Okay okay okay okay so compromise: any y'all gentllemen reading want some tips, here we go, otherwise feel free to ignore
1. The seam that attaches the sleeve of your shirt to the shoulder is called the Armscye, and it can show if your shirt fits. (I've heard it pronounced Arm-Sky or Arm-sigh. IDC I use both.)
If your t-shirt or sweater or jacket has this seam sticking out past your shoulder, it's too big. If it rides up your shoulder towards your neck and leaves your upper arm bulging in the sleeve, it's too small.
You want this seam running straight up and down over the end of your shoulder, pointing down towards your armpit.
In a jacket, raise your arm above your head- if the shoulder bunches up into a triangle, too big. Stand with your shoulder to a wall- if it crunches up, it's too big. If you cross your arms and your back gets tight, it's too small. If it's tight in the armpits, go up two sizes and see how that feels.
2. Shoes come in widths as well as lengths. Narrow, broad, and regular. If the sides of your feet feel squished, you need a broader shoe. If you have loose shoes and scuffed heels and experience ankle pain, try narrower shoes. This can help with general aches as well as back pain- the way you lace up your shoes can also adjust the shoe to accommodate for foot shape and walk. Look some up online!!
3. The sole of your shoe is important. When you check out a new pair of shoes, bend the sole from heel to toe in your hands. If the shoe bends in half, it's not going to offer enough support. If it doesn't bend at all, it'll restrict your full range of motion and cause soreness. You want a sole that's flexible enough to bend a little at the ball of the foot, in a tip-toe sort of shape.
4. Check out your skin tone to find out what colours suit you best. This isn't some random nonsense we made up to make women feel bad- it's colour theory. Some colours will make you look drained, sickly, and washed-out, while other colours will compliment your hair, skin, and eyes to help you look healthier and draw attention to certain features.
Think about colours you've been complimented for in wearing. Blue? Green? Red? They likely suit your tone. Colours in your tone will draw attention to your eyes, lips, hair, and physique- yes, your physique, even if you don't think you have one- and will highlight them to your advantage.
(NOTE: Don't think 'costume', think 'lighting'- nobody looks their best in a gas station bathroom, but dim restaurant lighting is nice, right? Colours do the same thing.)
Skin Tone refers to the undertone of your skin, not your ethnicity or skin colour. Skin tones include Cool, Warm, Neutral, and Olive- or Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer, as you've likely heard them called. There are charts online primarily targeted to women, but work universally for figuring out your own complimentary range of colours.
5. Wash your sheets, towels, facemasks and pillowcases as often as possible, or at least switch them for clean ones. 'clean' isn't just about smell- your body sheds thousands of dead cells every day, and the bacteria that eat these cells live and thrive wherever they fall. And these bacteria? They cause acne. Backne. Allergy breakouts. Rashes. Oily skin. Please, please wash what you clean and sleep in.
6. You probably have used 2 in 1 hair wash at least once in your life. Want to do yourself a solid? Buy those separate. Shampoo will clean, conditioner will hydrate and reduce damage. Your hair will feel softer and get less oily.
7. Rub your hands together real quick. Do they feel papery? Do they snag soft fabrics? Get a Pumice Stone. Keep it in the bathroom. When you shower, use it to scrub the palms of your hands and the bottoms of your feet to remove dead skin and peeling calluses.
This isn't something you NEED to do, but it will make your skin softer and smoother, minimize cracking, minimize your chances of getting topical infections, prevent calluses from ripping, and increase your sensitivity to touch- REALLY. Soft socks, soft gloves, blankets, fur, soap- things feel softer and smoother when you don't have a thick buildup of dead, insensitive, dried-out mummy skin in the way. And go gentle- the last thing you want is a friction burn. Do NOT pumice your face.
8. Lube. Get a good lube for whatever need you have. Oil and silicone-based lubes break down toys and they break down condoms, but they're totally fine for skin-on-skin. Water-based lubes are toy and condom-safe, and come in warming, cooling, tingling, and flavored options. It also tends not to stain fabrics like oil-based lubes do.
9. Cis Men can have multiple orgasms. Barring medical complications, everybody can have two kinds of orgasm: clitoral and g-spot, or penis and p-spot, or 'prostate'.
Prostate orgasms sound scary to men with penises because our first thought at 'prostate' is 'penetration', but there's a fun and funky thing called the 'external prostate orgasm' that involves stimulating the area behind the testes, above the anus with fingers or a vibrator.
I considered not putting that fact in this list, but you know what? Sex health is body health, and masturbation is normal. Everyone should have good orgasms. The End.
10. Spend some time in front of a mirror. Some evidence has been found that just the act of putting thought into one's appearance, even in small, minimal ways, can boost your self-confidence for the day. Start out by giving yourself little compliments, and if you feel silly, let yourself feel silly! Do you have nice eyes? Nice lashes? Nice nose? Nice jawline? A big barrel belly? Did you trim your beard? Cut your nails? Fuck yeah! Own that!
11. Pants. Pants that bunch around the ankles give you the illusion of reduced height. Pants that cut clean at the heel and rest at the top of your shoe lend the illusion of increased height, and appears professional and clean-cut. Suit pants with seams along the front of the legs are a bit old-fashioned, and pants that are smooth on all sides (like sharks) are currently in style.
12. Also not vital, but the universal rule of thumb is belt, bag, and shoes must match. Again, it's not of the utmost importance, but if you're dressing up semi-final or even just a bit crisper than usual, matching belt and shoes gives the impression that you know what you're doing.
I don't know what I'm doing. I never know what I'm doing. But do I look fly as fuck? Yeah I do.
13. Lingerie and shit. Listen. You can buy yourself cute underwear if you want. Speaking as someone who's usually a lady? Who sells lingerie? You can say it's a gift. You can say it's for you. Whatever. We're not all hovering over your shoulder whispering that you're a pervert. Anyone who DOES is a dickhead, and at least where I work, that sort of shit will get them kicked the fuck out. And you know what? It comes in designs for penis-having folks now, too. I know my place has a nice black lace pair with garters for as little as 10 canadian bucks. Treat yo self
I don't know what else to add but yeah please treat yourself gently and love your life? You deserve good things
