Automatically in the Zone

Legally, I am not AutoZone

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

Well howdy everyone, my name is AutoZone.

I’m here to help with any issues, from as big as a car crash, to just helpin’ ya find the brake fluid.

I’m also legally a divorce lawyer. So if anythin’ comes up with that, you know who ta’ call.

——————

heyo, just here to put the basics about me

My name is The.Micro.

I go by any pronouns

I’m just here to have fun!

also don’t expect any mechanical advice to be 100% accurate, as I AM NOT A MECHANIC

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

comforting fact of the day!

The birds are, in fact, government spy cameras. I would know, I am the maintenance hub for when they break.

[slavery]

[macbethz]

Fuck I’m at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and I’m probably going to win a medal.

[seananmcguire]

BURN BAGEL BURN

[gothiccharmschool]

OH WHY NOT?

[harukami]

I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.

Bagel what are your powers

[acabosetotal]

FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterday’s night “just for fun and because I don’t want any bagel to be mad with me”, and today’s afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.

THE BAGEL POWERS ARE WAY TOO MUCH FOR THIS WORLD

[token-white-friend]

I GOT A JOB THE DAY AFTER MY QUEUE POSTED THIS THE FIRST TIME AND I JUST REALIZED IT WHEN I SAW IT AGAIN HOLY GOD

[noodle-dragon]

The bagel hasn’t let me down yet!

[blackcatgodess]

I got a job offer after reblogging the bagel. Believe in the bagel!

[anayely420]

🙏🏼

[sonsfantasies]

Worth a try lol

[theblizzardsix]

i could use some good news or even a good girl 

[pantspooplover]

Go lil bagle! Show me your power!

[itaachiyama-moved]

Okii then!

[blastlight]

THIS IS THE FIRST THING ON MY BLOG

I GOT ASKED OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER I REBLOGGED IT

[decadentstrangernacho]

Ugh I hate superstitions… … not that it stops me, of course

[thesunlightvoid]

Where’s the good news🤔🤔

edit: did I hear someone say wake up and then I woke up to no one in my room, it legit sounded like they whispered something in my ear as close as possible and all they said was “wake up” my sibling said it might of been our dead grandparent (this happened on that dead grandparents birthday)

[sillyosclover]

hmmm

EDIT: MY BROTHER GOT A GIRLFRIEND HE JUST TEXTED ME BECAUSE I WENT TO TEXT HIM TO SAY HI AFTER REBLOGGING THIS AND (SNIFF SNIFF) UWUUGH AISKKAKASK 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 congrats brother welcome to the world of relationship

EDIT 2: his girlfriend is coming over for thanksgiving he just told me🥺

EDIT 3: the girlfriend thing was def a coincidence because something bad just happened I ran over a squirrel I hate this bagel I’m gonna go bury the goddamn squirrel 😭

[smoken-bagel-deactivated2024022]

Uh….well im already a mess so burn my kind ig

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

YO Y O YOOO

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

I'd like to meet the men who made the airplane.

Maybe also the man who made those sweet animatronics... was it William Afting?

Getting those two in a room would be quite the high bar to hit.

[speedway-official-unofficial]

Howdy There Speedway.

I just emerged from my cocoon all bug-like, and I was wondering if you had a bit of motor oil on hand?

I’ll be outta your hair if I can just get a quick drink…

-@absolutely-authentic-autozone

Oh..yes…. Liquids to put inside vehicles is my specialty… heh… Although… all my liquids come at a price… empty your pockets. Now.

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

Huh. that sure is some unique wording there pal.

but uh... here ya go

[ACQUIRED!]

[X1 Window cleaner

X10 GOO (yuck... probably from the cocoon..)

X1 set of summer tires

X2 set of winter tires

X6 Heavyweight screws]

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

eeeyuck…

while I’m sheddin’ this fabulous cocoon dress I happen to be wearin, mind tellin me where the hell I am?

and can I please get some oil?

[nkogneatho]

the last character in your gallery is your defense lawyer in court. how fucked are you?

i am winning the case cuz they gaslight & manipulate everyone

minimum sentence cuz they're good at arguing

i am getting a life sentence w/o parole

we both in jail now cuz they decided to physically fight the judge

Voting ended onApr 22, 2024

[shakespeare-official-account-de]

Well, fuck.

[india-official]

Ig Mr Darcy would be a pretty good defence lawyer

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

That’s a difficult choice…. Donatello (rise vers.) and Peter Griffin.

I feel like im going to jail for more than I was originally but like

[portaltworemade-deactivated2021]

[gets in my little clown car]

[rickylafleurs]

[gets in with you]

[octocore]

[gets in with you]

[ribbonflies]

[gets in with you]

[sbobhouse-deactivated20241229]

[gets in with you]

[sarahlyons]

[gets in with you]

[applesauc-y]

[gets in with you]

[stepperbox]

[gets in with you]

[thatskeletonbitch]

[gets in with you]

[i-am-an-idiot]

[gets in with you]

[im-a-dragon-cawcaw]

[gets in with you]

[dressingasolinemoved-deactivate]

[gets in with you]

[mobilesackofpotatoes-deactivate]

[Gets in with you]

[queerblackcloud-deactivated2022]

[gets in with you]

[pinkbiscuits-perks-and-curses]

[gets in with you]

[the-village-dunce]

[gets in with you]

[lucifers-golden-bitch-apparently]

[gets in with you]

[aniridescentdreamer]

[gets in with you]

[theprettylittlewinchesterdiaries]

[gets in with you]

[hearteyes-wheeler]

[gets in with you]

[silly-witch-knight-deactivated2]

[gets in with you]

[heatofsuccess]

[gets in with you]

[whocouldibe-nobodyknowwwws]

[gets in with you]

[sefrem]

[gets in with you]

[weird-color]

[gets in with you]

[rabbit-ig-deactivated20210517]

[gets in with you]

[no-one-of-any-importance]

[gets in with you]

[ask-shrignold-and-the-townsfolk]

[gets in with you]

[nightkit92]

[gets in with you]

[micah-pl]

[gets in with you]

[endtr0ducin]

[gets in with you]

[ratgingi]

[gets in with you]

[d0ttiezz-x3]

[gets in with you]

[milkpluzhie]

[getz in with you]

[fawnfacilify-deactivated2026030]

[gets in with you]

[abandonedaquarium-deactivated20]

[gets in with you]

[drearyymoth]

[gets in with you]

[numbur1goobah]

[gets in with you]

[graveyard-cowboy]

[gets in with you]

[altarralomon]

[gets in with you]

[vivisection1013]

[gets in with you]

[be-gentle-with-littluns]

[gets in with you]

[aroace-wizard]

[gets in with you]

[adorbsies-deactivated20240326]

[gets in with you]

[weirdcore-catbxy]

[gets in with you]

[sirenium]

[gets in with you]

[404shcats]

[gets in with you]

[artistic-scribbles-deactivated2]

[gets in with you]

[d3ad-on-arriva1]

[gets in with you]

[themrkite-deactivated20250127]

[gets in with you]

[brelliefreak-deactivated2025060]

[gets in with you]

[willowthegremlin]

[gets in with you]

[buryme--inblack-deactivated2025]

[gets in with you]

[thehealingsystem-deactivated202]

[gets in with you]

[terminaxshowtime]

[gets in with you]

[poisoned-sugar11]

[gets in with you]

[2-kamikou-1]

[gets in with you]

[rose022]

[gets in with you]

[zephyrine-tale-archived-deactiv]

[gets in with you]

[unholyhound-00]

[gets in with you]

[believeinavocado]

[gets in with you]

[possibly-emu]

[gets in with you]

[yesterdayorcenturiesbefore-deac]

[gets in with you]

[warwithoutreason]

[gets in with you]

[stranglingfigs]

[gets in with you]

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

[gets in with you]

[gracewight]

[gets in with you]

[da-silliest-snek]

[gets in with you]

[magoshighlandsroar]

[gets in with you]

[leg-stealing-bee]

[gets in with you]

[electriscera]

[gets in with you]

[paradichlorosocksy]

[gets in with you]

[spilledmilkii-deactivated202606]

[gets in with you]

[thesaucemanstrikesback]

[gets in with you]

[mossy-corpse]

[gets in with you]

[goblinfables]

[gets in with you]

[oddogoblino]

[gets in with you]

[deadbloodzero]

[gets in with you]

[c0smicl0wn]

[gets in with you]

[starays13]

[gets in with you]

[theriverstyxx]

[gets in with you]

[ranch-dressing-flavored-frog]

[gets in with you]

[realityblind]

[gets in with you]

[putting-pomni-in-places]

[gets in with you]

[putting-thebroker-in-places]

[gets in with you]

[stardusts-supervoid]

[gets in with you]

[gardensnakie]

[gets in with you]

[dazed-moth-deactivated20250324]

[gets in with you]

[peckforlovingheck]

[gets in with you]

[pocket-sized-nightmare]

[gets in with you]

[vinnybox]

[gets in with you]

[drawotion]

[gets in with you]

[vwildmonk]

[gets in with you]

[ssolvix]

[gets in with you]

[sotoro-ma]

[gets in with you]

[artist-of-obsessions]

[gets in with you]

[modmad]

[gets in with you]

[blueartistic813]

[gets in with you]

[lilybug-02]

[gets in with you]

[chatter-crow]

[gets in with you]

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

[gets in with you]

[mascingtape-deactivated20230626]

[were--ralph]

gay wario

[madeline-the-bisexual-samurai]

bi, metal mario/mii

[totally-dollar-tree]

ace, link

[google-news-official]

aromantic, baby peach

[official-toys-r-us]

pan, princess peach/green inkling girl

[literally-hottopic]

Ace/lesbian, and either princess peach, Rosalina, or yoshi

[absolutely-authentic-autozone]

Pan, and either Dry Bones or Bowser Jr.