MASTERPOST
(so I can keep track with what I'm doing)
#favourite fics
#rare times that I say smth
#fav movies
#fav comics
One Nice Bug Per Day
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
NASA
Keni
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

pixel skylines
No title available
Monterey Bay Aquarium
hello vonnie

Game Changer & Make Some Noise

ellievsbear
todays bird
Color Me Curious
No title available
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
ojovivo
art blog(derogatory)
macklin celebrini has autism
Doug Jones

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@anantisocialgirl
MASTERPOST
(so I can keep track with what I'm doing)
#favourite fics
#rare times that I say smth
#fav movies
#fav comics
unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.
but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.
like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.
Baby Fever
"If somewhere there is a heaven, this is as close as I will get"
The Kraang survivor. Happy content on IV and full of love and affection.
Not to write fic about my own fic, but right now I'm obsessed with Joshua Kane (Marcus' partner) getting traded to the Metros post-Cottage/Jane reveal in the chat.
As a friend of Ilya's and a queer man himself, and because Hollanov didn't want Marcus to have to keep this a secret from his partner, Josh is one of the few people In The Know.
One person who doesn't know? Hayden.
So imagine Hayden's surprise when this random defenseman transfers from the Raiders (Montreal's sworn enemies) and Shane (notoriously slow to warm up to people and resistant to being befriended) starts acting like they're already best friends. Shane talks to him in the locker room, asks to see pictures of his cat, appears to have inside jokes with him, is helping him get settled in Montreal, ect. He even knows about Lily.
Hayden is so jealous that this rando has seemingly swooped in and stolen his best friend. Shane doesn't notice. Josh notices, thinks it's kind of funny, and is messaging Marcus about it 24/7 (Marcus is still in Boston bc QPP's don't get work visas for Canada when their partner abruptly gets traded).
Then Shane comes out to him and Hayden is like "OOOOH so you have a crush on Kane?" and Shane has to break the news that while his type is hockey player, he's dating a different one.
"His partner has dibs on being our third if me and Ilya ever want to have a threesome though."
Way down the line, when they're leading Ottawa to another Stanley Cup, Ilya gets slammed too too hard by some eager new player. He's knocked unconscious and Shane practically flies from the box to the ice, watching as the EMTs intervene and carry him out on a stretcher.
Yuna goes in the ambulance with Ilya — Shane can't get out of his skates fast enough to run over in time, so he drives a few minutes behind them — and she calls Shane to keep him updated. It's fine, it's all fine, Ilya is already semi conscious and talking to them both. Shane's mind goes to all of the worst places anyway.
They lose service when they get in the elevator, but Yuna still sends out a text message with the room number. Shane speeds faster and then bolts through the hospital.
When he finally sees Ilya, minutes later, already in a blue hospital gown and connected to an IV but conscious and beaming up at him, Shane breaks into tears.
"Don't cry, solnyshko," Ilya says. "Come here," he holds out the hand that's free from the needles and Shane takes it.
"I have something important to ask you," Ilya tells him. It suddenly feels so serious. Shane's heart drops.
"Will you come to my cottage this summer?" Ilya says in a sing-songy voice, using his best Canadian accent. "Don't go to Russia. Come to my house, we'll have so much fun..."
Shane laughs. "You remember that?"
"Every fucking word."
after his shower, shane joins ilya on the couch for movie night, hair still wet
ilya pulls shane into his side and turns his head to breathe in the smell of his freshly washed husband.
he inhales into shane’s neck and shane giggles at the ticklish feeling. but something is different—ilya pulls away immediately
“you smell weird”
“oh. mom got me some new shampoo and body wash”
“why does it smell like that?”
“it’s cinnamon,” shane says casually, then glances over at ilya curiously. “why, do you not like it?”
ilya huffs in discontent and they watch their movie
——
the next morning, ilya awakens with shane draped over his chest. ilya leans in to plant a kiss on shane’s head. he pulls back immediately with disgust.
ugh. cinnamon.
——
the next day, ilya is out at a restaurant with troy and harris. shane is meeting them after his personal training session.
shane walks in, and ilya stands up to give him a kiss, and immediately recoils with a wrinkled nose
“what?” shane asks
“cinnamon.” ilya death glares. shane just laughs and laughs at his husband’s expression
——
this goes on for a week—ilya forgetting about the new shampoo and then complaining when he gets a wiff.
eventually, ilya takes to hiding the shampoo & soap so shane can’t use it. shane usually easily locates his hiding spots and finds ilya’s one-sided feud with the bath products amusing
until finally, one day, ilya can’t take it anymore. he’s crawling into bed after shane’s shower with tears in his eyes. “shane please i can’t take it anymore. i hate the cinnamon so much. it’s spicy and it burns my nose”
shane takes pity on him and goes back to his seaweed shampoo, but keeps the cinnamon in case he ever wants to play a prank on ilya again.
yuna gets a text the next day from her son-in-law: “do not ever. buy cinnamon shampoo again.” yuna screenshots it and sends it to shane and they both crack up and never let ilya live it down
shane and ilya spending the day at shane’s parents house. both went to shane’s childhood bedroom to take a nap after lunch but ilya woke up first and went to living room to make company to david. shane woke a while later and still sleepy and wrapped in the blanket and went straight to where ilya were seated and lied on top of him and whispered “you did not wake me up to come with you. you left me by myself there” and he hid his face in the crook of ilya’s neck and his breath got deep again and david chuckled and said “he was exactly like this when he was a kid. he hated to wake up alone after a nap. our shanebug never changed” and ilya repeats adjusting his husband’s body who had fallen asleep again in his lap and giving him a gentle squeeze “shanebug?” and david explained “that’s his childhood nickname, he always had so many freckles just like a ladybug spots, but he hated that nickname after he grew up, but yuna and i keep calling him that way in private when we’re talking about him” and ilya smirking mischievously “but why would our shanebug hate this… how is it called?” he asked david “a term of endearment?” david suggested and ilya continued “that’s right term of endearment, i’m sure he’ll come to love being called that again now he’s a grown man”. spoiler alert he didn’t but he can’t never be mad at ilya for more than 5 minutes
When people point out that all of Shane’s fears come true in TLG, they don’t mention how his fear of losing Ilya also almost comes true. There is a reason why he doesn’t let Ilya drive his sports cars or let him smoke anymore in TLG. Literally one of Shane’s biggest fears is losing Ilya (be it Ilya breaking up with him or Ilya dying). The fact that Shane almost loses Ilya in a fucking plane crash is so important, because it changes Shane’s perspective on their plan entirely and he realises that staying in the closet isn’t sustainable anymore. This is why he immediately proposes to Ilya after.
It was common knowledge between Timbit league coaches, premium menswear brands, and the MHL, that there was not much that could deter Yuna Hollander from a task.
She loved having a task, she excelled at having a task.
Her current task, while with a bit more moving parts than others, was her most interesting task since Shane was 4 and Get Him into the MHL slotted into her mind. This task was a curly haired Russian, that she spent the better part of the decade indignantly annoyed at, sitting in her living room looking through a baby photo album with her husband while her red-faced son pointedly watched an uninteresting rerun game on the television.
She leaned against the doorframe, allowing herself a moment to enjoy something she was starting to worry she would never have - Shane with a partner. Over the years, her vision of her son’s future shifted from him and hockey-loving, kind wife to him with a husband. But never could she have thought Rozanov would be that husband. Not that they were husbands - apparently they were only boyfriends as of a few days ago.
Still, she always joked to her friends that Shane was married to hockey. His hockey rival and second best player in the league was probably as close as he could legally get to marrying hockey.
She must have let out a small laugh that Shane misinterpreted as being directed at David showing Ilya photos of his fifth halloween - the first one where he was old enough to choose his own outfit. And, exactly two months after he started playing hockey.
“Mom!” He whined. ‘Fully grown adult’ her ass.
“Yes, honey?”
“A hockey player, Hollander?” Ilya teased, delight shining through his features.
“Not just any player,” he grumbled.
“You’ll never guess what he was next year.”
“Not the same one!” Shane protested. Ilya must not have realized that he stumbled into a decades long argument that no, Shane, dressing up as different hockey players is not a different costume.
Eventually the conversation transitioned into dinner. After it was decided there wasn’t much at the house, and they couldn’t go out with Ilya with them, something that sent a little pang of hurt through Yuna’s chest, they all got on their various food delivery apps to look for a suitable place.
Then eventually settled on a sushi-fusion restaurant that Ilya found and his phone was passed around for everyone to place their orders.
When Ilya got his phone back, Shane leaned over and asked, “how much is mine and my parents?”
Ilya scoffed, a little insulted. Though he shouldn’t be, Yuna considered, Shane had always had a very rigid sense of fairness and would get upset if he thought something was unfair. A lot of people found it annoying. Yuna found it incredibly sweet.
“I am worth 12 million dollars, Hollander, I think I can afford DoorDash.”
“12 million?” Yuna’s eyebrows shot up. Because, what. That couldn't be his total net worth, could it?
“Yes, I am very rich.”
“No, that’s…” she trailed off. “What are you spending so much money on?”
“Jesus mom, you can’t just ask that.”
“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable question. Between his MHL salary and sponsorships, that’s low.”
“That is low?” Ilya looked at Shane. “How much money do you have in bank?”
Shane groaned. “You’re as bad as her. And most of my assets are tied up in investments and stocks.”
Ilya had a blank look. “Okay.”
“Ilya, do you have a financial advisor?” Yuna asked. “Or a wealth manager?”
“I think so?”
Yuna clicks her tongue. Task.
“Shane’s net worth is public information - he’s worth about 120 million. He has about an eighth of that in liquid assets - money in the bank.”
“You really have that much money?”
“He’s the highest paid player in the league,” Yuna said with no small amount of pride. She did negotiate a ground breaking 8 year 50 million dollar contract after his rookie season. “He also has nine premium sponsors, not to mention his investment portfolio. You should be nearly at that too - you two have had very similar careers.”
“Hmm,” Ilya shrugged and turned to her son. “Is okay, you can be my - what is the word, sugar daddy?”
“Never say that again.”
“Anyway,” Yuna continued. “I can send you some recommendations for an advisor. I mean, it's your money of course, but it can go fast. Especially with how early hockey players generally retire. Or if you get injured, god forbid.”
“No, it’s,” Ilya shifted in his seat, eyes cutting to Shane. “That is good. You can send advisor details. Thank you.”
“Of course,” Yuna dismissed. Ilya thanked them much too often. But it didn’t feel performative. It felt genuine.
~*~*~*~
Eventually, Yuna got an opportunity to sit down with Ilya and his new financial advisor. He had asked her, somewhat shyly, if she would attend their meeting. Now that he and Shane were out, he had decided to take her up on the new advisor. But, as he told her, he was still not so good at English business terms.
She had felt so warm that he asked her.
She felt a little less warm that he asked her not to tell Shane what they were doing. As far as Shane knew, they were getting lunch.
She understood when she started looking over the documents the new advisor laid out for them.
Anger, hot and uncomfortable rose up in her chest. But she pushed it down because that was not what Ilya needed. Ilya, who was sitting with his arms crossed, not looking at either of them. A faint blush on his cheeks.
Because his very limited investment assets were barely four years old. For the first five years of his career, he had sent nearly everything back home. There were payments to his father, his brother, his step-mother. Trusts for his niece and his step-mother’s children. There was a house bought in an uncle’s name. There was a private school for his niece. There were random wire transactions to his brother for odd amounts - 20k, 15k, 56k. There were even salaries paid to private chefs and house cleaners. There was a weird split of money between Russian and American banks.
What wasn’t sent back was spent on severely depreciating assets like sports cars. Rounds of alcohol at bars and clubs. Thousands of dollars spent on random Amazon purchases, designer clothes, etc. His Boston house with a criminally high interest rate. He hadn’t even bought it outright, even though he had plenty of money to do so. He had maxed out credit cards with debt he would wipe out today and not even feel it.
His liquid assets, which were basically his only assets, weren’t even in a high yield account. At least, not as high yielding as it could be.
He was almost living paycheck-to-paycheck in a very rich way. More like contract to contract. He would exhaust his 8 million dollar/2 year contract and then sign another one. His contracts, too. They were much lower and shorter than Yuna would ever allow her son to have with his stats and experience.
His financial history read very much like an 18 year old boy who had been thrown into a foreign city, with a language he wasn’t totally familiar with, and no one with his best financial interests at heart. Only a family that wanted to exploit him and a new team he desperately wanted to impress.
But Yuna pushed all that away, shook it off, and considered the plan. “This is a great starting place.”
Both Ilya and the advisor’s eyes shot to hers but she refused to back down, leveling the advisor with a hard look.
“It is?” Ilya asked.
“Of course,” Yuna gathered up a few documents. “You have 17 million dollars in liquid assets. You have a great contract with the Cens for three more years. That’s a much better starting point than the vast majority of people.”
“Not as good as Shane,” Ilya pointed out.
“No,” Yuna agreed with a little smile. “But if you go broke, I’m sure Shane will let you be his sugar baby.”
One thing I've been thinking about recently is that the Metros were holding Shane back. The Admirals holding Hunter back makes sense, in an oh shit he's going to kill this kid way. But the Metros holding Shane back? Shane who never fights? Shane who is a known peacemaker? Maybe the argument can be made they wanted to protect him from getting hurt/getting fined but, Shane is their captain, if he wants to fight, a fight there shall be.
Unless.
You consider that the Metros know that Shane absolutely does know how to fight. They've all done checking clinics with Shane. They've all wrestled and roughhoused with Shane. He's strong and he's fast and he wants to win.
The Metros understand that Shane doesn't fight, not because he can't, but because he's a little too good at it. And Shane generally doesn't even like violence. He likes to win by playing the game, not hurting the other team.
So when they see Shane, after the whistle, drop his gloves to Scott Hunter, there is a collective thought of oh shit he's going to kill Hunter and they have approximately 1.5 seconds to grab their captain and prevent him from getting arrested.
it's like 199 degrees‼️🥵
Hey, Lily…
Alastor drawings inspired by the extraordinary robert ‘silk’ mason
i have an extremely beautiful scene in my mind of shane at home on their couch with ilya's head on one thigh and anya's head on the other and providing simultaneous head scritches and having to try SO hard not to laugh when pausing gets him non-verbal complaints from BOTH of them
he pauses once just because it's funny and gets ilya's hand tapping his knee at the same time it gets him anya swatting the air with her paw in the direction of his hand, and there are TEARS in his eyes resisting the urge to laugh as he resumes because he doesn't want to break the softness of this moment even though it's also objectively hilarious to be part of
i do love and respect the idea of the world at large being stunned at finding out how long ilya and shane have been together, but i truly think that under NO circumstances would shane ever choose to offer ANY personal details about himself or their relationship willingly.
which combined with ilya loving just making things up and saying them (as seen in the "yes, the rumors are true-" scene) offers the very funny idea that ilya actively tries to offer as much privacy as possible by just throwing out stories about them at random so there IS no central story for people to hound shane about.
assorted backstories a la "ilya just started talking and found out with everyone else where he was going with this":
they got snowed in at all stars one year (b-but wasn't that year in florida?) and decided there was nothing better to do
it started as a bit and neither is willing to give up first
they paired off to combine forces like nato
they paired off to limit how many kids they could have in the future to make sure hockey stayed fair
ilya lost a bet six years ago
shane lost a bet three years ago
ilya got tired of remembering phone numbers for his hookups and shane's is easy
ilya got tired of having to look things up in english and french when talking to other people and decide to marry someone who speaks two languages to save time
shane is gifted enough (wink wink wink) that other people are cowards and only ilya was brave enough to rise to the challenge (this one gets him in trouble on the phone later but it also gets him laid that night at home and also confuses the online speculation about who tops and bottoms, so net positive tbh)
yuna hollander is the best manager in the business and a political marriage was the best way to secure her services longterm
with the end result that all shane has to do is shrug and "my husband has already told our story a thousand times by this point. no point in repeating it and boring people." in interviews to get out of people trying to dig into things he doesn't want to tell them.
Ilya’s chuckles stopped as he took the photo. His breath caught. The picture: a round-cheeked Shane, a shy grin as he leaned into the side of a woman. A woman who Ilya had not seen since he was twelve, her wild hair and strong nose, her dimpled smile and shiny coat, her fingers behind Shane’s head—bunny ears. It wasn’t possible. But there she was, in all her glory: Irina.
read the fic Small Serendipity by @himbotheninth which made me cry Real Human Tears where a young shane is found in the airport by irina and i just had to draw some of it :3
bonus irina+shane without text under the cut