spenser starke this was so fucked up of you
i don't do bad sauce passes
occasionally subtle
KIROKAZE
Not today Justin
Mike Driver
ojovivo

Discoholic đŞŠ
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
Today's Document
sheepfilms
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

@theartofmadeline

shark vs the universe
AnasAbdin
Cosmic Funnies
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taylor price

Product Placement

#extradirty

â

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@allicatt2020
spenser starke this was so fucked up of you
one of the best parts of fhsy is that fig and fabian both make such awful choices, but fig is headed by emily axford, who gleefully believes in and fights for her characterâs insane ideas, while fabian is headed by lou wilson, who is actively shrinking into the ground and evaporating as he realizes what the Only In Character Decision there is to make is.
Iâm gonna die tomorrow.
you know whatâs a trope that never gets tired is when theyre bouncing around in the plot and suddenly an important name crops up- itâs blorbo bleebus. and some dude is like who the hell is blorbo bleebus. and we immediately cut to our new friend blorbo bleebus pulling the most absolutely buckwild shit youâve ever seen
I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.
I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend
REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE REESE THOUGHT MALCOLM WAS GAY AND MALCOLM THOUGHT REESE WAS GAY AND THEY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT LIKE THIS IâM CRYING
I know Iâve reblogged this and commented before- but my favorite part is that immediately after this, Malcolm is like âso anyway I got you theseâ and hands Reese some pamphlets about accepting yourself as queer that he got from the guidance counselor, and Reese is like âoh, I got you theseâ and hands him a grocery bag full of gay porn.
So I kept telling my husband to stop unfolding his clean clothes and leaving them on the floor, and he insisted he wasnât doing any of that even though I had the evidence.
Just found the cat pulling t-shirts out of his drawer, which had been left slightly ajar. The culprit has escalated from trashcan crimes and is trying to cause upset in my marriage now.
I discovered the ruse a bit faster than the former but she ALSO pulls clothes off the hangers by trying to âclimbâ them so she can sit on the top closet shelf.
HOMEWRECKER
get her a cat tower, she wants to be tall
She HAS a cat tower itâs the tallest one the store had
And she has LOTS of toys and many snackies she has NO reason to cause mischief except her own bastardly motivation.
She has a reason and that reason is because she is a cat
Ok, but if youâre an independent contractor in the US and this happens? Find a lawyer, because you might have just gotten a huge payday.
Your position was just referred to as employment. Independent contractors do not have employers; they do not have employment. Congrats, your contact at this company just provided evidence that you were illegally missclassified.
This contact is claiming that you have set hours youâre obligated to fulfill. Unless a work task can only be done at a set time for practical reasons (i.e. youâre an audio freelancer paid to support a live event that occurs at a particular time and requires a certain amount of pre-show setup), a company cannot set an independent contractorâs work hours. This is further evidence that you were missclassified.
The whole exchange establishes that the company is interpreting an employer-employee relationship rather than expecting a service. Discipline and potential for firing (you cannot fire an independent contractor; no longer purchasing their service is not equivalent) establish that this person views themselves as a manager. Independent contractors cannot have managers.
This one text exchange could:
Get you back pay for the full duration youâve worked there, to bring you up to the compensation that an employee would have gotten
Get you back compensation for lost benefits that an employee would have gotten
Get you back pay for the additional self-employment taxes the company should have covered
Get the company to pay back taxes to the government
Get the company to hire everyone who performed a similar role, or face further penalties and fines
A win would encourage the rest of their missclassified workers to sue for the same, or give them leverage to demand a better deal
If the company is going to screw you over like that, may as well make them pay for it.
Since this is getting a lot of reblogs, hereâs a federal source that can help you determine if youâre illegally classified as a contractor:
You can also file a form with the IRS to force the company to correct your classification (assuming you meet the criteria), without necessarily having to sue:
Learn how to determine whether a person providing a service to you is an employee or an independent contractor.
Keep in mind that this is just federal. Most states also prohibit missclassification as an independent contractor; and even if states have more lenient rules, companies still have to comply with this federal law. The rules have largely been bipartisan and existed for decades, so theyâre common.
States also have an interest in having regulations about missclassification: itâs a significant loss of tax revenue. Your self employment tax does not fully equal what a company would have paid for you in payroll taxes.
A lawyer can help point you in the right direction if a company is currently missclassifying you.
Heads up to all my followers, if youâre ever gonna subscribe to Dropout, now is the time. Price goes up indefinitely Jan 4th but people who are already subscribed will have the lower price forever.
i genuinely did not remember how fucked up the plot of robots (2005) was like. rich robot capitalists stop manufacturing certain parts to cause poor robots to become obsolete so they can be melted down and their metal remains used to create more high end products in the name of profit like wow thats genuinely horrifying for a movie whos target audience was mainly 8 year olds
this is the same movie that has a character with an ass thats twice the size of her body
And it was a cinematic masterpiece
and it was a cinematic masterpiece
for fellow austins and the rest of texas
fuck ERCOT
Donât use a gas oven to heat your home or run your car in the garage
Carbon monoxide kills you so quick. Please all do not do this.
Drip both hot and cold on all faucets + open the cupboards that house the pipes because if you donât your pipes will burst and youâll have massive flooding.
Iâm bringing this around again because itâs getting cold in some places and Iâve been getting things to prepare for if we get another freeze in a few months. Since then, the official death toll of the freeze sits at 210, while Buzzfeed reported in May that the true count is likely much higherâ around 700. It also caused one of the worst mass carbon monoxide poisonings in recent US history.
I have very little faith that Governor Abbott has done âall that needs to be doneâ to protect the grid and itâs weighing on me as we get closer to winter.
Keeping the Tigers entertained
Winner winner, red meat dinnerđŻ
I like how thereâs the one tiger in the background just sitting there. âIâll wait to be fed PROPERLY, thank you.â
I love how politely theyâre taking turns
Cats are literally all the same.
Suckers
How to get the boys in the bath
this movie is so fucking creepy jesus fuck
Itâs by Tim Burton, what did you honestly expect?
Actually, itâs Henry Selick, who was the director of The Nightmare Before Christmas. The book was written by Neil Gaiman, though, and is farâŚfarâŚ.worse.
Sorry, Iâm about to geek the hell out.
The movie is captivating, but the book is twenty kinds of terrifying, even now, ten years after I first read it. As disturbing as the movie may have been to some, the things Selick added really serve to cushion just how horrific the story really is.
First of all, the character of Wybie does not exist in the book. Coraline is facing all of this nearly alone, with her only help coming from the sly comments of the cat, a warning from the circus mice, and the stone given to her by her neighbor, presented with no comment but that it âmakes the unseen seen.â
Second, the Other Parents are never quite as warm (and, dare I say, normal) as they are in the gifs above. Theyâre described as having paper-white skin and the Other Motherâs hair is said to move on its own, and her long, red, claw-like nails donât ease any uncertainty that she is absolutely, positively up to no good. The first time Coraline meets them, they (and the rest of the Others) seem to be playing roles (for whatever reason, Coraline does not seem to pick up on this), like they all know what to say and what to do and are simply waiting for Coraline to make her move in their terrifying play world. This is shown to be partly true when the Other Parents tell her they know sheâll be back soon after she refuses the buttons - this time, to stay.
Third, the Other Mother commits atrocities that really should not have been in a book for anyone not fully grown up. She physically deforms the world around Coraline to slow her progress in their game beyond any mild traps the movie portrays, and, instead of turning the Other Father into the wandering pumpkin-thing seen in the film, she simply ceases to use him and throws his body away in the cellar, leaving him to rot with whatever bit of sentience he has left. She begins to lose her touch, as Coraline gains the upper hand. Her world doesnât just become a nightmare - it falls apart completely. No creepy but oddly cool bug furniture here, just the house that now appears to be a childâs drawing. Whatever the Other Mother is (a beldame, but something tells me sheâs much more ancient and powerful than that), she does not give half a hump about what she has to do to ensnare Coraline. Destroy the supporting characters of her twisted creation? Done. Allow herself to be dismembered to ruin Coralineâs life in the normal world? Not even gonna bat an eyelash.
On a final, personal note, imagine eight year-old me, ignored by my parents, absorbed in the story and identifying with Coraline from the start. Imagine me finishing this bloodcurdling book and immediately thinking of my basement, where there is still a locked door that my grandmother swears up and down is nothing more than a storage room, but has not once in my (or my motherâs) lifetime unlocked.
Can you see why this book still scares me?
Fun fact I learned from seeing neil gaiman speak: when he first wanted the book published, his editor said it was too scary. He suggested she read it to her young daughter, and then decide. So she did, and her daughter wasnât afraid, and it was published. Years later, Gaiman was sitting next to that daughter at an event and told her this story, and she said âoh I was terrified I just didnât want to tell my momâ.
Coraline WAS too scary to be published, but exists anyway because a girl lied to her mother.
@neil-gaiman, is this true about the publisherâs daughter?
It was my literary agent, Merrilee Heifetz who read it and said âyou canât seriously expect this to be published as a childrenâs book.â So I suggested she read it to her daughters. And she called me back a week later and said âThey love it and they werenât scared at all. Iâll take it to Harper Childrenâs.â
A decade later, at the Opening Night of the Coraline musical, I was sitting next to Morgan, Merileeâs youngest daughter, and told her how her not being scared had made the book happen. And she said âI was terrified. But I needed to find out what happened next. So nobody knew.â
So, yes.
This website can be toxic at times, but the fact that people can just tag Neil Gaiman to get his input, like a sorcerer invoking a benevolent spirit, is definitely a bright spot.
My little brother Ryan has been missing for a week.. He is now across stat⌠Kailey Marlette needs your support for HELP BRING RYAN HOMEâźď¸MIS
âźď¸âźď¸PLEASE HELP ME FIND MY LITTLE BROTHER!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCYâźď¸âźď¸
Heâs a missing native child and at EXTREME RISK! The cops arenât doing SHIT!
BOOST, DONATE, & SHARE
This was posted on 29th October 2021. Don't mistake it for something super old. This is happening now and the kid could be in danger so please please PLEASE signal boost
Owen Wilson talks Shakespeare and Tom Hiddleston (2021)
Ever since I got a job as a security guard I canât take heist movies seriously anymore.
Why is that?
Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that theyâre leaving the alarm key in the alarm because itâs always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.
The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guardâs voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.
The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically canât make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.
The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, âAnal use onlyâ. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. Thereâs no way around it, theyâre going to catch you. And youâre going to have to deal with the fact that youâve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say âAnal use onlyâ and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.
The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know thereâs no way in hell that would work.
The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.
The Team attempts to break into the high security room but canât because itâs randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.
The Team steals a keycard with âââââunlimitedâââââ access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.
The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, âWe are here to rob youâ. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.
This sounds like a great movie, honestly
I will always remember that when I worked for a pharmaceutical company in IT, there were massive security procedures, systems with air gaps, locations with biometric scanners and metal detectors and locking revolving doors, but the highest level of security was a human being in a bulletproof proof room with line of sight to the door and a button. To /get/ to the door, you had to go through tons of other layers and badge access and identity verification, but the final lock was a dual physical key (which required two people to open) and a human being with a book of photographs and a button to push.
At the onset of the 2008-onward recession it became more or less impossible to get the sort of summer gig that college students traditionally get. I couldnât get a callback from any of the area fast food restaurants, the babysitting gigs were gone, I drew blanks on waitressing, dishwashing, landscaping, car washes, summer camps, you name it. The big local summer attraction near me is a horse racetrack, and I put in apps for every position from betting clerk to horse manure removal tech. I got one (1) job offer that summer, and it was to be a security guard. I was a 19 year old girl with a perky ponytail, big olâ doe eyes, and no experience or interest whatsoever in policing, so I genuinely thought Iâd gotten the offer because theyâd confused my application with someone elseâs⌠until the first day of training.
Training consisted of a number of retired high ranking New York State Troopers very earnestly trying to convince a room of âdudes who desperately wanted to be a cop but couldnât jump even that low hurdleâ and also âone increasingly incredulous 19 year old girl who could only hear a loud high pitched note in one ear because she stood too close to her amps at the punk show last nightâ not to bring swords, shurukens, or butterfly knives into work.
We went over the âdo not bring in your own weaponsâ lecture for the majority of day 1 of training. Day 2 was also âdo not bring in your own weaponsâ for a lot of the day, then we moved onto âidentifying the different types of fire extinguisher,â and wrapped up the day with âwasp stings.â Well, actually during âwasp stingsâ we had a sidebar when this one guard who looked like Ben Franklin raised his hand and shared that he, personally, took care of wasps by blowing their nests up with improvised gasoline-based explosives, so technically we wrapped up the day with âdo not bring in your own weapons even if those weapons are to harm a wasp.â
Day 3 was a half day, where we reviewed everything weâd learned about no weapons, fire extinguishers, and wasps, and then we took a written test, which I finished with a perfect score in three minutes so Sargeant Minetti made me grade everyone elseâs. After that, I was a full ass security guard; I picked up my fake cop uniform, badge(!!!), tiny notebook, strapped a walkie to my belt, and was given my assignment. My beat was very very literally the most public facing one that existed; while most of my colleagues were posted at gates that might never get opened for the entire summer, I had âthe wholeass quarter mile of pavement abutting the chain link fence that separated the public from the ponies.â My responsibilities were simple:
1. tell people to move their rolling coolers out of the fire lane
2. take people with wasp stings to the nurse
and oh yeah
3. every time a clerk at a betting window in my section accumulated more than $10,000 dollars in cash, I had to escort them for ½ of a mile through the incredibly dense crowd of drunk people, any of whom might be interested in stealing more than $10,000 dollars, and get the money safely into the giant vault.
I remember the very first run i made. The betting clerk looked at me, the 19 year old responsible for protecting both them and $10,000. I looked back at him through the mirrored aviators that Iâd bought at a gas station for 5 bucks because I thought it was very very funny and good fake cop cosplay. My walkie hissed ominously.
ââŚUh, so if someone tries to take the money, what are you going to do?â He asked.
âWell, I get paid 12 bucks an hour, so⌠nothing.â I responded. âHow about you?â
We quickly arrived at an understanding.
Two of the guards from my training group got fired that summer for bringing in their own weapons, and at least one of them had both a butterfly knife and at least one shuruken. Many more dropped out as they discovered that they would not actually be doing Die Hard shit. As for me, I did literally nothing to prevent crime all summer, but I also halfheartedly cleared a path through the crowd at the front of a very sad âSt. Patrickâs Day In Julyâ parade, which made me enough of a success story that they actually called me unprompted to ask if Iâd come back the next year⌠with one caveat.
See, the next year I returned as a weathered veteran with a spotless disciplinary record, so they gave me three hours of additional training to get a certification to become a peace officer. As a result, from ages 20-23 (when my license expired) I had the same legal powers of arrest as a police officer.
Me. They just gave me that.
In conclusion, if youâre a highly qualified team of heistmen looking to rob an entity that accumulates wealth by convincing drunk desperate people to give them their money and you pick a fucking casino when the racetrack is right there, youâre either thinking way too inside the box⌠or you have a healthy fear of shurukens I guess.
Only valid response to this post, everyone else can go home.
I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?
FINE! I'll do it myself