when tumblr gets weird

the late night tumbles that'll have you asking "what the fuck?"

[hogmaildotclom]

hot dr pepper will replace water by 2019 and blood by 2023

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

if you are up on a tuesday, you know what to do

[setheverman]

all letters in my name are actually silent

[setheverman]

it’s pronounced like *gust of wind*

[emeraldembers]

Are we talking a poetic autumn breeze or a fart here

[setheverman]

depends on your accent

[aintnobodygotmoneyfodat]

loudest noises: -dad sneezes -mom yells -trying to get a pot out of the pot cupboard -dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower -flushing the toilet at 3am in the morning -IMAX

[ahsadler]

-John Cena

[mayadowaliby]

3am in the morning

[frootfarm]

[celticpunkandcoffee-deactivated]

This was a wild ride

[unadeptly]

So true though

[dinkywinks]

god, it’s so crazy we all have bones… like, just these big hard rods holding our meat up. that’s so fucking wild, i can’t believe it

[rolodextra]

one of the main reasons i don’t want to get pregnant is i can’t handle the idea of growing bones and not keeping them

[dinkywinks]

this is a very reasonable concern. you go to all that trouble growing new bones and then some shitlord infant steals them out from under you. disgraceful

[bad1dimagines]

this is love

[krabby-kronicle]

🤔

[brittany-murphy]

me reblogging memes about having a man even though I don’t have a man

[yourbigsisnissi]

You know what would be creepy?

If pregnant bellies were shaped like babies instead of a round tummy

Like

If you could see the outline of the baby as it grows

And it just looks like an infant covered in its mom’s skin?

Wouldn’t that be creeeepy?

[beyoncesbabii]

What possessed you to say this

[yourbigsisnissi]

If I have to be up at night thinking about it

So do y'all 😈

[dancersofeveryday]

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

me and the girls

[tibets]

[swoletergeist]

demi devito

[swoletergeist]

danny lovato

[vanquishedvaliant]

If you’re like sleep spooning a centaur and they roll over in bed do you just die

[null-set]

sleep on her back, then you’ll just roll off if she shifts

[vanquishedvaliant]

i dont follow

[null-set]

+

[vanquishedvaliant]

okay but what if you had a special bed instead 

nothing says commitment like buying a new mattress

[mythicalwashrag]

Centaur Comfort Mattress™: The Horse Hole Keeps Your Bones Safe

[odangalinstan]

My brother showed me this two weeks ago and it still haunts me, but now I found it.

[vanquishedvaliant]

this post literally did not exist two weeks ago who are you trying to impress

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

hey dude you mind if i use your microwave to microwave this metal real quick? gotta get my keys hot. doesn’t work in my microwave. please dude my keys are cold

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

did the beat go off?

i nut and then my meat go soft? 

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

her daughters got the whooping cough?

[rylances-deactivated20170212]

i brake and let the children cross?

[prfmemes-deactivated20220224]

you would not believe your flex

if two trucks were having sex