Hows all my little angels?

22. Nurse by profession, chef by heart ❤️

[a-quiet-green-agreement]

–Emily Dickinson

[donnasweettttttttt]

[frikiskrew]

[groovymum]

they’re going to be mcfreakin sorry now

[cofficionado]

[jvlioo]

“Girl you think I give a fuck about this job. I don’t want this job, I want you.”

- Barack Obama

[getcultured-deactivated20201101]

Big dick energy

[licensetocannibalize]

really hope bryan fuller updates his fanfic soon

[marxistmandalorian]

his WHAT

[licensetocannibalize]

his fanfic, the series nbc hannibal

[coder-avatar-star]

I’m livid

[crewdlydrawn-deactivated2022072]

That is the most Goldblumiest thing to say. I believe it.

[animusrox]

[hobbit-hole]

if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win

[hobbit-hole]

all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he’s like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit

legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener, merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they’ve gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don’t think i could take him without magic even if he IS old because he’s a very large guy, but maybe

it would be my knuckles against Frodo’s baby soft poet hands, plus i’ve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn’t real so he can’t offer a rebuttal to my claim

[penny-anna]

you’re absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D:

[hobbit-hole]

this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he’s too polite to do that because it’s a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty

[penny-anna]

for someone who doesn’t want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo……….

[animate-mush]

OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.

First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won’t be fighting your conscience at the same time.

Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He’s no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that’s comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he’s not a fighter.

Also there’s a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn’t enough if a curse by itself).

And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you’ll deserve it, you monster)

[penny-anna]

Also: if you fight Frodo you’ll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on.

[westrons-deactivated20200930]

Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir.

[feynites]

So here’s the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship, which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you’ll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you’ll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh.

So here’s what you do:

You fight Legolas.

The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you’re gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimli, so once the challenge is issued, he’s not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus!

Anyway.

Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he’s also already convinced you’re weaker than him anyway because you’re not an elf, so he’s gonna go kind of easy on you. And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here’s the key thing:

You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince.

That’s a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener, yeah?

[icescrabblerjerky]

okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here.

[luxgalador]

OP: gets beat up by a shirtless Legolas who proceeds to act snide and superior

Me:

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

When will banksy

[briarin]

When will anonymous

[luzialowe]

always reblog, this is fucking activism folks

[digitaldiscipline]

if you don’t have access to poorly-secured and un-backed-up debt records, you can help do this via legitimate means by donating to rollingjubilee.org - they buy debt (the way debt collectors do, for steeply discounted prices - like $20 to buy $500 in outstanding debt owed by someone) and just… forgive it, so it doesn’t need to be paid by the person on whom it’s a burden.

[kuttithevangu]

The Rolling Jubilee is no longer accepting donations, they’ve moved their operations to https://debtcollective.org/ which looks like somewhat of a broader project for collective action and education 

[carrionbeast]

Halloween is almost over. You know what that means!

MOTHER

FUCKIN

HANUKKAH 

SEASON

YEAH!

[phycorb]

To all my Jewish followers: Happy Hanukkah!!

[theansweris-a]

Okay but

This is actually something I haven’t seen before, someone so excited about Hanukkah

It’s great to see!!

[dopeluminarydreamer-blog]

Great Hanukkah to my Jewish followers and mutuals

[neenarchive]

shoutout to all the people in retail and distribution working this black friday

[sparreauxchirps]

I just learned the origin of pink lemonade and I need you all to hear this.

So this dude selling concessions at a circus back in like 1857 ran out of lemonade and he needed water to make more, but there wasn’t a stream or water pump, BUT the BAREBACK HORSE RIDER had just washed her pink tights in a bucket of water, staining the water pink. So, being the enterprising fella he was, dude just threw in the lemons and sugar and told everyone it was special strawberry lemonade. Well, the circus patrons saw pink lemonade and thought, “That’s fucking amazing!” and he ended up selling twice as much lemonade than usual.

To reiterate.

This dude sold people sweaty horse crotch water and it was so popular it became an Actual Fucking Thing.

DELICIOUS.

[ct-7567]

Thats pussy babe!

[jehovahhthickness]

[geekinglikeaboss]

The BIGGEST dick energy.

[girlslovegamestoo]

Women of Steel

[cravencur]

deep, heavy breathing

[nudiemuse]

Give me armour and let me kill some shit.

[americanhobbit-deactivated20150]

pay special attention to the lack of boob cups and thank you

[woodbecca]

Oh look, no plate or chain mail bikinis

[atouchhereandthere]

DIY superhero lamp

[slow-riot-deactivated20200720]

Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil

[tramampoline]

its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

[catparazzi]

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

[awfullydull-deactivated20170619]

FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS

AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT

DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER

FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY *Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe

1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)

1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)

½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.) After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.

[madsciences]

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

[ghostoftwentysomethingspast]

WHAT Thank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!

[legallynonbinary]

Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.

Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.

Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.

Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)

Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.

[legallynonbinary]

I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.

[polar-academia-deactivated20230]

I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one

[marsixm]

me: *holds up a strip of paper that says TWIN PEAKS* me: *folds the paper together until it just says TWINKS* [x files music plays]

[paranetics]

Please fucking bring back vine I’m so sick of reading these posts because I swear I can see them.

[thatdisasterauthor]

Good tweet is good.

[nzssa-deactivated20190420]