A fallen wing

"Been anorexic for more than 3 years, this year I plan to be a survivor...!"

[a-fallen-wing]

Recovery win

U know when u have a supper that really stresses u...well i have that kind of supper tonight and u know what? I just ate a slice of opera caje with fruit for a snack before eatig bacon-beef&cheese tonight bcuz i craved that sweetness from the cake soo anorexia, GO FUCK URSELF! And food, get in my belly♡

[balancedeli]

If you didn´t decide if you want to recover then watch this 

[a-fallen-wing]

Valentine's day

Today is valentine's day and mist of the time, it is considered the day of love. We show love towards the people we love which is a great thing actually, but before all i think we must say ILove you to the most important person in our life: US. So before saying i love you to all your dear ones, say it to yourself. You are so worth it!♡♥

[a-fallen-wing]

Thats it my friends, dont worry, lets just be happy ♡

[a-fallen-wing]

-.-"

Dont know if any of you can relate but did you already have one od these days where u feel fat at the same same time as feeling pretty, u want to eat tons of food while not wanting to eat any? These days where u know that recovery id0s for the best but at the same time, u scared as hell? Well today, is one of those days..... -.-"

[kendrawcandraw-deactivated20190]

[d-light-ful]

note to self

[a-fallen-wing]

I just like it.... <\3

[a-fallen-wing]

..I hope that u liked it...

I want to be free, I want to live. I want to be someone, I want to be myself. I want that part of me that I hate to be loved. I want to stop that self-destruction I’m so used to do to stop, that is what I want. I want to tell the world everything I kept shut; I want to tell them how wrong they were to believe that my life was easy. I want to tell them how much I struggle every day, how much I hated the person I had become. I want to do a lot of things, I want to find my way in this world, I want someone to tell me how beautiful I am, to tell me that everything will be just fine. I want a hug, some love, a ear to listen t my complains, a shoulder where I could spend every tear my eyes have. I want to be loved, I want to be free. I want to love that body, to look at my thighs and tell them “I love you.” I want to gain weight and just be fine with it. I want to stop caring about my image. I want so much but I can’t do it all. I can’t have it all. My life is what it is and I don’t have that person, I don’t have that someone, I don’t have this shoulder, this hug, this voice. I don’t have them, I never had them. But, it is enough because I’ll pick myself up. I’ll be fine by myself, everything will be fine, and everything will turn out okay. I still won’t love myself, I still won’t be that person I always dreamed about becoming but I think it is fine too. I’ll probably never come to love my thighs, to love my body, I’ll probably just support it all my life and that is fine too. I’m not perfect, I’m not a unicorn. I’m not that girl everyone thought I was. I’m not always smiling, I’m not always nice, and I’m not always generous. I get mad, I yell, I despise some things, I don’t like things too. I don’t always feel like helping, I don’t always feel like helping when no one wants me around when I’m not needed. I’m human. I’ve got feelings and damn it, it hurts so much when they just don’t care. But, I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine because I don’t have a choice. Because I won’t let myself die, I won’t let myself fall. No matter what people say or think, no matter how they act towards I won’t let it bring me down because even though there are days unbelievably hard, I’ll just get up and get my work done. Why? Because I’m strong, because I want to be free. Because fighting for my life has been my priority since forever. And even though it doesn’t always look like it, I’m sorry for not always being honest, for not being always able to do everything correctly. But it is what it is. I’m not perfect, I’ve got my issues. I’ve got my life, I’ve got work to do. I’ve got a future to look for and I am not letting that stop me ever again. That freedom, I’ll take it back. That life that I lost during the fight, I’ll gain it back. I may not love myself ever, but I’ll got a life that I loved.

- me, but i hope that youll like it:)

[justedrecoverythings]

"I tried to be anorexic/bulimic, but I just like, didn’t have the willpower."

Me:

[a-fallen-wing]

From a broken heart

I dont usually post anything personal but i really do feel bad and i just want to vent out, in fact i just wanted to thank my dad for making me feel like shit, it is a good thing to tell your daughter to just go and jump from a bridge, it is a good thing to tell her that the only thing left to do is watching her and buying her flowers, really thanks a lot....i soo much appreciate it....thanks dad, i dont love you too, i dont feel like fighting anymore, so thanks for being a fucking insensible dad....thanks.

[fauxbeat-deactivated20150207]

(Anorexia Recovery) I love putting on weight!

[a-fallen-wing]

That says it all!!:)

[a-fallen-wing]

Honestly, sincerely, do you think that being at war against yourself and depriving yourself of things that you love will make you live a life worth living? I, sometimes, think about it and I realize how wrong I was to let myself trap in anorexia....sometimes, its just too hard

[melatoxin]

I still think my hips are too big. And some nights the sadness is overwhelming,And some days I don’t want to get out of bed.But I do. I get out of bed. I eat my breakfast, and I pack my lunch. I choose food I like instead of food with the least amount of calories, and I don’t feel faint at work - I walk tall and strong and I smile at people and sometimes, they smile back. I speak my thoughts and feel my feelings and I’m not afraid to need help. I still need help. Some days I want to stop eating. Some days I cry because my jeans feel too tight. But I bought new jeans, and they look amazing on me. I don’t have a thigh gap anymore. But I do have legs that walk me all over a city as full of wonders as any I have ever seen; a city I chose. I’m living a life I chose. Because I chose to live.

Recovery doesn’t mean recovered - it just means choosing life (k.r.)

This is me in poem form. All of these things.

(via yummy-recovery)

That is juust beautifully written

[a-fallen-wing]

I believe we all fail at something along the way, i belive we all think about giving up somewhere when things start getting to hard to handle but i also believe we are strong, weve got courage, weve the determination of never going back because weknow its not worth it...! I belive we will all get through this, not for for others but dor ourselves and that is, ni matter how hard things will get cuz we are warriors!

[a-fallen-wing]

[a-fallen-wing]

Trust life....♡

[dryyoureyes-startbelieving]