a study in fangirling

if i have to behave like an intelligent college student everywhere else, this will be my place to cry about my feels.

[macklemorrigan]

do not flirt with women when they are at work

do not take advantage of women who are in situations where they cannot say no or be blunt

[macklemorrigan]

#im a barista not your goddamn girlfriend take your coffee and leave

[espressobuns]

[bye-bye-little-sebastian-deacti]

Why am I so emotionally invested in this fake robot

[boleynqueens-deactivated2017112]

#iconic

[dennys]

welcome to dencon, on your birthday you get an extra hour in the pit.

[aph-lithuania]

dENNY’S YOU DIDN’T

[annaprocrastinates]

Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston dressed as each other’s characters at a Breaking Bad cast party.

[introxlifetrap-deactivated20170]

This is probably the best gif ever

[man-duhh]

oh my god

[bl-ossomed]

I fucking can’t

[yotoob]

We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice. 

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.

[yotoob]

ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.

[yotoob]

HELP WE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.

BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?

[fanaticalqueergeek]

The Gay Agenda, everyone. 

[duskenpath]

this is fucking i n c r e d i b l e

[imagine-otp]

Imagine your otps

[shewillfeatdrake]

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

[dalekplz-deactivated20200508]

“Thar be booty to be found matey” “Matey, yar booty be thee most bountiful” “Matey”

[hungry-hobbits]

brorates sailing the brocean in their broats

[queenklu]

Pirate1: What be a pirate’s favorite letter? Pirate2: *sigh* Ye’d think it be R but his first love be the C Pirate1: Matey, this pirate’s favorite letter is U Pirate2: Matey

[justneckbeardthings]

these are all written by the same guy…..yikes

[memejacker-deactivated20150111]

caligula had anime eyes

[ainda4441-deactivated20230101]

wait romans painted their marble sculptures

it looks like a cheap theme park ride mascot

[memejacker-deactivated20150111]

yep

here’s a statue of Augustus

and here’s a reproduction of the statue with the colors restored 

[misterqueasy-blog]

i honestly think that what we consider the height of sculpture in all of Western civilization being essentially the leftover templates of gaudy pieces of theme park shit to be evidence of the potential merit of found art

[space-gynecologist-deactivated2]

“I tried coloring it and then I ruined it”

[prokopetz]

And you know what the funniest part is? The paint didn’t just wear off over time. A bunch of asshole British historians back in the Victorian era actually went around scrubbing the remaining paint off of Greek and Roman statues - often destroying the fine details of the carving in the process - because the bright colours didn’t fit the dignified image they wished to present of the the cultures they claimed to be heirs to. This process also removed visible evidence of the fact that at least some of the statues thus stripped of paint had originally depicted non-white individuals.

Whenever you look at a Roman statue with a bare marble face, you’re looking at the face of imperialist historical revisionism.

(The missing noses on a lot of Egyptian statues are a similar deal. It’s not that the ancient Egyptians made statues with strangely fragile noses. Many Victorian archaeologists had a habit of chipping the noses off of the statues they brought back, then claiming that they’d found them that way - because with the noses intact, it was too obvious that the statues were meant to depict individuals of black African descent.)

[stankyleg-deactivated2918973]

Sorry, I keep reblogging this over and over, the last comment is unbelievable. Wow.

[myuuzaki]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is science in a nutshell

[alongfalltothetop-deactivated20]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[curiowitch]

[wickedkhaleesi-blog]

This is savage and genius

[space-emos]

guess who just watched Ex Machina

this scene of course

the Finalizer totally needs a dance switch

[aclockworkginge]

Please never forget that Sansa Stark literally almost pushed Joffrey off a bridge in season one

Tell me she's not about to fuck shit up. It's her time

[bibliotheksbewohnerin]

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

[newusernamepending]

Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.

Well don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.

[lizardsexposed]

hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED

[thirtythreethirtyfive-deactivat]

Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals? Like down the drain??

[lizardsexposed]

with the spinny knives

[cannabisbutch]

No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.

[lizardsexposed]

you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger

[doggirlsnout-deactivated2021062]

i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains

[rosekin]

who’s going around fisting sinks anyway

[grilledcheesesamus]

“don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink”

is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sink’s drain and they fuck it?

[rosekin]

dont sinkshame

[larmoyante]

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.

Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven  (via cybergirlfriend)

[sacred-cows]

Omg I just went to get a latte from my regular coffee shop and I always have the same guy serving me and I must bug him so much as I would always ask for almomd milk (im lactose intolerant) but they would just have lacto free so I stuck with that and today as I drank my latte I could tell the difference in the milk and asked if they started serving almond milk and the guy just shyly said “well you always ask if we have it so i got it specially for you” thiS GUY BOUGHT THE MILK WITH HIS OWN MONEY I FEEL SO PREVILEDGED RIGHT NOW EAAAAHH

[zombb-8-deactivated20190924]

this is the start of a beautiful coffee shop AU 

[franzkafkagf]

Tag yourself, I’m gary