hi friend! @a-chuu - Tumblr Blog

instead of "people pleaser" it might be better to think "disapproval fearer" if that's the emotional stick that's motivating action; important to consider at least three reasons to do something:

it's a good thing to do

I want to do the thing

people will be mad if I don't do the thing

and if 3. is the most weighty reason then that's a potential problem.

oceanglass9000

So two phrases that has stuck with me most my life and while not always right has most definitely been worth thinking about,

"It's not your fault, but it is your problem"

"You don't have to, but no one else will if you don't"

radiqueer

Human relationships are not transactional but they are reciprocal, which I think many of you with your ‘i don’t owe anyone anything’ shtick are too happy to forget

aromanticduck

Transactional: everything has to be exactly 50/50 all the time, pay me back for the £5 sandwich or buy me something worth exactly £5, I refuse to make an effort for you if there’s nothing in it for me

Reciprocal: you were there for me when I needed help, and I’m going to do the same for you, it doesn’t matter if one of us needs more or is capable of less, because the point is not equivalent exchange but mutual care

dreaminginthedeepsouth

Oh shit. Sally Field kinda went off here. “The garment you knit for yourself as a child.” Might have to read her memoir now.

[Chris Dennis]

the-tree-line

the problem with having a decade old tumblr blog is that there are posts on it from a decade ago

rederiswrites

lovely story from a friend today.

dicaeopolis

rederiswrites

Look, this post has been wildly more popular than I thought it deserved, apparently at least in part because "don't burden others; be independent" is far more ingrained in people than I realized. So here's the thing: society works when people help each other. Helping others gives people a chance to know each other, and gives them an investment in the people they help. Helping creates bonds. People enjoy helping, and you are doing a good by letting them help you if they so wish.

Offer help; accept help. You will be a part of creating a helping culture. Which, incidentally, weakens capitalism and the fractionation between people that benefits those who would use us.

netherworldpost

A horrifyingly few years ago I realized asking for help builds trust, too.

If I ask you for help then I demonstrate you can ask me for help.

That.

Was a difficult lesson.

the-haiku-bot

If I ask you for

help then I demonstrate you

can ask me for help.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

rubysapphrald

my mom is helping me job hunt and when i told her my dream job is to sit in one place and sort stuff by color all day she made a really disgusted face and said “you want to work on a fucking assembly line?” like yeah

anastacialy

not to philosophize on your personal post or whatever but this really illustrates the problem with capitalism because there's literally nothing wrong with working in an assembly line—other than, of course, the way the workers are treated.

you (and me, let's be honest, because i would love to have a job like that) not only deserve to sort things by color all day but to also be treated with dignity and get paid a thriving wage for that work, and i am so very confused by why that's a controversial statement.

the best job i ever had was making cushions for packages out of tissue paper. just over and over and over again. i had the best time doing that. it just would have been nice if it wasn't ten hour shifts without air conditioning or seating.

nowisthewinter

Not everyone wants to be the king. Some people simply want to work the stables because they get to be around horses all day.

filenesdebasement

“no one likes to be around an eeyore”

excuse me eeyore had TONS OF FRIENDS, your statement is patently untrue according to WINNIE THE POOH CANON

ten-and-donna

The whole point of Eeyore’s character was that despite his depression, he had tons of friends and was always included in their lives.

gothiccharmschool

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

anxietyproblem

prettypositivity

i hope that you become filled with so much happiness that it heals every part of you

studentlifeproblems

jenny-jinya

Full and finished short-story of the black cat. Please have a heart for black pets in general, animals do not deserve this kind of hostility. Please give credit when reposting, Thank you :)

gremlinnit-deactivated20211020

im fucking bawling thanks for that

peachykopii

Nooo my heartttt

virgil-is-a-cutie

My fucking heart omfg

dreamsequencer

snorlaxatives

i just wanna give a special shoutout to pineapples for being literally one of the best fruits in the world they’re sweet and juicy and everything a fruit should be