my favorite theory about anything ever is that the titanic sank because too many people time traveled to that place to try to stop the titanic from sinking
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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@annoylng
my favorite theory about anything ever is that the titanic sank because too many people time traveled to that place to try to stop the titanic from sinking
she weaponized her gag gift im crying
rick riordan off the shits
rick riordan made his bones with pretty vanilla YA fantasy and then when he was too successful to stop hit em with the Muslim valkyries and the genderfluid homeless teenagers
this is so fucking shallow and gross
Wanting to know how someone views the world and certain groups of people == shallow?
HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME BASED ON MY VALUES AND THE CONTENT OF MY CHARACTER???
Not wanting to be with someone because their views are incompatible with your own is *literally* the opposite of shallow but okay
Women on twitter are sharing weird things theyve seen in bathrooms at guys houses and im fucking screaming why are men like this
ONE OF THEM HAD A GARDEN HOSE INSTEAD OF A SHOWERHEAD BYE
Why do women hate innovation?
i have been sitting in this burger king for 4 hours
they don’t come to take your order you have to go to the counter
What has been your worst "nice guy" experience?
So, possibly one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the “women want him, men want to *be* him” stuff in old movies? Well I’m a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!
I’m having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making some pretty inappropriate comments, the girl doesn’t look at all comfortable.
The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says “well, least I know you can swallow right?”. Loudly.
Girl goes red and tells him that isn’t appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a “shoo” type motion and says “oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway”.
I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said - fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with “sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live”. She lost the colour in her face and said nothing.
No. No. Fuck no. I’m one of those “get involved” type of people and there is no way I’m sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.
I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says “Easy.. I’ve got this one son”. Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to “stab him in the neck” and I’m already thinking maybe that’s not the best idea, I sit down.
He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn’t have any colour in his face.
Cop: “So, I’m quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?”
Guy: “I, ah, well, um, you see..”
Cop: “That’s what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I’m deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up.”
Guy: “oh no well that…”
Cop: “But that would disrupt everyone’s dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn’t want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn’t go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I’ll leave it up to you.”
Guy: “No no! That’s perfectly fine!” \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter\*
Cop: \*while writing down the guys details\* “Sorry about that miss, I hope I’m not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don’t worry, if you want to pursue this further I’ll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further.”
Girl: “No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here”.
Cop: \*shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* “Well I’m here with my daughter, she’s about your age, perhaps you’d like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you’d like, unless you’d prefer to call someone else?”
Girl: “Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!”
\*guy returns, so does the hardarse cop\*
Guy: “Uh so, I’ve paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..”.
Cop: “There you go.. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don’t go near or contact this young lady ever again.”
Guy: “Yes yes of course, I’m so sorry!”
The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap.
It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero.
I will always reblog this.
Will forever reblog this example of what cops should be like
Have we ever discussed the fact that 2001 - 2012 Disney channel’s shows all had strong female leads, with the exception of Zack and Cody but they had a black man in charge, a smart poor white blonde girl and a dumb rich Asian so still beautifully diverse.
Disney was 100% female empowerment and showed diversity. Who did they employ to create the shit they have today?
Of the shows with girls as leads, two of them were POC and their heritage was actively acknowledged throughout the show. We have a Wizards of Waverly Place episode featuring a quincenera and we have That’s So Raven, which actually did a lot to talk about body image and addressed the issue of antiblack racism.
Not to mention Zack and Cody had a working single mother (a divorcee at that!!) who was respected, strong, and amazing. Also a PoC bellhop who was a crucial role and in nearly every episode, and whose heritage was always known and respected. That’s So Raven had a lovely and diverse cast of friends/family, tackled topics that every teenager faces, like stress from school and work, body positivity and racism that runs in our country, all while still having banter that was classic in Disney. This also doesn’t even brush on the animated series that Disney had at this time, like Lilo and Stitch, The Proud Family, Kim Possible, and American Dragon Jake Long, which all had either strong female leads, PoC, or a mix of both.
pick your fighter
the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl
a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go
the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride
Ms Polygraph Test
$200 birthday
bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all
since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
my mom is a well intentioned yet nosy mom and she always wants to hook me up with people. it leads to some text message gems so the other day i went through and screenshotted the best. please enjoy.
“I either just met a nice gay girl or a bigot” is bar none the absolute best text anyone has ever sent in the history of the human race nosy mom accidentally sums up the entire debate about the word q*eer in one historic text message it’s indescribably beautiful
when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.
then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.
so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.
one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.
my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.
all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol
This took a different direction than I was expecting.
This is so fucking funny
ur telling me the government can easily allocate billions of dollars to kill villages of people overseas but paying for its own citizens to have needed surgeries and medications is too much? Get the fuck out of here.
are you telling me that if the government decided to start spending the money to help its own citizens afford medical care it’s first priority should be people who wanna take synthetic hormones cos they think it’ll fix their mental health problems instead of like, people who are dying because they can’t afford chemotherapy? get the fuck outta here
I literally never specified trans specific stuff and was specifically implying, ya know, everything and everyone. Maybe you’re a tad obsessed?
And yeah, I think trans healthcare should be covered, just like how I think the surgery to pull your head out of your ass should be covered.
the original post specified “hormones” but nice one trying to spin it like i’m a crazy person pulling shit out of thin air
It literally doesn’t say hormones. It literally doesn’t. At all. Scroll up, you can literally see it that it doesn’t. I get it, you’re obsessed. Just fucking move on, Westboro.
In 2018 all of our reaction gifs will come from old Barbie VHS movies
This is the best news I’ve heard all week
Guys we might be onto something
This scene changed my life
hey remember in 2016 when clown attack panic was a thing? and 2 years later it’s managed to leave no lasting indent in the American psyche, how does that work
bruh theres some guy who keeps track of all the mass clown incidents in the united states and it happens like every 20 years its fuckin weird
are you fucking telling me It is based on true events
Around where I live, it happens almost every year…