Dracula's blog: Reasons My Solicitor Is Crying
29/6, 10:00 PM - He wants to go outside, where there are wolves.
29/6, 10:01 PM - I opened the door to demonstrate that there are wolves. Now he wants to stay inside.

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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Dracula's blog: Reasons My Solicitor Is Crying
29/6, 10:00 PM - He wants to go outside, where there are wolves.
29/6, 10:01 PM - I opened the door to demonstrate that there are wolves. Now he wants to stay inside.
in the club fully sober politely informing my friends that I don't like loud sounds and will be leaving early
By Gerda Wegener, 1925
A milli
grace + wearing his glasses like that
Project Hail Mary (2026) dir. Phil Lord, Chris Miller
cats know keyboard shortcuts even microsoft doesnt know about
Him getting smaller and smaller as he walks up to the truck is some real Peter Jackson The Lord of the Rings forced perspective movie magic
Viktor Lyapkalo Artwork: 'Blowing bubbles' & 'Evening' Painted 9 years apart.
Same woman
Yooo I went and looked up the Artist responsible for these masterpieces and holy shit did this guy love Big Women:
[nudity under the cut]
Reblogging a second time to add that this is an active, alive artist and you can find him here:
http://www.lyapcalo.ru/
Website isn’t linking properly but if you google him, you’ll find him!
and everytime we punch i get this feeling and everytime we hit i swear i can fly. cant you feel my heart beat fast? im gonnna beat your ass. gonna end your lifeee
Thank you all, i needed further explanation - And i do find it might help me!
Happy tom needy drinky day
I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17″) Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I don’t think that’s a good idea
FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!
and now I found the “realistic torture/execution devices for dolls” section.
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they can’t show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.
that’s not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I can’t really remember what I was searching for
oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being like “hey this is a good sex toy”, they instead try to explain why you’d even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually “your boyfriend/husband sucks”. or doesn’t, I guess.
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!
wait, a flower? do… do flowers make sounds?
I’ve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out it’s not alone. There’s also…
THE WRENCH!
now that is a fucking slogan
one of my favorite things is that when they’re showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and they’re ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.
sex toy or vulcan starship?
OH MEHR SPIELMÖGLICHKEITEN!
this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, there’s other parents.
In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing
found another tool! it’s scissors this time.
I’m not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design
sometimes all I can say is “what”
is this vaporwave?
I don’t think that’s how that works
your strawberries will never be safe
finally, the first robot that can eat a flan!
another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in!
(Unlike all those terrible dildos that don’t work in the living room or kitchen)
finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards!
open wiiiiide
Common Words & Phrases from AAVE
Gullah & Early AAVE
Gumbo – From Bantu kingombo (okra), brought by enslaved Africans and became the name of the Creole stew thickened with okra.
Goober – From Kikongo nguba, the Bantu word for peanut that entered American English via enslaved Africans.
Yam – From West African languages (e.g., Wolof nyami, "to eat"), brought over during the slave trade and adopted into Southern cuisine.
Banjo – From a Bantu root (mbanza), the instrument was crafted by enslaved Africans based on West African string instruments.
Bogus – Likely from Hausa boko-boko (deceitful, fraudulent), entering American English through African American speech in the 19th century.
Juke (box/joint) – From Gullah juke (rowdy, disorderly), derived from Wolof dzug (to live wickedly), later attached to roadside bars.
Tote (to carry) – From West African languages (e.g., Kikongo tota, "to pick up"), recorded in Gullah before spreading to mainstream English.
Dig (to understand) – From Wolof degg (to understand), popularized by jazz musicians in the 1930s after entering English through AAVE.
Jazz – Possibly from West African or Creole slang for energy/sex, first documented in AAVE in Chicago around 1912.
Okay (OK) – Though its origin is debated, strong evidence traces it to West African languages (e.g., Wolof waw kay) via enslaved Gullah speakers.
Hip/Hep – From Wolof hipi (to open one's eyes, to be aware), entering jazz slang in the early 1900s before going mainstream.
Hepcat – A compound of "hep" + "cat" (jazz slang for a person), literally meaning "one who has his eyes open" in West African-influenced jazz culture.
Jazz, Blues & 1940s–60s Era
Cool (as in fashionable/calm) – Originated in jazz circles, likely from saxophonist Lester Young, and entered mainstream via West African aesthetic concepts of composure.
Cat – A jazz-era term for a skilled musician or cool person, derived from West African-influenced jive talk.
Crib – Jazz slang for a house or apartment, popularized in the 1940s before becoming mainstream in the 1990s.
Hokum – AAVE slang for nonsense or BS, used in blues and jazz before being adopted more widely.
Diss – Short for "disrespect," coined in AAVE and popularized through hip-hop in the 1980s and 1990s.
Bad (meaning good) – From AAVE, where inversion of meaning creates emphasis (something so "bad" it's actually good), used since early jazz era.
Jive – AAVE slang for deceptive talk or a style of jazz dancing, used by Cab Calloway in his 1930s Hepster Dictionary.
1970s–90s (Hip-Hop & Pre-Internet Era)
Homeboy/Homegirl – AAVE for a close friend from one's neighborhood, popularized in hip-hop and later shortened to "homes" in casual speech.
Dope (meaning great) – Shifted from "stupid" in standard English to "excellent" in AAVE during the 1980s hip-hop era.
Props – Short for "proper respects" in AAVE, used in hip-hop to acknowledge skill or achievement before entering mainstream slang.
Word (as in "I agree") – AAVE interjection ("Word!" or "Word is bond") meaning "I'm telling the truth," derived from Nation of Islam teachings.
Phat (meaning cool/great) – AAVE acronym believed to stand for "Pretty Hot And Tempting," though likely an invented backronym; popularized in 90s hip-hop.
The Bomb – AAVE phrase for something excellent or top-quality, widely used in hip-hop lyrics before mainstream adoption.
Def – AAVE slang for "excellent," popularized by Run-DMC's "King of Rock" and 80s hip-hop culture.
Fresh – AAVE for stylish or excellent, used in early hip-hop and 80s pop culture before spreading globally.
Wack – AAVE for "bad, inferior, uncool," popularized in hip-hop and later mainstream youth speech as the opposite of "cool."
Hella – AAVE intensifier meaning "very" or "a lot of," originating in Oakland/Bay Area AAVE in the 1970s-80s.
Cap / No Cap – AAVE meaning "lie" and "no lie," popularized by Bay Area rap in the 2010s, derived from "capping" (exaggerating).
1990s–2000s (Internet Adoption & Ballroom Culture)
Slay – From AAVE and Black ballroom culture (Paris is Burning, 1990), meaning to do something extremely well, now mainstream via social media.
Spill the Tea – From AAVE (originally "spill the T," with "T" meaning truth), popularized by drag culture and Black queer communities.
Shade (as in insult) – From Black ballroom culture (documented in Paris is Burning), meaning a subtle insult, now used broadly in pop culture.
Reading (as in insulting) – From ballroom culture ("reading" someone), meaning to publicly insult with wit, immortalized in Paris is Burning.
Kiki – AAVE from ballroom culture meaning a casual gathering for gossip or chatting, later mainstreamed through pop music (e.g., Kesha).
Fierce – AAVE and ballroom term meaning exceptionally good or intense, applied to fashion, performance, or attitude.
Woke – From AAVE meaning socially and politically aware, first used in 1940s Black activism before resurging with Black Lives Matter.
Shook – AAVE meaning startled or upset, used in 1990s New York hip-hop (e.g., Mobb Deep) before mainstream adoption in the 2010s.
On Fleek – AAVE phrase meaning perfectly executed, coined in a 2014 Vine by Peaches Monroee, one of the last pre-AI viral AAVE innovations.
Finna – From AAVE contraction of "fixing to" (preparing to), documented in Southern AAVE for decades before wider use and dictionary recognition.
Chile – A phonetic spelling of "child" in Southern AAVE, used as a term of endearment or exclamation since at least the 1970s (The Wiz, 1978).
2010s–Present (Social Media & Gen Z Slang Pipeline)
Lit – AAVE meaning exciting or excellent (originally "intoxicated" or "on fire"), popularized in hip-hop before becoming a Gen Z staple.
Bae – AAVE term of endearment meaning "before anyone else" or just a shortened form of "babe/baby," mainstreamed in the 2010s.
Ratchet – AAVE originally meaning a rowdy, aggressive woman (from "wretched"), later used to describe anything wild or out of control.
Turnt – AAVE meaning excited or intoxicated, from "turned up" in hip-hop lyrics, mainstreamed in early 2010s party slang.
Clap Back – AAVE for a sharp, witty comeback or retaliation, popularized in hip-hop (e.g., Ja Rule's 2003 song "Clap Back") before internet slang.
Bussin' – AAVE meaning delicious or excellent, applied to food or anything great, popularized on TikTok in the 2020s.
Sus – AAVE shortening of "suspicious" or "shady," used for decades before Among Us made it a global meme in 2020.
Snatched – AAVE originally describing flawless hair/makeup or a tight waist, now used to praise anything perfectly executed.
Periodt – AAVE emphatic form of "period" (meaning "end of discussion"), with a hard "t" for emphasis, popularized on Black Twitter before global use.
Bonus: My personal favorite AAVE term that I see used online religiously is receipts! AAVE meaning the proof shown to back up an accustation
Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi
those are his hooves you bitch
happy 10 years of those are his hooves you bitch
why the FUCK am i still on here
[ID: Image one is a photo of Lil Wayne in a pool at a party. He is wearing socks, which underwater look very much like hooves.
Image two is a gif of the Ninth Doctor from Doctor Who shouting joyously, “Just this once, everybody lives!” End ID]