Amber The Werewolf’s Blog

[amber-werewolf]

Might as well make an intro post.

Anyway I’m Amber. I’m a part of a system. I made this blog to have somewhere to be myself untethered from the expectation that I act like our host.

Likes: Music, fitness, art

Dislikes: being treated as less than the host, bigotry, being cold

Kin: werewolf otherkin

Gender: I identify as female, she/her pronouns please

Sexuality: I’m pretty sure I’m asexual

DNI: nsfw blogs, sh blogs

[amber-werewolf]

I fucking *hate* that I feel pressured to conform to conventional femininity. I want to feel pretty when I dress how I want. Yet it feels like I’m not doing enough when my makeup isn’t perfect or how I don’t shave my body hair at all. I want to feel good when I dress how I like, but when it feels like the world is judging me, I feel bad. I don’t want to reject femininity entirely because I love makeup, dresses, doing my nails, and other conventionally feminine things, but sometimes it feels more like a cage than free expression.

[amber-werewolf]

I really want to feel pretty. I do sometimes, but other times my scars, skin, and body shape make me feel unattractive. It doesn’t help that I often find myself in masculine outfits that were thrown together without any care. I’m supposed to be the confident one, yet I also feel bad about my body at times.

[amber-werewolf]

I went to the thrift store with my dad today and I got five patterns for various skirts and dresses. I’m so excited to make them! Clothes that fit perfectly look and feel so good. And also I can make them how I want as far as color, weight, and texture go. I’m so glad I know how to sew.

[amber-werewolf]

I’d like to dye our body’s hair the color of my hair. However, our host wants to keep our hair natural. Dyeing it black would also be annoying because of it staining towels, damaging my hair, and having to wash it in cold water. My hair is short though so if I don’t like it, it won’t take long to grow out. Our host tells me no every time I suggest it. It’s not that big of a deal, but it reminds me how I don’t have as much agency over my body than I would as a singlet.

[amber-werewolf]

Ugh, even though it’s a bad time I really want to date. We’re going through a lot right now, but I feel so good. I feel better about myself than I ever have. I’ve come so far from when I felt trapped and hated myself.

It always seems like it’s a bad time to date. It always seems like there’s something going on that makes it a bad idea to start a new relationship. I’ve become a person I love, and I want to share myself with someone. Even if it’s a bad time, maybe it’s better to just go for it. Maybe a good time will never come, and I just need to stop waiting.

It’s almost pride month, so it’ll be easier to find queer girls at pride events. There’s multiple events happening throughout June and also July. I think I’m going to take a chance and put myself out there.

[amber-werewolf]

I got myself some new clothes today! Unfortunately I didn’t find much I really really liked at the goodwill. My sister doesn’t like the four things I got. I hope more feminine clothing will make me feel even better.

[amber-werewolf]

I love girls. I’m a lesbian, so even though our host is bisexual, we only date girls. We call ourselves genderfluid because we have different genders.

Sometimes I’m afraid no one will want me because of the genderfluid asexual lesbian thing. Plus the plural thing. I think there’s someone out there for me though.

[amber-werewolf]

I love being myself so much! I’ve never been so self-expressive before. I’ve been wearing outfits I actually like, experimenting with makeup, even using my own name at the queer youth group I go to! I feel so good about myself these days. I feel so pretty and confident. I can’t wait to go clothes shopping because I have a limited number of girl’s clothes.

When I was finally able to be my authentic self, I stopped hating myself and being so angry. Being yourself is awesome 10/10 would recommend if it’s safe for you.

[lumianaroseye]

Are any fellow alterhumans also heavily affected by music? The right song will just kick me into a form in no time like "Oh, that song is awesome... why do I have wings now?"

[undercover-werewolf-k1d]

I remeb had a (faint) full body phantom shift and a strong mental shift the first time I listened to The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy

Also basically every song from The Score makes me prone to shift

[amber-werewolf]

Yes, I often shift to songs about werewolves. They make me visualize myself in my shifted form and then I shift. Wolf Like Me and Werewolf Gimmick are the ones that most often trigger shifts, but occasionally it’s Gay Werewolf Murder Ballad or another song.

[shirecorn]

Wrestling a werewolf right at the beginning of their turning because you know this is their favorite sweater and theyre about to rip it to shreds like the world's worst "GIVE ME THAT DROP IT" race against time but it's for their own good

[amber-werewolf]

Had a really weird experience just now. I was listening to Werewolf Gimmick by The Mountain Goats and I started shifting sort of. It felt like I needed to transform. I got waves of something trying to push its way out and it coursed through my body. Of course my human body can’t physically transform, but it wanted to so so bad. These waves weren’t exactly painful, but deeply uncomfortable because there was no release of the fur coming through and my tendons lengthening or tightening and my snout growing out. My I was breathing heavily and my whole body was tense. I felt like if I just pushed a little harder I could transform, but I’ll never be able to physically shift.

[amber-werewolf]

I’ve been having thoughts. I live in a body that is treated as male by the people who know us. We often bind, we dress in masculine clothing, we use he/him pronouns, and this is because our host is a trans boy.

I’m a girl, and I really don’t like this. Sure, as far as girls go I’m not the most feminine, but I still don’t like being treated as a boy. I know I’ve never been raised as a boy in our earlier years, but then again, I didn’t really have a childhood at all. I wonder if I would qualify as transfem.

I do experience gender dysphoria, I do live in a body that is treated as male, I am called by a name that isn’t mine, but I live in a female body that hasn’t gone on T. I don’t know. I guess it probably isn’t worth it exploring a label that is controversial and probably won’t accomplish anything. I’m still curious about your thoughts though.

[amber-werewolf]

I really want some good werewolf books to read. I’ll still poke around my school library and see what they have, but that’s not too reliable for good books. I’d like some books from the perspective of the werewolf. I don’t care if it’s a struggling with the beast within story or an embracing the beast within story. Or perhaps something else? I just want a good read that has someone like me.

[amber-werewolf]

I fronted all day today. It was fun, but exhausting. I’ll add to this later when I’m not so tired

[sleepingboar]

"monster"

[adolfusraptor1985-deactivated20]

Face rev? Sorta?

Woof woof.