jacque :)

someone just asked me, in 2023, if I had a tumblr blog and I have never felt more exposed

[taylorswift]

It’s a *Toy* Story 🤠

You knew it! My new original song “I Knew It, I Knew You” for Disney and Pixar’s Toy Story 5 will be yours on June 5th. I’ve always dreamed of getting to write for these characters who I’ve adored since I was a 5 year old kid watching the first Toy Story movie. I fell instantly in love with Toy Story 5 when I was lucky enough to see it in its early stages, and I wrote this song as soon as I got home from the screening. Sometimes you just know, right?

You can pre-order now exclusively on my site and catch Toy Story 5 in theaters June 19th ☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

[wizardarchetypes]

i’m afraid i wouldn’t …

[wizardarchetypes]

my inability to act will haunt me

[meanbuddhist]

you may find me having intense spiritual breakthroughs and revelations just to completely forget about them one week later don’t worry about me i am on my path

[targetedknowledge]

[throathole]

The way that this is just my post put on a picture of Christian Bale for some reason. Okay

[originalmalewhore]

[throathole]

THIS CAN’T KEEP HAPPENING!!!!

[taylorswift]

My favorite part about writing is that first spark of an idea. It can happen at any time, for any reason. The idea for the Opalite music video crash landed into my imagination when I was doing promo for The Life of a Showgirl. I was a guest on one of my favorite shows, The Graham Norton Show. For those of you who aren’t familiar, it’s a UK late night show where Graham Norton (the insanely charismatic and lovable host) invites a random group of actors, entertainers, musicians, etc to be on his show and we all sit there and chat like it’s a dinner party. They even serve wine. Anyway. I remember thinking I got ridiculously lucky with the group I was paired with. Cillian Murphy, Domhnall Gleeson, Greta Lee, Jodie Turner-Smith, and Lewis Capaldi. All people whose work I’ve admired from afar. When we were all talking during the broadcast, Domhnall made a light hearted joke about wanting to be in one of my music videos. He’s Irish! He was joking! Except that in that moment during the interview, I was instantly struck with an *idea*. And so a week later he received an email script I’d written for the Opalite video, where he was playing the starring role. I had this thought that it would be wild if all of our fellow guests on the Graham Norton show that night, including Graham himself, could be a part of it too. Like a school group project but for adults and it isn’t mandatory. To my delight, everyone from the show made the effort to time travel back to the 90’s with us and help with this video. You might even recognize some friendly faces from The Eras Tour. I got to work with one of my favorite people in the world, Rodrigo Prieto, again! I had more fun than I ever imagined - Made new friends, metaphors, and fashion choices. It was an absolute thrill to create this story and these characters. Shot on film. The Opalite video is out now on Spotify & Apple Music. 

https://taylor.lnk.to/OpaliteMusicVideo

[spaghettiwoman46]

Ugh they are always doing this

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Little freaks

[corporationsarepeople]

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

guy who watches anime: I'm a weirdo

guy who believes in the divine right of kings: I'm normal

[retroactivebakeries]

[heedra]

the football is an egg that needs to be incubated in the strong warm arms of players and tossed around violently by the strong warm arms of players and kicked by their strong warm legs to develop properly. and whoever wins the super bowl, their quarterback, gets to sit on the egg when it hatches so the young warbeast inside will imprint on them as its mama.

[karrakazz]

lydia tell me more about sports

[heedra]

if you look at a football stadium from above, it kind of looks like a giant cephalopoid eye and that's because it is.

[strongermonster]

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

[strongermonster]

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

[strongermonster]

my artists rendition of the morning in question

[herssian]

"there is no way you're not using chatgpt for at least a few things here and there no matter your stance on it" what the FUCK are you talking about

[theglasscat]

what you need to understand is that textile work is basically the closest i have seen to Real Magic and the reason old ladies in quilting spaces are either the grumpiest or the most whacky cheerful people you'll ever meet is because they're basically wizards who have studied the ancient crafts too long

[antique-scarecrow]

"knitting circle" ma'am that's a coven

[goshkanani]

[geocaprican]

[cartoonscientist]

things chronically outside people say:

“wait! gotta put on my sunscreen” [you’re about to walk to 7/11]

“tick season, tuck your pants”

“you know, tick season just keeps getting longer and longer with climate change”

“why didn’t you have your knife with you?”

[knocks their shoes on the sidewalk and fifty pounds of dirt clods fall off]

[going into the rain without an umbrella] “I mean, you’re gonna get wet eventually, right?”

“I hear the rockhounding in this part of the county is INSANE”

“it rained last night, and you know what that means: MUSHROOMS”

[niftyanswersorryiasked]

do you think that when the big arm on the trash truck aggressively grabs the trash can on the curb and dumps it into the truck that it's like a little sexual for the trash can

[niftyanswersorryiasked]

brother why would i want twice as many people to see this

[portraitoftheoddity]

choke me harder, daddy.

[mikkeneko]

[podcastwizard]

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

[dogpuppy]

r/decks is greats “you already know what’s up top”