[omtai]

thought autocomplete would take me to outlook dot com not realising id forgotten the T before i pressed enter. However was very much pleased at what it took me to instead. I think I don't want to see my emails now. I think I will stay with the oul.

[fred-the-dinosaur]

i hope this email never finds you. i hope you are with the oul

[iwashandpicked]

"wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy"

i'd wish it on 11 people i met TODAY

[deanwinchesterapologist]

just found out you can do more than one thing each day. i was just doing the one

[dogpuppy]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

lamb shawarma pita the size of my head please fix all my problems

[essiedub]

[natalieironside]

Due to my weird childhood and my weird brain, I have this very unhelpful compulsion to conceal Everything I do from Everyone. I Cannot be observed performing any action, no matter how mundane. My nervous system is convinced I'm gonna, like, Get In Trouble for eating food at dinnertime or sleeping in my bed at bedtime.

I've taken to asking myself, "Okay does this task actually require subterfuge or am I stealing a balloon on Free Balloon Day"

[miiilowo]

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

[senatortedcruz]

[thatnordicguy]

I've failed to read rooms I was alone in

[cheddar-baby]

I think every house spider is smiling

[11-515]

[100493503004422]

when I talk about the weather it isn't small talk. I actually care about it and I want to discuss

[segamascott]

[sylestial]

Spring Truther Affirmations

spring is real

spring has happened before

spring will happen again

spring is coming

spring is on its way

it’s going to be spring soon

spring is not a myth

spring is not a false memory

[rslashrats]

[chickennuggetofchaos]

[rose-above-dark]

Everybody is a Homosexual Piece of Gravel

[circusheart]

it's always some sort of day of the week