[stabbydragon]

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified

It's a good shape!

[lavenderprose]

I like to imagine that, partially due to the Hockey Robot stereotyping and partially due to his watertight media training, commentators are constantly going on about "What's going on in Hollander's head? What was Hollander thinking there? Can't help but wonder what the Metros' Captain has on his mind right now." and it's like. Well statistically speaking. Cock.

[nohoperadio]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[mortimermcmirestinks]

OP I want you to know I think of this post every single time I have to wash a spoon.

[deanwinchesterapologist]

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

[teaboot]

A number you WANT to like, but can't quite get there?

42

[mobilis-in-mobili]

Mr Boot do you HONESTLY need a better reason than The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

[teaboot]

it's the genX 67

[teaboot]

EIGHT FUCKING MINUTES???

[vasira96]

my therapist said once "we get good at what we practice, so be careful what you practice" and tbh she was so right for that but also How Dare You??? open my eyes like that???

[amazoogle]

tuesday status?

[cognitohazardous]

yup. its tuesday 👍

[amazoogle]

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

[saprotrophix]

[irondive]

[baetology]

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts. Like they can literally see with no aid. Like they wake up and just be out here seeing. What a wild concept.

[bumblebeebats]

And people say stuff like ‘lol don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling’ like bitch (!!) i could have Nicholas II last czar of Russia hangin from my ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[seff-fromtheundergrowth]

hollanov soft launch where yuna posts a picture of ilya with the caption 'happy birthday to my favorite son' and the internet does NOT pick up on the soft launch of it all theyre just trying to figure out wtf shane did to piss his mom off so bad she (publicly!) picked his rival over him

[dumbpuppyfag]

"this situation cannot possibly be improved by me opening my stupid mouth" is perhaps the most important thought that it's possible to have

[dirbenaffleck]

i think the marvel vs dc conversation is bad because they're very different animals and i think its very obvious in how they approach the avengers and the justice league, even if you compare it between dceu and mcu, because at the end of the day superheroes in marvel seem to be allied with the governemtn regardless of their cause, like shield and avengers seem to be deeply connected in both fucntion and system because they're lead by a military guy and then the league in itself is funny because literally no one gets paid, they consider it volunteer work, that they operate outside of the planet so they would not be beholden to one state

[frownyalfred]

the Avengers: you don't understand, we HAVE to work with the government. to protect people.

the JL, in their satellite floating just outside of Earth's jurisdiction: lmao ok

[stormsthatrage]

Heated Rivalry AU where Ilya dips out early from a post-game party with Boston, and someone gets the idea to put on a Hollonov compilation as a joke.

The whole team settles in with rapt attention, ready to roast the shit out of Roz over it via group chat, only to see. Well. It's a series of interview clips over the years. It's made up exclusively of three things. One, clips of Hollander "stealing" linguistically challenging questions that the whole team knows Rozanov hates. Two, clips of Rozanov derailing questions that are about Hollander's "representation of his community," which gossip on the street says makes Hollander uncomfortable. Three, Hollander and Rozanov commenting individually on the rivalry, with vicious comments such as. "He's of course a great player, but he'll find us difficult to beat." Such fire in Rozanov's comments are especially damning, given his whole chirp-king-schtick. The video editor, with all the obsession and perception of a true fangirl, makes sure to circle every instance where you can see the shadow of Hollander and Rozanov pressing their feet together - and in one instance holding hands - beneath the interview table. (You wouldn't see it unless you're looking for it - or unless someone circles it in red for you.)

The video finishes, and the team sits in a kind of shocked silence as the next video auto-plays. This one is a compilation of Rozanov chirping Hollander on the ice. Here, the editor has helpfully drawn an arrow to Hollander's face whenever he blushes. The editor has also inserted text overlays with comments like. "Look at how fiercely Rozanov insults his rival." And then puts smaller arrows pointing to Roz's body language, with helpful texts like "excited wiggle indicating absolute fury," and "besotted grin indicating deep hatred." The sarcasm is distressingly accurate in its point.

(Listen, the whole team knows what Roz looks like when he's chirping someone. This - this is not it. This is not it at all. This is him when he's being silly with people he really likes. What is going on.)

The video finishes, and this time someone has the presence of mind to stop the auto-play before another mind-breaking thing comes up.

Someone else, trying to lighten the silence with a joke, and maybe dismiss it all as a fever dream, says, "Montreal Jane? More like Montreal Shane, am I right?"

And. Well.

Once it's out there, there's no coming back from it.

Cliff asks aloud, to no one in particular, "Are we just stupid?"

[military-newsboys]

Ilya: Shane has insanely strong opinions about everything. Go on, ask his opinion on something no one should have an opinion about. Wyatt: Hollzy, what's the worst multiple of 4? Shane: 56, obviously.

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[okthisway]

#the beauty of tumblr is that any new show i start i'm able to say oh that's my friend. from gif.

[letsboldlygomotherfuckers]

"not so gay you can't fuck rose landry" is such a funny line Ilya baby they dated for 45 minutes and Shane immediately came crawling back to you, came out as gay, and told you he has feelings for you. being too gay to fuck rose landry is quite literally the reason he realised/accepted he's in love with you and decided to lock that down