[madonnapopstar12]

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[mchi22]

i fuckin hate games where u furnish/decorate a house because it reminds me i truly have no fucking idea what youre supposed to have in a room

[mchi22]

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[segamascott]

[pangur-and-grim]

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

[pangur-and-grim]

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

[pangur-and-grim]

[veemochi]

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[satorugojowidow]

Which of the three remaining european countries in the World Cup colonized your country?

Spain

France

England

Voting ended on6h

[ferrettaur]

So like an hour ago I just lear🪨︵︵ned that— what the fuck was that. Someone just skipped a rock across my post did you see that

[kikmessenger]

sits on my own blog like it’s the edge of a lake wistfully

[kikmessenger]

skips a stone over a few posts

[setulose]

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

[setulose]

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

[setulose]

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

[penandinkprincess]

parenting commitment level 3000

[penandinkprincess]

apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy

[starsarefairylightsfornerds]

[aqueerkettleofish]

When I was training to be a paramedic, we had one student ask the instructor what to do in the event of a marijuana overdose. The instructor said "Tell him to take two twinkies and call you in the morning."

[vermilionstarlight]

age regressing to 2 years old but i was an especially erudite and articulate baby so you don't even notice

[wonderarium]

this sewing pattern just touched me while i was in the middle of reading it

[toastyglow]

"it's inscrutable" maybe to you it is. I scrute it all the time

[i-give-you-a-fish]

You get a Milkfish

Chanos chanos

[fish-identifier]

i scrute the milkfish

[playwrongs]

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar