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Art Masterlist (by fandom)

Angels of Death / Satsuriku no Tenshi (+90)

Genshin Impact (+40)

Legend Of Zelda (Botw/Totk)

The guild codex series by Annette Marie

Outer Wilds

filmnoirsbian

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

filmnoirsbian

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

filmnoirsbian

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

this-is-a-name-dont-worry

gshsjb

obscuretobyfox

i know it was unused but i feel like i do not hear enough people talking about this

redstonedust

funny thing about anxiety is sometimes it kind of breaks your sense of danger. like i am known for repeatedly putting myself in situations that make my friends go "bro you couldve died. werent you scared?" and the answer is 👍 yjeah. i did it scared. i do everything scared. i didnt know that was the actual important kind of scary because i usually have to ignore my fears to function in society. it will happen again. watch out.

antikate

I went to a clothes shop with my daughter yesterday and we were talking about how the clothes were nice but how it was the kind of shop that made us both feel like a horse. You know it’s like, here I am, a horse at a human clothing shop, putting on clothes that look ridiculous on a horse, and it’s obviously my fault for being a horse and not a human

Of course that sweater looks weird on me, I’m a horse, not a human! I can barely get my hooves through the sleeves, and it bunches up over my withers and doesn’t reach my fetlocks, and there’s no accounting for my hindquarters. Or my forequarters either

So then we started talking about horse shops and classifying clothes as for humans or for horses, and now I’m afraid the idea of the horse shop is permanently cemented in my vocabulary, and someone is going to ask me about clothes and I’ll be like “oh I can’t shop there it isn’t for horses” and it will be weird

wowthwtslame

dont forget

#deltarune spoilers

yffresbeard

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

rabbithaver

prev im so sorry to put you on blast like this but please know this had me in hysterics

justgivemeabookplease

Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

fitzchivalry

awakefor48hours

“Europoors can’t afford AC. They couldn’t survive a week of Texas’s heat wave” Okay, yeah, that’s cool and funny. Can we please talk about the fact that global warming is so bad that the heat is literally killing people that far north.

awakefor48hours

I get that some people are annoyed hearing about Europeans talk about the rise of heat. What constitutes a heat wave in Europe is a pleasant spring day for some people and to be someone watching entire countries moan and groan about the heat while it’s ten degrees hotter can be annoying. But some of y’all gotta stop pointing and laughing and look at the bigger issue.

It should not be that hot that far north.

Buildings and traffic lights are melting, I can only imagine what the power grids must look like in some cities considering the hoards of people hooking up AC units to their home, and most importantly, people are dying.

We can’t keep making the same “European heat wave” joke every year. Let’s look at the bigger issue. The bigger issue being global warming.

minimalsizeconspiracy

I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved in this, but alas, here we are.

These two posts sum it up perfectly. The problem is not the heat in measured degrees, Fahrenheit or Celsius. The problem is that it is that hot in areas where neither fauna, flora or architecture are made for that type of heat, because it shouldn’t be that hot in that area.

Yes, I’ve included fauna and flora. Because yes, it affects the vegetation and our wild animals as well, and yes, they’re suffering and dying as well. They just can’t talk about it on Tumblr.

Frankly, the number of posts I’ve seen where the motivation seems to be sheer pettiness, usually along the lines of “people can’t take a little heat, haha” or “why don’t Europeans just build AC, so stupid” is silly. If you want to get back at Europeans for some real or perceived slight in the past, make it about something that isn’t a global problem for all of humanity, and, might I remind users on the website where many pride themselves on standing up for minorities and oppressed populations, disproportionally affects people in areas that are traditionally struggling with poverty:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301479725034097

Very few people with common sense are not aware that it’s much hotter in other places on the planet than it is in Europe at present. I’m actually not talking about the US, thank you. Try the African continent, India or any place located around the equator for that – and guess what: these areas are also being affected by increased frequency in heat waves. They’re also struggling. Except there’s probably a much smaller percentage of them on Tumblr, where the people gleefully making fun of Europeans are hanging out. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

Until very recently, Europeans have not needed AC. Because the temperatures, yes, even in Spain and Greece, were rarely so high for so long that it would have made sense to plan for it. Since the industrialisation, Europe’s infrastructure has been designed to deal and handle with the range of temperatures that are normal for Europe. This includes housing, transportation, agriculture and power supplies. AC would be, as US citizens would say, “putting a bandaid on a broken bone”. It addresses the problem on a temporary basis and does not do anything to solve the problems Europe is now facing.

And that, I would like to believe, is also common sense, that if you live in a place where heat isn’t an issue, you do not design your infrastructure and houses around heat. You design them to deal with the climate that is normal for that area.

Maybe go and read some research papers on how it affects humanity globally it instead of turning it into a game of pettiness. But I guess that is too much to hope for, considering how little traction these posts have been getting as opposed to some of the other “fun” ones I’ve seen going around.

awakefor48hours

Great addition and I would also like to add that while we talk a lot about the infrastructures of European cities not built for the heats, it's also important to note that their bodies are also not built for this heat. The human body is made to adapt to the climate you live in. Meaning if you live in an area where it's usually warmer, your pores open up more and it's easier to sweat/regulate heat. If you've never needed to do that before, it's harder for your body to do which makes it feel even hotter.

castel1ac0nes

Making my own version of that citation fountain I've seen going around

natoraptor

“Tour Guides”

-2026

athenagray

“So... We got the exploding diarrhea. Here's my advice for anyone who doesn't have it yet:

It's going to take a minute for the government to pin down where this is coming from, and then issue a recall, because the FDA has been gutted. But, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt : this is coming from Taylor Farms produce, and you will see them recalled.

You'll want to avoid all Taylor Farms produce in the grocery store. They supply McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, about any fast food place you can think of.

Raspberries, watermelons, cilantro, and the veggies you're hearing about are not causing this many people to get sick. It's the shredded lettuce, specifically, that's the problem. But, you'll want to stay away from every type of produce this company puts out, because one strand of shredded lettuce is all it takes to contaminate bushels.

Taylor Farms is the source. Taco Bell proactively pulled their produce from their restaurants. You're going to see other fast food places doing this, and probably will see that before the government names a source. The FDA knows this, but they can't come out and tell us all until there's proof, which takes resources and research, which takes manpower, but the FDA has been cut by about 20-30%

During the Biden term, onions at McDonald's had ecoli. We knew this because DNA testing was done quickly and they were able to narrow it down to one place that caused the outbreak. And, it was traced back to Taylor Farms. This isn't going to be solved as quickly though.

When you get this, make a virtual appointment to your PCP - a "same day sick" appointment. Tell them someone in your family just tested for this and was positive and was prescribed Bactrim. If you go in person, they're probably going to make you poop in a cup and wait until results come back to prescribe.

You'll know when you get this. Trust me on all of this.

You'll want to stay hydrated because this parasite damages the lining of the small intestine. Your small intestine, in turn, secretes more water into the gut, and less nutrients and liquid are able to remain in the body. So no matter how much you shit, you're going to want to drink. A day of this leads to dehydration if you don't increase your fluid intake, and a few days will land you in the hospital.

If you have headaches, weakness, muscle cramps, dizziness, or an increase heart rate - hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Go to the ER for fluids if you can't drink enough.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. Brought to you by America's 250 birthday celebrations, workforce reduction in the FDA and CDC, and viewers like you.

Please feel free to share this.

And, MAGA - don't blow up the comment section. I argued with y'all on COVID bc I was afraid y'all would die, but I really don't care if you get explosive diarrhea.

And no, ivermectin will not help this at all.”

hylianane

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

maseratus

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

mousidy

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

mousidy

bisthefairy

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

maightymai

cipheramnesia

It's like talking to a 2010 Old Spice commercial with you people

#i was thinking about angels of death zack and ray bc like #they were my 2018 hiperfixation #only for this post to hit me with sans undertale #which was my 2016 hyperfixation #i guess i have a type

sabertoothwalrus

I’m so proud of senshi for making it so far in the tumblr sexyman poll. I think it’s so beautiful that tumblr has reached a point where a short fat hairy bearded man is the pinnacle of sexuality for a large swath of this userbase. it’s like when you see before & after pictures of a rainforest recovering from deforestation. nature is healing and we can fight god

sabertoothwalrus

I hope he wins so someone will have to explain to ryoko kui what a tumblr sexyman is