(Inspired by my favorite song by the Beatles, “I Want to Hold Your Hand”)
Dean and Cas had been driving for over eight hours before Cas broke the silence.
“Can I put on some music?”, Cas asked, nervously.
Dean looked at him confused. “Like the radio or a tape?”, he inquired, shifting his head to look better at Cas in the passenger seat.
“How about the mixtape you gave me?”, Cas asked as he pulled it out of one of his trenchcoat’s pockets. Dean couldn’t believe that Cas kept it in his coat. Cas values it so much that he carries it around? Does he carry it on hunts? Or did he just bring it for the car ride? Has he already listened to it? Does he like it? Is he reading too much into this?
Dean silently shook his head as an attempt to get rid of his thoughts before he tried to suavely say, “Sure”. It came out more like “Umm…Sure-…”, which left Dean thinking about if Cas was reading into this like he was.
His palms, so unconfidently, sweated and he quickly tried to wipe them on his jeans as Cas put the tape in.
The tape is about an hour long, mostly filled with artists of the likes of Led Zeppelin, Metallica, Don McLean, and Kansas.
It was going pretty well. Cas seemed to be enjoying it, knowing every word and singing along with every song. Dean started to loosen up, realizing that he was in the presence of his friend, who, although he wanted them to be more, was still the best friend he ever had that would stay by his side regardless of what happened.
All was going pretty well, until the last song came on. Dean instantly clenched up, sweat starting to form.
“Oh yeah I tell you somethin’, I think you’ll understand…”, rang out from the speakers and Dean gripped the steering wheel harder than anyone should. This was the song he agonized over and almost didn’t put it on the tape. This song.
Cas got quiet and slowly started to sway as much as he could to the beat with his seatbelt on with a peaceful face, not seeming to care much at all.
The chorus rang out, “Yeah, you got that somethin’, I think you’ll understand, When I say that somethin’, I want to hold your hand…”. Cas started to quietly sing along and then did something that Dean never expected in a million years.
Cas reached at one of Dean’s hands and pulled it towards the space between them, softly holding Dean’s hand like it was something precious.
Even better, Cas started to serenade Dean, singing the chorus louder, “I want to hold your hand, I want to hold your hand…”. Dean couldn’t believe it.
Finally, the song ended and the tape was done. Dean expected Cas to drop his hand. He was probably just too caught up in the song. It was an accident, right? No feelings behind it at all.
Cas didn’t drop his hand. He held it tighter and even brought it up to his face to kiss Dean’s ring finger.
“I love your gift and I love you even more than you could ever imagine”, Cas whispered.
Dean pulled the car over slowly, as to not untangle their hands, and pulled Cas’s face into his hands. He looked over his beautiful face, with his blue eyes and high cheekbones and wide, pink lips. He was the most beautiful thing Dean would ever see in his life.
Cas shook his head yes and Dean kissed him like there was no tomorrow. He was so, so happy that he chose to put this as the last song on the mixtape.
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