notes: hello hello! long time no see! sry i disappeared for a bit, school has been ROUGH. i hv a bit of a mini-break w a four-day weekend, so i figured iād get back into writing. this idea came to me out of nowhere while i was at work yesterday, and as soon as i got home, i sat down to write it lol.
also, i wanna mention that iām not trying to justify any of quinnās actions, but rather trying to offer a different perspective on him. the morals in this mini-fic r v grey and muddied, if that makes sense. but if that doesnāt bother u, i hope u enjoy.
pairings: references to a past romantic relationship w quinn & darlinā, references to a present romantic relationship w sam & darlinā
pov: darlinā ā first person limited
word count: 2,821
!!! TWs {{these begin under the cut}} !!! brief but slightly graphic descriptions of violence & references to a past abusive and unhealthy romantic relationship. please do not read if either of these topics are triggering to u.
Quinn stood in front of me, his hands rested at his sides but his back was unnaturally straight. My hands were in tight fists, an attempt to slow down my heartbeat. I knew it was pointless; there was no doubt he could hear it pounding from within my chest.
The forest was quiet tonight. The only sounds that could be heard were the slight rustling of dead leaves and the distant hum of cars. The moon was full, its dim light splashing onto the forest floor.
When I had detected his scent, I had crouched, expecting him to spring. But he hadnāt. He had slowly walked into this small clearing alone, and quiet whispers had fallen from his lips telling me that he wasnāt going to hurt me.
The part of me that still loved him had me standing up straight.
I met his eyes now, my brows furrowed. āHi.ā
The simple greeting brought a relaxed smirk to pull at the corners of his mouth. āHello.ā
āAre you going to kill me?ā The question flung its way out of my throat, and I almost clapped my hand over my mouth before squeezing my fists again.
āNo,ā he answered, the smirk disappearing, āIām not.ā
I stared at him, unresponding, but he continued, āYou donāt believe me.ā
āOf course I donāt. Why should I, anyway?ā
I watched tears sparkle in the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them away quickly.
āI donāt know,ā he whispered more to himself than me.
My eyes widened. I had only ever seen him cry twice; once when he had found out I had reported him to the department, the other time when he had tried to kill my friend.
I took a deep breath. āI know what youāve been trying to do.ā
āI know.ā
āYouāve been trying to lure me to you,ā I stated, my voice as steady as I could manage.
āI have.ā
I narrowed my eyes. āYouāve been draining people to get me to come to you directly.ā
āI have.ā
āBut it hasnāt worked because Iām not stupid.ā The words came faster now, catching on my teeth before they tumbled out of my mouth into the cool, open air.
āI know you arenāt.ā
The way he said it took me off guard. The softness in his voice matched the tenderness in his eyes, and I found myself looking away.
āWhy?ā I asked, the question quiet enough to be whisked away by the wind.
But he had heard me. āBecause I love you.ā
āNo, you donāt,ā I growled. My response was automatic, instinctual at this point.
āI do,ā he countered, āI love you more than anyone else Iāve ever met. I love you more than life itself. I love you.ā
I looked back up at him again, and my breath hitched. He was looking at me like Iād hung every star in the sky and lit up the moon just for him. He was looking at me like I was the only thing that mattered on Earth.
We were silent for a few minutes, but it wasnāt uncomfortable. It was natural, like weād done this a thousand times.
Because we had.
He was the one to break the silence. āCome with me.ā
āWhat?ā
āCome with me,ā he repeated.
I crossed my arms. āWhat do you mean?ā
He jerked forward a bit, almost like he was going to touch me, but he stopped himself. āWe can get away from Dahlia. We can go back to the way things were before everything happened. We can go back to us.ā
āI donāt want that,ā I said, āI donāt want to be on the run again.ā
He stepped a bit closer. I didnāt back away. āThen we can settle down. I know youāve always wanted that. Iāll get us a house, we can start a familyā or not, it could stay just the two of us. We can do whatever you want. Iāll make it happen.ā
āIāve already settled with someone else.ā The words came out slowly, like my body was fighting against them.
Quinn didnāt say anything. His eyes stayed on me, but his jaw tightened and his fists clenched. I figured he hoped I hadnāt noticed.
āBut you knew that already, didnāt you?ā I questioned.
Silence.
Another few minutes passed, the tension in the air now thick enough to cut with a knife. He was inhumanly still; still in the way he knew I hated.
It made him look like he was dead.
I was going to say something else when he beat me to it. āI know about him. Iāve known about him and you since you first met a year and a half ago.ā
I didnāt flinch, even as his gaze dug into my skin like knives. āYou know his name too.ā
āI do.ā
āThen say it.ā
I was pushing it, I was pushing our limits. If I went too far, heād snap, and suddenly, weād both be down on the ground again, trying to rip each other apart.
āSam,ā he nearly snarled, his eyes closed like the name pained him, āSam Collins. Thatās his name.ā
āRight. And youāve met him before, too.ā
Quinn sighed. āI have.ā
I paused again, pondering him. My eyes scanned his features, trying to find what he was thinking. His jaw had remained clenched, and his silver irises had darkened.
āDo you want to kill him?ā I finally asked.
His eyes widened slightly before he answered me. āI used to.ā
I quirked a brow. āUsed to?ā
āUsed to,ā he started, āI used to think about tearing his heart out or ripping his head off. Maybe both at the same time. But I donāt think about that anymore.ā
āWhy?ā
āBecause if I hurt him, itāll hurt you. If I kill him, itāll break you. Youād blame yourself for anything happening to him, and the guilt would eat you alive.ā
I was speechless, but he kept going. āI donāt want to break you again. I donāt want to hurt you like that again. So I wonāt hurt him, or David, Milo, Asher, or anyone you care about. I wonāt do that to you again.ā
āThen why not just kill me? Wouldnāt that make it all go away?ā
Quinnās brows knitted together; he looked confused. āNo, because you deserve to live even if that life doesnāt have me in it anymore.ā
I searched his face, trying to find the sign thatād tell me he was lying, thatād tell me he was just placating me so he could get my guard down and go in for the kill, but I found nothing. His stare was hardened, sure, but liquid honesty swirled within the crimson flecks in his irises.
āSo what are you going to do now?ā I asked, genuine confusion lacing through the inflections of my voice, āBecause you might as well run; you and I know thereās no way in Hell Iād catch you.ā
He took another deep breath. āIām going to do whatever you want me to do.ā
I arched my brow again. He explained, āI mean it. If you want me to run away from here and never come back, Iāll do it. If you want me to sit here and wait until the sun comes up to burn me to ash, Iāll do it. If you want to kill me, Iāll let you and wonāt fight back. Iāll do whatever is going to make you happy, because thatās what I want. Thatās the only thing I want, only thing Iāve ever wanted, and itās all that I ask from you.ā
His speech washed over me like a tidal wave, but it didnāt pull me under and drown me like I thought it would. The current was steady, and I found myself letting out such a deep breath it felt like I would collapse.
I sat down on the ground and looked up at him. āSit with me.ā
He followed suit, and I met his eyes again. āI know what Iām going to do.ā
āTell me,ā he hummed, but it wasnāt an order. It was a request.
I took another deep breath before letting the words flow. āIām going to call the department and tell them that youāre here. Iām also gonna call David and Sam to let them know that weāre here, and that Iām safe. When the department comes, youāre going to go with them peacefully. When David and Sam get here, Iām gonna leave with them, and weāre never going to see each other ever again. Do you understand?ā
We didnāt say anything for a long while again, and I watched as my words sunk in. Tears had filled his eyes again, but he let them fall this time.
āI understand,ā he murmured, his voice cracking.
I didnāt move to comfort him like I wouldāve before. I just sat there, watching as silent tears fell from his eyes onto the dirt, and seeped into the ground. He didnāt move to wipe them away, but he wasnāt completely still either; his back was shaking from the sobs he was swallowing.
I pulled out my phone to call the department, and I ignored the countless missed call and message notifications from Sam, David, and who knows who else. I dialed their number, hit āCallā, then waited as it rang.
It was only two rounds of ringing before someone picked up. āHello, this is the Department of Uniform Magical Practices, how may I help you?ā
āIām with Quinn Barlowe, the vamp you guys have been trying to track down.ā
The woman on the other end of the line was silent for a few moments, and I was about to ask if she was still there when she sputtered, āOh, oh my God, okay, um, sorry, just give me a momentā¦ā
I could hear muffled talking through the buzz of the call, then sounds of doors opening and closing and footsteps. The lady said, her voice still shaky, āOur Covert Cops are getting ready to leave now, may I send them your location?ā
āYes.ā
I heard keys typing, then she requested, āPlease stay on the line until our team gets to you. Are either you or Quinn hurt?ā
āNo.ā
āAlright,ā she said, āIāll let you know when theyāre close to you. If you feel like you are in danger or need anything else, please let me know.ā
āI think Iāll be fine, but thanks,ā I replied, āCan I add my alpha and mate to the line?ā
āGo right ahead, dear.ā
I thanked her for the permission, then rang both David and Sam. The dial tone didnāt even have a chance to ring before both of them picked up. From the way their voices melded together and echoed, I figured they were together.
I shouted over the noise, āI canāt hear either of you when you talk at the same time.ā
It was silent for a moment before I heard David demand, āWhere the fuck are you? Weāve been trying to message you for hours, but you havenāt responded. Care to explain yourself?ā
āIām with Quinn,ā I said bluntly.
They both went so silent I almost laughed. Sam was the first one to react. āAre you alright? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?ā
I smiled a little. āIām okay; we both are. The departmentās on their way now, theyāre on the line with us.ā
The receptionist greeted them both with a small āhiā before going quiet again, and then I heard the sound of a car starting.
āSend us your location,ā David stated.
I complied, and Sam spoke up again. āWeāre on our way now. Just sit tight and stay on the line, will you?ā
āI will.ā
It was quiet again before Sam said, āI love you, darlinā.ā
āI love you too, Sam.ā
I looked up at Quinn after I had said it back, but he hadnāt moved. He was staring at the ground still, his hands now fiddling with a dead leaf.
āIf youāre gonna say anything, just say it,ā I pushed.
His gaze flickered to the phone, and I picked it back up to put the microphone on mute.
āThere, now they canāt hear us. Is that better?ā I asked, meaning for it to come out sarcastically, but it sounded sincere instead.
He nodded and spoke. āI wanted to say that Iām sorry.ā
He had me speechless again, and I looked him in the eyes. He stared back, his brows furrowed as he fought back more tears. I felt my own eyes begin to sting, but I blinked the feeling away.
I had never heard Quinn apologize before. The phrase sounded foreign in his cadence, but I could tell he meant it. I could tell he meant every single word he had said tonight.
I rested my hand on top of his and rubbed my thumb against the back of his palm. āI know.ā
He finally broke, his other hand covering his face as sobs wracked his body. I moved towards him and opened my arms to him, and he dove into me. His arms traveled to wrap around my waist, and he buried his face in my neck. The feeling of his lips brushing against my collarbone had me jerking, expecting the pain of fangs in flesh, but none ever came; only the feeling of his body shaking as I held him.
āļø āļø āļø
Ten minutes later, I could hear the crackling of leaves being crushed by tires. The Covert Cops showed up first, but Sam, David, and a few others I couldnāt see arrived not long after.
Quinn was still in my arms, but his breathing had steadied; he had stopped crying by then. I had to tap him to get him to notice that everyone had arrived, and when he finally looked towards them, he let go of me. I didnāt flinch or pull away when he lightly kissed my forehead, but instead stayed still as he got up and walked towards the Covert Cops.
They jammed his arms and hands behind his back quickly, the metal cuffs harshly snapping around his wrists. I almost told them to be more gentle but I held my tongue, biting the words back.
I stood up too, but I didnāt move. I stared as he was shoved into the back of their truck, and he turned around to look at me.
He mouthed āI love youā before the door shut behind him.
As soon as the metal clang of the door rang throughout the forest, I dropped to my knees. I hadnāt realized I was shaking until now, and tears took no time to begin pouring onto my cheeks and down my face. I held onto my shirt and rocked back and forth, trying to make sense of tonight, but everything jumbled together until it felt like my head would explode.
I soon felt a familiar warmth surrounding me, and I quickly recognized it as Sam. I fell into his arms, limp against his chest as he rubbed my back and whispered that everything was okay, that I was okay. I trusted his words, but the image of Quinn being shoved into that truck burned itself into my brain.
Part of me regretted not saying āI love you tooā.
I could hear other voices from behind Sam, but I ignored them as I stayed in his embrace. I didnāt dare move because if I did, that damned truck would be in my line of sight again, and Iād fall apart more than I already had.
A few minutes later, Sam asked if he could pick me up, and I nodded silently. He carried me to the backseat of Davidās car, and I felt exhaustion begin to tug at the edges of my thoughts. My head drooped to the side and landed on Samās right shoulder, and he rested his on top of mine.
But before I let sleep take me under, I prayed to myself. I prayed that Quinn would be content wherever he was going. I prayed that heād be able to find himself again. I prayed that heād be okay again. I prayed heād find some sort of new normal.
I prayed that when I looked back at him for that last time, he had been able to hear everything I wished I couldāve told himā like how there had been a time where I had been completely devoted to him, and that that part of me was still in there, and that it always would be. Like how I had once imagined a future where I could forget my past and be free with him for the rest of eternity.
I hoped that heād be able to settle just like I have. I hope there comes a point in time where he looks in the mirror and isnāt afraid of what he sees anymore.
I hope he knows that there will always be someone out there who loves him.
(op said in another reblog that the deadline is actually the end of 2022, but jokes on you I misread from the start)
Reminders:
Take a moment to take a deep breath in, hold, and breath out. Do this a couple of times if you wish.
Sip some water. Yes, even if you recently had some.
Stretch!! Don't let those muscles and joints get too stiff.
Are you hungry? If yes, eat some food. Even if it's just something small.
What time is it? If it is Too Late, go to sleep. Even if at this point you'll only get a couple hours of sleep. Some sleep is better than none.
If you want, you are always welcome to ask me for cute pet rat photos to cheer you up :) If rats aren't your cup of tea I recommend other cute pets or other wholesome content
(Edit: I have already answered some rat pic asks so feel free to look at the tag #rats on my blog, though you can always ask for more and I'll try not to post repeats)
Donāt judge the title, I fought with it for a good twenty minutes before giving in lol
This was written for several reasons. 1) @romirola and @zozo-01 have both been wonderful to me and written wisdom teeth removal fics at my request, and it made me want to write one. 2) @thatlesbeanjew requested Sam/Darlin hurt/comfort and I am always happy to deliver for her ā„ļø 3) I need more practice writing shorter fics, and itās a good warmup for my writing commissions lol
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