i think im funny
I LOVE THESE SO MUCH WTFF

Janaina Medeiros
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@abritishbank
i think im funny
I LOVE THESE SO MUCH WTFF
nothing sexier than a girl whos just a little out of it. asked the girl serving me at mcdonald’s 2day where the straws are and she said “straws? why would we have hay here” really sexy of her
this changed my life
I spent 10 minutes mentally preparing myself for this video and I still wasn’t ready.
16th grade
They actually bought all the fucking apple juice
ooh no they love orange juice but they been bad *swipes whole shelf*
“omg! a new history of-” siiiiighhh
theres a rape joke in the fucking new video more clear than the last you keep that fucking bullshit off my dash im not even joking right now i wont hesitate
white people trying to distract from the realities of africas suffering: “HGSJSDJ THE NEW :HISTORY OF” VIDEO HAS A RAPE JOKE. DONT WATCH IT”
yall literally went to africa and raped people. thats not a joke, its what yall did. shut up.
It was LITERALLY a rape of Africa- Europeans raped several cultures and countries. They went in, destroying culture dynamics, exterminated tribes, stole and raped and murdered and plundered and did everything disgusting and terrible.
I’m glad he called it for what it was. It wasn’t a fuckin joke m8.
This isn’t even him going out on a limb with his phrasing. This part of history is commonly, academically referred to as “the rape of Africa,” like “the rape of Nanking” or “the rape of Belgium.” That’s just…what it’s called.
he’s–making a reference to the academic concept. this isn’t your college buddy saying he got “totally raped” playing Halo last night, “the rape of Africa” is a phrase used in the explicit discussion of imperialist atrocities. a quick google will pull up everything from anti-colonialist art to books on King Leopold II’s crimes in the Congo; this information is literally at your fingertips, don’t start a witch hunt because you didn’t take the time to do a goddamn internet search.
I’m that mutual that is literally always online and every time you check ya dash you’re like damn does that girl not have a life and the answer is no
i still don’t understand how people thought rachel leaving an incredible job in paris to get back with a piece of wet bread was the best moment in television history
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
I know we all love Edna because she’s super fierce and determined and an awesome role model and shit but
do you ever think that she feels intensely guilty over this, having made this suit that lead to the death of this amazing young girl
Maybe there’s a reason she never looks back.
Repeated for emphasis:
Maybe there’s a reason she never looks back.
Edna at the funeral, veiled from head to toe, slowly ripping pages out of her pocket sketchbook and mouthing the words “no capes”
you people are monsters
What the actual fuck oh my god
Think about how appalled Edna must have been. How traumatized. How guilty she must have felt over the death of this young girl.
Then realize that Edna anticipated practically every threat that the Incredibles would run into from Syndrome and built help into their suits. The only logical conclusion is that he contacted her–possibly scores of times. Syndrome was a stalkery fanboy before he turned supervillain. And Edna is THE suit maker for supers, as well as Mr. Incredible. Of course Syndrome would go to her. Edna is the best, and Syndrome would want the best designer for his costume.
Think about all that. Think about the woman who was so horrified and grief-stricken by Stratogate’s death being asked by a supervillain–one who was a genuine threat to supers she cared about–to design his costume.
And then realize that, despite her horror and guilt and rage at the gruesome deaths of Stratogate and other supers, despite her vehement conviction that such deaths should never happen again…
…she gave Syndrome a cape.
YOOOOOOO WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKK
Edna is sitting perfectly still, a statue. Quite literally, the boy may not have an ounce of powers, but he can build an immobilizer ray, it’s quite impressive actually. Once she would have offered him a card, fashion is not limited to the ‘good’ or the ‘evil’, it is pure, open, neutral.
But that was before the Ban.
Now, now she knows he dances with fire, too foolish to wear flame retardant cloth. He wants what he can never have. What even the great Edna Mode cannot give him. And she knows he will hurt her friends to get it. There are precious few supers now who still talk to her, but she counts every one she ever dressed a friend, no matter how estranged. The closest resemble family.
And the boy will hurt them, with her help or without it.
That does not mean Edna is without power here, she has been kidnapped before, of course. Some of the most traditionalist villains will arrange meetings no other way, it offends their sensibilities. She can respect that, fashion is about sensibilities. The subtle game of prisoner and captor is actually fun when she plays with a good partner. The boy is not a good partner, he takes the game too seriously, and all she needs to do is acquiesce with her normal levels of snide dismissal.
It’s almost too easy to ask him for design input.
He shows her countless drawings, some the obviously deliberate hand of a child, devoted to a craft he had not mastered, some the mad scribbling of a spoiled man. The colors document his changes, how he darkened them, how the hues became stark and bold tipped into offensive, aggressive. It is a study in the fall into madness done in carefully chosen fabric swatches and angular fashion plates.
Her hand stutters over the one at the bottom of the stack, the newest.
“Do you like that one? I put a lot of thought into it. I wanted to use the je ne sais quoi of the greats. The classic jumpsuit design I pulled from Mr Incredible, my idol as a child, you know. And you can’t go wrong with a domino mask, even if some say it’s too simple to hide the identity.” He smiles, guileless child with no idea, no idea at all what he’s going to push her to. He had dropped the one name, the one family, that Edna would move mountains to protect. She was going to kill the boy, as she had others, and he would say thank you as he took his poison.
“Nice cape,” she says. “Little short though. Stratogale’s went to the ground.”
Some people say not all heroes wear capes when they discuss the actions of non-supers. If Edna Mode has any say, and she has substantial say, no hero (super or not) will ever wear a cape again. He shouldn’t have chosen this path, because she will make him a cape, and he will die. He is a villain, and not under the protection of her vow to give no cape to an innocent again. She will make the suits for the ones who go to defeat him, and they will live. She will take note of all his strengths and stack the deck. Edna Mode will play god, decide who lives and who dies and how the history is recorded. She knows this, and she knows who and what she is. She accepts it.
Later she makes a new funeral outfit for herself.
It’s elegant and chic and will remind the world of her name. The fall of the fabric will draw eyes to her, and the sweep of the veil will make men kneel in support. It has neat tucks and a demure silhouette. It has every aspect of good fashion, from the slight cinch of the waist to the beads at the hem and neck. It has specially designed outerwear that drapes dramatically over her arms as she bows her head respectfully by the memorial to the ones who died in Syndrome’s attack.
It has a cape.
You know that soulmate AU trope where the first thing your soulmate(s) says to you is some how magically engraved on your wrist? Why are those stories set in worlds that are otherwise socially normal?
I mean really. If everything was exactly the same except for this trope think of how many people would have hello written on their wrist. Think of how many people would meet the wrong person but hit it off anyway and think well this must be my soulmate(s) because we get along more or less. Think of how many people would get married and have a life and a dog and like start up some kind of artisanal meat market or something and then find out that they married the “wrong” person. Like, people wouldn’t be signing prenups, this is your soulmate it should last forever. So now you’re stuck in this crazy legal battle with your fake soulmate while your real soulmate is like trying to fend off people who also have hello on their wrist and think they’re making the wrong choice. Divorce lawyers would probably make it big in this hypothetical world.
But. I don’t think the above is actually all that likely when you consider that this would be a world where everyone knows that the first thing you say to your soulmate(s) is on your wrist. I think a whole world of this trope would basically teach people that you don’t say hello to strangers.
Instead you blurt out something very original. Last thursday I ate a live worm! I own a collection of glass eyes! I’m secretly a super villain and this is my android body! You know. Distinctive. Something that isn’t likely to be ambiguous.
Think of the possibilities. Think of a society that celebrates truly unique first words. People could see someone and spend hours agonizing over what ridiculous thing they want their first words to be. An unusual metaphor for your undying love? A declaration about how much you like snails? A compliment no one could have ever possibly said to them before? Your nose is a glorious rendition of the Summer Triangle.
Kids would grow up being encouraged to say outlandish things. You wouldn’t be told to stop saying silly things. You would be told to make sure not to copy the silly things your friend said. Think of how careful parents would be about introducing very young children to new people. Kids that are too young might meet their soulmate and not realize it. They could miss their one chance because they were too busy fighting over a little mermaid eraser.
What about people who can’t read? What about people who are blind?
You wouldn’t say sorry if you bumped into someone on the street. You’d either stay silent or shout something oddball out first, I shove lilacs up my nose. and only then do you say sorry.
Imagine “speed meets”. Groups that organize meetups between complete strangers. You’re in a room with a hundred other people. Line up and start saying outrageous things. I am actually a hippopotamus. No? Okay next. I wish to own seven hundred thirty one and a half dalmatian mice. No? Alright. Next. One day I will travel to Europa in the fanciest of hats. And then the other person grins, Well captain it’s not naked if you’re wearing a hat. And damn they have been waiting years to say that line.
#i love this and i feel like it was written by wade w wilson via shehulkcankickmyassanytime
I think this is the best response this post has ever had.
What You Say About Mental Illness vs What You Actually Mean.
imagine a rosario vampire kind of setting, where a human winds up at a monster school. except the monsters all know they’re a human. maybe they’re part of a new “monster/human friendly relations” project. everyone is pretty cautious about causing an incident, so they’re treading lightly around the human. but the human doesn’t even bat an eye at the strange stuff that goes on, so the monster kids gradually become more relaxed around them.
here’s the thing. the human doesn’t actually realize they’re at a monster school. they’re basically the living embodiment of “staying in their lane”. they see strange monster things happening and they’re like “huh. well that’s none of my business” and just go about their day
so the monsters think the human knows what’s up and doesn’t care. the human thinks they’re at a weird but ultimately normal human school. then the human sees something so explicit that they can’t help but connect the dots, like a werewolf transforming right in front of them. the human screams, the werewolf yelps, everyone else starts screaming too. there’s lots of confusion all around.
eventually they all figure out what happened. then the human’s friends start quizzing them on how the hell they never noticed.
“the werewolves literally walk around with their ears and tails out.” “I thought they were just furries okay?!”
“but the vampires drink blood at lunch! only blood! they don’t eat!” “listen, even goths can be insecure about their weight. it’s not my business if they want to go on a weird tomato juice diet.” “I guess that explains why you hugged Travis and told him he was beautiful the way he is that one time.”
“there are fairies in our math class. they have wings.” “*shrug* theater kids are weird.”
“Ynolk'ku is the offspring of an eldritch abomination. the whispers of the dead follow xem wherever xe go. are you saying you never heard that?” “I figured it was just really loud creepy music playing from xer headphones.”
“centaurs. harpies. nagas.” “okay I know I already said furries, but really committed furries.”
“Cindy is a sasquatch and she’s covered in fur.” “who am I to tell a girl to shave?”
“the dryads wear clothes made out of living plants.” “aesthetic or death.”
on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.
you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five. the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.
and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.
you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.
maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -
“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”
Couples receive “parent points”, which they can use to purchase their children. Most parents wait for a few thousand, but you chose to buy the cheaper, 100 point child.
Shane knows what it’s like to be a 100 point child. He knows how it feels to see potential parents–potential families–come through the facilities doors, faces bright with excitement. He knows how it feels to see them reading the little plaques on the nursery doors, scanning the lists there for the right bits of knowledge and etiquette and grace that they want their baby to have.
He knows how it feels to see their faces pinch outside the window before they hurry to the next room.
Shane grew up in a 100 point nursery. They had torn, ratty, books and no teachers, and when snack time came, the tray was pushed through a slat in the door. They were called “unruly” and “damaged” and “stupid.” A lot of the other kids threw tantrums and broke furniture (and sometimes other kids). A lot of the other kids went quiet after the first few years when they realized they’d never be adopted until they were old enough (or pretty enough) to be useful. A lot of the kids cried and didn’t stop until they got taken away or were aged out.
Shane’s grown up a lot since aging out. He put himself through school, got himself a job, shed his 100 points like the torn clothes he’d left the facility in. He’s powerful now, successful, and he’s grown out of the twisted nose, big ears, and gap-toothed smile that had made him one of the less attractive 100 point babies. Or maybe he’s grown into them. Who’s to say?
It’s taken him a long time to get enough Parent Points to do what he wants. Being a man is, for once, somewhat hindering as most of society equates “parental” with “maternal.” He’s lost count of how many social workers have politely hid expressions of surprise when he told them he wanted to adopt stag, that he’s willing to take the classes, get the grades, make the oaths to get even one Parent Point.
Keep reading
How people treat sexual orientation, as explained with furniture.
Heterosexuality is a couch. Nobody even bats an eye if you keep it in the living room for everyone to see–it’s simply expected. I mean, where the hell else would you keep it? Hidden in a bedroom? No, that would be weird.
Homosexuality is a bed. Having a bed in a public room is considered weird and gross–you’re expected to keep it in private bedroom you close the door to before anyone else comes over. Because even though there are a million and one things someone can do sitting on a bed that aren’t sexual (and plenty of ways to have sex on a couch), the first and foremost thing anyone associates beds with is sex.
Bisexuality is a Western-style futon. Sometimes it functions like a couch, sometimes it functions like a bed, but whichever position it’s in at the moment, it’s still a goddamn futon. People who want to use it as a couch give you shit for not having a real couch; people who want to use it as a bed give you shit for not having a real bed. It’s acceptable in your living room, but only if you make extra certain to put it in couch position and hide the sheets before company comes over. Otherwise, you’d better hide it in a guest room.
Asexuality is a table. No matter how many times you tell people it’s not meant to be sat on, dickheads with no manners will try to park their nasty asses on it anyway.
why do so many “icarus and the sun” artworks and stories portray the sun as a woman? do y’all know who controlled the sun? apollo. icarus is gay as fuck, y’all.
Sometimes it was helios, not Apollo. Icarus was still gay as fuck
“Icarus we just escaped prison don’t ruin it by flying too close to the sun”
[Icarus already fucking launching himself across the sky for the sake of some godly dick]
woops
how the actual fuck does someone not reblog this
this just demolishes every negative opinion towards homosexuality ever
this is my new favorite picture omg