i ate your teeth

eyo im mythic || they/them || i dont tag shit || request tags if needed || rb account || gravity falls acct: @gravityfallsaus || billdip acct: @high-on-billdip || myth/cryptid acct: @monsters-in-mythos || ??? acct: @iateyourteeth || pfp is by kittydog on yt

[dawnsfragrance]

if you see me mass blogging on here it’s because i have an assignment 

[aquilacalvitium]

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I’ll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it’s funny and impossible so good fucking luck

[lizluvscupcakes]

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

[aquilacalvitium]

By Talos this can’t be happening

[oysters-aint-for-me]

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

[tungsten-moon]

I figured out roughly how many notes it’s been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023

If we keep it going at this rate we’ll be far past 666k

[aquilacalvitium]

IMPORTANT

Okay so clearly I’ve underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022

[moonlarking]

Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night

[catgirlcaliphate]

OP I hope you are ready to practice some self care because if there’s one thing the gremlins of tumblr love it’s a challenge.

[saint-batrick]

i normally hate these “oh noo don’t give me a ton of notes” posts but this one? this one i love.

posts that have 666k notes TO ME. and hopefully to you, too, OP. 💜

[solarmama-plantsareneat]

Let’s all practice self care if this post hits the magic number…

[purpleblobfrompluto]

Yes

[purpleblobfrompluto]

YALL HELP US

@bigfootshonkers @dollopheadsandclotpoles @gwaine-the-rock-johnson @hannahhook7744 @knightofwoodsbeyond @reality-schmality @thirteenthedoctor @yoursassybookwormfriend if you want to of course @fuckyeahsnackables

[purpleblobfrompluto]

Op telling us we’ll never make it to 666k by the end of 2023 (only having to make it 2022 after all):

Us:

[aquilacalvitium]

I was going to wait until y'all hit the mark, But I feel like I should say this now

When I made this post, it was supposed to be a joke

I mean, none of my posts ever get more than 20 notes if I’m lucky, so what are the odds of one reaching 666k? Impossible, haha

But then, something happened, something I didn’t expect

People actually began to… like it? And… reblog? And comment?

Before I knew it, my notifications were swarmed with comments after comments after reblogs after comments all on this one post

Then, still in the mindset of this being a joke, I realised I’d made the goal too easy, so I upped the stakes

But… the notes just got more frequent from there

And it started to hit me just what was happening

For a while, I was overwhelmed with a feeling

A feeling I wasn’t used to

It was like… all of a sudden… I mattered…

My existance was actually noteworthy

People actually… cared?

It wasn’t a game anymore, it was a race to assure a stranger on the Internet that they were actually worth something

Hundreds of people all gathering in one online place to help out

Leaving messages and well wishes

Making me smile

Making me laugh

Funny comments

Jokes

Fun facts

Even simple comments

It all suddenly felt so real

This was never a joke to you

This was important

And I won’t let any of that go in vain

So… stay tuned I suppose

I’ll look after myself, and I’ll post proof of it too

I’ll catalogue every time I put my health first

Physical and mental

I’ll acknowledge my bad days and celebrate my good days

But most of all

I won’t forget this

Any of this

Ever

(Tagging all the people in that screenshot)

@deepsea-bathyna @royalsampaguita @timeturnerturns @twerkyvulture @reblogspamletsgoooo @gender-crisis-time @obsidianstrawberrymilk @shana-rosee @thefandombringer @sunshinedarlingiloveyou @bregee13 @moonlarking-blog @arcan6yo @crazyw3irdo @xinea @ghastmaskzombie @killthestairs @abalidoth @leesbian42

[kittydesade]

THIS ONE. REBLOG THIS ONE. LET’S GO SELF CARE 2023

[gh0ul-k1ss3r]

my brothers share special interests and my favorite thing to do is walk in a room and be like "hey guys can you tell me about the mariana trench" and then sit there for an hour while they both infodump to me about the ocean it's extremely entertaining

[gh0ul-k1ss3r]

and my parents are always like "oh my god why would you do that" bitch. I want to learn about the ocean and these two thirteen year old boys r my most trusted source

[deadmomjokes]

fr

I mean, I could google questions I have about medieval weaponry and horsemanship, but on the other hand I could message my sister the simple statement “have question about historical saddles” and get both a phone call and a comprehensive 3 page google document within an hour

Seriously, if you know someone who has a special interest you’d like info about, go ask them! It costs zero money, you make them happy, and you learn way more than a basic google search would tell you.

[nickyandmikey]

my advice for the youth of today is go to bed at 10pm. literally nothing else matters

[jame7t]

So, for anyone returning here from Twitter, a few things have changed- most notably, we have a tunnel now. Yeah, you can go play in it.

[batsandboba]

hysterical that tumblr has a post limit btw. they said no. get off our site. log off beloved <3

[420technoblazeit]

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Okay legally I have to try this rainbow goo, right?

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

It seems to be trying to fill a similar ecological niche to jelly so I got waffles to eat it on

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

I swear to fuck, y'all, this stuff smells like children's shampoo

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Well okay let's do this

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

The flavor is indescribable. It's like if you wanted to make lemon preserves but your only knowledge of lemons came from Saturday morning cartoon advertising. This is lemon as seen through the lens of Dr. Wondertainment of SCP fame and I'm pretty sure it fell through a rip in spacetime from their employee cafeteria. It's !!LEMON!! (with a strong aftertaste of artificial coloring and plastic from the edible glitter bits)

The texture is exactly how I always imagined it would be to eat aloe vera gel out of the brightly-colored bottle in my mom's bathroom

Overall 6/10, I'm gonna finish the waffle but fuck knows what I'm gonna do with the rest of the bottle

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

Update my tummy hurts

[battlecrazed-axe-mage]

I assure you these plastics were very macro

[egberts]

[lunnefisk]

YOU THERE! RECENT FOLLOWER WITH NO PROFILE PICTURE. CAN YOU PASS THE TURING TEST

[lunnefisk]

[catchymemes]

[oddpoke]

My old friend, my companion, and my brother in arms

[vaultsixtynine]

im not really into horses but i do love when horses have those little hats that cover their ears and like nothing else

[vaultsixtynine]

holy shit.

[propalitet]

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

[revolutionarytea]

My brother and I trying to piece together our dad’s life based on random info he casually brings up once and then never mentions again

[roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it]

When my great grandpa was on his deathbed my grandpa (his son) was with him and says his last words were “I told them they shouldn’t have hanged that woman. Well by damn they’re paying now” and no one in my family knows what the fuck that means

[bbcwhereareyou]

My grandmother was harassing me about the dangers of online dating, and my grandpa was like, “Oh fer crying out loud, leave her alone. My parents met online, she’ll be fine.” Apparenly my great grandparents were both telegraph operators who would chat over the line in between messages and fell in love and my great grandma moved halfway across the country to marry a dude she met over the telegraph.

No one alive in the family had ever heard this story until like 70+ years later when I happened to start seeing a dude from OK Cupid.

[the-genderfluid-antichrist]

When I am in my death bed I’m just gonna start saying random mysterious half sentences and then die before anyone can figure out I’m pulling stuff out of my ass

[ot3]

pulled over to give a homeless guy some cash on the side of the road today and he pointed to my bigfoot air freshener and asked if i believed in ‘that guy’ and no, i don’t, i have the air freshener because my last car before this one (the pt cruiser) belonged to a woman named tracy who loved bigfoot and had a whole collection of bigfoot stuff including the air freshener and she died of cancer which is why her husband was selling me her car and i figured, hey, might as well keep the air freshener in her honor. and then when i had to junk the last car i couldnt bring myself to get rid of it. so now it’s just hanging off my rear view mirror again. which is probably a worse reason to have an air freshener than believing in bigfoot.

[ot3]

This is the meanest shit you’ve ever said to me Bob

[krit-kat]

[milfsisyphus]

revisiting a piece of media that made you so unwell in the past is just like [touches hot stove] ah yes my old friend the hot stove [sizzling and scorching smell]

[ryebreadedd]

I wish i had big claws to dig a little burrow in the dirt and sleep in it i think it would solve all my problems

[ryebreadedd]

[cloudsaremadeofdreams]

[that-house]

[that-house]

Try exploring the wizard's body

[hispanicdisorder]

[modogoblin]

why must we play god

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Artistic representation of how the lemon was invented in the first place

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

"citrus are whores" is not something i expected to see on the hellsite today

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m not wrong though they are EASILY the sluttiest fruits. You don’t see Rosales pulling this shit. I mean yeah apples will breed weird new apples but nothing fucks around like citrus.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#so we’re slutshaming the fruits now? 

Tags that look homophobic without context