god okay in an attempt to be less of an asshole, here’s how child speech DOES work (or tend to work, at least)
kids tend to hypercorrect — this means that they tend to say things like “sleeped” instead of “slept,” “writed” instead of “wrote,” “goed” instead of “went,” etc
kids tend not to make errors such as omitting verbs (“i hungry”)
kids also tend not to make errors in the i/me, she/her department (“me am hungry”)
simplification of difficult sounds — consonant clusters especially, so things like st, sp, ps, etc., as well as f, v, th-sounds, ch-sounds, etc.
“babbling”-type utterances (“apwen” for “airplane,” using one babbly word for multiple objects, things like that) generally occur in children under the age of three and a half
say it with me: an eight-year-old child is not going to be saying “me hungwy”
do not confuse child speech with stereotypical learner english mistakes, that’s not only incorrect but also gross on the stereotypical learner english front (“me love you long time,” anybody?)
if you’re going to write kidfic please do some goddamn research