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@achunkatatime
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any character, in a moment of introspection and epiphany: who am i?
my dumb ass: iām jean valjean!
The real tragedy about the barricade is that we donāt know how much is true. Victor Hugo was there at the June Rebellion, so what is fact and what is fiction? That question gives me chills because weāll never know.Ā
Charles Jeanne (who I think is probably actual real life Enjolras) wrote an in-detail account of the ACTUAL barricades in a letter to his sister after the fact
you can read it, tenlittlebullets translated it into English :)
itās really graphic, he leaves no gory details out, just FYI if youāre gonna read it, keep TW: VIOLENCEĀ in mind
#how is he real-life enjolras if he survivedĀ (via metellus-cimber)
Iām so glad somebody asked this, because the answer is: when they finally ran out of ammunition, Charles Jeanne rounded up everyone who was still standing, went,Ā ālook, if weāre going to die, we might as well die fighting,ā and led a suicidal ten-man charge against an entire flippinā infantry column, armed with nothing but bayonets. The first few ranks of soldiers were so unprepared for such a spectacularly insaneĀ attack that they were too surprised to shoot. They crossed bayonets and tried to hold the insurgents off in hand-to-hand combat, but Jeanneās swordsmanship was apparently aces, because he held off a bunch of them at once and covered his friends as they tried to breach the ranks. And once they were in, nobody could shoot them for fear of taking out their own guys.
So the last stand that the insurgents hadĀ intended as a noble suicide ended in them breaking throughĀ the ranks entirely and winding up in the next street over, outside the combat zone, goingĀ āwell shit, what do we do now?ā (Iām guessing the infantry column wasnāt very deep; central Paris at that point was a rabbit warren of narrow twisty streets, and assembling troops en masse for an organized attack was a logistical nightmare.) Unlike the National Guard, the army werenāt totalĀ chumps and got themselves turned around to give chase and start shooting once they werenāt at risk of friendly fire any longer⦠and thatās when all the civilians holed up in their houses wentĀ āno way, youāre not getting your hands on these crazy bastardsā and started hurling furniture and crockery down on the soldiersā heads. Jeanne was understandably distracted at the time, but afterwards somebody informed him that the barrage of unlikely projectiles included a piano. A piano. That is some straight-up Looney Tunes slapstick right there. No wonder Hugo went for the heroic death scene instead; if heād stuck to real life, he probably wouldāve gotten complaints that heād wrecked his readersā suspension of disbelief.
Anyway, someone opened an alley gate for them to shelter in and take stock of the casualtiesāmost of them survived(!!!), but a few were pretty nastily wounded. Their host then had to lock Charles Jeanne inĀ to keep him from charging right back out and taking on the whole goddamn army singlehanded. He probably wouldāve broken down the door if the poor man hadnāt pointed out that going back out would give away his wounded comradesā hiding place and the identities of the people sheltering them. They sat there listening to the gunfire gradually slow and go silent, and then in the middle of the night the ones who could still walk were allowed to slip away one by one at long intervals from each other. Charles Jeanne went straight home, slept like the dead for a few hours, was woken up at five in the morning with a warning that heād been denounced and the building was surrounded, and then slipped out in disguise and managed to evade the police for four months before a former comrade ratted him out and he was arrested.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why Charles Jeanneās letter is an absolute treasure that deserves to be available to anyone in Les Mis fandom who wants to read it. Incidentally, āhow Actual Historical Enjolras survived the barricades by being too good at his suicide missionā is also one of the stories I tell when anyone asks me what the hell is so interesting about researching people nobodyās ever heard of from an obscure chapter of French history.Ā
If Hugh Jackman can deadlift 405 pounds, he shouldnāt have settled merely for Marius. He couldāve picked up Enjolras as well. You know what, add Eponine. Street gamines canāt possibly weigh that much. Man letās just add the whole of Les Amis (including Gavroche). Itās Hugh Jackman. He can take it.Ā
#valjean just picks up the whole barricade and leaves
āyes my child I forgot what your booby of a young man looks like so please pick one from the pileā
*tries to subtly tilt the more sensible looking ones towards cosette*Ā
#but imagine him trying really hard to get her to choose combeferre
āLook, Cosette, this one is practicing medicine! And he seems to have an extensive reserve of facts on things from moths to space!ā
āPapa, I think that is Marius beneath him.ā
āNo it isnāt. But look at this Combeferre, his glasses truly frame his face.ā
āPapa-ā
āCosette. P L E A S E.ā
The best part about this is that Valjean has no idea who his daughters dating, but damn it he knows itās one of them, so he just takes everyone. The young doctor? Coming. The drunk one? Hopefully not, but bring him anyways. The small child? Might be the brother of whoever Cosetteās with, better bring him just in case. This young woman? Well, Cosetteās already proven she doesnāt tell Valjean everything, so sheās coming too.
And then the final confrontation between him and Javert. Valjean comes staggering out of the sewers holding a pile of people.
āITāS YOU JAVERT, I KNEW YOU WOULDNāT WAIT TOO LONG!ā
āValjean, what the fuck-ā
āTHE FAITHFUL SERVANT AT HIS POST ONCE MORE!ā
āHow are you balancing all of them.ā
āTHIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS GIRL AND THIS BOY AND THIS BOY AND THIS CHILD HAVE DONE NO WRONG, AND THE NEED A DOCTORS CARE!ā
āIām not dealing with this, just go.ā
āCOME, TIME IS RUNNING SHORT!ā
āI said you can leave!ā
āLOOK DOWN, JAVERT, THEYāRE ALL STANDING IN THEIR GRAVES! MAKE WAY, JAVERT, THEREāS ABOUT A DOZEN LIVES TO SAVE!ā
āTAKE THEM VALJEAN.ā
My uni students asked me if they had homework for the holidays and I felt so bad for them and their tired, dead eyes that I told them to just mail me pics of their favorite pokemons. Ā
Three students sent me digimons I canāt fucking trust them with anything I give up
Goldens are life
Look! Itās my future pup Mango!
This is messed up
If you are affected by this please refer to this :
What's the best ("best" being defined however you prefer) book you've read in the last year or so?
Electricity and Magnetism for Mathematicians. Best physics book Iāve ever read.
hi iām tolkien here are my ocs. i call them Elves (not elfs!!! if you call them elfs i will block you) they look like humans but theyāre tall, live forever, and have pointy ears. thatās it bye
cs lewis: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean
tolkien: no go ahead i want to hear it
cs lewis: they fucking suck
tolkien: thats not constructive criticism
cs lewis: hereās my OC, itās jesus but heās a lion tolkien: Furry cs lewis: blocked
Tolkien: lamp posts donāt exist in fantasy worlds Cs Lewis: ok you know what fuck you
CS Lewis: I could beta for you if you want. help you trim the fat on your stories
Tolkien: what do you mean
CS Lewis: I just. you describe a lot of trees. Ā are trees that important
Tolkien: just you fucking wait. trees are SO important.
~and that day, Tolkien invented ents~
@urulokid
CS Lewis: Not more trees.
Tolkien: This oneās based on you.
casual reminder that Lewis and Tolkein almost completely ended their friendship over Lewis having Santa make an appearance in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe because Tolkein hated it so fucking much.
CS Lewis: bitch
Tolkien: blocked
CS Lewis: wait unblock me i need to tell you something
Tolkien: unblocked
CS Lewis: bitch
Take it from a geologistā¦
The Earth has stretch marks, scars, faults, and some pretty funky natural odors, and sheās still the most interesting, wondrous, and beautiful thing Iāve ever seen.
I saw this and thought of @fleamontpotter.
OP HOW CAN YOU NOT ADD THE BEST PART OF THIS TWEET THREAD
huge if true
THIS IS WHY I FEAR AND RESPECT, BUT DONāT TRUST, BIRDS AKA TINY DINOSAURS.
tarot card asks
fool: whatās the biggest risk youāve ever taken?
magician: list 3 of your talents
high priestess: do you pay more attention to your heart or your mind?
empress: how dependent are you on others?
emperor: describe your relationship with your father
hierophant: do you value tradition?
lovers: does someone need to share your values for you to pursue a relationship?
chariot: in what situations are you most assertive?
strength: how impulsive are you?
hermit: what are you like when youāre alone?
wheel of fortune: howās your luck?
justice: do you value fairness over mercy?
hanged man: how do you feel about martyrs?
death: do you like change?
temperance: do you tend to focus on the past, present, or future?
devil: is there anything youāre addicted to?
tower: what do you most want to change about yourself?
star: what religious beliefs do you have?
moon: do you have any recurrent dreams?
sun: do you believe optimism is always good?
judgement: how confident are you in yourself?
world: what do you hope to accomplish before you die?
Florence. By me. July 2017.
Florence at dusk