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above-dragon-deactivated2019040

Ok that’s actually disgusting, here’s a link to their gofundme

i have a dinosaur cat shirt your argument is invalid.

#it's pusheen bitch #my argument #Dino kitty #pusheen

I was working on my friend’s photo, and I turned them into a can.

I’m fucking dead.

@sassy-pastel-eren

#lol #lolz #oh no #my friend is a can #this is why I can't have nice things #photohop #photography #my bad

I started playing Minecraft.

Time to get that pixelated booty.

#minecraft #do he got the booty?#gamer #return to gaming #pixelated trash can

Diary of a City School Bus Driver #2

Dearest Diary,

Today was so great. The children all behaved and life was perfect with rainbows and shit.

Not. Ha.

Let’s cover the events of what occurred today:

1. Upon afternoon departure from the bus lot, a tropical-level storm decided to blow throw the city like a fucking death fart. We parked under an over pass before attempting the highway. Five minutes later, the storm passed.

2. At the school entrance, two police cars were parked with their lights flashing. We wait until our kiddos board to find out (and witness) one of our students being taken out in handcuffs for assaulting a security officer (police) on school grounds.

3. Two of our kids had a “Yo mama” fight which ended in an actual fist fight. One student sprung forwards like a spider monkey, catapulted using the top of the bus seats and attacked the other student including drawing blood with her nails. They were separated. She launched herself again. My monitor caught and took the brunt of the force. The police and principal boarded the bus and dragged her off. Principal promised she would not ride for the rest of the semester (2 weeks.)

4. Another driver and monitor had an issue with my parking and made a big deal of nothing due to the fact they like the illusion of control (seniority). Later on, the monitor went to my monitor and claimed I shouldn’t be “a fucking bus driver” due to deciding not to pull up the end of the corner which would of resulted in A) a possible police ticket and/or B) not being able to complete a right turn safely with my kiddos on board.

Overall, today was fun.

P.S. A fellow driver came over the radio and reported a kid’s family attempting to jump another kid on her bus and it included a weapon. Yay!

My job is never boring. It’s like one giant dramatic soap opera melt down where I can sit behind the wheel eating popcorn while listening to the PA system as other drivers verbally assault one another.

#lol #lolz #school bus driver #school route #dark humor #inner city #thug life #swag #yolo #bus driver #fight story #summer #why the fuck do I enjoy this?#My life choices #tropical storm #never a dull moment #humor #funny #social

Decided to start playing Bendy and the Ink Machine today, and I have no regrets.

I’m fucking dying over here. I can’t even.

All I can hear is Goofy saying “Well gorsh!”

Anyone else enjoying this gem?

#BAIM #bendy and the ink machine #bend #bendy #goofy #disney #lol #humor #dark humor #wtf #indie #indie games #return to gaming #single player #disney take down #bendy the dancing demon #bendy the demon

My job is never boring. I drive a school bus.

When I went to start the bus, I was greeted with the wonderful realization that a raccoon, using it’s little fucking toe-fingers, opened my door and went through my trashcan… and apparently found a leftover grilled cheese (I have never eaten a grilled cheese on the bus, brah.)

Then while collecting the kiddos, a call was made by dispatch to not route a certain way due to a corpse being in the middle of the street.

And finally, while I was waiting on a kid, I had my red STOP sign out, a vehicle attempted to fly past (not paying attention???) and smashed the front end of their car into another vehicle that was patiently waiting.

This was all during the morning shift. I have another shift.

I love my job.

#Ilovemyjob #school bus driver #school bus #cars #car collission #dumb people #raccoon #toe fingers #raccoons have evil toe fingers #corpse #too much fun in the city #life is eventful #why the fuck #lol #thug raccoon #thug life #swag

I was eating waffles for dinner. These waffles were so sugary that Wilford Brimley sweetly whispered into my ear: "diabetes."

#wilford brimley #diabetes #waffles #dear god #what have i be one #humor #dark #dinner jokes #bad taste and judgement

I’m happy so I mopped my bathroom walls with a Swiffer.

#so swiffing happy #happy #manic #mywallsareclean #clean #cleanliness #unusual #surreal #why do I do things like this

uxxxie-deactivated20210324

1-corn-on-macabre

Gotta catch it all.

#ruinedchildhood #pokemon #condom #right in my childhood #distasteful humor

yunyin

So, um… I have a kitty who isn’t doing very well. I’m kinda fearing the worst, since she’s thin and doesn’t seem to want to eat much, even of soft food. I’m trying to pay for her vet trips with commissions, so if you’d like one or could spare a few bucks, that would be great. : )