Amused Duer

What better companion in life than a feathery friend who gives just as many fucks as you.

[nega-spark]

[carldangerous]

This really cool and then I turned the sound on and now I am… unsettled

[geekremix]

u shut ur mouth this was great

[raggedcompany-deactivated201804]

@blackcatsandbonfires  Eggnog says, “Hi.” 

[birdymcbirdface]

Not to be overdramatic, but I would die for eggnog

[raggedcompany-deactivated201804]

@blackcatsandbonfires  Eggnog says, “Hi.” 

[birdymcbirdface]

Not to be overdramatic, but I would die for eggnog

[amusedduer]

Just another day at uni

[glassbonespaperskin]

😏

[amusedduer]

[archiemcphee]

Beginning last summer Twitter user @fuguhitman began illustrating his personal backlog of bird-bread puns. His first starchy birb was the Sparroll and he claims to have at least 20 to work through. With 9 completed thus far, we have one question for him: why did you wait so long to share these works of punny goodness with the world?

Follow @fuguhitman on Twitter to make sure you don’t miss out on the rest of the breadbird flock and little bonus birbs such as this chocolate chick cookie:

[via NOTCOT.]

[saynotodyedflowers]

@copperbadge

[copperbadge]

SO MANY BIRD PUNS

[amusedduer]

To cute!!!

[pepperandpals]

You have to see this anime called Inko Colors. This is so cute and I’m gonna die and I need subtitles or a dub or something please bring this to the US!

[chirpasaurus]

Translator here (but not of anime) and I love Birbs too

I don’t have time to do the complete dialogue but the gist is: The main characters have a club (the titular “inko colours” = Parakeet Colours) and they’re hanging out talking about what to do today (”The crows have been loud. Don’t go to the train station”) when the sparrow shows up and tells them about a frightened birb.

They go over and try to lure out the scaredybirb (Fuuta, the budgie with no scarf) by looking like they’re having so much fun that he can’t help joining them, just like the story about “That one god who holed up in a cave until he other gods threw a party and she couldn’t help but join them”.

Their first try - the sparrow dance - doesn’t work (”because that was too weird”) but the second - tickling each other - does, and Fuuta comes out.

Turns out Fuuta is lost so the Colours decide to help him get home. They fly around searching but have no luck since Fuuta’s description is so vague (”How can you expect anyone to know what their own roof looks like?”), but then Fuuta remembers about the orange tree in the yard that his young human fed him fruit from.

That clue is enough so they find it and save the day :D

[pepperandpals]

!!!! Thank you!

[amusedduer]

I must watch this!!!

[memehumor]

Arnold Schwarzenegger went full Terminator on a troll who mocked the Special Olympics.

[jackbootedfucks]

I DIDNT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF JAAL. JAAL'S NOT GON GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME.

[i-phones-deactivated20230702]

Beats to help you relax/study

[tastefullyoffensive]

[amusedduer]

Geographically Impaired Roommate

Today in one of our lovely conversations, my roommate asked me where Birmingham is, as she’s “never been” -

Me: ... You’ve been to Birmingham - we went 2 years ago to that photography convention.

Roommate: did we?!

Me:.... did you just get onto a train with me, without actually knowing where we were going?!

Roommate: You seemed to know what you were doing so I just kind of followed you!

Anyone else have a friend like this?

[amusedduer]

Me after sharing an old and overused joke between me and my roommate: You know, I will miss the old jokes we have when we move out and the new ones that won't be made.

Roommate: Yeah... or we can just go to the same care home.

Me: God no.

Roommate: I will put that in my will.

(Moment of silence)

Roommate: Wait I will be dead!

[litegoth-deactivated20170521]

[amusedduer]

So sweet!

[moonpiethecockatiel]

Learning is my favorite

[birbfriends]

I couldn’t bring Mochi, he’d flirt with everyone’s feets and scream.

[amusedduer]

I want someone from my uni to bring their birb to a lecture!

[amusedduer]

When discussing how only imbeciles break their little toes to a friend who had done just that my roommate cuts in saying that it is fine, AmusedDuer has also broken her toes. I don't remember ever saying that I had broken my toes to @eager-teigr so I proceeded to stare at my toes to see if they looked weird, later realising I don't look at other people's feet enough to know what looks weird and what doesn't. I texted the roomie to ask how she knew and her only response was: "We have lived together for two years." That's a fair point I suppose.

[amusedduer]

That awkward moment when you thrust your boobs towards your roommates face whilst demonstrating how you opened the bathroom door. (For context I am on crutches)