living like an ant in a microwave

L || 20s || they/them i'm a disaster nb from the pnw & this is my blog. the theme is: Anything I Like. currently into genshin impact, mdzs, LoZ et cetera

[enbycrip]

[smol-blue-bird]

sometimes when I'm bored, I go through the list of recent bad faith Wikipedia edits that have since been reverted. a lot of them are politically contentious/offensive topics that attract crazies and trolls in general, but sometimes there are completely innocent inoffensive articles that people attack for no reason. some guy yesterday vandalized the article on the chemical element francium

[thirdchoiceurl]

Francium IS a stupid element. It has a half life of 22 minutes and barely exists at all, only naturally occurring as a product of the extremely rare alpha decay series ²³⁵U ➝ ²³¹Th ➝ ²³¹Pa (𝜷 decay) ➝ ²²⁷Ac ➝ ²²³Fr (1.38% chance). There’s less than a gram of it on earth at any given moment. It has no uses to anybody and it isn’t even the most reactive group 1A element due to relativistic effects fucking up its electron binding energies. Stupid substance.

If you somehow asked a genie to get you a gram of Francium in a sealed vial so you could do an experiment with it, the genie would just give it to you because the enormous amount of radioactivity it produces would instantly vaporize the sample and cook you alive. Absolute dogshit isotope and its synthetic siblings are just the same but worse

[bimyheel]

found the guy

[junglejim4322]

Something I think about a lot is when dj khaled spent a day lost at sea on a jet ski literally just because he drove away and got lost and started live posting about it and as he got increasingly panicked he started making like inspirational insta stories about his opps wanting him to fail even though he was entirely responsible for the situation and just started saying shit like “they don’t want you to WIN. they don’t want you to get found when you’re lost at sea in the dark”

[szyszkasosnowa]

Holy shit guys I just duck duck went Moby Dick and THE LOGO TURNED INTO AN UNHOLY HYBRID BETWEEN A DUCK AND A WHITE WHALE????

[rosslynpaladin]

I can't get over DuckDuckWent as a past tense of using duckduckgo as a verb. Like yes youre right BUT

[noodles-07]

everything I hate about ai and love about wikipedia on one image

[guysonroblox]

guess what I'm fucking makingggg

[guysonroblox]

first time making crab rangoons, sorry

[guysonroblox]

... :D ?

[mousegirlheart]

[mousegirlheart]

[adventures-in-mimesis]

this format is fucking horrifying

[mousegirlheart]

[shrewdbunny-art]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

a lot of stuff happened but i'm choosing to remember 2025 as the year i found out people with green eyes exist irl

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

couple things:

yes i spent my entire life until a few months ago assuming green eyes were an urban legend

"what about all the fictional characters with green eyes" thought it was a trope like with anime protagonists having naturally purple hair

i found out by watching Desperate Housewives (one of the actors has green eyes and it threw me off)

(i had never watched Desperate Housewives until that point bc i assumed it was reality tv, of the same genre as Real Housewives Of Metropolitan Areas franchise)

i still haven't seen green eyes irl, i am simply aware now that they actually exist

"have you really never met a person with green eyes." i didn't say that. it's possible I've met dozens. my autistic ass has spent decades elevating eye contact avoidance to a sublime art form.

[homunculus-argument]

 At first I thought the whole claim “Finland has no nudity taboo” was the same kind of utopia sensationalism as “Finland has no homework” and “Finland has no homeless people”, before I realised just how fucking weird people in some places are about people being naked.

 Like, obviously a grown man can’t just ride the bus buck-ass naked, but there are contexts where being naked is fine, and contexts where you’ll get arrested for it. In my home town there’s a fountain at the park where kids often play in the summer, and while most of them don’t run around naked, plenty of parents will change their kids under 5 from wet clothes to dry clothes right there on the park bench - if you have a problem with seeing a toddler naked, you’re the one who has a problem.

 I’ve seen all of my family members nude, dad used to cook while wearing nothing but an apron and wool socks (the floors were cold). If I was staying at mom’s house and was sitting in the kitchen completely naked while eating cereal, someone might ask me whether I’m just about to get into the shower or just got out - not in judgement, but the same way you’d ask someone who’s wearing a coat indoors whether they just got home, or were just about to leave. And the asker is most likely curious because she was just about to go to the shower.

 I don’t know if office workplaces do this anymore, but it used to be quite common for workplace bonding events (what the hell do you call those in english?) to involve going to the sauna together with your (same sex) co-workers. You’re free to opt out from this kind of thing if it’s not your thing, but you couldn’t just show up and then make it awkward for everyone. Having seen your boss naked doesn’t make things weird - and if you decide to make it weird, that’s a you-problem.

 Essentially, there’s two kinds of context in which a person can be nude: sexual or non-sexual, both of which are completely fine. Having a problem with somebody being naked means that you’re not sure which context this is in, which is the thing that makes it weird. If you can’t tell whether it’s sexual that you and your mother strip naked to wash the dog because it’s a two-person job and neither of you want to get your clothes wet or muddy, you are weird.

 90% of the time when someone who’s never been here announces “hey did you know that Finland has no ______”, my initial reaction is ‘what the fuck, of course we do’, before hearing exactly how backwards, unhelpful or straight-up inefficient some other peoples’ solutions have been to the same matter.

[cute-catts]

Cats logic 🤷🐱🐈

[catmask]

does a single vivziepop character leave the onceler BMI bracket or are they all build like garden shed tools

[jellyfishesarecooler]

none of these words are in the bible

[catmask]

oh yes they are

[roach-works]

speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.

the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.

you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.

[roach-works]

YOU GET IT

[crowshapedvoid]

[ID: tags from @/thepioden that say:

#you may think you - the writer - are your own most autistic critic #but somewhere out there is a motherfucker with the world's nichest PhD who has been waiting their whole life to prove you wrong

/end ID]

[transformativeworks]

[marius-vonraum]

Crushing news: shrinkflation so bad the funny number has decreased from 69 to 67

[abigail-rytel]

Honestly, I feel like I'm old and mature enough these days that I don't need to know what the kids' new funny number is supposed to mean. Hell, when I was a child, I wasn't well-read enough to understand why 42 was a funny number, and I just shrugged and moved on. And, as we all remember from our multiplication tables, 42 is just six se

[findingfeather]

Firstly, well played to OP, excellently pulled off.

Secondly, this is the thing that actually drives me crazy every time a new craze from the tweens comes around, right: one of the privileges of adulthood is that I do not have to care about these things.

I do not have to worry about being cool to tweens. I'm not a tween anymore. I can just google whatever it is, go "huh, that seems nonsensical", and then be subjected to a brief flashback to all the idiot boys in my grade six class pulling their shirt neck over their head and saying "I. AM. CORN. HOLIO." in a weird voice, and go on with my day.

Why are you people all getting upset about this shit. We've always done it. You did it. We did it. Everyone did it. It's all stupid. We're not tweens anymore and one of the privileges of that is not caring about that anymore, oh my god, are you really still that person at 40.

[brightlotusmoon]

[naamahdarling]

It fucks with them A Lot if you know what the meme is and make jokes about it. Don't know if they hate it more if the joke is accurate or poorly done though.

[thekijs]

That's because which is worse depends on the kid. Using the meme poorly is "having to watch someone do a thing you're good at, badly" level upsetting, but using the meme well is "confronted with evidence your parents enjoy sex" level upsetting, and those are both incredibly cringeworthy but who you are as a person determines which you think is worse.

[jame7t]

like why are mobile games allowed to lie about what they are in ads. wasn’t that illegal at one point

[sanitymakesposts]

nothing is illegal in the CYBER WORLD

[jame7t]

let me out of the fucking CYBER WORLD

[smoke-in-the-winds]

Actually, recent scholarship has cast doubt upon this. While it was once accepted that “the Beatles” were a single, coherent band, nowadays most historians agree they were more likely a loosely defined collection of musicians and writers with many internal disagreements between them. It was only in a much later period that the myth of a unified “Beatles” (perhaps alluding to the Egyptian solar deity Khepri, in reference to the hymn “Here Comes the Sun”) was invented through the syncretic efforts of writers associated with the Pauline, Johannine, and Georgian schools of thought. Ringo was later included in this cast as a familiar comedic figure, common in the folklore of the era. 

[birdturgular]

[anarchocuntboogaloo]

HE 👏 WENT 👏 LOOKING 👏 FOR 👏 TROUBLE 👏

[2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241]

The euros fail to consider the form: it’s not Johnny’s hubris that is the subject of the song. It’s the devil’s, who thinks his power is worth more than simple love for a craft

[aethersea]

neither americans nor the modern era have any sort of monopoly on one-upping the devil. one of the oldest european folk tales is The Smith and the Devil, in which a smith makes a deal with the devil for his soul and when the devil comes to collect, the smith tricks him into leaving him alone forever. tricking that bastard is an old and storied tradition.

[aethersea]

"average person who makes a deal with the devil is dragged to hell after 10 years" factoid actually just statistical error. average person who makes a deal with the devil uses their new hellish gifts to outwit the old bastard so they can keep both gifts and soul for the rest of their long and prosperous lives. faust, who bargained for knowledge of all things and then wasted his 10 years chasing a girl who wasn't all that into him, is an idiot and should not have become the cornerstone of modern understanding of the trope.

[feyosha]