pair: Nanjo Kojiro x Sakarayashiki Kaoru (MatchaBlossom)
Kaoru thought of himself as an independent man. Everyone else would think so too. He knew how to stand by himself.
It was a stupid decision and a careless action that led him to lose Kojiro. All the blame falls on Kojiro too, yet Kaoru can't help but blame himself too for not berating the man enough to stop him from doing a reckless jump on a steep cliff.
Kojiro said he could do it. Kaoru believed him of course, he knew those muscles weren't just for show. But he was also worried, the track that night was obscured from their sight, it was dark but lit enough for them to casually skate. He should've known better.
Kojiro jumped off the rocks without another thought, and Kaoru can only watch in horror as the ground collapsed under Kojiro's aggressive landing.
Kojiro was saved. He got a few bone fractures and cuts but there was nothing too fatal. He would be able to skate again in due time.
If only he would wake up.
Turns out he hit his head from the fall and now he's in comatose. The doctor said it'll take at least half a year before he wakes up.
Kaoru was so relieved that the idiot got away with just that.
But now Kaoru feels lost.
Half a year never sounded so long until he had to wake up everyday beside Kojiro's bed and see the unmoving lump of muscles, alive but not awake.
Only one month has passed since then and Kojiro's state improved a lot already. The bruises and wounds are healed already, only the large cut by his chest is the only one left to heal. His bone fractures are mostly healed too according to the doctors.
But still, he wasn't awake.
Everyone went by the hospital to visit them both.
Miya was trying to hide his worry with sarcastic comments, Reki was as fussy as ever, Langa expressed his concern too but still as awkward as ever and Shadow brought flowers every chance he got.
The days didn't feel suffocating when the others were with him. But the nights were cruel.
He had to sit beside Kojiro and stare at him breathe consistently. It was unnerving, to be in Kojiro's presence and be silent.
There's no annoying opinions or witty remarks, no idiotic decisions or plainly stupid suggestions, just him and the silent hospital room.
Kaoru feels unbelievably empty.
And he shouldn't be because Kojiro is fine and he'll wake up in a few more months then he'll get back to being annoying.
Kojiro is fine, Kaoru tells himself.
Another month passed by and he started feeling a little bit better. He still goes to his work and join some beef from time to time but the empty place beside him feels like a huge hole. Too huge for him to ignore.
Sometimes he even slips up and gives a commentary or two only to find out that there's no one to join him with that. Miya gives him a concerned look for that.
Kaoru ignores it. Like how he ignores the hollow feeling in his chest.
He continues his life for the next months, still feeling lost. But every time he sees Kojiro's state improve, the weight on his chest ease up a little. He just needs to endure a little more and Kojiro will wake up. All strong and healthy again.
He never thought that not having Kojiro by his side, standing and talking, would affect him so much. Perhaps he wasn't as strong and independent he thought he was. Not when it comes to Kojiro.
Not when it comes to the one who he had grown up with and learned to love with his whole being.