Slayer, Comma The

I bounce fandoms... a lot. Be prepared to hate everything I post as soon as I switch hyperfixations.

[smokey-ilya]

this is ilya when shane attempts to put away his baby album, whining that ilya’s had enough “fat baby shane time today” even tho there’s no such thing as enough fat baby shane time

[hr-rep]

Everyday I live in fear of the HR fandom getting ever closer to Sitcom Dad!Ilya and Sitcom Mom!Shane being what we are forced to digest as fandom staples

[scunthotter]

I get very annoyed by some of the posts that portray Ilya as an idiot. He's a giant party boy jock not fucking stupid. He's canonically very witty and clever in a second language and good at his job. 😒 also Shane is his enabler and competitor not his bitch wife. Shane wouldn't make him sleep on the couch, he'd be egging him on.

[theweight]

this orange was pregnant. Isn’t the world amazing

[fangs-4-fags]

the mystery bruises you're getting aren't from anemia or something stupid like that. they're from me. i go into your house while you're asleep and softly hit you with hammers until i am satisfied

[fangs-4-fags]

and yes, it is sexual

[hollanov-ann]

I adore them

[bugslibraryy]

At the cottage- Ilya leaving a massive fucking hickie on the soft skin of the back of Shane’s neck. He doesn’t realise till he pulls back, dizzy and panting and trying to blink his eyes open to check Shane is okay under him, ears still ringing- and sees the purple red welt, angry teeth marks around it and blood blisters patterning the skin.

It’s all shiny from his saliva. He didn’t realise how hard he’d been sucking and biting and mouthing at Shane’s neck as he fucked them through their second orgasms. Ilya is like oh fuck a little worried he bit too hard and he’s leaning down to brush his mouth mover it in tiny little kisses and Shane shivers and tightens around Ilya so hard Ilya gasps, hand gripping Shane’s hip. And Shane is all “don’t I can’t. I need like a few minutes at least” and Ilya is like oh 😚 my perfect pervert.

Shane finally sees it later in the afternoon, after a nap and shower with the help of the bathroom mirror and a phone. His eyes go dark and hes blushing and Ilya is all “you like this?” And Shane is shrugging and nodding and he’s leaning into Ilya again like they have a string tugging between their navels. He blows Ilya there in the bathroom, his knees on the tile, wet and worshiping and pulls Ilya’s hand to the back of his neck. He cums wet and messy against Ilya’s shin when Ilya’s fingers press down hard into the bruise while his cock is in the back of Shane’s throat.

Shane sending Ilya a picture of the bruise faded, but still there dark and the shape of Ilya’s hungry mouth abs to the, pressed into his skin. With the caption “almost gone” the ‘:(‘ is implied. The ache of being apart was enough and now the marks would be gone too. Ilya sucks another hickey, dark and small but there, between Shane’s thighs the next time they see each other, right in the crease between thigh and his ass so Shane doesn’t have to worry about anyone seeing it, but he can have it, the ache of Ilya with him. It helps both of them to know it’s there.

[penandinkprincess]

i know in my heart that post-outing, ilya is using the FUCK out of "because you are homophobic?" when he's not getting his way

you will not let him have the seat he wants on this bus? ah, he sees. clearly the homophobia.

you will not give him the lemon-lime gatorade and are trying to keep it for yourself? you think gays should have to drink only fruit punch? he is telling twitter IMMEDIATELY.

you will not come cuddle with him instead of doing the dishes? just because he is queer? "ilya, i am literally your gay husband." "yes, violence from within the alphabet is the worst kind. 😔" "🙄"

[hollanovsoup]

fat baby shane hollander with the kind of cheeks that made strangers in grocery stores stop yuna just to tell her how cute he was

like genuinely absurdly chubby baby. little wrist rolls. looked perpetually confused. dressed in 6 month old clothing at 2 months. the works.

ilya finds the baby photo album one day and has to sit down halfway through because unfortunately baby shane smiling with cheeks so chubby they hide his eyes is the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his life. he now keeps at least one photo of baby Shane in his wallet at all times to look at if he’s having bad day.

[lorencethecat]

Polycule but it’s just two people in a romantic relationship with each other and their third who’s pretty obviously aroace but also somehow so deeply intertwined in their lives that it’d just be wrong to not count them as involved. Is this anything.

[hungry-skeleton]

Asexuals were always part of pride and it really fucking shows when people think it's a recent term.

[hungry-skeleton]

Although not going by the term "asexual" yet, asexuality was spoken about alongside homosexuality as far back as the 1890s. Asexual history is just as vital to queer history as any other term and I'm so tired of watching us being treated like a new thing

[hungry-skeleton]

This image is so so fucking important to me

[hungry-skeleton]

Reblog this, cowards

[iridescentdepths]

Anyway everyone shut up and start being vocal about trans men's rights to reproductive care. The amount of trans men and mascs I've talked to who are horribly mistreated and abused in OBGYN offices is so fucked. Listen and care about us.

[thisfeebleheart]

Shane chasing Ilya's lips: 🤌

[cornyonmains]

Do I think it is objectively healthy that Shane being a bit of a doormat when it comes to Ilya is ultimately what helped Ilya trust him enough to form a long term relationship with him?

Well, no, not really.

But the fact it escalated into a 7 year long unnegotiated dom/sub dynamic, something which I'm not entirely sure either character actively knew they were doing, makes for riveting television.

[animentality]

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya telling shane about irina and how they were best friends and he hung out with her all the time and he was her protector and he would skip school on her bad days to brush her hair and make sure she ate something even if it was just tea and she was an angel and you know shane is calculating how best to gently bring up to his husband that that doesn’t sound like it was very fair to child ilya without ilya reacting like a wild fucking animal

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

ilya comes back from therapy with galina like three months after this fight (of course it was a fight) and with the same candor as ashley padilla in the mom confession sketch goes i’m only going to say this once and i’m only going to say it if after i do you promise you will not react no talking no faces no nothing and shane’s on the couch reading like uh. what’s going on? and ilya goes what i have to tell you. Is that I think I was treated unfairly. By my mom. and of course shane makes a face and ilya is reacting like a wild fucking animal

[hyphenemdash]

we always hear about ilya being adorably intense about their relationship once he and shane are public but do yall KNOW mr intensity shane hollander? man was told he was gay by his girlfriend and IMMEDIATELY decided he was all in on ilya rozanov. he marched up to that hawaiian shirt-wearing man at that tampa hotel bar and said “you look good but your look better inside me.” you know the minute he gets over being outed and all the fallout settles, he’s like dragging his husband around by the fucking teeth. “have you met my husband, ilya rozanov, the only hockey player that has ever challenged me? we’re married, btw.”

[penandinkprincess]

with how much shane enjoys getting pinned down, i'm laughing about the idea of ilya who knows academically that he and shane are equally matched but who never really transfers that thought to the bedroom because he and shane playfight/wrestle as foreplay but shane enjoys "losing" these particular struggles and thus doesn't really ever use his full strength beyond the opening few seconds

which means the first time shane is riding him and is close to finishing and thus shoves him the FUCK back down when ilya is about to sit up and turn them hits ilya like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN

man is getting held down with a hand to his chest with a force shane hasn't actually used in bed before and he is about to pass! out! from the force of the horny crashing over him