5hotpotatoes

Full-time cat mom and fangirl

[isolabellz]

clingy

[medusadyke]

academic dishonesty is not something you can spin as moral lol i do not want to share a career field let alone a social sphere with a bunch of chatgpt using ass bitches

[medusadyke]

"you're just scared your diploma is going to devalue" i'm afraid you dumb bitches are going to become my colleagues and drag social services to hell

[hylianengineer]

I'm afraid they'll become scientists and data that lives depend on will turn out to be wrong - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become engineers and sign off on bridge designs that collapse - and people will die.

I'm afraid they'll become medical professionals who don't know what they're doing - and people will die.

The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter.

[constance-mcentee-deactivated20]

"The assumption that academic dishonesty is okay is rooted in the idea that what you're learning to do doesn't matter."

[drulalovescas]

Fixed the ending for us all you're welcome 👍🏻

rob was very on board

[colorlessjay]

[taps mic]

Weddings are weird. You meet weird new people there.

Hear me out

Dean's attending Sam's wedding. Marrying his college sweetheart Jessica.

Sam and Dean didn't have much in terms of blood relatives, and the family they did have were a handful of folks who took in the two scrappy Winchesters after John passed

So it comes as a massive surprise to Dean to find out Jessica's entire extended family is attending. All the way to her fifth cousins twice removed and so on. All of them are all too eager to welcome (indoctrinate) more people to the family

So while Sam is basically swept away to talk to a great great grandma during the wedding rehearsal, Dean is left to fend for himself

Where he meets Castiel, a man he assumes to be one of Jessica's distance cousins. The man is blunt, stoic, and hilarious once you realize he's actually joking and fucking with you. And boy was he easy on the eyes too. The perfect person to spend this weekend with

He's Dean's saving grace and all this and honestly? Dean finds himself seeking the man out more and more as the week end goes on

It's only during the actual reception itself that Dean has the crushing realization

The man he was planning to take back to his hotel room after the wedding party... Is the pastor

And he just made a pass at him the other night

[lightasthesun]

hi! you post about codywan a lot &I kinda fell out of fandom for a while. do you happen to have some fic recs that have been published last year and if yes, would you kindly share them? (I mean it's pretty easy to find the fics that have thousands&thousands of kudos, so yeah, other than those ones) thanks in advance if you do!!!

Oh do I!

Thank you for giving me an excuse to share some codywan fic recs nonny!

I could rec so many more but I'll keep it brief for now (check out the authors other codywan works for more recs!)

Codywan Sleep Bingo by cabezadeperro (minigami)

Look after you by elliemiller

if it's quite alright by elliemiller

Linger by smoosey (smooseys)

I am teaching myself how to be free by tattooedgreenhouse

Lay my hands on heaven by slotmachines_fearofgod

The Power of Advertising by goldleaf1066

I'll bend your light around me (A sunrise at my back) by goldleaf1066

Wake Turbulence by goldleaf1066

The stuff of fairytales (mostly) by goldleaf1066

The veil by the_neurodivergent_nerd

The universe was made (just to be seen by my eyes) by fivecenturiesverse

val mureyca t’ad ca’narae (they kiss twice)? by foreverchangingfandoms

at trattok'or o'r kar'taylir darasuum acyk te sarad’e (to fall in love amidst the flowers) by foreverchangingfandoms

Cotton Candy Sunsets by InsertSthMeaningful

Your Troubles and your Heart Strife by InsertSthMeaningful

But please, not you too by lothcatthree

You and I bathed in eternal summers glow by KindOfASorcerer

[frownyalfred]

“DC should let you write for them” DC should absolutely not let me write for them. I would shamelessly blow the entire budget on a poorly established Superbat plotline with every single Robin/Batkid ever somehow folded into the plot, sans any clue as to their ages or continuity and also Alfred would be insanely buff with 0 explanation. do u see the vision

[5hotpotatoes]

I am failing to see any possible reasons why this disqualifies you from writing for DC. In fact, all I am seeing are more and more reasons why you SHOULD.

I'll sign the petition

[5hotpotatoes]

230

[brokenphoenix99]

Our Hearts Bleeding Out

Full Image (CW blood and injury), triple drabble and close-ups under the cut ....

***

Cody's head snaps up to the sound of the ray shield deactivating as Obi-Wan's limp body is tossed to the hard floor. Cody glares at their captors, not giving them the satisfaction of his reaction at seeing his General so hurt. He clenches his fists around the chains that keep him restrained; the only thing that's keeping him from attacking them.

The ray shield hums and activates again, turning the dark room a deep, bloody red.

Cody's attention is drawn to Obi-Wan as his General coughs weakly, and then breathes out harshly. He pulls himself towards Cody, slowly - painfully slowly, his bloody hands scrabbling for purchase as they leave scarlet handprints on the rough duracreet floor. The heavy-looking Force supression collar and wrist cuffs scrape and clank with Obi-Wan's feeble attempts to drag himself towards Cody - towards comfort. Towards home.

"General, Obi-Wan... "

Streaks of blood smear behind Obi-Wan as he drags himself closer. Obi-Wan can almost reach and touch Cody's knee guard but the effort is too great. Obi-Wan's breathing is now laboured and noisy - deep rattling gasps echo around the cell. The effort of moving finally overwhelms him.

"Obi-Wan! Please, Ob'ika," Cody doesn't really know what he's asking - begging. Strung up in chains as he is there's nothing he can do to help and he feels so helpless - useless!

A desperate, bloody hand swipes at Cody's leg and Cody sees the smeared hand print on his knee guard as Obi-Wan makes one final attempt to get to him. Cody furiously shakes and pulls at the chains, rattling them in rage that he can't reach Obi-Wan. He screams out in anger and frustration. This CAN'T be how it ends!

Obi-Wan's breathing starts to falter, and Cody can now see a pool of blood seeping from underneath his General's robes.

"Obi-Wan!"

I was inspired by this delicious Whump Prompt by @comfortingcatharsis - thank you SO much for all your DELICIOUS whump prompts and ideas!!! *grabby hands* 🤗😈😏👌🏻

(Also on ao3 here )

(For a sharper image click here)

Tiny art Tag list: @loverboy-havocboy @earlgreyci @elismor @mereelskirata

[faerytale-wings]

Husband called me into the bedroom to show me the tag on our mattress cover, he was very proud.

“This seems like something tumblr will like! It’ll get you all the notes…ReTumbls? It’ll get you all the ReTumbls.”

[faerytale-wings]

It’s important you all know he has this opened on his second monitor, delightedly refreshing it every few minutes to read the notes.

[radwolf76]

[kal8elle]

By J. Gonzo

[5hotpotatoes]

This is Dean. He likes his personal space.

This is Castiel. He likes Dean's personal space too.

[insomniacirl]

Sometimes I'm laughing and then I remember that Dean Winchester confessed that there were things he wanted to feel differently- and he confessed it in a little wooden box, next to a man who believes in a higher power that Dean knows is out to get him.

[5hotpotatoes]

And then they just didn't ever say anything about that again. Man literally said that there were things, people, that he wanted to experience differently, or maybe for the first time. He all but said "I'm having a sexuality crisis about my best friend, who, btw, is an ANGEL OF THE LORD" and nothing ever happened because of it.

[darthrevcn]

star wars au where instead of going into hiding obi-wan hides in plain sight and gets a job at space buzzfeed writing embarrassing clickbait articles about anakin like ‘top 10 embarrassing stories darth vader doesn’t want you to know!’

[systemic-dreams]

only 10?

[forcearama]

OMG. 

Yes. Yes yes.

[lurkingcrow]

#except this needs to happen WITH the Texts From Vader AU#so that Vader keeps texting him all ‘OH COME ON THAT LAST ONE IS A HALF-TRUTH’#‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Anakin I am obviously in quiet hiding somewhere and not writing articles about you’#‘THAT LAST ONE HAD PICTURES OF ME FROM YOUR CELL PHONE’

Given that IIRC this is the same AU where Obi-Wan loses a Kenobi look-alike competition, he could pull off some true Clark Kent shenanigans here…

At the Space Buzzfeed Offices:

“How does your reporter manage to get all these scoops?!”

“He claims he has impeccable insider sources. Which he refuses to reveal of course - such journalistic integrity! Always right on the money too, never publishes anything we need to retract later! Ben’s a true professional!”

“You know, if you take off the glasses, Ben kind of reminds me of that General, you know, the one from the Clone Wars? Also a Kenobi? Obi-Wan! That’s it!”

“Huh. Maybe they’re distantly related but personally I don’t see it. The Jedi were all cold and aloof but I keep catching Ben texting his boyfriend all kinds of sappy nonsense!”

“You’re right - apart from the eyes they’re nothing alike, I mean Ben is such a sweetheart, he wouldn’t hurt a fly!”

“Senator Organa, I’m so happy you agreed to my request for an interview!”

“My pleasure, Ben, I am of course a keen supporter of our free and independent press. My fervent wish is that it remain so for the foreseeable future. As such I wish to draw your attention to the recent proposals for greater regulation of media organisations within the Empire and in particular to the section mandating background checks for all registered journalists. I would truly hate for my daughter to grow up in a galaxy where the undocumented nature of many survivors of the recent conflict limits their career options to the more isolated sections of the Outer Rim.”

“Oh I’m sure it won’t come to that, Senator!”

*between gritted teeth* “If you say so.”

“Ben are you sure about this?” 

“What seems to be the problem, my dear?”

“Your article implies that Lord Vader has an obsession with a pancakes.”

“And?”

“Are… are we completely sure he actually has a mouth? He never eats at formal balls after all.”

“I assure you my source is quite adamant that Lord Vader’s current spate of rash decisions are in part due to his inability to acquire a reliable source of breakfast goods. I do not make these things up, only report them, after all.”

“Alright then. But we’re spoofing the submission ID to be from Onderon just in case.”

I should not be laughing at this concept so much…

[forcearama]

Hahaha, easily one of my favorite things here is that Undercover Reporter Kenobi wears glasses as part of his Very Effective Disguise. 

[lurkingcrow]

Well of course he wears glasses! He also takes care to part his hair on the OPPOSITE side and *shudder* wear colours other than beige! He is serious about being undercover you know!

It drives Bail nuts because HE IS RIGHT THERE! How does the Emperor, or Vader for that matter, NEVER NOTICE! 

Obi-Wan just laughs and points out that the last time he saw Vader face to face the Sith rudely broke off his conversation with “Ben” mid sentence in order to follow up a lead on General Kenobi’s whereabouts. After all, “Ben” is just a simple reporter from the Outer Rim - he regularly sends funds back to his family on Tatooine and his desk is lined with pictures of his beloved nephew! What could be suspicious about that?

Bail is going to have so many grey hairs, he just knows it!

[albaparthenicevelut-deactivated]

It is a little known fact that before the ominously attractive, Imperial attack dog, Darth Vader embarked on his career as a killer of ladies, and gentlemen, and wookies, and ambiguously gendered Zlephhhssss from the planet, Zircon, and- but I digress.

Anyway, before our dearest Darth was a killer of ladies, he fancied himself something of a ladykiller. One of my sources, personally witnessed him tell a woman “she was beautiful, for a senator.” This suaveness has served him well in his duties, I’m sure….

“General Kenobi, Master Kenobi, OBI WAN KENOBI, OBI WAN”

“Ben” Kenobi continued on typing, ignoring the increased volume of the shouter.

“Jonah, you need to stop harassing poor Ben about being Obi Wan Kenobi. The man doesn’t look anything like him. It’s embarrassing. Also, if one more person reports you to HR for disruptive shouting, you’ll be fired for sure,” Another voice intervened.

“BUT HE IS! HE IS-“ a sharp shushing sound cut off the shouting.

“He is Obi Wan Kenobi!!!” The voice continued this time with considerably less volume and considerably more petulance.

Ben smirked slightly into his screen. A hand touched his shoulder. The smirk vanished from his face as if it had never been. He blinked innocently up at the owner of the voice.

“Do you need anything, Sharra?” He asked.

“Just wanted to apologize for Jonah over there. And ask you not to report him to HR, he’s going through a tough time right now-“

“Oh was Jonah calling me Obi Wan Kenobi again? I don’t even register that name, it’s so completely unfamiliar to me. It’s no trouble. It’s flattering really. I mean, if only I had the former general’s hair!!!!” They both chuckled together.

“Oh hey, what are you writing another one of your scarily, accurate articles about Lord Vader? Man, maybe you are Obi Wan!!” She said jokingly.

“Me? Obi Wan Kenobi?” Ben winked, “my dear, I don’t look anything like him.”

Somewhere behind them, Jonah screamed in frustration.

[lurkingcrow]

I love this. So much. No doubt things escalate at some point and Ben ends up becoming the primary reporter on all Jedi sighting stories (because the other staff think it’s the BEST in-joke ever). I mean can you imagine?…

.

“Ben! It’s awful! You need to leave right now!”

“Calm down, Sharra. What seems to be the problem?”

“It’s… It’s Lord Vader! He’s here!”

“Here? At our offices?”

“Yes! And he’s asking for you!”

“Oh my, that does seem a little strange. Please be a dear and show him in?”

“What? But Ben! What if he’s angry with you about your articles?! You know better than anyone what they say about his temper!”

“Shh my dear, I’m sure it will be fine. Lord Vader would hardly…”

“YOU! REPORTER! I WOULD SPEAK TO YOU. NOW.”

“Of course Lord Vader! Sharra, if you could give us some privacy? Thank you. There we go. Ah yes, how can I help you, my Lord?”

“WHERE IS KENOBI?!!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand…”

“DO NOT PLAY GAMES WITH ME. YOUR INFORMATION COULD COME FROM ONLY ONE SOURCE. WHERE IS OBI-WAN KENOBI?”

“Oh, I am most sorry Lord Vader, but I’m afraid as a matter of journalistic integrity I must keep all my anonymous sources, well, anonymous.”

“DO YOU THINK I AM A FOOL? OBI-WAN KENOBI IS FEEDING YOU INFORMATION AND I HAVE PROOF.”

“Oh, that’s a nice model communicator! Very sleek. But it’s not really…”

*Black gloved finger points to text messages on screen*

“Ah. Those accusations do look rather familiar. Very similar to what my source suggested, and I must say I am delighted that you would offer me confirmation of…”

“KENOBI IS YOUR SOUCE.”

“I can neither confirm not deny. I can however tell you that even if I was receiving information from a Jedi source I would be unable to provide you with a location as all tipoffs arrive in my work inbox after being sent from a device with an untraceable ID code!.”

“… HE IS A CUNNING FOE INDEED. AND YET. YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHEN HE WILL NEXT APPEAR.” 

“Um…”

“HE HAS CHOSEN TO CONFIDE HIS PLANS TO YOU, BUT WHY?”

“Er…”

“TELL ME, REPORTER, WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL TO HIM?”

“Oh, I, er… I don’t know. I mean I’m just a simple man who values the role of the media in…”

*the gloved hand picks up a holo on the desk. It is of a small blond boy grinning in front of a double sunset.*

“TATOOINE. YOU HAVE TIES TO THAT ACCURSED PLANET. I SEE. OBI-WAN HAS GROWN SENTIMENTAL IN HIS OLD AGE.”

*inaudible muttering - “old age!?”* 

 *Ahem*. “Forgive me Lord Vader, but I do not see how my familial background would lead anyone to…”

“NO MATTER. HE WILL NOT ESCAPE ME FOR LONG. REPORTER, I AM TO BE INFORMED OF ALL FUTURE COMMUNICATIONS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

“Of course Lord Vader.”

“GOOD. THAT WILL BE ALL”

*footsteps disappear. there is a small *ping* from a device hidden in the desk drawer*

Anakin: Ha! You think you’re so clever - using a journalist to hide your location! I’m onto you now! :P

Obi-Wan: Oh no. You have found me out. Whatever will I do?  

Anakin: Surrender! :D :D :D   Or at least stop spreading those ridiculous articles. :(

Obi-Wan: … no.

[albaparthenicevelut-deactivated]

Does this mean that Obi Wan is snapping photos of himself posing with his lightsaber and Jedi clothing and publishing those picture in his trashy Space!clickbait???? Is he basically Peter Parker???? LOOOOOOL.

Vader is just like:

GIVE ME KENOBI, PUNY REPORTER!!! GIVE HIM TO ME NOW!!!!! 

And “Ben” is just like:

I never give up my sources……

[lurkingcrow]

(That is an absolutely perfect gif @albaparthenicevelut!!!!!)

Well of course he does - gotta keep those readers happy and remind Vader exactly what he’s missing!

I maintain though he’s still more Clark Kent than Peter Parker, if only because his bosses aren’t directly on an anti-Jedi crusade. I mean, the time Ben comes in with an actual interview with the former General himself they were over the moon! 

(Well they would be if Coruscant Imperial Center HAD a moon.) 

Vader meanwhile is constantly checking in with Ben, like:  Has Obi-Wan mentioned Anakin Skywalker at all? Like, how handsome he was? Or how good a pilot? Are there any hints that Obi-Wan is working with the rebellion? Offering them pancakes aid that they don’t deserve? Does he have enough blankets?

After all threatening the reporter does not good if it cuts off his supply of Obi-Wan updates. He got very excited when the interview came out, but accepted Ben’s sad admission that he never met Obi-Wan face to face, and that it was all conducted over the comms. Vader apologizes for the broken door. A gift basket full of expensive chocolate arrives the next day along with an polite inquiry about the most recent updates to the Kenobi tracking initiative.

Bail cannot believe this shit.

[lurkingcrow]

You know, I just realised that this verse has VERY interesting implications with regards to a certain former Jedi. I mean, can you imagine Ahsoka being all :

“Master Kenobi is alive?!” 😃 “But Vader is chasing him.” 😠 “And this reporter seems to know him.” 🤔 “I’ll go talk to Bail about making contact! Obi-Wan needs my help!” 😀

And Bail just bangs his head on his very expensive desk because the LAST thing he needs right now is Vader’s former apprentice deciding to take a leaf from Kenobi’s book and hide as junior news photographer…

[minnieloveforone]

‼️NOT THAT BIG OF A SPOILER FOR THE NEW SUPERMAN MOVIE BUT STILL‼️

The funniest thing about the new Superman movie was that the civilians of Metropolis fled to Gotham out of all places to not be in danger 😭

[5hotpotatoes]

To be fair, in Gotham, usually you don't have to worry about some extra terrestrial threat, just people with PhDs having a very public, probably valid, crash out.

[be-nice-2-me]

god this movie was so amazing

[thinkmarkthink-deactivated20250]

Clark Kent has interviewed a lot of people. Politicians. CEOs. Ex-cons. His husband is the only one who’s ever started an interview by looking directly into the lens and asking, “Wait, is this live?”

It’s not an act, Clark keeps insisting. People assume Bruce is pretending to be dumb. But no. Bruce is committed to the bit. The bit is now part of federal tax records. The bit once made Anderson Cooper laugh so hard he dropped his mic on CNN.

Clark: “So what’s your stance on WayneTech’s international regulation protocols?”

Brucie: “I think dolphins should have more rights. Did you know they can vote in Sweden? Wait—can they? I made that up. But they should.”

Clark cuts the feed, facepalms. Later, at home, he finds Bruce reading Foreign Policy Quarterly like it’s bedtime fiction and making margin notes with a red pen.

Bruce looks up, blinks innocently. “Did I do good?”

“You drove me to invent a new eye twitch. And Perry is going to kill me.”

“And…?”

“….They won’t suspect a thing, Sweetheart.”

[5hotpotatoes]

Bruce goes into a trance state. He doesn't remember what he said during these states, which helps to add to the persona.

Everyone in his life has wondered at one point or another if he has another person living in his head named Brad who lives in a frat house and only consumes protein powder, beer, and ramen.

(Same still believe)

[witchy-worm]

When Sam calls shotgun but Dean and Cas can't go 5 minutes without holding hands.

I started this ages ago and still don’t really like it BUT I need to throw it out into the world so I won’t spend any more time thinking about it 😅