maybe a little basic but for the writing prompts i'd love to see your take on julien realizing he's in love with occtis. there's no way that he's normal about it lol
this actually got WAY longer than I expected, so I hope you enjoy!
It’s Thimble who brings it to his attention, because of course it is. Julien may have developed a grudging respect for the pixie as they have traveled together, but he’s still fairly certain she exists on this plane simply to torment him at every possible opportunity.
Right now, she’s in her smaller form, flying next to his head like a particularly insistent insect. They’re on a scout mission, away from the rest of the group, but not one that requires stealth, so she feels free to chatter. “So,” she chirps, and Julien mentally braces himself; he rarely enjoys her preferred topics of conversation. She talks about Thjazi far too much.
He’s not the one on her tiny mind today, evidently. “You’re really protective of Occtis, huh?” Julien can feel her intent gaze on the side of his face, though he has no idea what it is she’s looking for.
Mention of the undead wizard of their group brings immediate images back of their last skirmish. The boy putting himself in harm’s way to get close enough to cast a spell, Julien shielding him when the beast they were fighting would have speared him through the back with its claws. It’s not the first time he’s done it. The damned fool seems not to care about his continued existence, so Julien makes sure he doesn’t end up fully dead.
“I wouldn’t think you’d be complaining. He needs to be protected,” he grumbles in response, shooting Thimble a sidelong glare. “He’s almost as reckless as—“
“You?” She counters with a taunting grin, and Julien barely resists the urge to flick her out of the air.
“Or you, or the wild man,” he retorts instead, voice tight. “You’ve been bad influences on him.”
“I don’t see you putting your ass on the line to protect me or Kattigan, though.” Julien stiffens a little. Of course he’s not going to try to protect them. Thimble is a shockingly ferocious fighter, stronger now with Callowyn’s bracers and her human-sized form. Kattigan might be a mess, but he’s capable as well, and far from fragile. Occtis is… different.
There’s nothing strange about it. Julien is a vassal knight, defending the closest thing they have to a noble in their motley band. Occtis is dangerous in his own way, but physical altercations are not his strong suit. He could be brought down far too easily, and Julien intends to keep that from happening at whatever cost.
Thimble, greatly daring now, lands on his shoulder, grabbing a hank of his hair to steady her as Julien goes to shrug her off. “I would’ve thought you’d be glad to see him dead. Do you like him or something?” There’s a too-amused glee in his voice, and Julien growls out a curse, raising a hand to brush her off. She leaps back into flight before he can, buzzing in front of him, hovering just at eye level. “You’ve never gotten that protective of anyone but Lady Aranessa!”
He doesn’t have a coherent response, just another snarled curse as he tries to knock her out of the air. Damn her dextrous hide, she keeps avoiding him, but at least she shuts up, too busy dodging and flying ahead of him to say anything more.
She has no idea what she’s talking about, anyway. Julien is just doing what’s tactically best for their group, and what he’s been trained to do, acting as a sword and shield, even if it’s for someone not his liege lady. There’s nothing else to it.
He’s determinedly not thinking about Thimble’s insinuations the next time they’re in battle and he almost instinctively shoves Occtis behind him to take a sword blow intended for the necromancer.
He’s not thinking about them when Occtis hovers over him afterwards and patches him up, what little healing magic they have expended for the moment and the party having to rely on more common means.
He’s not thinking about them when he keeps his eyes on the boy as they skirt too close to an encampment of Seremai soldiers, and old terror begins to surface in his eyes at the sound of a familiar voice of one of his siblings among the serpent knights.
He doesn’t like Occtis Tachonis in any conceivable way, particularly not the juvenile, romantic way Thimble was implying. The boy is… capable. Clever. Not at all like the rest of his family, and clearly not complicit in their crimes. Julien… respects him. But he doesn’t care in the least about him.
He doesn’t care, he reminds himself as a strike of poisonous magic sends Occtis toppling and a spear of panic lances through Julien’s chest. It’s just the adrenaline of a fight and the worry of losing a capable ally. That’s the only thing that has his heart beating faster and his temper raging until he cuts down the Seremai fuck who flung the vicious spell. He doesn’t care as he barks out an order for Kattigan to heal the wizard, who lies crumpled and unmoving, skin tinged a sickly green. He doesn’t care as he goes to check for a pulse that logically he knows isn’t there, barely stopping himself.
Thimble hovers over them, worried, but there’s something knowing in the look she casts Julien, too. Then Kattigan is casting a Cure Wounds, and Occtis is stirring, and Julien pulls back before anyone can ask any fucking questions.
Whatever Tachonis sibling was here is gone before he can reach them, and Julien remains in a foul temper for the rest of the night. His gaze keeps sliding to Occtis, though, still looking shaky and unwell in the aftermath of the poisoning, and he swallows his more vicious words and complaints. But he doesn’t care.
Occtis almost kills himself healing Julien in the midst of a battle, and the moment they are free of it, he rounds on the boy, backing him into a corner. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
The wizard is still on his feet, if barely, but temper flashes in those eerie green eyes. “You could have died. Am I supposed to apologize for keeping that from happening?” His voice is firm, but Julien can see the slight shakiness in his hands, the way his tall form slumps in exhaustion.
“I am an acceptable loss. You could have died with that spell. That is not—“ Julien abruptly loses whatever reasoning he had as Occtis’ gaze pins him, brows furrowed, confused, searching.
He has never noticed how well he’s come to read and comprehend every expression that crosses the other’s face, every slight twitch of a lip or lift of a brow. Julien has been watching him for so long, silently cataloging and memorizing without realizing he was doing so.
“Why?” A single word, sharp as a dagger. “Why are you an acceptable loss and I’m not? Why do you care, Julien?” It’s not the first time Occtis has asked him that - and part of him still regrets how he responded the last time, outside of Obrimus Manor so many weeks ago. He let the other continue to believe that there are only two people in this world who care about him, and that’s—
But he doesn’t care. Does he?
It doesn’t make any sense. Occtis is a fucking Tachonis, he’s a weird little undead wizard with a strangely macabre sense of humor and a pet fox made of fox corpses, he’s—
Julien can’t stop protecting him.
He can’t stop looking at him. Watching him, following him like the second shadow he swore he would be. He can’t stop wanting to keep him from more harm than has already been done to him, to avenge what his family has done to both of them. He doesn’t know when the offense against Occtis was folded in with his own motives for vengeance, but it feels… right, natural, like it has been that way all along.
It’s insane. It’s insane, and it’s painful, and the worst part of all of it is that Thimble was right.
“I just… do,” he manages to get out numbly, and he watches surprise register over those gaunt features. It’s a better answer than his last one, maybe, but Julien still can’t find words to make sense of all he’s just realized.
Fuck. He needs a drink, he needs sleep, and he needs to get miles away from a certain pixie before she starts fluttering around his head saying ‘I told you so.’
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