deprussian

Val /// 24 /// they/them /// lesbian ///

[pantwardowskimoved]

most historical sources on folklore are like newspaper clippings or someone's notes on how the village priest told him what the peasants believed but my favorite are personal letters like the one from a french guy called pierre de noyers in the 17th century who wrote to his friend like "hello my dear friend i am returning from my trip to ukraine it's been great did you know about those cute little steppe marmots they have over there i'm obsessed i need ten of those little bitches in my house. i cannot understate how cute those marmots are. anyway what was i saying. right the ukrainians also have some terrible illness that makes their dead rise and suck the blood of their families"

[pantwardowskimoved]

sorry to all vampires but that fucking thang

is more important. wait in line.

[notallmensheviks]

funnily enough unbeknownst to this author marmots (possibly a different variant) are one of the major sources of a real terrible illness namely the bubonic plague

[carcinized]

the “affirmations” the official shark week instagram posted are really funny. like yeah Mecore tbh

[pacificnorthwestdoodles]

National Parks Service Crochet Patterns:

FISH

Walleye Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

Walleye Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

Halibut Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

Halibut Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

GEOLOGY

Lava Flow Crochet Pillow (U.S. National Park Service)

Lava Flow Crochet Pillow (U.S. National Park Service)

INVERTEBRATES

Triops Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

Triops Crochet Pattern (U.S. National Park Service)

[snailspng]

Sea slug PNGs

(source: seaslug.world)

[tappytune]

@slugs-at-midnight

[casgirl]

Thinking about Bruce’s eating dome

[casgirl]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[alienthegreenalien]

stellar graffiti near my apartment

[starlightomatic]

do fish ever get to repent? or are they doomed to swim around forever bearing the sins we have tossed to them to consume over the many years?

[starlightomatic]

[noir-renard]

[starlightomatic]

[justcrafting]

this drawing i did years ago makes sense now

[campyvillain]

if i think of baby swordfish again i’m gonna be sent into a coughing fit

[campyvillain]

best baby animal of all time. only the essentials (big funny snout)

[campyvillain]

THERES EVEN SMALLER ONES ARE YOU SERIOUS

[campyvillain]

fr tho imagine being this thing and you grow up into a beast that kills things with its nose what would you even do.

[calagua]

*goes in my first diving trip to the ocean floor*

*Sees a crab* errmmmmm..... Snip??? Lol..

*sees a sea slug* wwhat the wtf is that fucking thing

*sees the symbiotic relationship of a goby fish and a shrimp. The shrimp is constantly working on it's burrow taking out sand, rearranging rocks and cultivating algae to live, while the goby is on permanent look out duty for predators. When it senses danger, it makes the shrimp aware by moving it's tail (the shrimp always has an antennae by it for communication) and they both go in the burrow for protection.* Whoa. Gay married

[marisatomay]

love to purchase items but at what cost

[icantwritegood]

[commondyke]

The defunctland video was great and all but the bit that's sticking with me is when they talked about how they would covertly get children interested in fish a whole year before any finding nemo advertising so the film would be more popular. And he went "that's pretty sinister actually" and she just said "Yeah! :)"

[thewrongexecution]

[cannibalchicken]

make better choices

[tkingfisher]

So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.

Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)

The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)

The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.

In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.

[grimsauce]

[tkingfisher]

EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably

[irondoe]

Ok but the real question is what happens to the eels? Are they alive up there squiggling around like, ‘wtf?’ Do the scientists remove them? Are eels beginning to avoid areas where teenage monk seals hang out?

[tkingfisher]

I regret to say that the eels do not come out of this as well as the seals do. But it did lead to one of the most understated and marvelous sentences ever spoken by a wildlife rehabber, namely:

“Though no seals have died or been seriously affected by the eels, having a dead animal up their noses for any extended amount of time poses potentially adverse health impacts, said Simeone, director of Ke Kai Ola, a monk seal hospital in Hawaii run by the Marine Mammal Center.”

[socialpants]

So I guess by now the seals know if they snort an eel, they get to go to an all expenses paid vacation in the seal hospital, and just hang out and get fed and meet other cute young seals?

[runcibility]

[tomfrommanagment]

Cephalopod Spectrum of Friendliness

[catwire]

what's everyone's lockscreen?? tell me in the tags or reblog with a screenshot

[beemeganblood]

For quick reference

[catwire]

you’re the most interesting person here

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[cryptotheism]

Had a dream that I was accidentally entered into a "Christian rap competition" and the only thing I could think to rap about was my current interest in pickling onions. The crowd thought my pickled red onion brine for Jesus rap was so cringe that they didn't even boo. The entire venue just went completely silent until I felt awkward and left.

[plum-soup]

This would have done numbers with Russian orthodox Christians you were just playing to the wrong crowd king. Protestants have no culture

[cryptotheism]

"Are my pickled red onion bars wack? No, it is simply the protestants who are wrong."