them the last match before finals.
Finals.
You’ll be playing against Gryffindor.
Ricky and Gunwook pull everyone into a group hug, the latter close to tears at your hard-earned victory. There’s a light drizzle in the air, making everything look foggy beyond a distance; your hair is slightly damp, your skin buzzes with sweat and moisture, and your body is still stuck on the high of winning.
“Maybe I want to make sure my last match here will be with you.” Jaehyun’s voice echoes in your mind.
You don’t waste any time before seeking him out the first opportunity you find to free yourself from your team. He’s, as predicted, lingering somewhere behind the stands—bundled up in warm clothes, a cable knit sweater instead of his uniform, a thick scarf over it, and fuzzy gloves over his fingers.
“Y/N, Congrat—” The rest turns into a yelp when you drag him by the collar, to a secluded recess behind the wooden planks.
You lean up to press a single kiss to his lips.
Jaehyun doesn’t need to be told twice—he discards his gloves somewhere so that he can feel your cheeks underneath his palm without a barrier, thumbing away at the rain-kissed skin there. Then he pulls you back in, deepening it—his fingers coming to rest behind your head, freeing your hair from the confines of your tight ponytail.
Maybe it's the adrenaline from the match, but you push back just as desperately—swallowing any and all sounds that escape him. Your teeth accidentally graze against his bottom lip, and he shivers against you, then squeezes your waist in response.
“Congrats,” he ends up whispering into another kiss.
“Thanks,” you huff, too impatient for breaks. “It was—fuck,” Another kiss. “You helped.”
“Yeah?” He smiles against your kiss.
“Yeah.” You nod, eyes only half open.
And just like that, yet another thing gets added into your routine—stolen kisses behind stairwells, more broom cupboard rendezvous, some softer, some heated, but always the same pattern—by the end, you have his mouth perfectly memorised like the insides of your Quidditch guides.
Sometimes you want to kiss him because he’s being a gentleman to you on the pitch—offering his scarf when you accidentally shiver, or slipping a candy-bar into your pockets on days you’ve forgotten to eat.
Other times, it’s when he’s being an absolute shit.
“You’re fucking annoying,” you complain, but your actions contradict the words when you’re shoving him against a wall to kiss the smirk off of his face.
“And you, Miss Captain,” he giggles, “have a potty mouth.”
“And what about it?” You raise one brow threateningly.
“Oh nothing,” Jaehyun smoothens the knot between them with his thumb. “I like it, actually. You’re kinda hot when you’re mean.”
All you can respond with is a flustered cough, a grunt, and then another attempt to shut him up—with your mouth on his.
Days bleed into weeks, and before you know it, your life has condensed into half-attended classes, a growing list of diagrams on your soon-to-finish notebook, more Quidditch practices with the Gryffindor team, and kisses that taste like fire and chocolate.
The best part? Nobody but you and him knows—the thrill of a secret and the comfort of something hidden, it keeps you moving. On days when your stress threatens to break you, its his lips and heat that helps you let off steam.
You start to look forward to seeing Jaehyun every day. And the dread of finals turns into a promise to be kept—you would beat him before you graduate Hogwarts, and you’ll do it with the assurance that he’ll come find you afterwards no matter what.
And you’ll kiss all the animosity away, leaving behind only giddy warmth to replace it.
//
A dent in your plan comes in the shape of one cat-like Chaser.
“Why aren’t you aiming at Myung anymore?” Ricky questions one day after practice, as you’re walking off the field, peeling off your gear.
“Huh?”
“You didn’t throw the Bludger at him even once today.”
You freeze; the chill that runs down your body is not from the cold.
He isn’t entirely wrong. You aim at every other Gryffindor on the team, but when it comes to a certain fluffy-haired boy… Your hand just happens to re-evaluate where you want to hit the ball, and it’s almost never at him.
“...Umm…”
“Is he threatening you, Y/N? ”Ricky asks seriously; it’s a little comedic—how earnest he seems about the concept of you potentially being blackmailed by the hyperactive Seeker of a boy.
You could do two things to worm your way out of his question—you could brush it off and change the topic to today’s weather and distract Ricky easily—he was as easy to bait as a cat is. Or, you could choose the slightly more deranged alternative and say:
“Ye-ah.”
“He is!?” Ricky is all ears—and eyes, from how large they grow. “I knew it, that asshole!”
It doesn’t take too long before the entire team is convinced that Myung Jaehyun was no longer just a headache in your life, but now also an active threat to their dearest captain.
“We’ll avenge you, Y/N-ie.” Gunwook says, and Liz nods along vigorously over her bowl of warm popcorn. “We’ll beat them dead at finals…
“Get it?” He turns to Liz. “Cuz I’m a beater…”
Liz stuffs some popcorn into his mouth to keep it shut before he can start guffawing at his own lame joke.
“Will you at least say what dirt he’s got on you?” Leeseo pipes up, curious.
The team is spread out around the common room—Gunwook, Liz and Kazuha on the baby blue couch, Ricky is off at the open window, having a staring contest with a black cat, and Leeseo hangs onto you over your shoulder as you scribble annotations into a guide-book over the short table.
Gaeul paces around the room as she tries to memorise her Ancient Ruins vocabulary.
“Secret,” you say before dipping your quill back into the ink bottle.
Liz boos to express her discontentment, and Leeseo deflates with a pout.
“What we need to focus on,” you continue, “is the match against Gryffindor next month. And making sure we study their last one so we’re ready for finals.”
The room freezes collectively.
Gaeul stops walking, Gunwook’s popcorn falls out of his open mouth, Liz gapes, Ricky does a slow, dramatic turn of his head—Kazuha asks, “What did you just say..?”
You blink, confused—scared, “Huh?”
“You just said,” Gaeul repeats, her hand falling limp at her side. “Gryffindor.”
The gulp that runs down your throat is a painful one. “I-I didn’t… I wasn’t—”
“You’re not even gagging after Gaeul unnie said their name.” Leeseo is in complete shock. “Are you sick?”
“I’m—” You touch Jaheyun’s new year’s gift inside your pocket, tightening your fist around to stop your anxiety from spiking.
Ricky, however, has his absurd theory. “Did Myung Jaehyun hex you? Oh my god, did he obliviate your memorie—”
“No! What?”
“It must be a fever then,” Leeseo places her hand on your forehead to check for a temperature. “You shouldn’t stress out over the finals too much. It might make you sick.”
You can’t do anything but nod, letting the girls coax you back under your bedsheets, laying a cold towel on your head, and forcefully detaching your notebook from your grasp.
You’re pretending to be a bedridden victim, when it was the last thing you were in reality.
The rest of them leave after more chiding, and stacking several healing potions near your bed for easy reach; Kazuha, however, stays behind.
“So…” she begins, careful. Your eyes trail up to hers, fear ballooning.
Then, she grins like the devil.
“You sly dog,” Kazuha smirks. “You’re with Myung Jaehyun.”
Everything you thought you didn’t need to be prepared for comes to bite you in the rear with a single, terrifying truth. She knows.
“What?” You attempt, feigning confusion. “Pfft, no…pffft …fuck no!”
She’s having none of it. “Y/N-ie, my dearest, you made the entire team bathe in salt the last time Leeseo accidentally said the G-word. I had salt in my ear for days.”
You open your mouth to protest, but she won’t let you. “We have to touch wood every time you see the colour red…You made Gaeul look up devil-warding talismans before last year’s match against them.
“And,” Her sneaky eyes trail down, a finger moving your collar out of the way, “That there, my friend, is no mosquito bite.”
Your entire face turns scarlet—too close to resembling the Gryffindor red, as though in mockery.
“It’s not what you think!” You spring up, the wet towel flopping down onto your lap as you grab Kazuha by the shoulders, clutching it for dear life. “Listen! He and I—we’re…It’s—”
“My dearest Y/N,” She combs away the fray hair on your cheek, tucking it behind your ear. “You are a terrible liar.”
“Ricky believed me!” You give up trying to defend yourself, simply falling forward to place your forehead onto her shoulder.
“Ricky’s an idiot,” she supplies, “And so are the rest of our team, thankfully. For a bunch of Ravenclaws, we’re pretty dumb when it comes to things like this.”
You sniffle dramatically, groaning as you realise what’s happened. Kazuha knows of you and Myung Jaehyun—the asshole you’re supposed to hate. The idiot you might be betraying your house for.
“You guys are cute together,” She smiles. “I always thought his fighting was too superficial to be anything real—he always looks like he’s two steps away from flirting.”
“You’re not…mad?” You come up for air, blinking.
She just grins, taking your hands in her’s. “Of course, not. You’ve been looking happier these days…more energetic. And oh my god, your skin is glowing—”
“Oh shut up.” You roll your eyes, but the smile that escapes you is real. “Thanks…for being a good friend.”
“Only the best.” She winks.
“Yeah, you’re right,” You let her drag you into a hug, “Only the best.”
“Shush, don’t let Liz here that.”
The weight on your chest elevates, just a little bit.
Now if only the rest of your team was gauranteed to react the same way…
//
“So, any Ravenclaw inside scoop I can cash in on with a kiss?” Jaehyun wiggles his eyebrows, already pulling you flush against him, leaning closer with one hand braced on the wall next to your head. The staircase is quiet except for your whispers.
You push him away by the tip of your wand; he winces in confusion. “Kazhuha knows,” you say with a sigh.
“Hmm? Nakamura?...your Chaser?” He quirks his head.
“My best friend,” you correct, “We fucked up big time.”
“Oh, c’mon, who cares?” Jaehyun leans back in again, too eager to keep his hands to himself.
“Me,” you say, stopping him again. He pouts. “Stop making that face. We need to be more careful from now on. My reputation is going to the sewers if they realise I’m with the likes of you.”
“Hey, that’s mean.”
“You said you like me mean.”
“That—” he pauses, then nods with a sigh. “That is very true. You have great memory.”
“We need a game plan—so we don’t get caught by Ricky of all people again… God, I should have just swung that Bludger at your head, then this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Uh… come again?”
“They think I’m going soft!” you huff, crossing your arms. “Me! Soft! Can you believe it?”
“You are soft.” Jaehyun manages to pry your arms apart, pulling you close to his chest. You can hear his heart thud in a gentle rhythm against yourself. “Soft over here,” He pokes your cheeks. “Soft over here too.” He points to where your heart should be. “I blame them for realising too late.”
“Yeah?” You roll your eyes, albeit with all intention of entertaining his whims. “And you, Myung? When did you realise it?”
His eyes soften and he swallows nervously, an action not befitting the cocky Seeker you knew most of the time. “That time you called my name in the Hospital Wing. You sounded so…like you cared. Like beneath all that ice, I still somehow mattered to you somehow…”
“Oh… “
Jaehyun’s eyes are in their most vulnerable—soul bared as a stream of gentle colours spills over his cheeks from the stained glass window above.
“Can you say it again?” he asks; it sounds like a spell. “My name.”
You answer with a kiss to his cheek, then another that lands at the corner of his lips—before he rights you and guides you to his mouth, letting you draw out something sweet. At the next press, you whisper against him, “Jaehyun.”
He smiles—just as sweet as he tastes.
“Again?”
“Jaehyun…” Another peck.
“Again,” he demands.
“Okay, you jerk—”
“Y/N,” he giggles, “L/N Y/N,… How am I ever gonna stay away from you?”
“Just until we graduate. Then you’ll join the Chudley Cannons—”
“And you’ll be with the Harpies.”
“—And we’ll have all the freedom in the world.”
“Promise me a broomride when this is all over.” It’s not a question.
“Promise.” You nod anyway.
Staying away from Jaehyun proves to be harder than you expect it to be.
You’ve been attuned to tracking his figure at all times of day. It’s become second nature to find him, or for him to find you—lingering outside classrooms before you head off towards the lake, holding the seat beside yours in Charms for him, waiting all night to share a new piece of Quidditch news with him the next chance you get to.
But now, you have to actively remind yourself to do the opposite.
“You look tired,” Kazuha comments as you curl up into the couch, eyes burning from reading for too long. “Had dinner?”
You shake your head.
“Had lunch?”
You shake your head again.
“Did you fight with Myung—”
“Can you be quiet!?” You slap your hand across her mouth. “And no!”
Her response is muffled. “What’s going on then?”
“Nuffin.”
“Y/N—”
“I haven’t seen him, alright?” you groan in shame, hiding behind the crook of your elbow. “I..I..”
“Yes?... You…?”
“I…umm..”
“Almost there…”
“I miss him, okay!?” you whine, face the shade of a beetroot, pride crumbling down. “I hate that I miss him.”
It’s been weeks since you’ve shared any real contact with Jaehyun—no kisses awaiting a draining practice, no home to go to for warmth when you begin to feel the weight of pressure.
The worst part is, you don’t get to seek out his voice, to talk to him when it’s all you want to do—ramble about strategies, watch him doodle little broomsticks to help you take your mind off of championships, any passing moment that you can steal away from him—none of those exist anymore.
Your frustration amplifies when he still greets you with the contained happiness he needed to keep your… this thing, whatever it was, between you—a secret.
When Jaehyun swoops past the Chasers and straight towards you, grazing your fingers as he reaches for the Snitch—your heart stutters; you can see Kazuha smirking coyly from behind him, and Ricky gritting his teeth like a hissing cat—still under the assumption that Myung Jaehyun had some sort of deep-running bad blood with you.
It’s stupidly funny, and nightmarishly vexing, at the same time.
You miss him when he’s near you, touching barely but not enough. You miss him when he’s away—manifesting in your dreams that were usually about night rides on your beloved Firebolt—his phantom now on a broom right next to yours, on days where you’ll look at your Tweety bird model and think of him; he’s a permanent itch in your brain.
Each day that draws you closer to the finals heightens the buzz in your chest, turning dread into raw desperation—to win, and to finally meet him at eye-length, in the ultimate clash of your high-school Quidditch career.
You were so close to keeping your vow.
You would prove to him that you were worthy of being his rival—of being the one who gets to stand alongside him in the last ever match you’d ever play at Hogwarts—his fated enemy, the best Beater he’d ever bear witness to.
You would not let him, or yourself, down now.
── 𓇢𓆸
Hogwarts Quidditch pitch - Finals: Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw
It’s the day you’ve been waiting for—the day all your sleepless nights, every second you’ve spent on this same field to perfect yourself will be put to the test.
The last ever match you’ll have at Hogwarts.
“Brooms up!” Professor Jeon’s voice echoes from the mid-field.
Jaehyun and you meet each other’s eyes—the rest of the world all but a blur.
He grins, you grin back. Electricity crackles between you.
You mount your broom, and a sharp whistle blasts through the summer weather, the four enchanted balls whizzing out of their containment. Cold gave into heat, skins sticky from the weightless air.
Kazuha, Liz, and Ricky fly parallel to each other, spanning across the pitch before they spread out in different directions.
Tensions are high twenty feet up in the air—figures in blue and red whooshing by like ants from a distance. The crowd roars below you, cheering for either team as they attempt to outdo the other, both houses pumped with adrenaline—players and audience alike.
Liz narrowly avoids a Bludger from Intak, maneuvering around it to make the first goal.
“Ten points to Ravenclaw!” booms the commentator’s voice.
No time to waste; it’s a dive right back into the game without stopping to breathe. Kazuha’s next shot is kicked away by the Gryffindor Keeper, Woonhak. He grins as he waits for Intak to send him a thumbs-up.
Your brain buzzes with the mantra you’ve been teaching yourself during the past four years of rigorous training: Do not mess up your last game, do not start on the wrong foot, and do not ruin everything.
Do not waste time on thinking.
Bracing yourself, you swing your bat against the hard iron of the Bludger flying past you, sending it whizzing at Jaehyun’s back.
But he sees you from the corner of his eye, sensing your presence from just a huff of your beath. He swivels on his broom to dodge, ending up upside down—his hair flopping down in a fluffy mess.
“You’re cute,” he manages to say through a proud chuckle.
“You’re aggravating.” You smile.
In the midst of the heart-pounding game—at the dead centre of the mass of flying bodies, echoes of hollers and house chants beyond the boundary of what held just you and him—sparks fly between your narrowed eyes.
I missed you, his say.
I’m gonna win, yours reply.
Hanbin passes the Quaffle to Yujin, right as Gunwook attempts to knock him off his broom. They streak past your Chasers, heading for Gaeul at the hoops.
“Ten points—to Gryffindor!”
You’re at a draw.
Slowly, the margin narrows—Matthew successfully manages to knock the Quaffle out of Ricky’s hands, but Liz swoops underneath to catch it. She heads for the Gryffindor goal with a one-track mind, barely swinging it through the right hoop before Woonhak stretches to swat it away.
Liz huffs, “Don’t smile too wide now.” Her threat has the younger Keeper begin to sweat.
When your teammates are caught up in their own flurry of competition, you see it—a glint of gold—the Snitch.
Jaehyun’s keen attention to your line of sight has him immediately launching himself at it.
“Leeseo!” you yell for your Seeker, calling her up from her perch beside Gunwook’s defence.
She zooms towards you in no time.
You follow at Jaehyun’s heel, chasing after him like a moth to a flame, Leeseo hounding him from the other side closest to the Snitch. When you speed up to fly parallel to his broom, he glances sideways—a satisfying smile etched on his face.
This is everything he imagined it to be—you can tell.
You break against the wind, swinging your bat backward as you see a Bludger fly your way, extending it in one graceful arc behind your shoulder—and you slam against it— a sharp, resounding thwack reaching your eardrum.
It hits Jaehyun; at the exact second, Leeseo dives down for the Snitch, her hand curling around the golden ball.
The whistle breaks, somewhere far, far away. Someone says something through the loudspeaker.
You don’t hear it through the muffle of wind in your ears, the broom underneath you plummeting after the red spot—sight tunnel visioning on Jaehyun’s falling body.
Not again, please, no.
There are cheers from the crowd; you can’t tell which house it belongs to. Just that your hands extend for him, your body suspended above his—the Firebolt accelerating faster and faster until it curves like an umbrella—
“Jae—”
You catch him, right in front of you, exactly as your broom thuds softly against the plush grass.
“Y/N,” He grins, dazed.
There are no visible injuries on him; no blood to be seen, to bruises to worry you.
His hand finds your cheek, thumbing away a tear that threatens to fall.
“Jaehyun,” You whisper cracks as you’re throwing your body onto him, pulling him into a devastating hug. “You’re okay.”
“I am,” he assures with a chuckle. “You caught m—” mmff!
You swallow his words with a bruising kiss—uncaring of the hoots around you slowly dying, a confused murmur replacing it before the crowd once more erupts into excitement—students exclaiming amongst themselves.
“That’s Y/N, oh my god! She’s with Myung Jaehyun!?”
“I thought they hated each other! Damn!”
“Y/N, WE WON—Oh… ” Ricky stops in his tracks. Liz bumps into him, and when she looks past his shoulder to see you and Jaheyun’s intertwined figures on the grass—her mouth drops incredulously,
“Hyung…” Woonhak is approaching from the other end, prepared to get berated by his captain when he too realises that said captain was kissing the opponent in front of the entire school.
You and Jaehyun finally gasp for air, coming apart red and dizzy.
“Congrats, you two!” Kazuha winks, offering a pleased nod, and Intak agrees with a thumbs up—like he'd known all along.
Gyuvin looks two seconds away from throwing up—either from the nausea of having lost the game, or from having to witness the shameless sight in front of him, no one will ever know.
As a cherry on top of the absurd situation, Professor Jeon enters the scene with a dramatic cough, saying, “This is not what I meant by inter-house fraternising,” His chide disperses into a proud smile, “But, Oh well. Good luck, both of you—I expect great things.”
You blush profusely while Jaehyun rubs the back of his head in embarrassment.
“Are we in hell?” Gunwook grimaces, having forgotten the past hour of playing, and any memory of winning the Inter-House Quidditch Cup.
“Hey, it’s not like you and I don’t make out either,” Matthew smirks, bringing forth another tide of gasps and groans. “Occasionally,” he adds, like that made anything better.
“It's…we were just letting off steam!” Gunwook flubbers in his attempt to explain to a betrayed-looking Ricky.
Liz’s mouth is still comically agape. “What…When…How—WHAT!?” She's maniacal. “Is there anything more I don’t know!?”
Gyuvin swoops in at the chance, “Yeah, Woonhak has that thing with his Slytherin girl."
“Wait, what? Hyung, it’s not a thing—!” Woonhak tries to yell, but no one listens as all eyes snap toward Liz’s ear-splitting shriek.
“Is anyone here dating within their own house or???”
Several shakes of head return her way, but Kazuha leans in with a greasy tone.
“We could,” She wiggles her eyebrows.
While the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor teams continue to argue, the world around you and Jaehyun spins to a stop—to a space where only the two of you exist, your friends’ chatter a comfortable background noise.
“You saved me,” he’s saying, leaning forward with his hands braced on the grass behind him. Your broomsticks lay abandoned beside you, dirt and grime coating your fingernails and skin. It doesn’t matter—only he does.
“I saved you back,” You lightly bump your forehead against his, affectionate. “We’re even now.”
“Y/N,” he nuzzles into you.
“Yes, Jae?”
“Be my rival till I die?” He says it with the conviction of a marriage proposal.
You grin, leaving a kiss on his cheek. “I thought you’d never ask, Sweetheart.”
“So…” Ricky quirks his head in innocent confusion, making everyone turn their heads towards him. “He wasn't blackmailing you?”
His words are met with a collective set of groans.
You laugh into Jaehyun’s shoulder, body humming pleasantly, and when you look around at the Quidditch pitch that’s served as your home for the past several years—you recollect every stumble you’ve made here, every new move you’d been proud to learn. Where you grew as a team and as friends—a group of young Ravenclaws that had grown into family.
And, this is where you first met Jaehyun—where you swore you’d beat him one day. Where you finally kept your promise.
When you look at him, you see your past, your present, and then, the future that awaits you.
One thing remains true even with all the inevitable changes to come: Myung Jaehyun would always be your sworn enemy, your most beloved person, and most of all—your biggest fan.
You kiss him once more to make sure he knows it’s the same for you.
𓂃𓈒𓇢𓆸 fin
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── .✦ for more hogwarts! aus, check out the signed, sealed, spellbound series!
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a/n: thank you to everyone who left a kind comment on my last rant post and also anyone that sent me an ask afterwards. I was only able to finish writing this without pushing myself too hard bcs of the enthusiasm i've received from you guys. it means a lot to me 💙 thnx to juney @mwotgata for bearing with my rambles and for always being there to bounce off my ideas. and ofc my lovely hana dul set @nemoihan who edits my terrible grammar and checks up on me exactly when i need her. katikins @ilysungho and moemoe @moesthinking who has kept me sane and going for the past week or so. and thank you gill @astrae4 for being so reassuring and the coolest of moots! @yuuvini, @dj-ami, and @tenshi-sama ily for your wonderful asks that made me very very happy. and ofc to my dearest, levy @pupillary, who i miss a lot. i hope you guys enjoyed this fic, ily guys a lot!
p.s. sorry for being sappy lol
++ im thinking of opening an interview style ask for the hp series since im done with 3/6 fics now! it'll be any questions u might want to ask the already introduced characters in sungho, riwoo, and jaehyun's fics! if you think i should do this, do lmk!
SYNOPSIS: you swore you’d never be able to love anyone as much as you had your best friend, myung jaehyun. but two years have passed since jaehyun’s left your life and you can’t tell if it’s your heart or the alcohol talking, but there’s something so intriguing about han taesan, the friend he’d left behind, that makes you wonder: “what if?”
WORD COUNT: 4.1k
GENRE/CONTENTS: angst, hurt/comfort, friends to ???, desperate yearning (guess who), arguing, reader is in denial, drinking, profanity, and other unspecified things (i forget LMAO).
FEATURING: boynextdoor's jaehyun and riwoo.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: i was planning on publishing this in a couple of days but i can’t wait any longer so here it is!!!!! “the sky, it falls” spin-off is finally somewhat complete after a year of me trying to write it 😭 if you haven’t already, i highly recommend reading tsif just to get a better understanding of what’s going on because it’s kind of …. a lot. but if you HAVE read it, this is not the end!! there is way too much lore behind this fic that i still need to share 😞 anyways!! happy reading 🫶🏼
TAGLIST: @floraljae @pupillary
RECOMMENDED SONGS: Corazón Atómico by Zoé and Home Sweet Home by The Favors
PART 1 — PART 2 — PART 3
BACK TO MASTERLIST.
Watching you fall in love with Myung Jaehyun was perhaps more heartbreaking than anything Han Taesan had ever experienced.
It was strange to him, watching a girl he barely knew anything about come to him one evening with anger written all over your face, your eyes furious and frustrated as you yelled about how much you hated Myung Jaehyun on his doorstep. You only knew each other through him after all, so what were you doing, cursing the boy you claimed to be your best friend? What were you doing coming to Taesan, one of Jaehyun’s most trusted friends (aside from you)? It was so strange, so out of the ordinary that he decided perhaps it was best to just let it happen, unaware that his doing so would only result in something more confusing growing inside of him.
"All he ever does is talk about his girlfriend," you scoffed as you aggressively kicked the rocks in front of you, watching them scatter across the road. "I can't even get a word in without him mentioning her."
Taesan hummed as he walked beside you, “Did it ever occur to you that she is his girlfriend?"
Your head turned as you glared at Taesan, your jaw clenching as you exhaled sharply, clearly unhappy with his words. "Of course I know that," you said through gritted teeth, turning back around. "I'd prefer not to be reminded of that, thanks."
It was no surprise to him that you were in love with Myung Jaehyun, especially given how much Jaehyun valued you and put you above everyone else — despite it not seeming as such. He often wondered if you knew just how much Jaehyun cared about you, and if perhaps that was the reason why you liked him so much. Or perhaps it was more of an attachment to you, the fear of losing your best friend growing more and more with each passing day. He understood you, having to watch the boy you liked fall in love over and over again, only really coming back to you whenever his heart was broken, only ever needing you so you could put his heart together once more.
He understood it, the pain of watching someone you love only grow farther apart from you.
Han Taesan witnessed it all. The realization that you were in love with Jaehyun, your heart getting ripped out of your chest so painfully, so violently, that even Taesan couldn't bear to stand by and watch at times. He watched you accept that it would never be, though it pained you to admit that your best friend had chosen so many people over you. And the worst part of it all was that Han Taesan could never tell you the truth, because what kind of friend would he be if he’d told you that Myung Jaehyun had been in love with you for most of his life?
Who was he to tell you?
Who was he to tell you that the only reason he’d asked you to “confess” for him that day was because he wanted to see your reaction, because he wanted you to be jealous? Who was he to tell you that the only reason he’d ever cried over his failed relationships was because he oh, so terribly yearned for you to be the one beside him? Who was he to tell you that the day he’d told you he loved you, that day under the rain as the sky fell from above, he’d meant it? He didn’t mean to get attached, he didn’t mean to find “the one” in someone who wasn’t you because in his heart, it would always be you — no matter how many people came and went from his life. Since the beginning, Myung Jaehyun’s heart had only ever belonged to you, and to have to give it to someone else almost killed him.
“I can’t do it,” Jaehyun had cried the day before his wedding, his eyes red and filled with tears, his hand clutching his shirt in the area above his chest as he sat on the bathroom floor of the hotel he was staying at. Taesan was crouched beside him, watching his friend struggle to breathe, hyperventilating as the realization of what he’d done had finally set in. “I ca— I can’t.”
“Yes, you can,” Taesan spoke to him, trying to calm him down. “You love her, Jaehyun. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life, I promise. You can do it.”
Myung Jaehyun refused to believe him, shaking his head violently, leaning his head against the bathroom wall, sobbing loudly. “No,” he spoke through shaky breaths. “No, I can’t.”
“She’s not—“ Jaehyun opened his eyes as he looked past Taesan, unable to look his friend in the eye. “She’s not her.”
It wasn’t necessarily the fact that he’d finally admitted it after all these years that surprised him. Han Taesan knew that already, that there was only room in his heart for one person and that the space had been filled long before they’d even met. What surprised Taesan was the fact that Jaehyun was completely sober that night — the night of his bachelor’s party, the night before his wedding day. He was sober as he cried in the bathroom, thinking about someone other than his soon-to-be bride. He was sober as he wished it was you who would meet him on the altar tomorrow, you who he’d spend the rest of his life with. You.
Myung Jaehyun had only ever pictured you.
And perhaps that was the most fucked up part of it all, that he’d truly believed he’d gotten over you, that he’d believed getting married to someone else would heal the heart you’d broken unknowingly. Why couldn’t it have been you? Why couldn’t he have proposed to you, married you, promised you forever? What had been stopping him from doing that much?
“Why are you doing this then?” Taesan asked him later that night after he’d gotten Jaehyun to calm down. He stood on the balcony of his friend’s hotel room, looking down at the street, at the cars that passed by, at the people that seemed like ants beneath them. “If you love her so much, why haven’t you told her?”
Jaehyun, lying in bed, blinked as he stared at the ceiling, wondering the same thing. It was all he ever thought about, really — why he hadn’t told you after all this time. “I don’t know,” he said, sighing. “I just don’t think that’s what she wants to hear from me.”
That’s all she wants to hear from you.
Taesan hummed, afraid of saying the wrong thing, afraid he’d spill the secret you swore to take to your grave, choosing to remain silent rather than ruin your life. But the thing was, it was killing him, knowing you both felt the same about each other, knowing you were so close to giving each other everything — simply knowing. But it killed him more to know that what you felt for Myung Jaehyun, the best friend you’d had for forever, would always be more than whatever you were feeling for Han Taesan now, two years after the wedding, after his departure from your life.
It was almost midnight. You can’t recall why you were drinking to begin with — or how you’d even ended up in a bar, for that matter. But there you were, drowning in feelings you thought you’d gotten rid of, feelings you thought had gone with Jaehyun the day he left you. It wasn’t until you’d had your first shot of tequila that you realized those feelings were still very much present, just suppressed — and it wasn't until you’d had your fourth shot that those feelings you’d held back for so long finally saw the light of day.
“I just don’t get it,” you slurred to the bartender, who was listening quite intently as he cleaned glasses from behind the counter (you learned his name was Riwoo after having talked to him for the past hour and a half).“He told me he–” You hiccuped, sighing frustratedly, unable to complete your sentence. “Listen,” you started again. The bartender glanced at you, waiting for you to continue. “Hypothetically speaking, when you’re dancing in the rain with someone and they tell you they love you forever, what exactly does that mean?”
“That they love you forever,” Riwoo replied monotonously.
“Exactly!” you yelled, slamming your hand down on the counter, your shot glass shaking. “So if they love you forever, why would they marry someone else?” The bartender didn’t reply and instead gave you a look, noticing the way your face dropped as your own words sunk in. “Why didn’t he marry me?” you asked yourself quietly, a question you’d asked yourself so many times before.
You’d imagined your life with Myung Jaehyun before. You’d probably live a quiet life, move to the countryside on a farm, plant a garden, grow a family. You imagined yourself growing old with him, only loving him more as the minutes passed you by, as your hair turned white, as your skin began to sag. Your life with Jaehyun would’ve been like a fairytale, like the ones people hear in stories — perfect.
But fairytales are for children, and now you’re twenty-five.
And Myung Jaehyun would never be coming back for you or the life you’d pictured with him.
Your vision blurs as tears well up in your eyes, the realization hitting you for the millionth time, the realization that your best friend would never be yours, that he belonged to someone else. It hurts more now than it ever has, accepting it, living with it. Perhaps it was because you were drunk, the six shots you’d taken being the reason why you felt this way, why you couldn’t bring yourself to let go. Or perhaps this feeling would simply never go away. It would always be attached to you, part of you, haunting you the way Jaehyun always did. It would linger in the back of your mind, the crevices of your heart until you forgot for a second, only to suffocate your lungs the very next.
You would never be able to get rid of Myung Jaehyun, even if you tried.
“Get up, Y/N.”
You don’t move — you can’t. You know his voice, that tired tone he always spoke with, his voice always soft. You know his scent, that woody, rainy smell he carried with him — it’s the reason you always hug him for moments longer than you should, because he always smells so nice, so comforting. And you know he’s mad at you. You can feel it radiating off his body so no, you don’t get up. You don’t even turn to look at him as you cry on that stool at the bar, afraid that you’d disappoint him more than you already had.
But Han Taesan could never blame you for anything because in his eyes, you were perfect.
You hear him sigh and the stool beside you scrape the floor as Taesan pulls it back and sits beside you, propping his arm up as he leans his cheek against his palm. You can feel his eyes on you, staring, waiting for you to look at him, to acknowledge him, to say something. And you do, because you can’t stand the thought of Taesan ever being mad at you. The thought alone is enough to kill you.
His eyes are always soft when he looks at you — never bearing any harshness or anger, always gentle and kind. And today was no different. His brown eyes were warm as they finally met your own red, teary eyes. Your eyeliner was smudged from how harshly you’d been wiping your tears, your lip trembled slightly, and you figured you looked terrible. But his eyes never wavered as he kept staring at you with that look on his face. It almost made you even more upset.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” you asked him, frustrated by how calm and collected he was. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?”
“Why would I yell at you?” Taesan responded. “You’re an adult. You can reprimand yourself.”
His words only seemed to fuel more tears as you finally looked away, covering your face with your smudged hands. “Why are you here?” you cried into your hands. Taesan sighed again, raising his hand slightly as he asked the bartender quietly for two glasses of water. “Why did you come?”
“Because you asked me to,” Taesan chuckled, moving his stool closer to you. “Like an hour ago. I assume you were much more sober then.”
You don’t get it, really. The only reason you even knew Taesan was because he was Jaehyun’s friend. The only reason you started hanging out with him was because he seemed to fill the hole in your heart that your so-called best friend created. But Jaehyun was out of the picture now. He was a million miles away, living the life he built for himself and his wife, seemingly happy. Han Taesan had no reason to stick around anymore. He had no reason to answer your random calls late at night, no reason to come running to you as you sobbed drunkenly into your phone after a long shift at work. There was nothing tying him to you anymore, yet here he was, in all his glory, paying your tab, helping you onto your feet, letting you hold onto his arm as he walked you out of the bar and to his car.
“Don’t you have work tomorrow?” he asked you as he opened the passenger door for you, watching you practically throw yourself onto the seat, letting out a quiet laugh at the sight. “What were you doing at a bar this late?” He waits for you to adjust your posture before closing the door and walking around to the driver’s seat, getting in before starting the car.
“I don’t know,” you mumble as you close your eyes and let your head fall back onto the headrest, your mind still fuzzy, your head aching. “I was just… there.”
“Hm,” Taesan nodded as he put the car in drive. “Very helpful.” You scoffed and threw your arm at him, hitting his chest. “Hey!” he laughed, “I’m driving!”
“You’re making fun of me!” you raised your voice, crying again.
“What made you think that?”
“You’re laughing at me!”
Taesan let out a jokingly exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes as he shook his head. “You’re so annoying when you’re drunk, did you know that?” he asked, glancing at you before turning his attention back to the road. “You act like a child and then get upset when I don’t treat you like you’re in your right mind.”
“You’re so mean to me,” you said, looking away from him and out the window, sniffling as you wiped your face. “It’s like you hate me or something.”
“I don’t.” The car slowed down as they reached a red light. Taesan’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, trying to find the right words to say to you. “I couldn’t if I tried, Y/N.”
The sound of the A.C. filling the car and the revving of cars filled your ears as you stared out the window, watching the buildings pass by with droopy eyes when the light finally turned green. “Couldn’t if you tried,” you repeated quietly. “Like I’m supposed to know what that means.”
“I care about you.”
“I know you do.”
You hated drinking. You hated being unable to form a coherent, original thought, being unable to control such simple emotions. You hated it. You couldn’t understand why you’d gone to that stupid bar in the first place. But sitting beside Han Taesan wasn’t so bad. Listening to his soft voice that seemed to bring more tears to your eyes than the memory of Jaehyun didn’t seem too bad. Knowing he cared about you and you cared about him almost as much wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
Maybe loving Han Taesan wouldn’t be as terrible as loving Myung Jaehyun ever was.
Your eyes widened at the realization of your own thoughts, glancing at him momentarily just to make sure that had been an inner thought and not something you’d voiced aloud. It was stupid — why would you ever think that in the first place? What was wrong with you? Perhaps the alcohol was taking over your system, your drunk thoughts wanting to have a real meaning so badly. But you weren’t in love with Taesan, no. You didn’t wonder what he was doing whenever you hadn’t seen him for a couple of days, nor did you write example text messages you never sent in your notes app. You didn’t notice how he’d stopped styling his hair back because you’d told him you liked it better when it was down, nor did you realize how often he smiled around you now because you mentioned how pretty his smile was. You didn’t space out whenever he was talking to you and stare into his eyes for way too long, thinking about how beautiful they were, just looking at you.
You didn’t do any of that.
Right?
“Do you want me to walk you in?”
You turned your head back towards him, then looked around, realizing that you were parked right outside your apartment building. You probably had been for a while now, considering Taesan had turned the car off and was looking at you expectantly, waiting for an answer. “Oh,” you spoke, straightening your posture. “It’s okay. I’ll manage.”
“You sure?” he asked, raising a brow.
You scoffed, “D’you want to or what?” Taesan stared at you, his expression blank for a moment, the joking smile you had on your face faltering for just a second. “Do you really?” you asked again, seriously.
“I mean, I’d probably sleep better tonight if I knew you got inside safely.”
What that fuck is that supposed to mean?
Han Taesan wastes no time in walking around to the passenger door and opening it for you, helping you, catching you as you almost fall face-first onto the hard concrete. You hear him laugh but you’re far too immersed in your own thoughts to say anything. Should you tell him why you were at the bar? Should you tell him that you couldn’t help it, that your feelings for Jaehyun were inevitable, almost like death? He deserves to know, right? He deserves the truth, right?
“Watch your step.” You seem to be teleporting because you can’t remember how you ended up on the stairs, almost tripping over the steps, Taesan catching your arm before you face-plant into the corner. God, this is embarrassing. What am I doing? “You drank more than you usually do,” Taesan commented, climbing the stairs behind you, watching your every move, ready to catch you again.
“What makes you say that?” you asked, your head pounding as you reached out to hold onto the railing. It was moments like these that made you regret moving into the twelfth floor of a decaying apartment building with no elevator.
“You don’t really cry when you drink, Y/N,” he said. “So I can’t help but think that you went there with the intention to rip your heart out.”
He’s right. You did. But you won’t tell him that.
“That’d be painful.”
“Well, you’ve done it before, haven’t you?”
Your legs hurt, your bones ache, and your head is about to fall off your neck. You stop walking and sit down on one of the steps between the fifth and sixth floors, leaning your head against the wall, trying to catch your breath. “Why would you say that?” you asked Taesan, looking at him as he stood on the step below yours. “Why would you remind me?”
“Are we gonna act like that wasn’t the reason you went to that bar?”
“What's your problem, Taesan?” You lift your head, narrowing your eyes at him, unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth. “What do you think is going on here? Why are you bringing this up? What do you want me to say?”
He stares at you, an almost-hurt look on his face. “What are you even talking about?”
“I’m talking about you! What’s wrong with you?”
He scoffs, “Me? Are you really in any place to be asking me that when you’re the one who’s still in love with some guy who doesn’t even bother to call you anymore? Some guy who’s married and lives on the other side of the globe?”
Han Taesan was never mean to you, or at least you never expected him to be. You figured he understood what you were going through, how it felt to have your heart crushed by someone you cared about so deeply. “He’s not some guy,” you said, staring at him like he’d just stabbed you. “He’s my best friend.”
Taesan laughed in disbelief, “Why do you still call him that?”
“Because he is.”
“I’m more of a friend than he ever was!” he yelled. Taesan had never been more frustrated in his life. He felt like he had to prove something to you, like if he didn’t open your eyes, everything he’d ever done for you would’ve never been worth it. “You treat me like shit all the time, Y/N! You called me in the middle of the night crying, begging me to help you and then you start yelling at me like I have no place to ask why the fuck you’re still in love with Jaehyun.”
“Why do you even care?!” you raised your voice. “Why do you care so much if I still love him or not?!”
“Because it’s killing me that you can’t see I’ve been in love with you this whole fucking time! You only want me around to play with my feelings and then you throw me to the side like I was never worth your time!” He looks away from you, running a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes. “And it’s not like I ever expected you to feel the same way,” he continued, his voice quieter now. “I just figured maybe you’d at least keep me as close to your heart as you keep that asshole.”
You couldn’t believe your ears. Han Taesan is in love with you, the worst person in the world? Why? Why would he be when he knew how terrible you were? Why would he be in love with you when there were so many better options always crossing his path, when he knew that you would probably never move on from Myung Jaehyun for the rest of your life? Truly, what is wrong with him?
Your head falls to your hands, the pounding almost becoming unbearable as tears fill your eyes, partly because of the pain but mostly because deep down, you knew. You knew he was in love with you — you just couldn’t accept it. Not when you knew that eventually, he’d realize you were the last person he wanted. “I do care about you, Taesan,” you spoke, your voice almost in a whisper. “I do.”
“You have a terrible way of showing it, Y/N.”
“I know, I just–” You sighed, rubbing the side of your face, looking at him. “I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t know what you want me to say.”
Taesan doesn’t say anything, mostly because he can’t look at you when you’re crying. But he feels the lump in his throat growing bigger and his heart clench from inside his chest as he grabs your arm and lifts you up. “Go home,” he says quietly, pushing you gently as you start climbing the steps again, still crying, your vision blurry. And for the next six flights of stairs, a heavy silence falls upon you, neither of you able to say anything. It isn’t until you finally reach the twelfth floor that you manage to push something out of your throat.
“Don’t hate me,” you said, your back turned to him as you pulled out your house keys, struggling to unlock your front door. You sniffle, the lock clicking as you finally get it open, twisting the doorknob. You hear him laugh quietly behind you, and though it hadn’t been long since the last time you heard him laugh, you already missed it.
He hadn’t even left yet, and you already missed him.
“I couldn’t if I tried.”
NOTE: how evil would i be if i just ended it here 😭 HAHAHAHA anyways it’ll probably take me a WHILE to write the next part cuz midterms and other personal stuff i have going on rn, but i hope you guys enjoyed “the worst person in the world”!!!! thank you for reading 🫶🏼
fake dating boynextdoor was easy–until it started feeling real
( 対 ) boynextdoor + fem. reader 1477WC · fake dating trope contains! fake dating, skinship, language / archive
은 : i'm going to try my best to be a bit more active on blr now that i'm on spring break >< i hope you guys enjoy this fic!! ily <3
myung jaehyun
when you ask myung jaehyun to fake date, he agrees to it immediately, flashing you that signature smirk. it almost worries you when you see the grin. you know he’s up to absolutely no good.
he treats it like a game at first, but you find the way he slips into the role so effortlessly almost unnerving. he throws his arm over your shoulder in public, calling you “babe” without hesitation and teases you whenever you get flustered.
“you’re blushing,” he whispers, lips barely grazing your ear as you try to keep your face neutral. “are you falling for me already?”
cocky bastard.
jaehyun finds your reactions entertaining, but there’s a strange possessiveness in the way he glares at anyone who talks to you, or looks at you a bit too long. he nearly punches a guy trying to get your phone number, and when you call him out, he just shrugs, claiming that it “needs to be convincing.”
he takes you by surprise by remembering little things about you, how you take your coffee, your favourite snack. he brushes it off with a casual “a boyfriend would do this.”
but the longer this goes on, the less it feels fake. you catch him staring when he thinks you’re not looking, his teasing flirty remarks losing its playfulness.
“you know,” he says one day, his voice softer than usual. “i think I might've forgotten to pretend.”
park sungho
sungho hesitates when you first tell him your idea. you tell him it’s a great idea; fake dating so that you can get your ex boyfriend back, and he can get back his ex girlfriend. killing two birds with one stone, you say. sungho’s not too sure, but he gives in after some begging from your side.
sungho isn’t sure why, but the thought of pretending to be your boyfriend makes him unreasonably nervous.
at first, he’s awkward–stuttering over pet names, clearing his throat when you hold his hand. but he still finds himself holding doors open for you, carrying your things without being asked, offering you his jacket when the weather gets chilly. the first time you kiss him, it’s on the cheek, and sungho practically freezes, ears tomato red as he tries his best to avoid your gaze.
“we should practice more,” he says out of the blue one day. “it needs to be convincing.”
you’re quick to tell him that you’re already being convincing, that it’s him that’s the problem.
sungho’s careful with boundaries, always asking, ‘is this okay?” before touching you in any way. but then things start shifting, there’s no denying it. he texts you good morning without thinking, lingers a little too long after fixing your scarf, gets defensive when someone asks about your relationship.
park sungho doesn’t realise he’s falling until it’s too late.
“i don’t want this to be fake anymore,” he says one night, standing outside your door whilst fidgeting with his sleeves. “forget about my ex, i want you.”
lee sanghyuk
riwoo finds the whole situation really fucking funny.
“fake dating? how desperately do you want that asshole back? yeah, i’ll do it, it’s gonna be so fun.”
yeah well, it's fun. for him.
from the moment you two announce your “relationship”, he plays it up like you’re in some kind of terribly cliche, terribly cheesy romance movie, throwing dramatic love confessions at random.
“my love, i would walk through fire for you!” he declares loudly in the school hallway, before snickering as you try your best to do damage control to no avail.
riwoo’s constantly teasing, winking at you in class and whispering stupid things like, “careful, you might actually fall for me.” just to see your face redden in embarrassment. but then there are moments when he tones it down, and it’s a bit too natural–the way he rests his head on your shoulder when he’s tired, or the way his hand absentmindedly finds yours.
“why’re you blushing?” he teases, but he’s blushing too.
the problem is, he never knows himself when he’s joking and when he’s being serious. he tells himself it’s just an act, just a way for you to get back your dickhead boyfriend who looks like a two out of ten. but he finds his heart stuttering when you look at him just right.
and soon, riwoo finds himself wishing the act would never end.
one day he turns to you, his usual stupid grin plastered on his face, but there’s something softer behind it.
“so, uh, what if we didn’t stop fake dating?”
han dongmin
when you ask han taesan to be your fake boyfriend to make you ex jealous, he barely reacts. barely even raises his head, murmuring, “sure,” as if you just asked him to pass the salt.
annoying little bitch.
but beneath his cool, nonchalant exterior (that’s what he thinks), his mind is racing.
he’s not the person for over-the-type gestures, but he shows affection in the smallest ways–remembering your favourite drink order, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, pulling you closer when walking near traffic. you applaud his for being boyfriend material and make a point to very loudly wonder why he’s never had a girlfriend before remembering, aha, his personality is shit.
han taesan insists he doesn’t care about pda, but if someone questions your relationship, he’ll kiss your cheek without a second thought.
“see? believable.” he says, ignoring the way his heart is pounding. he does it so naturally that even he forgets it’s fake sometimes. he texts you late at night to check if you’ve eaten and gets irritated when other guys get too close. but taesan’s stubborn, and he spends most of his time gaslighting himself that he doesn’t like you like that, brushing it off as just an act.
then one day, he catches himself staring, thinking how you look a little bit too pretty, hands itching to reach for yours.
“you said i’m boyfriend material, right?” he asks, catching you by surprise.
“yeah sure.”
“ok, well how about you give up on your shitty ex and we date for real? i’m like, hotter than him too.”
kim donghyun
leehan takes the whole fake dating thing very, very seriously. when you tell him about your ideas, he looks more determined than you, face serious as he says, “if we’re going to do this, we really have to sell it.” you end up having to ask him if he has an ex girlfriend he wants back, because there’s no way he should be this invested in the whole plan.
he makes you practice with him; holding hands, casual touches, so it looks natural. but the more you two practice, the more it starts feeling real. he’s always respectful, never crossing boundaries and always asking if you’re comfortable. but he’s a little too good at being a boyfriend. he ties your shoelaces when they come undone, carries your bag without you asking and smiles at you in a way that makes your heart ache.
“why’re you looking at me like that?” you ask one day when you catch him staring at you in the restaurant on one of your fake dates.
leehan just grins. “because you’re cute.”
it’s moments like these that make you forget this isn’t real. but then he starts getting flustered–hesitating before calling you pet names, looking away too quickly when you catch him staring. he’s the first to realise his feelings, but it takes him forever to act on them.
one evening, he exhales deeply before turning to you. “so… what if we kept dating?” he asks, nervous but hopeful. “for real this time?”
kim woonhak
woonhak is way too excited to date you. yeah, it’s fake, but he’s still technically dating you. he’s already planning out cute couple photos.
woonhak fully commits, calling you cute nicknames, being your personal hype boy, and practically beaming with excitement when you’re around.
you think he’s kind of cute.
“this is my girlfriend,” woonhak announces to everyone, holding your hand. “she’s so pretty isn’t she? yeah, well she’s super smart as well, and-”
he’s affectionate without realising–holding your hand, fixing your hair, resting his chin on your shoulder. it’s all a joke to him at first, but then he starts feeling weird.
why does his heart race when you smile at him? why does he hate seeing other people flirt with you?
“i’m not jealous,” he insists, but his pout says otherwise.
one day, you joke about breaking up just to see his reaction, and he gasps dramatically.
“if we ‘break up, i’m keeping the dog we don’t have.”
but behind the playful tone, there’s real fear. he’s known for a while now, this isn’t fake to him anymore. one evening, as you’re walking home together, he suddenly blurts out, “wait, you didn’t know? i fell for you ages ago.”
18. 한동민 posted: so, i guess we can’t be together.?
genres. lol just angst I’m ngl & small romance warnings. a lotta heartbreak and tears but it’s not red flag if that helps wc. 1.7k
TAESAN CHOSE THE RESTAURANT because it was warm.
That was the excuse he gave himself.
The lights were soft, the tables were spaced far enough apart that he didn’t have to worry about strangers listening, and the window beside your seat reflected the city in blurred gold lines. You liked windows. You liked watching people pass by when they didn’t know they were being watched.
You sat across from him in a sweater one of your new girl friends had helped you pick, sleeves properly ending at your wrists now. It was one of those details he still noticed too much. Clothes that fit you. Shoes you chose yourself. Hair tucked back because you liked the feeling of your neck being free.
You were becoming someone who belonged to yourself.
He should’ve been happy about that.
Instead, he kept staring at the menu like the words were going to rearrange themselves into something easier.
“Dongmin.”
He looked up.
You were watching him carefully, head tilted slightly. “You are quiet.”
He huffed a small laugh. “I’m always quiet.”
“Not like this.”
Of course you’d know. You always knew the difference now.
“I’m just thinking.”
“Bad thinking?”
His throat tightened. “Not bad.”
You waited.
He wished you still needed him to explain everything. It was cruel—maybe, to think that, but there had been a time when your confusion gave him more room to delay. Back then, he could say “later” and you would accept it because later was still a shape you were learning.
Now, you knew when something was being hidden.
Now, you know the difference between silence and avoidance.
The food arrived before he could answer properly. Steam rose between you both, briefly hiding your face. You smiled faintly at your plate, pleased by the warmth of it, and for one terrible second Taesan thought he might not say anything at all.
Maybe he could just let this be dinner. Maybe he could let you enjoy it. Maybe he could let himself pretend.
You picked up your fork, then paused.
“Are we celebrating?” you asked.
He froze.
“What?”
“You said dinner is for something,” you said. “Sometimes for hungry. Sometimes for sorry. Sometimes for happy.”
Taesan stared at you and his chest hurt.
“You remember that?”
You nodded. “This feels like something.”
He looked down at his hands.
It was so unfair, how much you had learned.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “It’s something.”
The sounds of the restaurant continued around you. Plates being set down. People laughing. A chair scraping somewhere behind him. Life moving like nothing was ending.
“I talked to Stella,” he began.
You brightened a little at her name. Riwoo’s cousin, who liked the same shoes you liked. Someone you got to know last week. “Stella.”
“Yeah. Stella.” He swallowed. “She’s going to Star Uni too.”
“I know.”
“And Riwoo said her apartment has another room. It’s close to campus, and she already said she’d help with forms and schedules and everything.” He spoke carefully, slowly, like if he arranged the words neatly enough, they wouldn’t cut. “So when school starts, you can stay with her.”
You looked at him. Your fork lowered slightly.
“With Stella?”
He nodded once, you blinked twice.
“But I live with you.”
There it was.
Taesan’s fingers tightened around his glass.
“I know.”
You stared at him for another second, waiting for the rest of the sentence. Waiting for the part where he explained that it was only temporary, or convenient, or because Stella was closer.
He couldn’t give you that.
“Why,” you asked slowly, “will I not live with you?”
The silence after that felt too large for the table.
He opened his mouth.
Closed it.
You watched every movement of his face, and he hated that he had taught you how to read him so well.
“Dongmin?”
He exhaled shakily.
“I got accepted by BND university.”
Your eyes changed.
Not understanding yet, but sensing the shape of it.
“To the university I told you about,” he said. “The one abroad.”
You were very still.
“The dream one?” you asked.
He nodded.
For a moment, your face softened. You understood dreams. He had explained them to you once as wanting something for a long time, even when it was far away.
“That is good,” you said quietly.
His eyes stung.
“Yeah.”
“Then why…” You looked down at the table, brows drawing together. “Why do you look…sad?”
Taesan laughed once, but it barely held together.
“Because if I go, I’ll be gone for four years.”
You blinked, and he watched the number reach you slowly.
Not as a number first. As distance.
As mornings without him in the kitchen. As lights you would turn off alone. As someone else waiting by the door. As someone else saying your name when you came home.
“Four years,” you repeated.
He nodded.
“You will come back after dinner?”
“No.”
“After summer?”
His jaw tightened.
“No.”
Your lips parted slightly.
“When?”
The question was so small.
He wished he could lie. He wished he hadn’t taught you what lies were, because now both of you knew exactly what it would mean if he used one.
“Not for a few years,” he said.
Your face crumpled before you could stop it.
Taesan saw you try to hold it. Saw the effort move across your expression like a hand pressing down on water. You looked away quickly, blinking too fast.
“Hey,” he said softly.
You shook your head once. Not at him—at yourself.
“I know,” you whispered. “I know dream is good.”
That broke his heart.
“I’m sorry.”
You wiped under your eye with the back of your hand, almost angry with the tear for existing.
“I know Stella,” you said, voice uneven. “Stella is nice.”
“She is.”
“And Star Uni is close.”
“Yeah.”
“And I can do forms.”
“I know you can.”
“And I can turn off lights.”
His throat closed. You looked up at him then, eyes wet and shining under the restaurant light.
“I can do many human things now.”
Taesan couldn’t speak.
Because that was almost the worst part.
You could.
You could live without him now. You had learned enough to survive the world he had pulled you into. You could eat without copying him, speak without borrowing his words, choose clothes that fit, lock doors, answer questions, keep secrets, lie when you needed protection.
You could do all of it.
And he still wanted you to need him.
He hated himself for that.
“I know,” he said, voice cracking. “I know you can.”
You nodded like you were trying to convince yourself too.
The food between you had gone mostly untouched. Taesan looked down at it, ashamed suddenly of the restaurant, the warm lights, the pretty table—like he had wrapped heartbreak in something gentle and expected it to hurt less.
“I didn’t tell you sooner because I was scared,” he admitted.
You sniffed quietly. “Of me?”
“No.” He shook his head immediately. “No, never of you.”
“Then?”
He stared at you.
“Of leaving.”
You went very still again.
He pressed his thumb against the side of his glass, grounding himself. “I wanted it for so long. Before you. Before everything. And then you came here, and suddenly leaving felt…” He swallowed hard. “Wrong.?”
Your voice was barely audible. “Then don’t go.”
The words landed between you.
Neither of you moved.
Taesan’s vision blurred.
You seemed to realize what you’d said only after it existed. Your face shifted—guilt, panic, love, all things you had learned too well.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered quickly. “That was selfish.”
“No.” His voice came out rough. “No, it wasn’t.”
“It was,” you said, wiping your cheek again. “Dream is important. You said.”
“It is.”
“And I want you to have it.”
He looked at you, and for the first time that night, a tear slipped down his face too.
You saw it instantly. Your expression changed, softened through the hurt.
“Dongmin,” you said.
He looked away, but it was too late.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
You reached across the table, hesitant at first, then placed your hand over his. Your fingers were warm.
“You are allowed,” you said.
He stared at your hand.
“To go?”
You nodded, though your mouth trembled. He turned his hand over and held yours properly. For a moment, that was all either of you could do.
Hold on.
The walk out of the restaurant was quiet. He paid. You thanked the staff because you remembered that was what people did. He nearly cried again at that.
Outside, the night air was cold enough to turn your breath visible. You stood beside him under the small awning, both of you not quite ready to move toward home.
Home.
The word felt cruel now. You hugged yourself, sleeves pulled over your hands.
Taesan looked at you.
“I’ll call,” he said, uselessly. “And text. All the time.”
You nodded.
“I know.”
“And I’ll come back when I can.”
You nodded again.
“I know.”
But knowing had never made anything hurt less. A tear slipped down your cheek again, quieter this time.
Taesan couldn’t take it. He stepped closer.
“Can I hug you?”
You looked up at him.
For a second, you just stared, like the question itself hurt.
Then you nodded.
He pulled you into his arms carefully, like if he held too tightly, he might make a promise he couldn’t keep.
You folded into him immediately with no hesitation.
Your face pressed into his coat, hands curling weakly at his sides. He felt your breath shudder against him and closed his eyes.
“I don’t want to go,” he whispered.
Your fingers tightened.
“But you will,” you said.
He nodded against the top of your head.
“Yeah.”
You were quiet for a long time. Then, muffled against him, you said, “I will miss you before you leave.”
Taesan’s breath caught and held you a little tighter.
“I’ll miss you too.”
The city moved around you. Cars passed. Someone laughed down the street. The restaurant door opened behind you, spilling warmth for a second before closing again. Neither of you let go.
Not yet. Not while he was still here.
Not while you could still pretend that four years was only a number, and not the shape of everything changing.
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ᅠ ✿ ᅠ NOT THAT I CARE OR ANYTHING ──── ᅠ ( han taesan )
𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀your ex, seemingly sweet anton, spreads malicious rumours about you that could potentially ruin your entire academic weapon career, so you have to take desperate measures𑁋and that includes a fake-dating contract and the bane of your existence, han taesan.
ᅠ 한태산 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 reader ⠀wc 13k ⠀ genre college au fluff angst if you squint one sided rivals to lovers academic weapon x campus crush ⠀ contains mentions of food vulgar words skinship pet names several ocs ⠀ note i’m sorry if this fic is.. all over the place a bit coz,, yea!! but this fic is highly.. self-indulgent.. heheh! and i originally wanted to make this more angsty but i’m already sad and single so, No! anyways, enjoy reading ^_^ ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net
ᅠ >︿ please leave feedbacks & reblog
“ALRIGHT. Let’s do it.”
As you gaze into Taesan’s determined eyes, the entire series of events flashes through your mind.
It was back in your first year of university—early winter, the day of the first snowfall. You were walking towards the three-floor library, the cold wind stinging your eyes. You rushed inside, grateful for the gush of artificial warm air that greeted you as soon as the doors closed behind you. The library was quite packed for some reason, and you could barely spot any empty seats.
You walked towards the edge of the library, a corner with the largest window of the level. There it was—one of the only empty seats in the entire library—but that seat was next to a boy, heavily occupied with his studies. Your pace slowed down as you hesitated. The boy had a focused blank look on his face, his headphones on, and several papers and notebooks were scattered on the table around him.
You felt like you wanted to just leave and go back to your room, but remembering how cold it was outside, you decided against it.
After taking a deep breath, you approached him. With a shaky smile, you tapped the boy’s shoulder, muttering a silent prayer.
“Excuse me,” you said as he lowered his headphones to his neck. “May I sit here? I-I mean, if it’s cool with you..”
He simply nodded. “Sure.”
You had sat down next to the mysterious boy for the entire day, not knowing that, in the present, he would be the bane of your existence.
In this moment, you’re brought back to the present, startled at how you’re standing in front of him. The mysterious boy that you had sat next to turned out to be Han “Taesan” Dongmin—KOZ School of Law’s campus crush. There’s almost nothing “bad” that you’re heard of him, yet, when you find yourself walking towards him with a fiery determination in your eyes—you immediately know that you’re about to get hit with something you’d never expect.
“A-are you sure?” you say, surprised to even find yourself stuttering. You’ve held yourself to such a high reputation—being your school’s academic weapon—you’ve worked hard to keep yourself true to that name.
Well, to be fair, you didn’t expect Taesan to even say yes to your ridiculous plan—given that all that’s he’s ever done for you is say everything that will get on your nerves.
Taesan gives you a smirk. “Of course,” he says, clearing his throat. “Being the boyfriend of KOZ Academy’s academic weapon isn’t something you get to do everyday.”
The way he presses the emphasis on the word ‘boyfriend’ makes you flinch. It reminds you of your stupid plan; who in their right mind would offer Han Taesan—your rival—a fake dating deal just to make rumours about themselves go away?
“Right,” you roll your eyes. “Anyway, I think we need to enforce some guidelines and boundaries regarding this… set-up.”
Taesan shoves his hands into his pockets, shifting his weight to let himself stand more comfortably. The smirk still on his face, he replies, “alright. Hit me with all of ‘em.”
You whip your phone out, quickly showing him a document that you spent an entire night typing out—complete with every single thing he needed to do for you.
“Here,” you say, frustrated at how Taesan’s smug smirk just never falters.
Taesan runs a hand through his hair before leaning down to read through the document displayed on your phone. He finishes reading it quickly, taking a step closer to you after. He doesn’t say anything for a while, only to startle you by abruptly saying, “I agree.”
“What–?” you blurt out, surprised once again. You thought that Taesan would be more picky than–
“Your terms are easy for me to do. However,” you narrow your eyes at the boy who’s towering in front of you. Of course he’s picky—he’s Taesan. “I’d like you to agree to my conditions as well. If I have to do some things for you, you’d have to do some things for me too.”
You sigh before nodding. How hard could it be? Besides, this whole ‘relationship’ you’re having with Taesan is merely a fake dating set-up.
“Okay.”
Taesan whips out a full-blown smug smirk, making you roll your eyes. He pushes his glasses up his nose bridge, holding out two fingers.
“First, you have to also put in the effort to make things real. Like, wearing my jersey when I have basketball games, and wearing my initials ‘round your neck,” he pushes his middle finger down, the smug grin still plastered on his face, “and secondly, you’ll have to let me kiss you anytime.”
The moment the word ‘kiss’ escapes his mouth, you choke on thin air.
Why is my plan backfiring on me?
“What? No–”
Taesan shrugs. “Basically, physical contact is allowed to be done anytime.”
You feel your face flush, immediately recalling the third condition that you showed Taesan. No physical affection unless needed.
“I’m afraid I can’t do that—it’s clashing with my third term.”
“But your first term: ‘the other party must always do his utmost best to make the relationship seem real’ exists, am I right?” Taesan objects relaxedly. “Then, my second term doesn’t clash with that. And I also do believe that that first term of yours comes before the rest. Am I right?”
You grit your teeth, sucking in a sharp breath. How could you forget? Taesan will always work to have the last word—be that in court or in conversations.
Plus, he’s not entirely wrong.
Though, you’ve never been someone who lets Taesan win willingly.
“Whatever,” you roll your eyes, your heart twisting in detest at the way Taesan’s face lights up with a smirk again.
“Then, we have a deal?” Taesan asks.
You stare into his dark brown eyes once again, registering what you’re about to commit yourself to. All just to get rid of your ex and the rumour he’s pulled you into.
You hold out your hand, Taesan gladly reciprocating.
IT didn’t hit you that you’re officially Han Taesan’s girlfriend that night. However, the next morning, right after the two of you signed the document at the coffee shop you always study at—it hit you like a million bricks from the sky.
You’re in a “relationship” with the person you loathed the most for the past year. The exact same man who everyone adores, who’s called the it-boy, the campus crush—is now your most “beloved”. Freshman you would rather jump off a cliff than to offer her nemesis a fake-dating pact.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess.
“Here,” Taesan hands you a velvet box—one that obviously contains jewellery of some sort.
Of course. Han Taesan’s always prepared.
You let out a deep sigh, knowing what’s inside. Despite that, you ask, “what’s this?”
Taesan gives you a grin, one that you always see him don during the countable times that he beats you in quizzes. “Open it—I’m sure you’ll like it.”
You run your fingers around the edges of the velvety box, sceptical at Taesan’s sudden soft tone. “Don’t talk to me like that,” you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.
Taesan, instead of immediately throwing a scoff in your face, simply leans back into his seat with a chuckle.
Not waiting for whatever reply he’s preparing to throw to you, you open the box. Your eyes lay upon a beautiful, dainty necklace with a “H.D” pendant, nested elegantly in the box. You bite back a gasp, though you’re unable to hide your surprise. The silver necklace is one of the most beautiful pieces of jewellery you’ve yet to lay your eyes upon—it’s dainty and simple, yet it screams elegance in the best way possible.
You look up at Taesan, obviously bug-eyed. “What- I’m- thank you?”
Taesan throws his head back, laughing. He perches an eyebrow up, clearly amused. “What am I supposed to answer? ‘You’re welcome’?”
Oh. It’s part of his terms.
You glare at him.
Not missing a beat, Taesan says with a big grin on his face, “what is your lazy ass waiting for? Put it on—or do you need me to help with that?”
You massage your temples, tempted to stick your tongue out at him, hissing the obvious at him—that you do not want to wear his initials around your neck.
“I don’t need your help,” you say between gritted teeth, harshly yanking the necklace from the box. You swiftly clasp the necklace around your neck, secretly surprised that you’re able to do so.
Maintaining a glare, you retort, “I’m only wearing this stupid necklace because it’s part of your terms.”
You throw your gaze elsewhere, Taesan laughing his stomach out in the background. Why is he finding your irritated state so funny?
The pendant feels cold against your skin, sending tingles. You gulp, feeling odd. You hadn’t announced your ‘relationship’ to your friends yet—but seeing you with Taesan’s initials could certainly start rumours.
A part of you is jumping with triumph—your plan is starting to set its course, while another part of you is afraid of it all. What if you’re finally not good at something, no matter how much you try—pretending you’re in love with your rival, the bane of your existence?
“We’ll start slow,” you hear Taesan say, pulling you back into reality. You quickly morph into your stoic expression—one that you find yourself often putting up around people. “Like everyone else does. Soft launch.”
“Ah,” you manage, nodding. “Sounds good.”
“Even though that necklace certainly is a big jump for a soft launch,” Taesan voices, chuckling. His words cause you to narrow your eyes at him, hyper aware of the cold metal against your skin—a mark that Taesan managed to place on you.
It’s all fake, you chant to yourself. Once Anton gets the message, it’ll all be over.
THE past few weeks had been a blur. Nothing was out of the ordinary—you attended classes, performed mootings and sent in assignments like usual. Though, only one thing that was out of the routine.
Taesan no longer felt like a thorn to your side.
You still hate him—you despise the way he carries himself, so proud and confident. You wish you could punch his face for the way he’s so smooth with his words, the way that his charm works on everyone so well. You absolutely hate the way a handsome idiot like him had the potential to beat you in every single subject if you slacked for even a minute.
Yet, to the public, he’s your boyfriend.
A cliche: rivals to lovers, they say.
Despite being the one proposing the whole fake dating plan, you had been the one following Taesan’s itinerary so far. The two of you had finally exchanged phone numbers, and at night, Taesan would always send a list of ideas on how to make the soft launch more obvious day by day.
The first week, you found yourself wearing tops that highlighted the H.D pendant, styling your hair to make it more noticeable—you even went as far as attending Taesan’s birthday celebration to top the chances of people noticing the pendant. And Taesan didn’t inform you of this one, but you often found him telling his friends, yours, or random coursemates to pass you drinks and snacks. You had no idea how Taesan had gotten the list of all your favourite things to munch on, but you secretly did enjoy the free flow of snacks. Anton had passed you a snack from Taesan too—five packs of your favourite Choco Pie. You couldn’t forget the bewildered face Anton had as he passed them to you, eyes filled with question and a hint of jealousy.
“What’s up with Han?” he asked.
You shoved the Choco Pies into your shoulder bag, biting back a smile. Who wouldn’t be jolly after getting five of their favourite tidbits?
“How would I know?” you replied bitterly. You quickly turn away from Anton, the uncomfortable feeling of being around him overpowering the bubbly feeling you had from getting snacks.
“Well, those Choco Pies are from him,” Anton repeated for the second time. “And I don’t recall him being anything but hostile to you.”
You suppress a scoff. “Maybe he’s had a change of heart? His brain is probably tired of coming up with things to try and outsmart me,” you muttered. As if.
“Well, if anything—if that asshole tries to do anything to you, I’ll… be here for you, Y/N,” Anton said, taking a step closer. Your eyes widened and your jaw clenched. You quickly finished packing your bag up, swinging it over your shoulders.
You said that last time, too.
“Don’t talk to me, Anton,” you responded as monotony as possible before running out of the lecture hall, not giving Anton even a glance.
The following weeks, Taesan was hanging out with you even more than the previous week. He wasn’t being too obvious, but to you, him walking slightly behind you and not throwing a loud sarcastic remark was already an apparent sign that would show everyone that your dynamics had changed.
Anton had found yet another chance to corner you after a Public International Law lecture. You stayed back in the hall to reread your theoretical essay before sending it in. Behind you, Taesan was packing up his things, busy scrolling through something in his phone.
“Hi, Y/N,” you froze when Anton’s voice reached your ear drums.
You look up at him with a glare. “What do you want?”
Anton flashed his usual pitiful, soft smile. “Nothing. Just a meal with you—this week has been quite stressful for you, right? I heard that last Monday’s mooting was rough.”
“You’re not even a law student, Anton,” you seethed. The KOZ School of Business student ID card hanging on Anton’s neck looked extremely out of place amongst the ocean of law students. “Please kindly get lost, go back to the Business building.”
“My course mates are boring. Besides, you’re more fun to be around,” Anton replied. “I know we… haven’t been on good terms, but give me a chance to fix it all?”
You gritted your teeth, your hands beginning to shake.
The audacity of this boy… where is my stupid fake boyfriend when I need him–?
“I think she clearly said for you to get lost, bud.”
You fought back a grin. Finally.
“Han?” Anton tilted his head. “Wait– who are you to tell me that?”
Taesan stood next to you, his backpack dangling from one shoulder. His height towered significantly above you, making you standing right below his shoulders—enough to match Anton. “Who do you think I am?”
Anton’s eyes darted towards the pendant on your décolletage, his eyes bulging. “What the…” you heard him mutter under his breath.
Taesan seemed to notice this too, and he swiftly pulled you close, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “So, get it now? Get lost, Lee, and give your ex some space. An ex is an ex for a reason.”
Anton then left with a fuming expression, leaving you in fits of relieved laughter after. You thanked Taesan, who simply responded with a polite smile.
“By the end of this, don’t forget the wish, yeah?” he said, before walking out of the lecture hall.
You stood there, blinking profusely. You had completely forgotten the last clause of your agreement with Taesan—once you were satisfied with his service, you had to grant him one wish. Anything that he wanted.
You face palmed yourself. Why didn’t you think twice before typing that down? You mentally made a note to yourself to prepare your wallet for the outrageous request that the thorn in your side would make later on.
Sophia’s question makes you almost spit your lunch through your nose.
“What?”
“Girl, don’t you dare pretend not,” Yunjin interrupts, pointing her spoon at you. “You literally have his initials as a necklace that you never take off! H.D., which means Han Dongmin, right? Isn’t that his real name?”
“It’s not like–”
“No, no. It’s so obvious! Taesan’s around you more now, and he even gave you a birthday present!”
Sophia smiles, “he looks at you so differently now!”
Yunjin laughs, nodding. “Yeah, yeah, that too, I guess,” she then looks at you, directly in the eyes, “I guess Han Taesan and Y/N L/N have finally begun their lovers era, huh?”
You feel your cheeks warming up, and guilt fills your chest. You draw a sharp inhale before telling the girls the full story. And subconsciously, your fingers find the pendant, playing with it.
“It’s fake,” you sigh, “I mean, not the necklace—he’s just pretending. I’m pretending, too. None of this is… real.”
Sophia gasps and Yunjin frowns.
“Are you… sure? What for?” Sophia asks.
Yunjin nods in agreement. “I’ve always thought that dude had feelings for you, but I… I didn’t realise it’s actually wrong and my deductions were totally off.”
You scoff, though Yunjin’s words left you wondering. “Taesan doesn’t like me—have you girls seen how he treats me?”
“He treats you well,” Yunjin states plainly, shoving a spoonful of rice into her mouth.
“No,” you immediately shake your head, “he hates seeing me happy! He always finds a way to stick his annoying nose into my life, mocking me. He’s like always, always there to only laugh at my face.”
“Then why did he agree?” Sophia asks.
“To what?”
“To fake date you,” she continues, taking a sip of her yakult. “Well, I’m sure you have a plan—a contract and all—don’t you?”
Your eyes widen. How do these two girls know you so well?
“Yeah. I do. I’m doing all this because of Anton,” the look on your friends’ faces makes you feel a little relieved, “I need him to shut up about me.”
You recall the ridiculous rumour you’ve heard about you from Yunjin, that’s been going around like crazy—the rumour that you used to date Anton because he’s rich and that you used him as a bribe to get outstanding grades. Those close to you knew that is and would never become true—yet people are always jealous of others who have certain things better than them.
It may seem like a small matter to some, but to you, it’s a matter of reputation. Your whole image and potentially, your graduation is at risk. What if the rumour reaches some professor and they report you? You couldn’t risk the huge amount of money and time you spent, only to be scrapped off the dean’s list due to some rumour.
Yunjin herself had recorded proof of Anton trying to turn her against you, using that rumour. If she hadn’t shown you the recording, you wouldn’t have believed that sweet, kind Anton was the one who spread those malicious whispers about you.
Now, you’ve got to end it all. One way or another.
You continue finishing your lunch, Taesan somehow in mind. By the end of your lunch, you’re convinced that this is truly all an act—it’s nothing real, and in the end, you’re both just people who hate each other and use each other for selfish, personal reasons.
“DO I really have to wear your ugly varsity jacket?” Dongmin hears you grunt through the call. He stifles a laugh, tossing a ball up and down.
“Obviously, you dimwit,” he replies, “you’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”
Dongmin lets himself smile. The word rolls off his tongue like a simple melody—it feels natural for him to say. He finds it odd, yet entertaining—your reaction is worth it all. Besides, it’s quite refreshing to take a break from hating you, sometimes.
“Besides, your ex is going to be there,” Dongmin reminds, his voice more throaty than expected. “He’s on the team as well, remember?”
“Yeah,” he catches your quiet answer.
“Anyway, how do you even have time for all this?” you question from the other end of the line.
“Hmm,” Dongmin hums, “I do have time.”
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” you hiss. “You’re in law school, Han Taesan.”
“What? Like it’s hard?”
Dongmin lets out a hearty laugh as he hears you gasp—one of the loudest and most genuine expressions he’s gotten out of you yet.
“I’m so done with you,” you huff. Dongmin hears you shuffle through your closet, most likely finding something to wear.
“You say that everytime,” Dongmin whispers to himself softly.
“Anyway,” you announce loudly, “you better have some food for me once I arrive—I’m wearing your stupid varsity jacket.”
“Alright, sweetheart, anything for you,” Dongmin jests in a sing -song voice.
He hears you yelp in disgust, chuckling. “Yuck! Fuck off, Taesan!”
IT’S a friendly match, nothing serious, Taesan had said; yet you’re here amongst other significant others, to watch him and his team play against another school’s team.
At the bleachers, you feel called out, and insanely out of place. Everyone looks so in love—girlfriends wearing jerseys with their boyfriends’ numbers and names on the back, painted their faces accordingly, and even cheering for them with their hearts; mothers and siblings gathering together to support their sons and brothers.
Everyone looks so genuinely in love, and you’re the only one who’s there just because you have to. You arrived only two minutes before the match started, too, because you obviously don’t love Taesan enough to be rescheduling your work shift to see him play.
You fidget with the edges of the varsity jacket you’re wearing, oddly feeling how it’s perfectly oversized on you.
Earlier, Taesan had spotted you sitting awkwardly on the bleachers. He ran over to you, quickly handing you a quesadilla and a cup of bubble tea, before jogging back to the basketball court to warm up. He didn’t say anything, nor did you—but the gesture made you feel weirdly fuzzy.
Taesan did actually get you some food, even though you grumpily yelled at him to do so. You thought he wouldn’t, just so that he could get on your nerves, just like he always does.
You watch him and the team warm up, pumping up positive energy with each other. You take a bite of your quesadilla, trying to ease your heart—yet you just can’t forget the real reason why you’re here.
Jersey number 35.
The whistle blows, indicating the start of the game, and you catch Anton’s glance at you. He gives you a wide smile, winking twice—a sign that he made up, thanking you for coming, just like the old days. You grimace, turning away.
The mission is to make it seem like I’m in love with Taesan.
You intently watch Taesan play in the arena, his moves sharp and powerful. He slips through the opposition’s defense flawlessly, scoring goals smoothly. Every time he throws the ball, it gets into the hoop—people erupt in cheers and he’s surrounded by his teammates.
And every time, Taesan looks up at you, flashing his signature smirk. His grin sparkles, lighting up the room—it makes you feel like you’re the only one in the huge arena.
It makes you feel odd.
Like there’s so much more under that grin he flashes to you every time he scores.
You touch the pendant on your décolletage, the cold metal stinging against your skin. Your fingers trace the letters—the initials of Taesan’s birth name—reminding you this is all a set-up. You’re supposed to pretend, and Taesan is pretending too.
He must be.
Taking a deep breath, you tug the varsity jacket closer to your body, shoving your hands into its pockets. The weight of Taesan’s name and number lay heavy on your back, yet you don a bright smile—trying your best to show your support for him.
Right now, you’re Han Taesan’s girlfriend. Player number 11’s girlfriend.
The match ends with Anton’s final goal, and KOZ Academy’s team wins 115-113. The entire gym erupts in waves of cheer and heartfelt hugs, every attending person feeling proud of their team, losing or not. You jog down the stairs, heading towards Taesan, whose height stands out in the crowd.
When you reach the end of the stairs, you notice Anton’s gaze on you. You glance at him, the weight of past memories dragging you down. At the end of these exact same stairs, you used to run straight to Anton, engulfing him in a hug after a match. You used to kiss his cheek, congratulating him for a successful game. You used to feel like your entire world revolved around him, and that you would be happy with him.
But that was in the past. Now, you can look at Anton with nothing in your heart. You feel nothing but plain resentment—damning him for the things he did to you. You had thought he was the love of your life, that you’d grow old with him—but Anton had other plans, and another girl that he prioritised more than you.
You turn your head away, directing your gaze towards Taesan. He’s talking to his friends, his hair wet from the sweat. He’s grinning proudly, talking about something that’s interesting to boys.
You sigh. Hopefully this whole set-up works—Anton leaves you alone, the rumours die down, and you can go back to bashing Taesan’s head.
And hopefully, you can move on, too. Once and for all.
From the corner of your eyes, you see Anton take a step towards you. Though, what you don’t see is that Taesan is faster. He waves at you, calling your name with a big grin, before running to give you a hug.
Your eyes widen upon the impact, and it’s like everything is in slow motion.
Taesan pulls away, ruffling your hair. His eyes crinkle with his grin. “Are you proud of me, darling?”
Darling.
You gulp.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
You give him a laugh, trying your best to not make it sound staged. Your nose crinkles at the smell of sweaty boys. Taesan notices, of course, and he chuckles.
“Sorry, I must smell bad. I’ll be sure to spray on some more deodorant next time.”
You gaze into Taesan’s eyes, his arms still around your waist. There’s some kind of softness behind his teasing look—something that you’ve never seen before.
A small smile forms on your lips, one that you’re unable to hold back. “Good job, Taesan.”
“Yeah?” Taesan laughs, his eyes forming crescent moons. “Thanks, Y/N.”
He then leans in to whisper, “that’s the first time I’ve heard that from you.”
You push him away, rolling your eyes. “Fuck off, Taesan. I’ll be waiting at the bus stop.”
Taesan laughs loudly as you stomp away. “By the way,” he yells, “you look good wearing my number, sweetheart!”
You lower your head, biting your lips to fight two things—the urge to flash the middle finger to the jolly Taesan behind you, and the weird fluttering feeling that erupts in your stomach every time he calls you ‘sweetheart’.
“Y/N,” you turn around, finding a panting Anton in front of you.
You’re standing in line outside one of the most famous pasta restaurants in the heart of the KOZ School of Medicine square, waiting to buy this one pasta dish you’ve been craving for the entire month. You didn’t tell anyone you’d be here—not even Taesan or the girls—so you’re weirded out by the fact that your ex found you here.
“...Anton,” you curtly acknowledge.
“Is it true?” he asks.
You force your eyes close for a second, wishing that it wasn’t wrong to beat someone up. “What?”
“That you’re dating Han Taesan. I saw him kissing your cheek last time.”
Your heart almost stops beating for a second. Almost two months have passed, and almost everyone in the entire campus of KOZ Academy knows that you and Taesan are finally getting tired of fighting each other—falling in love instead.
Your plan has passed the soft launch phase, and now, you’re having your nemesis call you sweet, adoring nicknames out in public.
“Yes,” you answer, managing a deadpan expression. “What about it?”
“Do you love him?”
You narrow your eyes at Anton, feeling like if he keeps on shooting questions like this, he’d go home with a black eye. “Why does it matter if I love him or not?”
“Because,” Anton starts, his voice beginning to waver with every following word, “you used to love me.”
His words hang in the air, thick with a known, cursed history. You could hear your heart stutter for a split second, but you shake your head, quickly suppressing the feeling. You take in a sharp breath, feeling the heat of old anger rise in your chest. You force yourself to look at Anton, eyes hardening.
“That was two years ago, Anton,” you say, your voice detached. “And you made sure to end it, remember?”
Anton’s face flickers with something—guilt, regret, maybe even a hint of fear—but you’re not interested in seeing it. You’re sick of it—too familiar with the way he can spin his words to make himself seem like the victim.
“You don’t get to do this,” you continued, lips tightening into a thin line. “You don’t get to just show up and act like we can pick up where we left off, after what you did with Mina."
Anton’s face darkens the moment your old best friend’s name leaves your mouth, but you hold his gaze without flinching. Anton opens his mouth, probably to throw another lame and poorly explained excuse that you’ve heard before, but you’re faster than he is.
“Save it,” you snap. “You don’t have any right to ask me if I love Taesan after what you did. You lost that right the moment you lied to me and slept with her.”
Anton looks taken aback, as if he hadn’t expected you to bring that up, but obviously, you don’t care. You’ve held your feelings in for so long—leaving them behind quietly to try and move on without a commotion. You’ve spent enough time letting him walk all over you in the past—you’re not about to let him do it again.
For a moment, Anton looks like he’s about to say something more, but you don’t give him a chance. You turn away, taking a small step back as you glance briefly at the line in front of you. “I’m done with this conversation, Anton. You should be, too.”
THE next morning, after your first class of the day, you sigh as you find yourself waiting outside of a rather packed coffee shop—allegedly Taesan’s favourite one—bundled up in Taesan’s scarf. Autumn is starting to give way to winter, and as it’s doing so, the winds and temperatures are getting crazier. You bury your face further into the softness of Taesan’s scarf, letting the mixture of champagne orange, passion fruit, and sugar vanilla attack your senses. It’s disturbing, once the fact that the scarf that’s warming you up belongs to Taesan registers in your head; however, you had no choice. Freezing your nose off was the only other option.
“Hey,” you hear Taesan’s voice, turning instantly towards him.
“Apple pie latte?” he says, handing you a warm cup of said coffee. Grabbing it from him, you perk your eyebrows up.
“How did you know?” you say, pushing the scarf down. Taesan shrugs, sipping his own drink. You glance at the sticker on his cup: cinnamon maple latte.
“Instincts.”
You snicker at his reply, rolling your eyes. “Cut me some slack.”
The two of you then walk back towards the law school complex, where both of your classes will be held next. The winds begin to blow, and you find yourself hiding half your face behind Taesan’s scarf. You squint your eyes, blinking harshly as the stray strands of hair sting them.
“I love autumn, but not this kind,” you mumble.
Taesan glances at you, and in one swift motion, he grabs your free hand and shoves it into the pocket of his coat. He interlaces his hand with yours, letting his body warmth transfer to you.
Your eyes widen, your brain slow at processing the situation. You whip your head towards the tall man walking with you, his expression relaxed as ever.
“What are you doing?” you hiss, trying to pull away.
Taesan gives you a look that yells ‘really, Y/N?’. “Keeping you warm?”
“I don’t need your help,” you retort, yanking your hand away.
Taesan grabs it back, shoving it into his pocket. This time, his grip on your hand is firmer than before. “I don’t need my girlfriend to freeze to death—it’s going to ruin my reputation.”
Realisation hits you, again, like a ton of bricks right at the face.
Oh.
“Okay,” you say quietly, letting him do his thing. You look away, deciding to admire the surrounding golden trees. You take a deep breath, reminding yourself of how this whole ‘thing’ with Taesan is temporary—and having a personal heat packet isn’t too bad.
Once the two of you reach the lecture hall together, people begin to clearly spectate. You pull your hand away from him, rushing to your usual seat. Taesan, his expression calm as he always is, walks over to his usual seat as well—directly behind you.
Then, two minutes before the lecture starts, the person you truly hated comes into view, and decides to sit at the empty seat next to you.
“Hi, Y/N,” your ex, Anton, greets you with the biggest smile on his face. You mentally sob—already dreading the three hours to come.
You turn away, scooting as far as you could. The memories rush like a flood you can’t stop—reminding you of the heart-tearing pain the boy sitting next to you caused.
“Y/N? You alright? You look pale,” Anton says, probing further.
“It’s the weather,” you reply dully, your lips downturned. You unravel Taesan’s scarf from your neck, placing it on your lap. Your eyes fixed onto the lecture, you ignore Anton’s attempts to get you conversing with him.
“Y/N, are you free after class?” Anton whispers, twenty minutes into the lecture.
“No.” You give him a side glance.
“And you don’t even take IT,” you fake a smile, “so I don’t think you should even be here. With due respect, get lost, yeah?”
“I’m honoured,” Anton whispers back. The soft smile on his face makes you gag. “You still remember things about me.”
“Oh, please,” you grimace, anger beginning to bubble up inside of you. “I’d rather make out with Taesan than remember even the tiniest bit of–”
You suck in your breath sharply, your cheeks flushing at an alarming rate. You had blurted your words out too fast to even register the fact that you’re actually wearing the said person’s initials in a necklace ‘round your neck.
“You’d rather what now, sweetheart?”
Hearing Taesan’s voice, you can almost see his smug smirk decorating that annoyingly attractive face of his.
Your eyes widen.
I did not just admit that.
You turn to Taesan for a moment, flashing him a sheepish smile. You quickly spin back to face the lecture, forcing yourself to focus.
After the lecture concluded, you find yourself stuck in a sticky situation—Anton just can’t let you go out.
“Do you want to go and grab lunch together? It’s pretty late for lunch, and I know your stomach gets upset easily if you don’t eat,” you wince upon hearing his soft tone.
You frown, hating the fact that Anton knows almost a lot of things about you. “No, Anton, I’m sure I said–”
“She said no, Lee, I’m sure even a stupid motherfucker can understand.”
Seeing Anton’s eyes almost pop out at the sight of Taesan next to you, you’re sure that you look the same. You turn sharply towards Taesan, who has his hand perfectly placed on your back. The look on his face is fierce and scary, like he’s about to completely destroy Anton exactly where he’s standing.
“Han,” Anton addresses him curtly. “I didn’t know that you’re on… good terms with Y/N.”
You fidget with the charm on your décolletage, collecting every bit of energy you have to maintain a stoic expression.
Taesan flashes a sly smirk, pride radiating from his eyes as the corners of Anton’s lips twitch. “Why? Is it important to you who I’m close to?”
“No, but given your history with Y/N—I don’t want her to get hurt,” Anton blathers, “so I’m gladly asking you to–”
“What? Fuck off?” Taesan scoffs. Your eyes bulge, somehow not expecting Taesan’s choice of words to be so vulgar. “I think that’s what you’re supposed to do, Lee.”
“Y/N,” Anton says, desperation vivid in his voice. He grabs your wrist, and you instinctively step back. “C’mon, let’s go. I know you don’t like this stupid asshole here–”
Before you could even act, Taesan steps in front of you, shoving Anton to the floor. The students who are still lingering around stop to look. You couldn’t hold in your gasp—Taesan looks extremely angry, you swear you could see fire in his eyes.
A thought clicks into your head.
Taesan is the it-boy, of course he’s good at acting.
You take a step back, weirded by the heavy feeling of disappointment that begins to cloud your heart as soon as you remember the arrangement.
It’s just acting, Y/N. Get it together.
“Don’t touch her, bastard,” you hear Taesan hiss before he turns to you. Anger still lingering around, you watch with silence as Taesan relaxes the tension in his jaw. In a mirroring silence, he gestures for you to follow him out. You nod.
As you turn on your heel, Anton calls out, visibly irritated.
“Y/N,” he says, “what’s going on?”
You give him a mocking smile. You swing Taesan’s scarf around your neck. “I don’t think I owe you an explanation, Anton.”
AS you and Taesan walk out of the lecture hall, you can’t ignore the heavy weight settling in your chest. It keeps replaying in your mind: the way Taesan stepped in, fiercely protective—it’s all an act, right? You sneak a glance at Taesan, but his face is unreadable, his jaw still slightly clenched from the encounter.
“Taesan… you didn’t have to do that,” you mumble, playing with the hem of his scarf.
Taesan exhales through his nose, his shoulders rising slightly. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at you,” he then adds under his breath, “fucking bastard.”
You blink, unintentionally slowing your steps. That’s… different from what you expected.
“Taesan,” you try again, but he shoves his hands into his pockets, picking up the pace.
You know you should just let it go, but the air between the two of you feels heavier than it was before. Was it just an act? Maybe it was—and that Taesan’s acting skills are as good as the rom-com actors—but something about the way he had looked at Anton; like he was seconds away from doing more than just shoving him to the ground.
It feels too… real.
A sudden gust of wind cuts through your coat, making you shiver. Instantly, Taesan grabs your wrist and pulls you into a nearby convenience store.
“Sit,” he orders, disappearing for a moment. You watch him move through the aisles, confusion twisting in your chest. You take a seat exactly where he ordered you to, your head fuzzy from the mixture of confusing, unnamed emotions.
When he returns, he kneels slightly, pressing a warm drink and a heat pack into your hands, his fingers lingering just a second too long.
“You’re hopeless,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “First my scarf, now this.”
You gasp dramatically, rolling your eyes as your lips twitch, your heart knocking against your ribs. “You’re the one who keeps giving me things.”
Taesan just hums in response, his gaze locking onto yours. His usual unreadable expression softens, something almost unreadable flickering in his eyes.
Your grip tightens on the cup, trying to shake off the way your body reacts to his warmth. This whole thing with Taesan was supposed to be temporary. So why did it feel like something had changed?
DONGMIN takes several deep breaths, his eyes shut. The jazz music plays in the background, and the buzz of the cafe calms him down.
No wonder Y/N likes this place.
Dongmin opens his eyes, finding himself staring at you ordering drinks and some food for the two of you. You had dragged him here as soon as you finished your drink at the convenience store, repeating that you needed to treat him to some food. Your voice rings in his head, telling him that he needed to follow you to the coffee shop, to cool off his steam.
“Do you like apple pie?” you ask, setting a plate of two slices of said dessert, accompanied by two scoops of vanilla ice cream.
“Why do you even ask if you’ve already gotten it? Seems like my preference doesn’t matter,” Dongmin replies, putting on the usual smirk.
Your eyes widen and he chuckles.
“Well,” you huff, “I like apple pie—and it’s impossible to find someone who doesn’t.”
“Alright,” Dongmin laughs, and it hits. His laughter dies down as the realisation sinks in—watching you devour your slice of apple pie like it’s the only food you’ll eat until the end of time.
Dongmin, as he puts a bite of his food into his mouth, realises how messed up he is. He realises how often a hearty laugh escapes him when he’s with you—how a flustered, frustrated mess you make him.
“Why are you being nice to me?” Dongmin asks. He pokes his fork absentmindedly into the crust of the apple pie, second guessing his question the moment it leaves him.
You and he had always, always been rivals—a pair that’s never meant to get along. He’d always find you muttering curses and throwing glares in his direction; and he’d always find himself trying his best to reciprocate your disdain for him.
Dongmin does hate you, too.
He hates how you’re so confident, so diligent, so talented. He despises how hard you work, how determined you are, how you seem to always effortlessly bring him down and defeat him in academics. He feels the most intense dislike for you—whenever you walk in the room, he feels like the world is about to explode, along with his sanity.
Dongmin hates, with a burning passion, how he can’t stop himself from falling in love with you. He absolutely loathes the way you smile, the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh, and the way you look at him—with such fiery determination that’s enough to knock him off his feet. He completely hates the way that he has to keep his tongue sharp, and his attitude insufferable, for you to give him a sliver of your attention. He perfectly hates the way it’s impossible for him to let you know that he doesn’t hate you, at all.
Dongmin watches you open your mouth to reply, yet you don’t for a few moments. You return his gaze, uncertainty playing around in her eyes.
“What do you mean?” you ask, tilting your head in confusion. “We’re just eating apple pie, Taesan,” you laugh sheepishly.
For the first time, Dongmin doesn’t have an immediate answer. He swallows the bite of apple pie in his mouth, unsure of what he should say next. His smirk fades and hesitation engulfs him.
You notice this, of course, and your frown deepens. Though, before you could do anything, Jaehyun—Dongmin’s friend, suddenly appears.
He greets Dongmin, patting his shoulder. “Yo, Taesan, long time no see! Wait–” he pauses, laying his eyes on you. “Wait, am I dreaming? You two? Sitting together? Laughing? Are pigs flying now?”
You immediately shake your head, laughing along with Jaehyun. Dongmin, on the other hand, is dazed. He stays silent, still unsure of what to say. He’s finding everything peculiar—the way he’s unable to say anything, the way that his heart is thumping loudly against his chest at the mention of you as his girlfriend.
He watches you politely say goodbye to Jaehyun, gaining certainty with every beat of his heart.
His little crush on you is resurfacing, after two years of pushing it down with faked hatred.
AFTER Jaehyun leaves, you let yourself sneak a glance at Taesan, who’s absentmindedly poking holes in his already destroyed pie crust, avoiding your gaze. You notice his oddly quiet state—the Taesan you know would never miss the chance to throw in a witty remark.
You throw him a glare, slightly hoping it’d make him knock out of his trance. You set your fork down with an audible clink. “You’re being weird. I mean, you always are insufferably weird, but this is even weirder.”
Taesan scoffs, lifting his drink to his lips. “And you’re being annoying. Paranoid.”
You cross your arms, an annoyed grimace forming on your face. “Am I?”
Taesan holds your gaze for a moment too long, something flickering in his eyes before he looks away. “Maybe not.”
Oh.
You lean back, sighing dramatically. “Fine. I don’t get what you being weird has with me being paranoid, but yeah, I’m totally being paranoid. Definitely imagining things,” you scoff sarcastically.
Taesan hums in agreement. “You do that a lot.”
You choke on air. Glaring at Taesan, you retort, “you’re infuriating.”
“And yet, here you are, sharing dessert with me,” Taesan smirks, tilting his head.
You pause, blinking profusely.
That… is a valid point. How did you even get here? You and Taesan are supposed to be rivals. Aren’t you supposed to hate each other?
Your stomach twists, and suddenly, you find it difficult to swallow your final bites of apple pie.
After moments of deafening silence, you say, your voice slightly wavering, “you’re unbelievably good at dodging questions, Taesan.”
You bring your drink to your lips, hoping that you sounded casual.
Taesan looks up from his finished plate of apple pie, smirking as he leans back. “Oh, yeah? Have you ever considered that you’re too good at asking too many questions, and it’s insufferable?”
Your eyes widen slightly, flickering to the way that his eyes glare vaguely at you. “Maybe I am,” you admit quietly, “but you’re dodging the real ones.”
Taesan’s smirk falters a little bit, just for a second, and there’s something unrecognisable in his eyes. Something you can’t put a name on.
Maybe a shift in the air. Maybe it’s just your imagination. Or maybe it’s because your heart is racing just a little too fast.
You’re so focused on trying to read Taesan’s expressions that you don’t notice the way your voice softens. “So… if this whole thing is an act, why do I keep feeling like you actually care?”
You mentally hit yourself. That isn’t what you meant to say—and it’s certainly not what you would say in front of Taesan.
Though, it’s out before you can stop yourself. The words hang in the air, heavy and uncertain.
Taesan freezes, his eyes widening with a vulnerability for a fraction of a second. Then, just as quickly as it came, his guard comes back up. “Like we’ve discussed before, it’s an act. Nothing more.”
His voice is stern and plain, and his expression is stoic, but you catch the tremble in his hand as he’s fiddling with his fork.
That, somehow, doesn’t sit right with you.
You learn forward, the pendant swinging against your décolletage, your expression more serious now. “Then why do you care so much?”
You watch him closely, catching the tightening in his jaw and the way his hand proceeds to rest on the table, fingers anxiously tapping against the wood. Taesan doesn’t answer immediately, and instead, he looks away to drift his gaze to the window.
Your chest suddenly tightens. He’s acting like this is nothing, but you certainly feel it—the crack in the walls you’ve both constructed carefully against each other. It’s a tug at the back of your mind, a repeating whisper you’ve been trying so hard to push away.
And yet, the silence between you feels louder than ever.
Minutes pass by and the silence gets louder and louder. You’re lost in your own thoughts—realising just how much you’re affected by Taesan; just how much more you’re feeling than you want to admit. In the silence, you’re wondering, are you just imagining all this? Maybe it’s just you, maybe it’s the fact that you’re finding something more from this fake relationship you have with Taesan, your nemesis.
Though, there’s something that you can’t deny: the fact that your chest tightens with fluttering butterflies every time he gets too close, every time his words shift to something softer than usual, it’s something that makes your heart trip in your chest.
“Y/N,” Taesan calls, his voice softer than anticipated, and you’re pulled out of your train of thought. You look at him slowly, uncertain and afraid of what’s to come. He pauses, as if he’s unsure of what to say next. “What if… I told you I’m not sure if I can pretend much longer?”
His gaze finally meets yours, and for a moment, there’s no mask—just the raw sincerity in his eyes.
Your breath catches in your throat, your heart skipping a beat. You open your mouth, trying to say something—but nothing comes out. The evident truth in his words hits you like an ocean wave on a sunny day, and you can’t help but feel something is shifting between you both.
THE next few weeks pass by like a ridiculously large time-skip in a movie. You’re doing things like you usually do—attend classes, do mootings, send in assignments, study for exams. Though, there’s one big thing in your life that you can’t ignore—Taesan, your fake-dating arrangement, and the lingering, unspoken tension between the two of you. The first week after the coffee shop episode, you couldn’t sleep even a wink—your mind kept on replaying the scenes over and over again, the way you caught Taesan’s guard almost falling down. You’re sure you felt it too, the cracks in the walls you’ve built against him—even for a short moment.
At school, you’re hyper aware and extra distracted by Taesan. He’s doing his part of the agreement well, acting like he agreed he would. Every glance from him feels like a load of unspoken words, and the air between you two feels heavy. Every day you ponder, unsure of what to do with the new, fragile tension that’s settled between you and Taesan.
Today is the same—everything passes in a blur of lectures, assignments, and studying. You drag your heavy footsteps out of the room, your head spinning at the thought of the many assignments waiting for you. You look up, and the moment you step into the hallway, you see Taesan leaning against the wall, phone in hand, looking as calm as ever.
You walk near him, and your eyes meet—you see a flicker of something there—a tension, a question neither of you have the answer to.
“Y/N,” Taesan greets you with a casual, unreadable smile. You pause in your steps, turning to face him.
“Hi,” you reply quite timidly. You’re trying to sound casual, but you can hear the slight hitch in your voice. There’s no pretending this isn’t different now. There’s no pretending you didn’t almost cross a line last time.
Taesan takes a final glance at his phone before shoving it into his pocket. “Still pretending this is just an act?” he asks, his voice surprisingly soft but laced with something familiar, almost teasing.
You pause, your breath stuck in your throat. Your heart, yet again, skips a beat, and you try to brush it off by laughing nervously. “Me? Pretending? I’m not pretending,” you say, and it’s directed more towards yourself than to him.
You’re not sure who’s trying to convince who anymore.
Taesan looks taken aback. He blinks profusely before putting his usual, calm expression back on. “Yeah,” he whispers, nodding, “I’ll see you around, Y/N.”
You watch him walk away, heart twisting in the weirdest way.
DONGMIN hates the way everything is now. Why can’t he just tell you everything? Why can’t he just tell you that he isn’t pretending, that he actually cares?
He wants to stop everything–going back to shoving insults at your face might be the safest option of them all. Yet, Dongmin finds himself caring for you in the little ways—wrapping his scarf around your neck, adjusting the placement of your bangs with a simple ruffle, placing a tin of coffee and bread in front of you whenever you seem exhausted with studying, sliding post-its to you with his handwriting reminding you to take breaks when needed. He still finds his heart racing upon seeing you; the way your lips pout when you’re deep in thought, the way you smile and laugh so adorably upon hearing a funny joke from your friends, the way you’re still so cute even when frustrated.
As he walks away, Dongmin fights with his own heart. Why was he acting like this? It’s so clear that you’re expecting something more, but why is he pushing you away?
Dongmin takes a deep breath. Yeah, he’s scared. He’s afraid that maybe it’s all in his head, maybe you’re the one acting so well and it’s just gotten to him.
Dongmin swears to get himself together, but it looks like he’s going to need more than just mental affirmations.
The next day, he misses his alarm, for the first time in forever, and is running late to his 9 AM lecture. He’s speed walking through students, dodging them with a bag hanging on one shoulder and his hair still partially wet. Just as he’s about to near the entrance of the Law building, he hears raised voices nearby. He puts his hood up, his first instinct is to ignore it all—he’s got no time to eavesdrop on people’s business. However, he recognises one of the two quarrelling voices—yours.
Dongmin’s steps come to a halt, and he turns to face you. His eyes slightly widen and his shoulders begin to tense as he sees you and Anton standing a few feet away, locked in an argument. He’s a bit too far away to hear the full conversation, yet he catches some bits of it.
You’re standing at your full height, stiffly in front of Anton, arms crossed and eyes blazing with fury. Anton, on the opposite side of you, no longer has that sickening, innocent smile—instead, he’s flashing you a mocking smirk.
The argument is already reaching its peak, yet Dongmin is quick to analyse the situation just by picking up a few bits.
“You think you’re really something, don’t you?” Anton taunts.
You scoff. Dongmin could tell you’re offended, yet the mask you put on really makes a difference. “At least I don’t have to put other people down to feel important.”
Anton scoffs back, “please. You act like you’re above all this, but you’re just as desperate for attention as everyone else.”
Dongmin clenches his jaw, watching the argument unfold as his fingers begin to twitch.
You give Anton a mocking laugh, stepping forward. “I don’t care what you think, Anton Lee. I don’t care if you think I don’t love Taesan, because what matters is my own feelings, not yours. And I’m done wasting my time on you.”
Before you could turn away and enter the building, Anton grabs your wrist.
It’s not aggressive, but it’s enough. Enough to make Dongmin see red.
Everything’s a blur—one second later, he’s towering in front of Anton, his eyes glaring daggers.
“Let her go,” his voice is low and threatening, as sharp as a blade.
Anton looks up, initially startled, but as soon as he sees Dongmin, he rolls his eyes. His hand still around your wrist, he says with a sneer, “look who’s here, Y/N’s knight in shining armour! Oh, so great, always the hero.”
Dongmin is too busy counting down the ways he could destroy Anton’s life to be noticing how immediate the warmth creeps up your cheeks. Dongmin, in one fluid motion, steps closer, standing between you and Anton.
“Did you hear me?” his voice drops deadly lower than before, his posture relaxed yet his eyes are dangerous. “Let. Go.”
Anton huffs, roughly letting go of your hand. He shakes his head. “You two are seriously something else,” he mutters before storming away.
You and Dongmin stand next to each other, cautiously eyeing Anton until he disappears from sight. For that moment, none of you say anything.
“What was that for?” you say suddenly, crossing your arms. “I didn’t need you to step in.”
Dongmin shoves his hood down to his neck, raising his eyebrow. Feeling slightly irritated, he scorns. “Yeah? Looked like you were having a great time.”
You roll your eyes, scoffing, but something pinches Dongmin’s heart as he notices there’s no real bite behind it. “I’m fine—I had it all handled.”
Silence.
Dongmin exhales sharply, words shooting out of his mouth without second thought. “I know. It’s just–”
He stops, his eyes landing on your wrist. Closes his mouth.
You wait for a few moments, before warily asking. “What? Just what?”
Dongmin hesitates. Suddenly, it’s all he can push out of his throat. He’s already there, halfway crossing the line he’s put between you and him for the past two years.
And then, it just… slips out.
“I just can’t stand it, okay?”
Your frown deepens, confused. “Stand… what?”
Dongmin lets out a frustrated breath, turning sharply to completely face you. “I can’t stand seeing you with people like that fucking bastard. I can’t stand watching you get into these stupid situations. And I really, really can’t stand how much I—”
His eyes widen, and his words stumble upon a stop. Dongmin stammers, realising what he was just about to say.
“Taesan,” you call, gently, hope suddenly shimmering in your eyes. “How much you what?”
Dongmin freezes. He’s silent, tongue frozen, unable to utter another word.
He can’t say it.
Instead, he runs a hand through his hair, muttering curses under his breath.
“You know what?”
“Taesan–”
“Next time,” he says quickly, in a softer voice, “don’t… waste your time on a guy like him.”
Your eye contact is still intact, you open your mouth to argue, but nothing comes out. Your eyes widen for a split second—as if you’re catching on to the feelings displayed, unknowingly, on Dongmin’s face.
His concern is real.
“W-we should go,” you stammer instead, gesturing to the Law building.
Dongmin nods. He grabs your backpack from you, signalling for you to walk in first. “Yeah. Let’s go.”
You force yourself to walk as swiftly as possible to the lecture hall, heart pounding, mind racing. Behind you, Dongmin’s entire body is tense. He’s finally realising he can’t keep his feelings for you hidden forever.
THE next day, you can’t stop thinking about Taesan—and whatever he was about to say to you. Your mind races with a million different thoughts throughout the day. What if he actually feels the same? What if you’re not the only one looking for something more in this fake arrangement?
However, given that exams are looming closer, you’re only given a short amount of time to dwell on your thoughts. After your last class of the day, you find yourself cooped up in the library, studying the rest of the day away. Several of your friends join you, too.
The study group grows, joined by both your friends and Taesan’s—though, you didn’t even realise that Taesan is sitting across you the entire day, until everyone starts leaving one by one.
By midnight, it’s only you and him. You don’t look up, but you can feel your heart thumping faster than usual. You’re hyper aware of your surroundings—how close he is, how his scent feels comforting yet intimidating, and how his presence is reminding you of something that you’re too afraid to admit.
“Y/N,” you open your eyes to someone gently shaking your shoulder, the reality of things crashing onto you all at once. You lift your head up, realising that you fell asleep in the middle of reviewing a past paper. Your eyes meet with Taesan’s concerned gaze.
His voice is low and soft, as if it’s only for you. “Let’s take a break. You’ve been snoozing off way too many times.”
Your heart is beating a little faster than usual, but you agree. Taesan’s request seems too casual, and he looks like he needs a break too.
You follow his lead, walking a little bit behind him to the convenience store that’s still open in campus grounds. He’s silent, observing you and letting you pick anything you want before paying for both your things and his.
“Go sit,” he says, holding your instant tteokbokki package in hand, along with his instant noodles. “I’ll heat these up.”
Taesan quickly moves to the microwave before you can say anything in retaliation, a sign that you take seriously. He’s not in the mood for any fights.
You take a seat, and soon after, Taesan joins you. He puts your instant meal in front of you, breaking your chopsticks for you.
“Here,” he says, his voice quiet. “Careful, the tteok is still hot.”
He then slips his coat around you before turning back to his own beverages.
You find yourself staring at him, long after he’s handed you your things. You watch him, peacefully releasing his tension—running a hand through his hair, chugging down a cup of coffee.
Everything around you looks like it has a blurred filter on, yet one thing is crystal clear: Taesan, and his evident care for you. The longer you stare at him, the more you realise.
He’s always been the one. He’s always been there.
It hits you harder than any bad grade has ever done.
Taesan has always been like this—quietly looking out for you, quietly caring for you.
All this while, all the banter, the little arguments, moments, and glances—it’s not just rivalry. It’s not just the fact that he always finds a way to make you all grumbly and irritated. It’s not just the fact that, even back when you were with Anton, he’d always find a way to show his care for you.
It’s not just the fact that you enjoy his company, even if he makes you feel like you want to bang your head against the wall.
You like him.
You like Han Taesan.
You quickly turn your head away, blood rushing to your head as soon as the realisation hits you. You stuff a few bites of instant tteokbokki into your mouth, wanting to quickly get rid of whatever this warm, refreshing feeling is.
“Can you stop looking at me like that, L/N?”
You cough, shocked at how his sudden comment breaks through the almost comforting silence. All the past moments you’ve had with him—the banter, the insults, the arguments—run through your head as soon as your last name, what Taesan had always called you, reaches your ears.
“Like what?” emboldened by the awakening of your feelings, you retort, your tone more challenging than you intended.
Taesan snaps, pushing his chair back, raking a frustrated hand through his hair.
“Like I’m your fucking boyfriend.”
“What?” you’re confused, not expecting that out of his mouth. “What are you–”
“Like you’re waiting for me to say something that I know I can’t take back.”
“Say it, then.”
You say, challenging him. It feels sentimental—like the old days, where all you did when you met Taesan was throw taunting words at him. But at the same time, the words come out of your mouth without realising—daring the two of you to finally cross the line.
“I like you, okay? I probably love you at this point, I don’t know. I don’t know when it started, but I do. And I—” He exhales sharply, his voice softer. “I don’t want to keep pretending I don’t.”
The world stops spinning and you stare at him, blank.
Your tongue feels numb, your heart racing at a million miles per hour.
You feel the same, you’re sure, but you don’t know how to respond. Do you smile and say it back? Do you tease him, calling him an idiot like you always do?
“I didn’t mean to fall for you,” you catch Taesan muttering.
You smile. “Me too,” you say softly.
Taesan lifts his head immediately, sharply turning to you with widened eyes. “... pardon?”
THE next few days feel like a refreshing spring breeze in the peak of winter, yet the air is filled with a cute awkwardness. After the confession, neither of you explicitly announce to one another that the two of you are a real couple now—yet your interactions feel new and unscripted, but no one exactly is making the first move.
Of course, your friends notice before the two of you do.
You’re sitting at the food hall together with Yunjin and Sophia, eating breakfast. You’re halfway through your pancakes, and Taesan—or Dongmin, as you call him now—suddenly takes a seat next to you.
“Mind if I join, girls?” he asks, a charming grin on his face. He’s asking the table, yet his gaze is directed to you. You bite your lip shyly, nodding.
“Sure, make yourself at home,” Yunjin says, her words laced with teasing. She watches with eagle eyes as Dongmin puts all of the sliced bananas from his serving of pancakes onto yours, knowing that you especially enjoy them with your breakfast pancakes. She snorts at the obvious look of love in Dongmin’s eyes, more evident now that he isn’t shoving insults at your face. “So, you two are really dating now?”
You choke on your bite of pancake, immediately blurting out,
“No!”
“Yes.”
You sharply turn to Dongmin, who has a smug look on his face. It’s the one look on his face that you’re used to, yet there’s a tint of pink on his cheeks. The edge of his smirk twitches, threatening to form into a cute, lovesick smile.
“...I see,” Sophia interrupts your awkward eye contact, sighing dramatically.
“We’re dating?” you ask Dongmin acutely, your brows connecting in an embarrassed frown.
“I don’t know,” Dongmin shrugs casually, the look in his eyes teasing. “Are we?”
The blush that instantly creeps up your cheeks tells you the answer. You look away, suddenly focused on the way you’re cutting your pancakes. Dongmin’s laugh echoes to your left, and your friends’ send you teasing looks.
A few months later, on the first week back after winter break, you go on a walk around campus with your boyfriend, Han Dongmin. It feels weird, calling him yours now. Just almost half a year ago, you were fighting your ego to have your nemesis fake-date you in order to intimidate your ex into leaving you and your life alone. Now, that same thorn in your side has become the light of your life, the apple of your eye. Now, the two of you are in something that’s not written on a flimsy contract.
Dongmin had also helped clear out the rumours surrounding you—in the most annoying, Han Taesan way—announcing the truth about Anton by spreading it like a rumour to everyone. You still get second-hand embarrassment remembering that day, bombarded by questions and apologies from acquaintances and people you’ve only seen around.
“You know,” you say dreamily, distracted by your train of thought, “you’re so annoying—but I love you.”
Dongmin freezes, his steps coming to an immediate halt. You, too, freeze in your steps as you realise you’re a few steps ahead of him now. You turn around, eyebrows perked up.
“What’s wrong, Dongmin?”
Dongmin.
The sound of your voice calling his birth name repeats in his mind, like a favourite song on loop. He stares, unable to say anything. His eyes fall on the pendant dangling from your neck, one that you started wearing due to the fake-dating arrangement. He remembered insisting that you take it off, so that he can buy you a new one later, but you said that it’s special so you won’t take it off.
I love you.
Dongmin feels a smile slowly bloom on his face.
She said it. She didn’t even hesitate. It’s like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
His face softens, jogging up to you. He gives you a cheeky smile.
“Say that again.”
You frown. “What again?”
“The first part.”
“What–” you pause, eyes widening as you get what he’s talking about. Heat rushes up your cheeks, warming your face despite Dongmin’s scarf wrapped around it. “I–”
“Yeah,” Dongmin says, smirking as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “Me too.”
You bury yourself into the familiar scent of Dongmin’s scarf as he kisses your cheek.
“Fuck you, Han Dongmin,” you grumble, ignoring the obvious butterflies in your stomach.
THAT weekend, you and Dongmin are eating lunch together at your favourite coffee shop. Dongmin had said that the vibes there makes him sleepy, and tried to bring you to eat at one of the more famous restaurants near the KOZ School of Engineering, yet the plan backfires on him when the line is certainly too long.
Now, the two of you are back at your favourite coffee shop, sipping warm cinnamon lattes.
“See?” you tease, smiling cheekily. “I told you this place is the best.”
Dongmin rolls his eyes, taking a big spoonful of the chocolate cinnamon roll on your plate. “I want to eat some real food, like kimchi jjigae, not these sweet chocolate desserts,” he complains, though he can’t hide the fact that he secretly loves it.
“Yet you’re the one finishing my cinnamon roll,” you retort, letting him subconsciously finish your dessert. You’re familiar with his love for chocolate.
Dongmin flashes you an innocent smile, shrugging. “Not my fault.”
Comfortable silence engulfs the two of you, letting you bask in each other’s presence. Suddenly, Dongmin leans closer, adjusting the place of the H.D pendant on your décolletage. Frozen, you watch him lean back into his seat, smiling as he admires you.
“You look good today,” he murmurs, “actually, you look good everyday.”
An undeniable tint of pink colours your face. “I’m literally wearing a black turtleneck sweater, Dongmin.”
His gaze softens. “Like the first time you sat next to me, three years ago, during our foundation year.”
Your eyes widen, your mind replaying the memory, fresh like it happened yesterday.
“You… remember?”
“Of course,” Dongmin replies, his smile delicate.
“I even remember the day you walked up to me, confident and all. I thought you were going to brag to my face that you won first place for the quiz we had the day before, but then you told me to fake date you.”
You almost spit out the coffee from your mouth. “Han Dongmin!” you hiss. “Don’t remind me… it was so stupid.”
“Stupid?” Dongmin asks, tilting his head. The signature cocky smirk is back on his face. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yeah…” you sigh, “I mean, I could’ve resolved the matter by myself, you know–”
“But you know that I’m the best option,” Dongmin cuts you off, smug. You roll your eyes.
“I don’t think it’s stupid, though,” he continues, his expression softer. More… raw. “To be honest, I think I was ecstatic that you walked up to me that day.”
“Why?” you ask croakily.
“‘Cause I’ve always liked you, Y/N. I always have. I just don’t understand where things went wrong—maybe it’s the way I thought teasing you would gain me your attention at first. It did. But then, you became used to my teasing and thought of me as a threat—maybe ‘cause I’m smart as hell, too—but yeah. I don’t know how to say it but, all of that hatred was… pretend.”
You blink at him, too shocked to process his words. You try to reply, but mere stuttering comes out, and your face turns bright red.
Dongmin notices this, of course, and he turns on his shameless, impudent grin. “Besides, you said you’re going to grant me any wish that I have, right?”
Oh.
You inhale sharply. How could you forget? You immediately bring out your phone, checking the balance in your bank account. It’s quite a luxury, due to you working a few part time jobs during your break and whenever you can—but you certainly don’t think it’s fit for whatever grand wish Dongmin is about to demand from you.
“Fine,” you huff, “only because it’s part of our… old contract.”
“Old contract, huh?” Dongmin wheezes, already laughing hard. You frown, fighting back a smile.
“Why are you always laughing whenever I speak, dumbass?”
“Hey,” Dongmin pauses his laughter, flicking your forehead gently. It doesn’t even hurt, but you gasp dramatically, and he laughs it off. “It’s babe for you, sweet girl. And, I’m not laughing at you. I’m just admiring how cute and funny you are.”
Babe, huh?
You snort, hiding a smile. “Fine.”
“Anyway, speaking of the old contract,” Dongmin grins, “what’s the new one, then?”
“You haven’t even told me what sort of dumb, overpriced thing you want for your wish,” you say, lips set in a grim line. “And now you want another one?”
“My wish, huh?”
The unreadable look on his face makes you brace yourself and your wallet.
“Then, my darling, this is my wish.”
Dongmin leans forward, brushing his lips against yours. It’s subtle, short and sweet, but significant enough for you to realise it all—the reality of your feelings and his. He lingers for a while before sitting back in his chair.
“So,” he says coolly, ignoring the plain blush streaked across his face. “Can you grant me the wish? To kiss you anytime, and anywhere I want?”
“Basically, physical affection can be done anytime?” you say, quoting what this man in front of you said months ago, when both of you first agreed on the fake-dating situation. The whole absurd set-up that brought the two of you to where you are, today.
Dongmin laughs, clearly impressed. “Yeah,” he nods.
You give him a warm smile, glad that you’re finally able to follow your heart’s desires, and to not put up a wall of defense around him anymore.