53rdCenturyHero

. . . also available in HUMAN. Fandom fossil. Reblogger.

[richdifeo]

[victusinveritas]

Cartoon by Ellis Rosen.

[artdetrump]

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[kaijuerotica]

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

[tanukiham]

actual footage of first contact makeouts

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

[explorerrowan]

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

[zinglebert-bembledack]

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

[gallifreyanwriter]

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

[hazeldomain]

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job 

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.

[silvergryphonart]

They could have explained none of it and responded to the offered hand with a polite bow. First contact was gonna be with the guy who proved they were technologically ready for it but any human aware of Japan and China would recognise that

[victusinveritas]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

"Spending money makes a CEO look busy. And at a time when there were no other potential growth avenues, AI was a convenient way to make everybody look busy."

-Ed Zitron, "NVIDIA Isn't Enron - So What Is It?"

[gooenthusiast]

It really is just 3-8 mega corporations moving a couple (semi-) imaginary billions between each other for ai-software and data sets and ram, with boardroom members pocketing hundreds of millions each in stock & bonuses that they will only hoard and never ‚re-invest‘ into the economy.

[liberalsarecool]

The least secure Administration in history.

[anxietyproblem]

[hazeldomain]

If you can’t think of anything to say about a fic, writers also like to know:

- what time it is

- how long you’ve been reading

- how many chapters you’ve covered in the last 24 hours

- what you were late for because you were reading

- the woeful few hours you have left to sleep

- the emotional outbreaks you’re experiencing

- the inappropriate place you’re having said outbreak

- the general public’s reaction to your outbreak

- how much phone battery you have left

[secretstudentdragonblog]

…is this sarcasm, or?

[hazeldomain]

No this is completely legit. One of my favorite reviews to a chapter goes “I finished this with 5% battery and now I am crying in Target HOW DARE YOU”

[jemariel]

Can confirm. Not sarcasm.

I think this relates to the fact that fic writers are generally fic readers too. If you tell me “I loved this and that and the other thing” I will be very flattered. But if you tell me “It’s 2:30 am and I have to be up at 7 but I’m still reading” I know EXACTLY where you are, emotionally, because I’ve been there too. Knowing that I’ve put you in that place is

[depsidase]

[thunderstruck9]

Noah Davis (American, 1983-2015), Delusions of Grandeur, 2007. Acrylic and gouache on canvas, 36 x 24 in.

[muselayte]

[teathattast]

[cremsie]

Please be critical of what videos you see now. Even cute animal ones. Does the animal move kind of weirdly? Is the fur a little too smooth looking? Do all of the non dog animals make actions eerily similar to how a dog would do a trick, because that's what AI has the most visual training on replicating? Its movements a bit too quick and perfectly timed? Watch out. They're infecting collections of animal videos everywhere.

It is legitimately sickening.

[cremsie]

An example of what kind of a thing you need to look out for. This is not how a possum plays dead. This is how a DOG plays dead to make you laugh and get a treat. Because when you tell an AI to have it play dead its got thousands of dog trick videos to reference and very few possum ones in contrast. So its going to look like a dog. When a possum plays dead it actually looks.. yknow. Dead. It goes utterly limp and most of the time in my experience their mouth is open somewhat. They go utterly still, don't move at all. Even if you pick em up and nudge em around a bit they’ll usually be stiff as a board. There's videos you can find of people interacting with real possums when they’re playing dead and its incredibly different from the dog drop and roll we see here. It also almost immediately stops playing dead to wander away. Something a real possum most certainly wouldn't do. AI slop thrives off using these lower quality cam video styles to trick you. I've seen countless 'Security camera' footage of AI bullshit now and its got its tells but if you're not looking you can easily be deceived. Watch out. Do your part. Call it out. Make them ashamed. Pollution on the internet like this shouldnt be tolerated. Especially when its actively trying to lie to you. None of these have ever been labelled as AI because they're actively trying to sneak into your life.

[rowan-e-ravenwood]

SERIOUS: NEW BOT SCAM ALERT

heya!

this right here?

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT REAL.

the "@staff" is just the bio text.

tumblr staff will not contact you through anything other than email or their official accounts, which will all have this badge:

DO NOT ENGAGE WITH THIS OR SIMILAR ACCOUNTS AND ABSOLUTELY DO NOT CLICK ANY LINKS FROM IT.

report and block. i'd also appreciate it if you shared this post, bc that blog was JUST created and was already tagging a LOT of people, and i know not everyone has the scam-sensing instinct, even if this might seem obvious to some.

@staff @tumblr @support

[heywriters]

I was laughing at this account when they told one of my sideblogs it had won money in a giveaway. All the "bots" were like, half-hearted fandom accounts for fandoms Gen Z is into, and since when does tumblr have money to give away? No website does that XD

Fakest scam yet.

[tuulikki]

Any time you see a whole bunch of people getting tagged in one post, it’s such a dead giveaway for a scam. That and “hello dear”

[psychecreations]

The Children's Hour (1961) Directed by William Wyler

[userfinalgirls]

Sean Young as Rachael

BLADE RUNNER (1982) dir. Ridley Scott