The heart of social anxiety |"I love splatoon but its not batman" - @kafkaguy 3rd of September 2022| Kat | any and all pronouns except she/her | | lesbian | Eng/Greek |
Salutations to anyone unlucky enough to stumble upon this blog and welcome, sit down, relax and help yourself to a cup of tea :]
Roleplay isn't allowed here, what you may see is old reblogs when it was allowed
This is mainly just an old blog that I may or may not rebrand, I'll see but for now it's just gonna be mainly reblogs of Markiplier and so art.
I sometimes struggle to understand tones or cues which can result in me crossing a line. In the case I do, do not be afraid to message me or send an ask, I do not bite :].
Asks are welcome for whatever, in general questions, philosophical queries, random bullshit or even art requests (please ask me, my hand gets bored sometimes).
Now, unto the directory for tags;
"Speaking speaking how much have I not missed you" is for reblog of threads, or when mentioned/having a conversation in general.
"answering answering something I should not be allowed to do" for asks
"something for my obituary" is for personal or in general posts by me like this one
"art thou something something" is for my art
"there it is, my good ol' folks" for anything that has to do with mutuals, friends, acquaintances yada yada.
Now that all has been explained, please step in this mess with caution and most importantly:
Thinking about her and this stupid fucking t shirt and how this single t shirt throws any of my outfit designs out the window if he's willing to wear modern shit
Also you better ignore how they look different in every single drawing I do of them, I blame it on them for being two different people
Believe me, darling, the stars were made for falling
Like melting obelisks as tall as another realm
I'M FINALLY IN SUMMER!!! I HAVE FREE TIME AGAIN!!! I CAN DRAAAAAWWWW-
And as a treat for surviving that 24/7 Hell, I decided to kick off the Summer with doing a redraw of a piece I did back in 2023!
I actually did post this back then (which can be found HERE if you're curious), reason being was when both Iron Lung AND Edge of Sleep was announced to be in production, so I decided to do a lil crossover of it! ....and by GOD is it horribly inaccurate now! :D
Course it'd be that way tho, back then we didn't have ANY shots from TEOS released yet (not like Amazon wanted to promote it anyway ) and i'm pretty sure this was just when we had the title reveal for Iron Lung and that ONE ☝️ BTS shot, thus what I based the Convict's design on, and for Dave I just went off of the general design everyone used :']
But HEY! Figured that now BOTH shows/movie is out ans we got actual designs, it'd be fun to redraw it to make it more canon accurate! And y'know just in general improve the piece as a whole cause o u g h it's clear i didn't know what the Hell i was doing rendering wise-
I'm really damn happy with the redraw tho!! Felt good to draw more of Simon AND Dave (which i haven't done too often huh), was fun to give them better lighting cause ough, and even just adding better effects, like their eyes! Gotta stay on brand and do some freaky eye shit whenever I can 😎
But yeah, with that said i'm gonna be working on SO much shit this Summer, but least now it's gonna be stuff I actually wanna work on!! Hopefully gonna try and do more with B again, so...keep an eye out for that 👀👀
I told you I had another idea for Mermay with creature Simon...didn't say it was a good one-
Think we're all sleeping on the opportunities we have with having Mark being in a fucking bathtub during some of the making of Iron Lung, fill that tub up with blood POST HASTE 🗣🗣🗣
So...if anyone does make more of this PLEASE send it to me i'd love to see it 👀👀
self-reflection, introspection, contemplation, withdrawal, solitude, search for self
REVERSED
loneliness, isolation, recluse, being anti-social, rejection, returning to society
"But all that card business is just hokey...right?"
DID SOMEONE ORDER A GOOD OL' CASE OF TAROT CARD SYMBOLISM?? >:]
Got the idea to do this piece cause 1. This is based on the detail that in B's Noir outfit he has a tarot card in his hat rather then the classic playing card or something, which.....I absolutely stole from a friend of mine whose Noir inspired character has the exact same thing but shhhh- But uh- when doing research in finding a suitable card I settled on "The Hermit", and thought the pose/key aspects would be fun to replicate like i've seen other people do, so decided to give it a shot! And 2. ...I try to do at least one fully rendered piece every month, that way at the end of the year i'd have a good spread of my progress, and buddy i was running out of time to think of anything else, so I settled on the sketch I did a while ago (which can be seen HERE in this doodle dump i did), and here we are X'D
And....okay not gonna lie when I started this it was a bit of a struggle, mainly due to work and school dragging my ass away from working on it, but one dat I had 2 hours in between classes with no work due, and I locked in like never before-
But really i'm pretty happy with this!! Composition was real fun to do, actually was a last minute idea to add some blur/focal lenses to some of the glass shards, and glad I did! Also felt like my rendering's been getting a lil better, fun using certain colors to help out (and in this case b l u e), was fun to use all the g l o w from the crystal, and overall was a great excuse to use more of my guy >:] .....wait is this my first actual rendered piece with B on here-? 🧍♂️
Anyhoo, onto the actual symbolism, I felt "The Hermit" fit B really well, what with his default being secluded in a van most of the time, and trying to figure out who he is when so much of himself from before WKM was erased (like his fucking name) and being difficult to keep track of all the variations he's put through. Plus when I saw the main staple OF The Hermit card being having a lantern, or just any light source of some kind (representing searching for wisdom in ones self ohoho), I immediately thought of the Warp Crystal being that source of light, and that idea was too cool for me to n o t at least sketch it X'D
This also reminded me that i really wanna learn how to read Tarot cards!! Seems just real fun to do, plus would be really interesting to understand all the meanings and interpretations, would be great to work that more into some pieces, but for now just learning bout one tarot card is a good start I think! :'D
Overall real happy I was able to get this done in time, back i go to school hell (one more month till summer i am counting the fucking d a y s), really looking forward to drawing more if I can cause fuuuuuuck I have ideaaaas BUT THE ESSAAAAYS-
Also have boarderless and og sketch ver down below cause e h -
Wilford "MOTHERLOVING" Warfstache as a Queer Allegory (an analysis)
I've been thinking a lot recently about how WMLW is like, the perfect allegory for being closeted, and have mentioned that take on a few different accs....by now I've had a few people asking me to elaborate. So I'm deciding to do just that! ( @chipadip specifically asked for a tag, so here you go!)
BEFORE WE BEGIN I WANT TO PREFACE: I AM IN NO WAY CLAIMING THIS IS MARKIPLIER'S INTENT. It is so definitely not. It is just how I enjoy reading the story. You could totally take it as a metaphor for just about anything, or you could take it totally at face value!! This is mostly just word vomit to be honest, I just wanted to get this off my chest o7 Thanks in advance for humoring me!
Abe and William's Initial Approach to Sexuality (and their mutual themes of repression)
Right off the bat, we're gonna need to talk about their backstory-- Who Killed Markiplier. Seeing them for who they were originally is gonna be important to unpacking how they interact in the future.
Abe's queerness is the subject of jokes from the moment he gets a major part in the story. And that's kind of all it is-- jokes. Pretty much every time Abe is on screen, he fumbles with his words and says something that sounds incredibly gay. Or, does something that's undoubtedly supposed to read as gay, and often "creepy". I'm giving a lot of these mildly offensive ones a little bit of a pass here, because they're clearly just supposed to be funny, and not taken too seriously. You could probably say the same for the ones in the future, but with the overall subject matter and general tonal shift that comes later, I'm more and more lead to believe that there's supposed to be some truth in them. At the beginning, you could probably make an argument for either direction of Abe's sexuality (either he is gay and these are all Freudian slips, or he's straight and that's the joke) but there are some that I don't think can be explained away as just verbal slips. Like how he calls just about every man in the house handsome/beautiful/gorgeous at some point, or how he constantly fondly refers to his old "partners". The more it happens, the less his verbal slips seem like mistakes, and the more they seem like his backpedaling is out of shame. Which would fit for the 20's-era time period.
On the other hand, we have the Colonel, who I would say represents repression in his own unique (but similar) way. Knowing who he is recontextualizes a lot of the imagery associated with him in WKM. One of my personal favorite details showing that being his costuming. He's dressed in all beige for most of the run time. Colorless, dull-- much like the detective. The single piece of color visible on his outfit most of the time is the bright red scarf thing around his neck. Bright red being, interestingly, the color most closely associated with Celine, his secret lover. A detail that her design parallels, in the form of a tiny pink flower on her hat. Pink flowers, as seen in Damien, are used to represent Will, and that touch of pink is the only color visible on her design.
Color is used a lot in the Markiplier Cinematic Universe, both to represent characters, and to represent a change in perspective. Which is why I think it's so interesting that, throughout WKM, these two are dressed in such similar, dull shades. A choice that only makes Will's next appearance more jarring, which brings me to my next point:
William's Acceptance of his Identity (and Abe's avoidance of his own)
The next time we see them, chronologically speaking, is in Wilford Motherloving Warfstache. In here, we get the most literal representation of stagnation vs growth yet, in the form of the way color is used throughout the film. When Abe is alone, everything is black and white, as to imitate the noir aesthetic. But when Will is around, we see the very opposite; bright color fills the screen, and only dims when Abe enters, and dims it himself.
Abe has not changed much at all from his last appearance. He's still dressed monochromatically, and he's still pouring his life into his work. His work that is, at the moment, entirely focused on William. I'm not gonna say "it's gay to be this obsessed with another man" even though it definitely is. Instead I'm more interested in the way he views him through the lens of what he's doing. If you look at his notes (which I have because I'm crazy) they spend a lot of time focusing on how he feels about the Colonel in particular. Of course, there's an argument to be made for some of it-- a lot of his notes, especially in WKM, are clearly investigating his affair with Celine, so that explains away things like the notes saying he "isn't marriage material", and the "call me" note with a lipstick kiss and a phone number. But some one of it just seems so suspiciously centered around Will's effect on him. Literally one of the things written on the chalkboard under "evidence" in WMLW is "MY FEELINGS". What did he mean by this
On the other hand, William has changed a lot since they've last been face-to-face. He's taken on an entire new alias, not to mention an entire new wardrobe. Abe comments, at the beginning of WMLW, that William was always eccentric, but that this takes the cake. Will has completely taken off the mask he was wearing in WKM. The people who knew him well knew he was "abnormal", but he kept it bottled up. Wilford Warfstache does no such thing. He's found a rich, colorful community, and is being authentic to no one but himself. He's bright, and happy, happier than he ever looked in WKM. Of course that can be in part due to the dreary tone of WKM in general, but this level of pep is completely new for him. And, deeper in the story, he expresses that it's because he sees himself as "free". He doesn't understand anything anymore, and he doesn't try to. There's no sense in trying to hunt for answers, because the only person he needs to understand is himself, and he knows exactly who he wants to be. He holds no grudges-- despite literally shooting Abe last time he saw him, he greets him fondly here the moment he recognizes him, even going as far as to apologize and give him a hug. I think there's this undeniable theme of acceptance here, with how easy he rolls with every punch thrown at him. Meanwhile, Abe isn't taking things nearly as in stride.
One of the best scenes that illustrates this dichotomy is the scene in the car. Abe has a noir-style internal monologue, and Wilford continuously, telepathically interrupts him. This, to me, reads as a very concise metaphor to demonstrate one of Abe's deepest fears-- the fear of being known truly, and intimately. Wilford being able to read him to the point of literally reading his mind terrifies him, because he views his own mind as the place to hide everything he can't externalize. A lot of his noir-style monologuing is casually recounting trauma, which is typical of the genre, but we also get more very gay Freudian slips in here (which he doesn't feel the need to backpedal on, because, usually, no one can hear them). Like: "We're gonna play pin the tail on the donkey, but he's the donkey, and the tail is my feelings." This whole scene is a metaphor for Wilford's "gaydar" to me, basically. Especially with the very blatant "I only get one night with him to fill the hole in my heart he left behind." "...Did we date at some point?" "No, we didn't date!".
I think there is some pretty obvious attraction to Will in Abe's mind, and he is simply refusing to admit it for obvious reasons. Not just the internalized homophobia, though there is definitely a lot of that, but also the fact that Will is such a dangerous and unstable person. He can't bring himself to confess, even in his own mind, that he may be interested in him for a reason that isn't just calculated, professional investigation. Which is why it's so distressing to him, when he finally realizes that all that repression was for nothing.
Acceptance
At the end of WMLW, we of course get the reveal that all of Abe's working was for nothing. He's no closer or farther to the end of the case than he was when he began, because he died in that manor, and all of his lives' work amounts to absolutely nothing. He devoted his entire sense of self to a cause that he was never going to figure out, because it's an impossible, self-defeating cause. And though he has no physical proof of his exploits, he has the feelings, and he's been ignoring those for the sake of the job. Hence why feelings was one of the only things on the evidence board-- it's literally all he has.
He sits down here, at the chair that he'd tied Wilford in before, representing the shift in power between them. He could never keep Will down, anyway; the only time Wilford was seated was when he was voluntarily choosing to. But now Abe is the one taking that seat, and Wilford is the one who stands before him, but he doesn't use this chance to interrogate him. He comforts him. He tells him he isn't crazy, and as the color around Abe drains, and he sinks back into his noir internal monologue, Will touches his face, and brings the color back. One of my favorite lines here, during the internal monologue, Abe thinks "My heart was pounding morse code in my ears, but I never learned the language" which to me just reads as a beautifully concise metaphor for him never listening to his heart, and instead trying to logically explain everything away. Something that Wilford discourages, as he gets down on his level, and tells him that some things just can't be rationalized out of existence. And what's the point in trying? His gentleness here is almost out of character here as he encourages him to try allowing himself to be himself, for the first time. Specifically, he says that, just for tonight, he should try having a little fun. And as he says it, they appear back in the club they met in earlier that night, surrounded by people and music and color.
And Abe accepts. And as he accepts, the saturation turns up even higher. Wilford wasn't the one who brought that last bit of color back, Abe was. Because he had been the one dulling his own color all along. This is the kind of metaphor you see in a cheesy queer animated short film and i LOVE IT!!!!
I just love the way Wilford talks to him so much-- specifically in assuring him that, if he wants, he can go right back to how things were before this. He's being a little presumptuous in assuming Abe would want to let loose in this way in the first place, so he's giving him the choice to back out right now if he wants. And even if he does go through with it, and ends up enjoying himself, nothing has to change. Wilford is only saying that he may be a happier person if he learns to accept certain things, including things about himself. If you want a slightly more far-fetched interpretation of events here, I think the "dancing" is honestly a fantastic metaphor for sleeping together. Like, the club Will is dancing in has always read as a gay bar to me and like???? IDK just hear me out. Spending all night with another man after your quest for self acceptance, "dancing".....ok. Im not super willing to die on this hill i just think it's a beautiful hypothetical metaphor
TLDR: I love the visuals of their differing interpretations of "freedom" that the manor/death gave them. Abe burying himself in his work, literally draining the color from his life. With the dichotomy of Wilford, who's more "himself" than he ever was, being the one to bring that color back to him and teach him that it's okay to be who he is. Idk im crazy
There's probably more I'm missing here but I'll wrap it up for now. If you made it this far then thank you for reading my wild markiplier analysis!!!
Realized I haven't drawn B's and Actor's dynamic so had to change that by drawing the rat bastard >:]
But ye these were just fun lil doodles to fill time/draw Actor since it had been a minute, so was real fun drawing him being bratty/unhinged, perfect combo :]
Gonna go a bit more into their dynamic/lore, so rambles below if ya wanna see it
Actor was waiting for B to escape the mirror, knowing he'd be this most vulnerable after an experience like that and offers his (in mind) much better life of "working" with him to be his viewer...only thing is that while in the mirror B also saw the events of WMW and DAMIEN, so immediately hates Actor, though he still forces him to be part of his stories since he has no other options left and Actor is more powerful with how he can bend reality.
So even with Actor patching him up (literally) and giving him a place to live (the shitty van), B makes it his personal goal to go against Actor as much as possible with his plans, leading to the two constantly bickering and fighting, and even getting physical if no other people around, hardly having any consequences since we'll when both of you are essentially rotting corpses from the 20's it's easy to do some lethal damage to cover up later over arguing who gets the last cup of coffee (B doesn't like coffee).
So while they both get jabs at each other, Actor always usually gets the upper hand to end the arguments (usually if B brings up his past relationships), which is usually by physically taking away his voice via the scarring on his neck, only allowed to speak with Actor's say so.
OH AND MENTIONING THE B'S LOOK CHANGING IN THE THIRD PAGE- UM- ...okay gonna be completely honest that's just self-indulgent thing for myself since I like non-human traits, especially on my persona, so lemme bullshit my way into explaining how it fits lore wise
During looping in ISWM, one path B's able to corner Actor in his dressing room to try and get him to stop and let him quit the project, but when Actor sees the cracks on his skin, he gets an idea and suddenly B starts to change, becoming monochrome like Damien. Actor was planning to use that against B, saying that if he really wanted to be "against him", aka (in his mind) be his villain, then he'll make him look like one. (Though he does say this is only a fraction of how much worse he could make him look, forshadowing oOoO) Unfortunately for Actor....B fucking loves the change since he's a lil freak ans uses the claws and teeth to try and tear him apart, so Actor quickly realizes his mistake and reverts him back and just sends him on the right path again, making a mental note to limit that from now on cause B's a freak
But that's why B suspects Actor may have something to do wirh the cracks on his skin remaining after ISWM and, y'know, the whole arm falling off thing, but still hides the cracks since he gets this odd feeling...it's more than just him...
But uh yeah rambles aside these were fun doodles, both serious and just for fun (last one especially since unfortunately that IS what I immediately thought of when I saw Iron Lung's ending, sorry Simon XD), so now expect mayhaps some more lore/angst stuff between B and Actor sooooon >:]
My next Iron lung fanart installment that I worked on until 4am 🫡 this movie possessed me, guys. I haven't been this inspired and motivated in a LONG time. This one took me a hot minute because I decided to go full on painting everything while I kept the lineart for the Convict. Also, idk if anyone will catch this, but I was kinda of inspired by the Welcome to Derry bloody Pennywise for how I drew the blood on the Convict :p
Also I've been highly debating this, but should I make prints?? Or something??? Would people be interested in that? :o
Follow me on instagram & tiktok!! (user: sweeneytoddst)
Hey so, @rebar2042 had a very fun idea for a horror form Dark can have and I just had to draw it. Please go check their art out, it's really cool and they are a very kind artist as well :].
Original design by Rebar that inspired this is right here:
