Things? In my universe?

It's more likely than you think...

[penny-anna]

‘Life is very full of sex, or should be. As much as I admire Tolkien — and I do, he was a giant of fantasy and a giant of literature, and I think he wrote a great book that will be read for many years — you do have to wonder where all those Hobbits came from, since you can’t imagine Hobbits having sex, can you? Well, sex is an important part of who we are. It drives us, it motivates us, it makes us do sometimes very noble things and it makes us do sometimes incredibly stupid things. Leave it out, and you’ve got an incomplete world.’ George R R Martin (source)

no disrespect to george rr martin but this quote cracks me up bcos every time i see if I’m just like, no george… you can’t imagine hobbits having sex. ;P

[penny-anna]

FOUND IT & I say again: I can imagine hobbits having sex just fine.

[ashi-sewehitsanethe]

Georgey boy here forgetting Sam’s 13 kids.

[penny-anna]

he didn’t forget about them. he just doesn’t understand where they came from.

[ashi-sewehitsanethe]

That’s even funnier, then.

[penny-anna]

george rr martin, looking at the gamgee family tree and crying: wh-where… where did they all come from…….

[scarlet-silverweaver]

this man is apparently under the impression that we need sex scenes to understand that sex exists in any given story universe and honestly that explains so much about his writing

[ailurinae]

It really does

[boopednose]

HOBBITS FUCK GOOD AND THEY FUCK OFTEN

[experimental-sponge]

“When we are going to have sex?”

“…We’ve already had it.”

“We’ve had it once, yes. What about second sex?”

[brookietf]

Does he realize The Hobbit is a children’s book?

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“I mean it’s very whimsical and fun but where are all the sex scenes”

“Sir please leave this bookshop…”

[gupdoo3]

lack of object permanence but with sex

[fangirlofall]

Wasn’t gonna reblog but the last comment killed me

[loumandliker]

cats are like. i am very small and have cute little triangle ears. also locking me out of the bathroom is a hate crime

[kennedy-the-genderfluid-punk]

@giovanni-bottesini

[giovanni-bottesini]

[4thingsandalizard]

My Child

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[badgraph1csghost]

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

[badgraph1csghost]

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

[princesstigerbelle]

I live for those pics of cats that got onto sports fields on live tv

[datasoong47]

“A collection of common glyphs of the poorly understood Memeorite civilization of the Second Silicon Age. Memeorite glyphs possess multiple conflicting interpretations and a complexity of meaning impossible to capture in a few short words. These are rough translations only.”

Source: https://twitter.com/beach_fox/status/1325668490431246336 (which include more “memeorite glyphs”

[lazorsandparadox]

[4thingsandalizard]

RIP to the random people who followed me even though I never pos-- oh wait. that's definitely a bot.

[4thingsandalizard]

I think it would save me a lot trouble if I just accepted that I am a nocturnal being. I must become one with the night: eat a bagel; learn to speak raccoon.

[emeraldotter]

cat employment

[4thingsandalizard]

kidy

[madlori]

What’s an mRNA vaccine?

Wrote this for Twitter, thought I’d reproduce it here.

[4thingsandalizard]

So to translate The Science Language to Very Much Not That:

Normal vaccines gift you immune system a little trojan horse (trojan protein?) with a glitter bomb inside instead of an army, immune system flips out because glitter is the fucking worst and posts a big DO NOT OPEN GATE FOR WOODEN HORSES on the guard tower corkboard.

Now mRNA vaccines are much cooler. They gift your immune system the Big Book Of Building Trojan Horses (proteins), and your body gets to work because we all like a good carpentry project, but it sees the result of its efforts and goes well Fuck You there’s fucking glitter in there, so now when immune system sees the army’s trojan horse it goes oh oH HO stop right there! It’s that bitch with the glitter bomb. Die.

[4thingsandalizard]

why is every single person on this site is “new to tumblr”. Do y’all periodically reset your memory or is everyone here immortal

[4thingsandalizard]

keep in mind that you're only legally entitled to six fingers

[4thingsandalizard]

some dating advice: you don't have to find someone interested in the same things as you. you can just wear them down for long enough or, apparently, introduce them to Colin Baker

[giovanni-bottesini]

Teegarden Gallifreyan

Teegarden Gallifreyan By James Teegarden (spacebass, giovanni-bottesini)

For those who expressed interest in my Gallifreyan conlang, here it is! It is, and likely will always be, a work in progress as we learn more about the language and further develop it, but my goal is to have a language that we can learn and speak and write and translate our favourite quotes into and speak in code!

Working off of @intuitive-revelations‘s excellent post outlining what we already know about the language - a single complete sentence and a handful of loosely translated words - I have created a grammar and sentence structure that is centered heavily around Gallifrey’s time-travelling culture. You can learn more about it in the document, but a translation of the sentence we hear in Cold Fusion is:

I turned around and they were all wearing eyepatches.

Which we hear in Gallifreyan as:

oolata faroon e ifey marta metryon

‘oo’ is a root for the first person singular pronoun, or ‘self’. ‘la’ is a temporal modifier, indicating the ‘self’ referred to is the speaker (the Doctor)’s current incarnation. ‘ta’ is a temporal modifier, indicating the ‘self’ referred to exists within an isolated context, in this case being that of a story. Therefore, ‘oolata’ means ‘my current self, at the time’

‘faro’ is a root verb meaning ‘to rotate’. ‘on’ is a temporal modifier, indicating past tense. Therefore, ‘faroon’ means ‘rotated’, or ‘turned around’.

‘e’ means ‘and’, in the context of a conjunction.

‘i’ is a root for the third person singular pronoun, or ‘they’. ‘fey’ indicates a paucal - or few in number - noun. Therefore, ‘ifey’ means ‘they, a small group’

‘mar’ is an adjective meaning ‘all’. ‘ta’ is a temporal modifier, indicating that ‘all’ exists within an isolated context, in this case only referring to the small group previously indicated. Therefore, ‘marta’ means ‘all of the small group’.

‘me’ is a prefix which turns an adjective into a verb. ‘try’ is an adjective, meaning ‘blind’. ‘on’ is a termporal modifier, indicating past tense. Therefore, ‘metryon’ means ‘were blinded’.

Therefore, ‘oolata faroon e ifey marta metryon’ translates directly to ‘my current self, at the time, turned around and all of the small group were blinded’.

[4thingsandalizard]

look at this gallifreyan conlang my girlfriend made!!

[giovanni-bottesini]

girl help im being reblogged

[algorithmist]

[4thingsandalizard]

I love this so much omg

[4thingsandalizard]

this is the askbox. also you don’t need to put dashes between every word of your tags if you don’t want the hassle hfjdksskdjdjksskksj

oooh cool

[4thingsandalizard]

but seriously the homepage is like a sea of empty space with one strip of incredibly cluttered content