Sail Your Seas

Mikhala. 26. Married. Mommy to an angel baby. Mommy to Max. Homebirth-having, babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering kinda crunchy mom. Virginia Living. Married to my high school sweetheart.

[anchorthroughthestorms]

Adding another babe.

[falseknees]

Forgot to post this a couple weeks ago!

[anchorthroughthestorms]

My best friend starts chemo tomorrow. I’m scared and sad and angry and sad and scared

[vajeentambourine]

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

[theworldisfulloffloozies]

wow.

[lavahag-deactivated20190627]

I so needed this after spending three days with my mom.

[halfbakedidea]

Wow, this is basically 100% me and my parents. 

[jewlesthemagnificent-deactivate]

I need to print this out and frame it I think. Especially the “haven’t processed trauma/modeling behaviors” part. Woo. That is dead fucking on.

[growingracealways]

Whoa whoa. whoa.

[anchorthroughthestorms]

After 41 weeks and 5 days, we decided to nudge the baby to come out.

A dose of castor eggs followed by a nap was prescribed. I took the eggs at 1pm, and had lots of diarrhea but no contraction. At 450, I was discussing with my midwife if I would or should take another dose, and we decided to wait another hour. At 4:59, my water broke. I was on the phone with my midwife for ten minutes and I had my first contraction. We hung up, and said we’d be in touch. After that, I had steady contractions, one right after another. I started throwing up and I knew I had hit transition. My midwife started my way at 5:20.

Evan called our friend to get Max, and she came and picked him up. I had called my doula and photographer around 515. Everyone was on their way. I had Evan call the midwife to see if we could start filling up the pool. They said heat but DONT GET IN YET. I got in the shower and used the shower head with cold water to massage my stomach. My contractions were slamming one right after another. All of a sudden, I felt the urge to push. I instinctively put my hand down and I felt him crowning. I was still pushing and Evan called the midwife. His head came out. I leaned forward a bit, then the rest of his body. He was born at 5:45pm. So from water breaking to full blown birth, 45 minutes had passed. From the first real contraction, 30-35 minutes had passed.

Evan helped guide him out and catch him. He passed him to me, and I instinctively sucked the stuff out of his nose and mouth with my mouth. We were on the phone with the midwife And then He cried immediately and was very pink by the time the midwife arrived. He was and still is extremely healthy!

Alexander

10lb 4oz

21in long

5:45pm

July 29, 2020

[magooni]

To anyone who is feeling sad or anxious about the deadly virus going around or the indefinite break in taking college classes at your university as a necessary precaution, here is a video of my idiot cat

[anchorthroughthestorms]

Pregnancy is weird. The body and mind are weird.

[falseknees]

I love you have a comic

[niggazinmoscow]

these companies that test patience don’t end up paying people what they are worth

[xmagnet-o]

Yeah employers who do this are incredibly inconsiderate and unprofessional.

This is not a “test of patience”. This is of abuse and manipulation.

I would never want to work for a company/business who thinks my life is a joke

[tattoosbyanya]

I would have left by 7:15

[anchorthroughthestorms]

First trimester is a mind fuck

[anchorthroughthestorms]

[anchorthroughthestorms]

Looks like #2 is coming 😍 tumblr knows first

[showerthoughtsofficial]

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start

[ourladyofrebellion]

I feel so called out and yet so understood.

[bookcub]

Gonna start a post with blank memes. Please add any you have on hand and reblog to spread them.

[antique-scarecrow]

very good content

[werewolf-cuddles]

Here’s a few I’ve accumulated over the years

[fairyofsomething]

Ah, some gold!

[glixbitch]

Omfg, a goldmine

[chaoticgouda]

@estheticallypleased

[evilyaoii]

[retrojezter]

[faebeebaby-deactivated20200509]

[fairyblue-alchemist]

This is a blessing look at all of these templates

[flukeoffate]

All those posts about memes being their own language? This is the alphabet.

[bizarre-transmission-deactivate]

blank memes

[moggiepillar]

i can no longer take any description of a male protagonist seriously if the writer describes him as ‘brooding’

because i used to think ‘oh, that’s sexy and mysterious, etc’

and now i think of this

once you’ve been loudly cussed out by 2.5 lbs of feathers, that word only ever means one thing

[shrikestrike]

This is the kinda brooding i WANNA see

[consolecadet]

#so this behavior basically translates to nonstop cuddling of offspring and vocal aggression towards anything that tries to prevent that #tbh i would be delighted to see male protagonists do just this sort of thing (via starfoozle)

[perspicaciousembroiderist]

I just had to explain what I was cackling at to my roommate. It automatically passes the Laugh Rule.

[roachpatrol]

She found her reluctant fiance, Erstad, brooding out on the rainy moors. 

“Is that a baby rabbit?” she asked, observing his huddled form. 

“IT’S SIX BABY RABBITS AND YOU CAN’T TOUCH THEM,” replied Ernstad, contriving to look twice his usual size and at least three times his usual fierceness. 

“Whoah okay damn,” she said, and backed away. 

[jasmiinitee-deactivated20210610]

i’d read the gothic romance novel of ernstad and his baby rabbits like right now

[jackironsides]

This means that Batman, obsessive hoarder of orphans, is the only dark mysterious character that can be accurately described as “brooding”.

[lauraannegilman]

Now, with that image firmly in your head, go back and read Wuthering Heights.

[anchorthroughthestorms]

Obgyn

Went to the obgyn today. I’ve been having crazy bleeding, plus pain, so. I love my ob though so even though I generally don’t like doctors, it wasn’t bad. Getting tons of blood work done, then an ultrasound to make sure I don’t have polyps/fibroids

[sundazesun]

[cecaeliawitch]

“i know i know keep trying” literally everyone around him was busy convincing him to continue harassing her to the point that even he was sick of hearing about it

[gorgeousonionbooty]

It’s crazy

[socialistexan]

Boys and men don’t learn these things in a vacuum. Teach them to respect women and their boundaries early, and don’t assume anyone else will do it either.