My heartbreak 15yo self’s Angsty playlist:
All Good Things - Nelly Furtado
I Hate Everything About You - 3 Days Grace
Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus
Loveless Wrists - Bayside
Fuck You - Sleeping With Sirens
Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
I Don’t Believe you - P!nk
Angels - Within Temptation
Everybody’s Fool - Evanescence
Our whole relationship was a life...the kisses, dates, hugs, conversations, all of it just some chore on her part. Something to do for a “friend”. I can’t believe I thought she loved me, god I’m so fucking stupid!!!! I know I’m supposed to take only one anti depressant but I’ve been poppin them out like bubble wrap.
Time to keep myself distracted: Draw, write, Internet, wat, cut, read, clean, anything to keep from melting down again I WILL MAKE THROUGH THIS!
Everyone goes through this. It’ll be okay. Oh and avoid love songs
Fuck had a meltdown in the shower. Feeling kinda shitty. Memories keep running through my mind. Gotta keep busy!! Gotta keep busy, gotta keep busy, it’s almost a mantra now.
To do list keep myself busy:
• Draw Queen of Hearts pic in art book
• finish and start new chapter in Jessica
• make sure Mum calls Girls Grammar
• finish watching playthrough of Beyond: Two Souls
• jog to the pub and back
Omg the most embarrassing thing just happened. I mistook Jude, the mail lady next door, as Mum and hugged her and kissed her should and said “love ya Mum” KILL. ME. NOW. I’m never going to live that fucking down omfg
I’m going to take another pill. I need it. (Feeling sick and lightheaded after that). I wonder how long I need to wait until I feel better.
I feel so empty. Marcie and I spoke. Too painful to write down. I need to get out of this fucking place. Maybe arrange a sleepover with Mel? it’s weird to think Mel is my best friend after all these years with Marcie. Oh Marcie :(