every single fantasy novel (at least from major publishers) is a court of tits and ass now.
its always some bullshit with either White Girl With No Traits Protagonist or the complete opposite end of the spectrum, Cool White Girl Who Swears A Lot Protagonist (who still has no character traits just to be clear). she will inevitably fall in love with some emotionally maladjusted tall brooding guy who treats her like shit but that’s ok because she doesn’t know why she likes him either! don’t worry, the narrative might even justify him being horrid to her
the title will be either “x of y” or “a x of y and z”. fill in the variables yourself. don’t worry, it doesn’t need to be original in any way
everyone will have Cool Edgy Teenager Names with a lot of Zs and Xs in them. maybe even some Qs for real spice. alternatively, they will all be vaguely Celtic names because the author is butchering Irish mythology and she doesn’t really know the difference between Irish and Scottish names or how to spell anything
alternatively, you might have Norse or Greek mythology. those are the only two other options. if it’s those, the setting will lean HARD on that
there are no characters of color. race will not be mentioned a single time actually
if the author is feeling really spicy the Shitty Male Love Interest might not be human. don’t worry, pearl-clutchers at home, he’ll have so few nonhuman traits that it’ll be easy to forget. any sex that happens will either not mention his nonhuman traits at all or make him just turn human for it. also we might get a bit orientalist about it. just for funsies, yk
there might be queer characters. the queer characters you are most likely to see are (never specified AFAB but you the reader can tell) nonbinary people. there will definitely not be trans women. the queer characters will DEFINITELY all be white if there are any characters of color in this book
there might be a magic system. it will definitely be called “magick” and spelled that way
if there are fae or elves, they’ll probably be snooty and slightly racist. our enlightened, noble White Savior Character i mean Cool Protagonist will of course teach them the error of their racist bigoted ways. society won’t change in any meaningful way though
and of course, our Characterless Female Protagonist will inevitably save the day using her Divine Feminine Vagina Womanhood Uterus Powers. clearly none of the Very Male Men characters could have done this. she only pulled it off because of how Cool And Female she is. and then she has terrible sex with the Shitty Love Interest Guy obviously
titsay
areudirty
janainaart
jbbartram-illu
germansingergirl
gummygunk
annaxmalina
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
origamiaround
