can’t get over a thought that ratio would have dozens of aventurine drawings everywhere, sometimes he would sketch his face automatically without even thinking about it, and this little habit would confuse ratio very much…
Pantalone always lingering around the lab when Dottore's not working on urgent or dangerous projects... Sentences trailing off unfinished every time he sees Dottore roll up his sleeves and expose those muscular arms, small talk made just to hear his voice... Utterly in love with Dottore, even if the Doctor is oblivious to it at first (a little piece of "Dottore is insecure and assumes his crush on Pantalone is one-sided", anyone?)
Eventually it evolves into clingy hugs every time Pantalone steps into Dottore's lab, quick kisses between projects or paperwork... Always finding time in their busy schedules for each other.
imagine pantalone being scared of death. not for himself but rather his beloved husband. gods know how obsessed dottore is with his experiments to build a new world, to seek the possibility of godhood. of course pantalone supported him but what happens if one day, it all.. fails? they spent centuries together, perhaps not in the healthiest way but they still loved each other. to picture a reality where the last segment of his husband is truly gone must be unbearable.
what happens if he secretly hide his fear, buried deep in his heart and brush off all concerns as unnecessary until one day he breaks. no one dares enter his personal office and yet he found himself hunch over his desk, tears threatening to spill out. not even a cigarette could ease his worries, perhaps death terrified him more than he thought. light footsteps went unnoticed until pantalone lifted his head, to see his husband had entered his office without knocking.
classic strategy, it's easier to smile and brush it off but pantalone wasn't given that chance. dottore came around the desk, his hand grip tight on his husband's wrist and pulled him forward to his chest. no hesitations. not a single word was spoken, just silent comfort where the mask pantalone wore slowly crumbled.
out of character from their usual bickering and teasing, perhaps he need warmth more than he realized. to feel his husband in his arms, hugging dottore as if it was the last time. unknown to most, the doctor can be caring when he chooses to be. human emotions are so fragile, pitiful and weak in his eyes. and yet, just this once.. he can indulge in comfort himself. a soft kiss to forehead was all pantalone needed, his grip tighten more around dottore. may they never be inseparable, even in death.
tags: fluff, a soft proposal, a bit of crying on pantalone's part
it was easy for pantalone to gain whatever his heart desires. after all, he was a banker and he was never short on money. a greedy man to the fault, he could spend millions of mora without battling an eye and it would hardly put a dent in his vast fortune of wealth.
and yet, he desires something far greater than wealth alone. he wore an abundance of rings on his left hand but none on his right hand. marriage and family were near impossible, given his position as the ninth of the fatui harbingers.
so nothing would had prepare him emotionally to witness such a rare sight. dottore, down on one knee, as he lifted up a black box. the box clicks open to reveal a silver ring, an amethyst stone sitting pretty on top. clearly, dottore had the intention of crafting a ring that match the banker's violet irises.
pantalone was stunned, to say the least. it became harder to fight back the tears building up in his eyes, a few slid down the curves of his cheeks. his glasses left his face quickly as pantalone rub the palm of his hand across both eyes.
dottore was a bit anxious at his lover's reaction, was the ring not suitable to his tastes? but any doubts that had initially risen were calmed as pantalone threw his arms around the doctor. dottore let out a sigh of relief, his arms resting on the banker's waist. they withdrew slightly from the sudden embrace, just enough for dottore to slide the amethyst ring onto pantalone's right hand. a rare chuckle left dottore's lips, pressing a quick kiss on his fiance's cheek.
"so emotional over a single ring, my dear banker. has your heart truly grown soft?"
"hush, don't ruin the moment. just.. kiss me dammit."
"demanding as always, feofan."
his words lack any bite as he granted pantalone's humble request, bringing their lips together into a soft kiss. they remain there for a while, neither of them moving from their spots. money could buy pantalone a lot of things and yet, he obtained the greatest gift of all. a ring on his right hand and a soon-to-be husband.
tags: angst, hurt/comfort, fear of intimacy, bad at feelings
note: unsure if i should make a sequel to this, most likely will be smut. uh, do people enjoy dottore being on bottom for once? regardless, enjoy.
"you're avoiding me, my dear doctor"
the atmosphere in the laboratory grew uncomfortably tensed, a baseless accusation thrown into the pit of fire. however, there was some truth to pantalone's suspicions about dottore's recent behavior and it all stem from something so meaningless.
intimacy was scarce, neither of them indulge into any further than just light kisses and hugs. there were a few occassions where pantalone initiated something more with dottore, but the doctor always slip away each time, making up excuses to avoid being tangled under the sheets.
patience was indeed a virtue but it seems like pantalone's patience had long since ran incredibly thin with the doctor. now he stands before his lover, cornering the doctor with a hint of frustration in his glare. composed and unyielding, dottore brushed off his question with a scoff.
"i will not engage in your petty dispute, banker. if you are only here to annoy me, i suggest you leave while i'm giving you some grace."
"petty as it seems, at least i'm not running away with my tail stuck between my legs." bickering was nothing new but it's uncommon for them to be this stupidly stubborn. terrible communication always leds to unfortunate misunderstandings. his brows furrowed behind his mask, growing irritation had risen in dottore's voice.
"why are you so painfully desperate to seek an amicable conclusion? my aversion earlier should have been the end of this conversation."
"so you admit that you were avoiding me?" a groan of frustration left the doctor's lips, nearly concealing a growl that threatened to manifest. pantalone was definitely pushing his luck, he doesn't tolerate being provoked by the banker's sharp tongue.
pantalone sighs, it was clear that this conversation was going nowhere with little to no success. as frustrated as he was, perhaps dottore had his own reasons for dodging intimacy like the plague. he steps forward, unfazed by dottore's hardening expression as a gentle hand rest on his husband's cheek.
his fingers slid to the edge of the mask, feeling dottore flinched. pantalone didn't move until he saw a soft nod of permission, gently peeling the pesky mask away from dottore's face, resting it on a nearby table. gruesome scars scattered across his face, as if a beast had mangled his skin beyond repair. the doctor's weakness, a century-long insecurity that he hid with shame.
pantalone cupped his husband's cheeks, thumbs caressing the rough skin as a soft smile grew across his lips. "perhaps i was too harsh in my questioning but my point still stands, doctor. why are you avoiding me? does the thought of being intimate with me terrifies you?"
dottore's throat tightened as his posture stiffen. he hates how the banker is so merticulously good with his deduction skills. with a defeated expression and a regrettable sigh leaving his lips, dottore lean into pantalone's hands. his voice fell to a whisper, averting his gaze in another direction. "if i were to say yes, would you scorn me with laughter?"
"not at all." pantalone answered, moving his hands away from the doctor's face and resting them on his waist instead. "have you ever been intimate with someone else before?" a redness surfaced on dottore's ears faintly, a simple shake of his head was sufficent enough as an answer.
"pleasurable desires were meaningless in the pursuit of greater knowledge. besides, other things required my full attention. particularly your lungs that you so carelessly ruined with your insatiable cigarette intake"
"this new set of lungs has the pleasure of inhaling the finest packs of nicotine. who wouldn't seize this rare opportunity, hm?"
"you're impossible" dottore grumbled, his expression only laced with faint irritation from pantalone's remark. but it didn't last long once he heard the banker's light chuckle, making his heart softened. dottore leans forward, pressing their foreheads together, the inital tension from their argument had faded, nothing but a calm stillness filled the space of the lab.
"you know i wouldn't judge you, zandik."
"... i know, feofan." pantalone's eyes slowly open, violet irises were now visible as he smiled at dottore's response. "then we can go slow, take it at your pace. if i ever do something to make you uneasy, we will stop. okay?" for once, dottore can breathe a bit easier than before. he nods, tilting his head to chase a soft kiss on pantalone's lips. it was brief, nothing special and yet it carried so much weight and meaning. perhaps he could just let go one day.. to fall and crumble in the banker's arms.
"fine, i can accept those terms. sorry for.. my earlier behavior."
"it's alright, i wasn't no better. just don't avoid me anymore, love." happiness was truly an infectious disease as a smile tug upwards on the doctor's lips, how long has it been since he felt this safe with someone? perhaps it's okay to be inexperienced, if it meant that he can share a piece of his vulnerability with his beloved one.
tags: fluff, a bit of hurt/comfort, slight humor/crack, implied reference to sexual themes (non-explicit), brief mention of arlecchino at the end.
very random ideas i had in mind. it might be OOC, so please beware and apologies in advance.
love language
pantalone's love language is definitely gift giving. with his vast wealth, he could easily buy dottore whatever he wants (as long as it's reasonable). i feel like pantalone would be a bit.. unsuccessful in making hand-made gifts, his craftmanship is rather questionable. but seeing dottore smiling and praising his handiwork makes it worthwhile.
dottore's love language might be quality of time. think about it, he spends most of his time buried in his experiments. why would he waste his time on his subordinates or fellow colleagues? especially if it doesn't interest him.
but for pantalone? he wouldn't mind adjusting his schedule a bit. if he were to visit his husband, dottore might even bring a bouquet of flowers as a gift (totally not trying to bride pantalone into raising his funds for his experiements)
daily lifestyles
it's not that a secret that pantalone smokes.. a lot. far exceeding what the human body is capable of. and dottore always reprimand him for being so careless. the most he can do is avoid smoking around his husband. good oral hygiene has become his best friend, pantalone always make sure to clean his mouth after smoking. so if he plans to kiss husband on the lips, at least dottore won't complain about his breath smelling bad.
100% dottore takes up the whole bed in his sleep. his arms and legs all over pantalone while he snores, which only annoyed his husband further. if it becomes too much, pantalone would simply wake up dottore and tell him to knock it off (or he will just hit dottore with a pillow, insisting that he ruined his "precious beauty sleep").
arguments/communciation
arguments? their communciation isn't the greatest sometimes. they are equally stubborn and admitting fault doesn't come easy. it seemed more easier to ignore each other until they were no longer hot-headed.
what if they blew up at each other? then everybody suffers (their poor subordinates). pantalone's smile would probably be more menacing than usual and wouldn't hesitate to cut everybody's funding. and dottore wouldn't mind needing more test subjects if his subordinates dare to speak a single word about their argument.
it's pretty rare for either one of them to get emotional after a heated argument. in most cases, it might be pantalone getting visibly upset because dottore becomes closed off and reserved. he's fine with dottore being irritated, but to be ignored? it might stress him out even more.
if pantalone did cry, he would rather fall into a pit of acid than let anyone see at his weakest. if dottore finds out about his husband's tears, then he would go seek him out and try to comfort him. they will take a long time to apologize, which usually ends in a verbal compromise and soft hugs (or a certain someone sleeping on the couch).
romance/intimacy
both of them are pretty versatile when it comes to intimacy. top or bottom? it really doesn't matter to them. dottore would probably be more reluctant to be on the receiving end. it takes a lot to earn his trust, to get him to be vulnerable. pantalone doesn't mind being patient with his husband.
if pantalone was on the receiving end, he would definitely be a pillow princess. sometimes, he just wants to be spoiled after a long, exhausting day. what's wrong with that, hm? regardless what position he's in, he still enjoys maintaing a bit of dominance.
pantalone was more likely to initiate kisses in their relationship, mainly cheek kisses whenever they were both busy. physical affection wasn't dottore's forte. he tried his best, sometimes resting his hand on the lower half of pantalone's back. maybe he hold his husband's hand in public, but kisses? that was rare coming from him. if dottore was to kiss him, it would mainly be in private. if it was in public, then dottore would settle for forehead kisses instead (even if he was a few inches shorter than pantalone).
fun activites (sorry arlecchino)
pantalone definitely has a skincare routine and he would most certaintly drag dottore into his facial experiments. dottore would always complain, insisting that this was useless and a waste of time. but secretly, he likes being pampered by his husband and yet he will never admit it openly.
don't let them participate in any games. either pantalone is scamming dottore out of his money in monopoly. or dottore would find ways to cheat in chess or uno, which angers pantalone (arlecchino would probably get involved somehow, serving as a referee because they can't play fair. she definitely doesn't get paid enough to deal with their bullshit-)
note: a sequel to the previous part. it's not easy to bounce back from depression but dottore tries to help.
by the doctor's order (his husband), pantalone took an indefinite hiatus from his duties. he slowly realized that he was working himself towards an early funeral, perhaps a break will do him some good. it was still difficult for him to leave his bedroom, mainly out of shame.
compared to his usual appearance, pantalone looked like a mess. his hair was no longer tamed and his eyes were still teary and bloodshot. if anything, he looked like a zombie. he sighs, bringing his knees closer to his chest and buried his face downwards. although dottore ordered the servants to serve him meals on a regular basis, pantalone refuse to eat it.
the sight of food frankly made him nauseous and at most, he would only consume light soups. today was no different, as if he made little to no progress since his emotional breakdown. he lifts his head up, extending his arm out to grab a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand. his ashtray was already full with an estimate of ten used sticks, one more wouldn't kill him.
before he had a chance to use his lighter, pantalone was interrupted by the sound of footsteps marching towards him. little did he know, the cigarette and lighter was quickly snatched out of his grasp, only deepening the frown on his face. "... was that really necessary, dottore?" pantalone knew he was in the wrong, given that dottore has constantly pestered him about reducing his smoking habits.
but right now, he really just want to relieve his sorrows and dottore was refusing it. "clearly my efforts to replace your lungs was in vain. stop smoking, i'm confiscating every single pack until you heal." dottore throws away the nicotine stick into a nearby trashcan, stucking the lighter away in the nightstand. one glance was all he needed to see that pantalone was in horrible shape.
"have you at least eaten today? you look thinner.." perhaps his wording was a bit insensitive but he was genuinely concerned. pantalone shook his head, burying his face into his knees again as a retreat. "of course not. why ask a question like that when you already know the answer?" dottore let out a frustrated sigh, eventually taking a seat on the edge of the bed.
comforting was not his specialty but he can tell that his husband was struggling a lot. he scoots closer on the bed, coming up to pantalone's side. he disregard the subtle flinch from pantalone, bringing his husband into his arms. the small tremors in pantalone's form didn't go unnoticed, making dottore softened his approach. pantalone could try all he wants to remain strong but in his current state, he's bound to crumble again. "cry, feofan. stop holding it in for my sake. i'm not going to judge you."
hesitantly, his hand runs up and down pantalone's back, letting him cry into his shoulder. dottore remain silent, even as his husband begun to weep again, feeling pantalone's hands come up to his back and grip his shirt tightly. at least he felt a bit relieved that pantalone was finally showing some emotions, it was disheartening to see his banker look like a corpse this past week.
"it's too much, everything feels so hic exhausting. i-i hate feeling so fucking hic weak." dottore hums, lifting up his hand to brush away a few tears on pantalone's face. "... do you remember what you told me before?" his hands cupped his husband's cheeks, not minding pantalone's attempt to avoid eye contact.
"i-i don't recall. what are you referring to?"
"you told me that it was okay to be human. if it was so easy for you to relay the message to me, why can't you do it for yourself?" pantalone's eyes widened, he forgot that he did say that to dottore. if he remember correctly, it must have been one of those nights when dottore had a panic attack. he dryly chuckles, no humor laced in his words as pantalone tries to look away, avoiding his husband's piercing gaze.
"that's different. i don't believe i can give myself the same sentiment, my dear doctor." dottore scoffs, slightly irritated by pantalone's dimissal, why was so he eager to put himself down? "no, stop that. feofan, look at me." his hand quickly coming up to remove his own mask, tossing it aside to a random corner of their bedroom.
he wasn't going to back down until pantalone met his eyes. with a defeated expression, pantalone reluctantly looks up, to which dottore pressed a soft kiss on his nose. "stop belittling yourself. i'm not asking you to return back to normal, i'm asking you to be vulnerable with me. how am i supposed to help when all you do is shut me out, love?" more tears build up in pantalone's eyes, to which he slap his hand over his mouth when another sob threatened to sob. sometimes he forget that dottore can be gentle when he wants to be.
"y-you should know this by now, i don't like crying."
"i don't either, if anything, i despise it. but if it's just us, you can be yourself. so stop pretending everything is fine when you are clearly struggling." with that, dottore pulls away from the embrace, just enough to grab some tissues from the nightstand.
"i hate seeing you wallow in self pity. i miss when you purposely provoke me. i miss hearing your laughter. i miss seeing you smile, whether it's genuine or not. i miss you, feofan. so come back to me."
he gently drags the tissue across pantalone's wet cheeks, cleaning up the last remnants of his tears. dottore leans forward, planting a couple of kisses in different areas of his husband's face. his forehead, his nose, both cheeks and his soft lips. not a single corner went unkissed. pantalone sniffles, for the first time in a while, a genuine smile blooms on his lips. it wss dottore's turn to return the gesture, smiling too as his thumb stroked the banker's cheek
"how are you feeling, love?"
"... a bit better, thank you. i need that." pantalone rest his head against his husband's chest, he didn't want to separate from this warm embrace. perhaps he has been too harsh on himself, a pep-talk is what he needed. "zandik?" dottore raised a brow, looking down at his husband. "yes, what is it?"
"hold me, just for today. i don't need anything else, i just want you." he admits weakly, still feeling a bit emotional after the whole ordeal. dottore sigh, nodding his head.
"fine, that's a simple request to grant. under one condition, you need to eat something other than just soup"
"but-"
"no, you need an actual meal. i'm not taking 'no' as a answer." he frowns, he wasn't going to let his husnand continue to starve. pantalone lowers his head defeatedly, compliing with dottore's firm suggestion. "alright, fine. i guess i can go for some steak.." even if it was a small victory, dottore will still take it with pride. he kissed pantalone's cheek, ignoring the pout that formed on his husband's expression.
"thank you, feofan. and.. i hope you can smile again" pantalone chuckles, his cheeks gained a rosy color as his lips tug upwards again. "oh please. you have already succeeded in that, love. i can only smile like this whenever i'm with you."
tags: hurt/comfort, explicit mentions of depression and insecurities, mental shutdowns, fluff, crying. dottore comforting pantalone after a bad day.
note: everybody has bad days, it can be mentally exhausting. there's nothing wrong with having a shoulder to cry on. this one hits close to home for me.
loud, unorganized meetings with incompetent investors and mismanagement of funds, all of this had completely soured pantalone's mood. his body was at its limits from constantly pulling all-nighters and not eating consistently.
sometimes he would intentionally skip meals because he needed to submit paperworks on time. sometimes he would randomly fall in and out of sleep at his desk, drool landing on the papers, which only makes pantalone frustrated. he truly gave up taking care of himself and slowly, it was affecting his productivity.
his mood continued to worsen and his energy was beyond depleted. until one day, he couldn't find the strength to leave his bedroom. pantalone had long since dimissed any servants from entering the private chambers, he wouldn't want his reputation to sink because of his random period of sadness. he still chosen to not eat, to leave himself buried underneath the bedsheets.
is it wrong of pantalone that he wants to escape from his responsibilities? of course pantalone takes pride in his position as the ninth harbinger. to accumulate a wealth empire where mora seemed endless was a feat that no ordinary human can achieve. especially for someone like him who came from a poor background where money was incredibly scarce.
but sometimes, things can become too much mentally and he just wants to escape from reality. pantalone heard faint knocking on the door but he made no effort to address it until someone barged in. the door shuts and locks into place once dottore enter their shared quarters, noticing his husband was hiding underneath the blankets.
he scoffs, he couldn't tell if pantalone was just being lazy or if he was trying to get some rest. "where have you been all day? i had submitted my proposals weeks ago about increasing my funding and yet i still haven't received an update." dottore walks closer to the bed, his arms crossed over his chest. he stares down at his husband's huddled up form, waiting for a response that has yet to come.
"... later, dottore. i will review the paperwork another time. i-i promise" something was definitely off and it made dottore's skin crawl a bit. pantalone was normally cocky and teasing, and now he sounds so defeated. why did his voice sound so quiet, so weak and pitiful? the small trembles in the banker's speech did not go unnoticed by dottore.
any irritation that dottore had before regarding funding was put aside, taking a seat on the bed. he takes off his mask, something he rarely does, as his hand comes up to rest on pantalone's side. "what's with you, banker? you are not normally this.. meek. it's unsettling."
he heard a sigh coming from his husband, the blankets begun to shuffle as pantalone had finally risen from his poorly-made hiding spot. for the first time today, dottore's gaze softened once he saw the tear streaks on pantalone's face, along with his red, bloodshot eyes. before dottore had a chance to speak, pantalone had already beaten him to it. "is it amusing to you to see me at my weakest?" dry sarcasm left his lips, as if he was mocking himself for being so emotionally fragile. "i can't even do my job right and i'm severely behind on a lot of paperworks. tsk, some banker i am..."
it was dottore's turn to sigh, these were some clear signs of depression. he had never consider that pantalone was suffering from lingering insecurities and seasonal depression. instead of mocking or ridiculing pantalone, dottore took a different and unexpected approach. he scoots closer, his arms coming around to bring pantalone into his arms. pantalone was a bit shocked, his face resting against his husband's shoulder.
how long has it been since he had received a warm hug? tears well up in his eyes, his vision becoming blurred and dottore only made it 'worse.' "stop fighting it and just cry already. you.. don't have to put up a facade around me, feofan. you can let go."
pantalone chokes up, his bottom lip trembling as a sob rips from his throat. he doesn't know what came over him but he ended up sobbing in dottore's arms. his body tremble, crying out his frustration and grief to his husband.
"i'm so tired, i-i can't.."
"shush, i know. i know, love" it was rare for dottore to comfort anybody, usually finding it to be meaningless. but this was his husband and clearly, pantalone needed some reassurance. through every hiccup, dottore would kiss his temple and rub his back gently. for a while, their bedroom was accompanied by the sounds of a banker's gut-wrenching cries.
once pantalone's sobbing came to a slow halt, dottore reached for a box of tissues, grabbing a few pieces and gently dapping the soft material on his husband's wet cheeks. "... feel better, beautiful?" that nickname made pantalone's heart clench, he knows dottore truly cared about his well-being. he nods his head, slightly embarrassed for getting emotional so randomly.
"yes, i am. thank you." his voice was a bit hoarse from crying, letting dottore finish wiping away any tears that lingered on his skin. another kiss was placed on his cheek, dottore's hand coming up to brush some loose hair behind his ears. "next time, take a break from work. you need it. stop trying to impress others, it will only exhaust you."
dottore's words came off as stern but he truly didn't want pantalone to overwork himself again. pantalone simply nodded, his head falling to rest on his husband's shoulders once more. dottore sighs, his banker can be so clingy sometimes, especially after crying his heart out. he pulls his husband into his lap, his hands resting on pantalone's lower back. they remained there for a bit, hugging each other without breaking contact.
"... you need to eat, i will have the servants make you a meal. you are dehydrated and starving."
"heh, nagging me so soon zandik?" a bit of pantalone's energy had returned, his head coming up to met dottore's face, his signature smile was much more softer than usual. dottore chuckles, pressing another kiss to the banker's forehead.
"that's the annoying smile that i missed so much. i love you, feofan."
"i know.. i love you too. thank you for being my safe space."
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