Anxiety Cheesecake

She/Her pronouns. First language is Spanish, so feel free to talk to me if you're a Spanish speaker, too! :)

[anxietycheesecake]

I'm sorry that you're being attacked and blocked for having valid criticisms. It's really weird to be new to this fandom and watch it go from a fairly positive space to fans being as nasty to each other as Star Wars fans in such a short period of time, especially when the crumbs people are cobbling together and calling a canonized ship is what we scrape for in other fandoms with ships we know will never be canon and we KNOW we're stretching the material we're given. I love my queerplatonic ships, found families, and platonic soulmates. I can absolutely enjoy Nandermo through that lens, but the gaslighting and mental gymnastics here is raising such a fucking eyebrow and you don't deserve to feel like you've done something wrong for recognizing it.

Being allosexual or alloromantic is as valid as being asexual or aromatic and it's actually so fucking unchill to conflate being gay or pan with being ace or aro just because they are all under the queer umbrella.

Ace =/= celibate, but half this fandom thinks Guillermo is a virgin and I can't help but think that's being bundled into the hot takes that are coming out right now when it's canon that he's uncomfortable due to being in the closet and his Catholic upbringing. Yes, he could be ace, but that means at best were batting 1/4 for aroace Nandermo.

Nandor has sex with Gail onscreen and is very clearly not ace. The vampires would have MINIMALLY mentioned Guillermo being a virgin and wouldn't have eagerly asked about his sex life in Atlantic City if they thought he was one and they practically have radar for it. He was panicking over Jeremy being a virgin and having brought him into the house and the only thing that saved the guy was losing his virginity. Nandor and Guillermo are both romantic in romantic relationships, and both are expressive about it and tell others they love them.

When you speedrun the entire series and the notable interviews with fresh eyes and not over a stretch of years the leap between 'My Nan- Master' vs. best friends, cuddling a Nandor puppet at night, the I'll make you a vampire speech vs. the vibe in the warrior speech is SO visible and it fits perfectly with Simms' public discomfort with fans shipping Nandor and Guillermo. He is openly uncomfortable with them being in a romantic relationship or having sex with each other and uses every homophobic gaslighting tactic in the playback when speaking about it.

“No, I do think there’s a small subset of very vocal people on Twitter who are like ‘We want to see Nandor and Guillermo hook up,’ and we’re always like, I think their love is bigger and more profound than that,” Simms said. “And also do you really want to see that? Do you?”

This is literally how straight people talk when they're uncomfortable with queer shit. What haven't we seen in this show other than that? Is Nadja and Laszlo's love lesser for it?

“Times that we’ve talked about it and explored it, the power dynamics seem so problematic,” Simms continued. “I mean, that’s his boss.”

In a show where the main couple started with nonconsensual sex (it's still noncon if it turns out that they could have had sex without hypnosis) and Laszlo fucks Colin Robinson after raising him for a gag. Sure, keep telling yourselves that the power dynamic is what makes Simms uncomfortable.

"I mean, it's a nice thought, for some...I don't know about these guys" Kayvan says as he nods toward Simms.

I've seen the Harvey interviews and talking heads from earlier seasons on the subject of Nandermo. The 2024 panel couldn't have been more different, and Harvey seemed completely subdued when the others were discussing Nandermo fanart and them being a ship.

This isn't a person who deserves applause for queer representation and it seems toxic af that Harvey has been stuck in a workplace where he has to hear this drivel when he's openly gay. Yes, I am side eyeing the fuck out of this and it's not because I'm crying over wanting my blorbos to smooch.

You can actually have a romantic pair not kiss or fuck or say I love you without pulling a very clear 'no homo.' That would have been totally fine, but they didn't do that. Copy and paste that scene into anything starring Andy Samberg, or literally anything bro centric and tell me it's a romantic love confession. Or rather, try taking it off tumblr and see if anybody thinks it isn't deep platonic male friendship.

It's okay for people to be upset when they've been hoodwinked. It's okay to separate fanon from canon and still enjoy your ships. But ffs stop gaslighting each other and saying non-romance is romance or that non-romance has more worth than romance and that people are shallow for not valuing it when that's not the problem people have with this, and when that isn't the bill of good audiences we're sold in earlier seasons.

The call is coming from inside the house it shouldn't be.

(Also SO sorry for how long this was).

Never apologize for articulating this better than I ever could. I'm too lazy to look for all the recipes I know are out there, so most of the shit I say is like "source: trust me bro"; I'm glad someone else did it.

The aspec thing makes me so mad because, as a writer, I'm always going out of my way to properly and respectfully represent aspec folks. Like, I've got two novels starring an ace woman and an aromantic man. Do I deserve a medal for that? Of course not! It should be normal. But it's kind of infuriating that people are willing to give aspec rep credit to a show just because it made two male characters stay platonic after teasing their relationship for years and call me aphobic for pointing out that's not the case.

[anxietycheesecake]

Seasoned phannies, new yaoi cocaine addict here. I've been told a lot that it's ok to join the cult now as long as I'm respectful of their boundaries, so I was wondering, are there any specific lines that is assumed you shall not cross? Like, I know like base level decency stuff like not doxxing them, not harassing people around them, etc. The stuff you expect. But is there anything that shall not be discussed or done that an adult person wouldn't instinctively know about? Anything off-limits that is agreed upon in the phandom or they mentioned on a random livestream back in 2012 or something? Genuinely asking. I'm not used to stanning people.

[phantomrose96]

While we're dunking on callout posts (good) I would especially like to dunk on the kind of callout posts that are like:

"<OP> is a <particular kind of bigot> here's our 20 page google doc of proof":

Irrelevant information

Irrelevant information

A completely innocuous joke that the OP made which is only bigoted if you approach it with the worst faith possible

A ton of screencaps that provide nothing except to pad the google doc

Screencaps of someone else just randomly having their own beef with OP that they're airing publicly for literally no reason

Evidence that seems to suggest OP might be a member of the minority identity they're supposedly bigoted against

Evidence that OP likes a television series that tumblr currently hates

Evidence that OP likes something which, if you jump through a professional-dog-show number of hoops, can be linked to something bigoted

An out-of-context blurb which is probably what started all the drama and again only looks bad if you read it with intentionally bad faith

A passing reference to the fact that OP has profusely apologized but that's evidence that they're bad according to the callout post

Discord screenshots of someone who's clearly the aggressor interacting with OP trying to make them admit something

Evidence that OP is maybe just a little bit annoying, as if that's a crime on the Cringe Website

And then all the notes on the post are like "#omg I had no idea" "#blocking them #stay safe everyone" or "#god I always knew they were weird"

Next time I see that I'm taking someone's teeth.

[rebornfromsea]

I'm not sure I've seen anyone mention it yet, but the padded length of such call-outs isn't just to make the people look worse, but also to make the reader too fucking exhausted to form their own opinions about anything there. It's very much MEANT to leave you so drained and irritated that when the op of the callout reiterates that you should be mad at the person it's about you don't even have enough energy to be like "no, I'm irritated that you wasted my time"

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#it amazes me some of this format is learned by teens- these very professional brain draining tactisa#tactics#wank

Mate they're invented by teens. This is the common/stereotypical way for teen girls to bully other teen girls at school.

[theconcealedweapon]

That's exactly what's supposed to happen. People wish they could be activists, but they can't because they have to work in order to survive, so they make sure their children can be the activists.

Also, you're absolutely right that this is what privilege looks like. But for the 1,000,012th time, the word "privilege" is not an insult. Having privilege doesn't automatically make you a bad person, but it does make you more likely to have opportunities to be a bad person. It's also possible to use your privilege for good.

Would you prefer that she instead use her wealth to buy an excess of housing in order to profit and hoard more wealth? How exactly would that be the morally superior choice?

[another-exclus]

Everything is like “QUEER history” and “List of QUEER young adult books” or “Top 10 QUEER movies” and queer this and queer that and for the love of god please just say LGBT.

But queer is more inclusive

[a-tired-humanist]

And faster to pronounce if you are talking instead of writing.

[another-exclus]

It’s not more inclusive, and if your excuse of using a slur as a blanket term is “it’s faster to say”, GENUINELY what is wrong with you

[a-tired-humanist]

It’s called economía del lenguaje.

It’s also the respected academic term?? The acronym isn’t static and it’s usage is varied by things like generational difference, location, and knowledge of the community. Even just in the U.S. in the last few decades the common usage gone from GLBT to LGBT to LGBTQ, to LGBTQA/LGBTQIA/LGBTQIAP/etc (Which, let me tell you as someone who has given presentations in the past using these updated acronyms, are all real mouthfulls), to LGBT+.

Also yes, queer is more inclusive! Especially coming at it from an academic standpoint, people didn’t always use or identify with the terms we use now and you can’t always try to cram them into our modern perceptions of sexuality. We can argue for years about whether a famous historical figure was gay or bisexual or straight and trans or whatever, but if we can all agree that they were somehow queer then using that term allows us to move past the debate and into productive discussion. And not everybody everywhere shares the same terms for sexual and gender identity, or even the same concepts of those things, so queer really is a more inclusive term in a lot of cases.

Like yeah if you’re talking specifically about gay or trans people you can just say gay or transgender, but if you’re talking about more than one identity or someone who doesn’t conform to our perceptions of ‘LGBT,’ or a person or people whose identity you don’t know, queer is just the better word.

[jabberwockypie]

“That’s SO gay”, “Oh my god, you’re not a LESBIAN, are you?”

Your words are slurs, too. Why do you get your words, but I don’t get mine? What makes you so special?

I’m here, I’m queer, go fuck yourself.

[levynite]

queer is not a slur, stop drinking the TERF koolaid

[darthsuki]

[matronofthevoid]

every time one of you fools spout about ‘queer is a slur’ a terf laughs because their fucking plan to make that word ‘taboo’ is fucking working you dipshit.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I did not get my degree in queer literature for you all to keep pulling this bullshit.

[moki-dokie]

baby gays,,,, i beg of you to learn your queer history and stop listening to terf bullshit

every single one of our labels has been used as a slur against us.

terfs and -phobes are always going to try and hurt us with what we identify as. but the fact remains these are OUR labels and always have been.

we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it.

[hyperactivehedgehog]

I don’t know if this is just because I’m not American but I’ve never heard queer used as a slur. Ever. Meanwhile gay was the insult in the 2000s here. Everything you didn’t like was ‘soo gay’. Queer wasn’t even a word most of us knew back then.

It just baffled me that people would think an identifier is automatically a slur just because someone uses it to mock someone. If we did that gay would be a slur. Stupid would be a slur. Autistic would be a slur.

The reason people are upset about the word queer is that it’s a unifying term. You can say you’re queer and all people will know is that you’re part of the community. But you can’t say you’re LGBT, you have to say you’re gay or trans or ace. They don’t want you to be ambiguously queer. They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

[tapacamino]

yeah in the 90s and early 2000s kids would call each other “gay” as an insult. But no one ties themselves in knots over whether “gay” is a slur. So yeah, please ffs learn your history.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[rabidchild67]

They want you to say which kind of queer you are so they can decide whether you’re undesirable.

[weaselle]

i have lived in San Francisco, I have lived with lesbians, i have lived with gay men, i know trans people and non-binary people and bisexual and demi and aro and all kinds of people, i hang out in “gay neighborhoods” and spend time in clubs and bars and bookstores and art studios dedicated to these demographics

i have never ONCE in my entire life met a person irl who had a problem with the word queer.

of course every one of the people i’ve mentioned would have a problem being called queer by someone who meant it as an insult, because they’d be insulted

but again, i have never ONCE in my entire life met a person irl who had a problem with the word queer itself.

makes me think this online discourse over the word is being fueled by people who are not any of these things and would very much like the queer community to fracture and fight each other.

We’ve seen this happen a lot actually. White dudes making accounts posing as black women to start shit, right wingers making accounts posing as leftists to start shit, this kind of thing happens all over the internet.

The more we argue and fight, the more we exclude and separate, the better it is for them. Let’s not help them succeed.

[anxietycheesecake]

A high school mean girl stereotype dies a stupid death and goes to Hell, where she bonds with a washed out incompetent warrior king (think Nandor the Relentless type) who also died a stupid death, becoming the daughter he never had as they plot a plan to overthrow Satan and become the new rulers of Hell. She also has a romance with a Christian girl who cursed once and he's totally not in a complicated codependent relationship with the rival warrior king that killed him.

[brunaberet]

WIP INTRODUCTION - Vampire Lesbians In The Roaring 20's

Nan Marshall abandons her provincial life in Louisiana —along with the husband chosen for her— in search of something she cannot yet name. Harlem promises freedom, but the city’s rhythm is relentless, its nights colder than she imagined and her place within it uncertain. Then she meets June Blanchard. Draped in bright colors and exuding a mysterious allure, June embodies everything Nan’s parents warned her against, but with every chance encounter, she finds herself drawn closer. June eventually leads her to The Gorgon, a clandestine speakeasy at the borough’s heart where the beautiful and damned gather under the rule of vampire matriarch Lucille, indulging in pleasures both intoxicating and forbidden: women, power, and blood. Although seduced by the promise of eternal life and a sense of belonging, Nan begins to realize that her flight from Louisiana may have brought her into a different kind of captivity. By night’s end, the choice will be hers to make.

✦ Genre: Gothic fiction / Historical Fiction / Sapphic Vampire Romance

✦ Category: Adult

✦ POV: First person

✦ Themes: Escape, belonging, desire, repression, decay, mortality, power and vulnerability.

✦ Status: Drafting

✦ Vibes: velvet curtains, crimsom lipstick stains on crystal glasses, gold dust clinging to skin under dim light, jazz echoing through underground walls, cigarette smoke, bare shoulders catching the glow of a chandelier, whispering in powder rooms, pearls against dark skin, the sticky warmth of a crowded cabaret, the ache of shoes too tight for dancing all night long, the flicker of neon lights, blood spilled over fur coats and feather capes.

A small-town girl from Louisiana, running from an arranged marriage that promised her nothing but a lifetime of polite obedience. She arrives to New York City not knowing what she's looking for, but in desperate need of finding it.

The girl who left first. Once the miracle beauty of her hometown, she was still a teenager when she swore, “make me marry that old man and I’ll vanish to chase modeling.” And she did. Now she helps Nan find her footing in the city, offering her a bed in her cramped room and a taste of glamour she wears like armor.

The first face Nan meets in New York, and the one who opens the door to The Gorgon. Enigmatic, magnetic, a little fragile beneath the polish —she’s Shug Avery with stage fright. A century of undeath hasn’t made her immune to sunlight, garlic or pretty lady.

Owner and architect of The Gorgon. To her, vampirism was never a curse but a covenant bestowed upon her by a beloved partner as the highest act of trust. Where others fed in alleys and fled from torches, she imagined something bolder: a sanctuary. The Gorgon is her cathedral, her rules its scripture. Nothing is taken without being freely given, and those who cross that line answer to her. Regal, uncompromising, almost priestess-like, Lucille turns survival into ritual.

Lucille’s main partner and right hand, though never her reflection. Where Lucille sees sacrament, Archer remembers conquest. She lived through the days when vampires bowed to no laws, and she carries that feral pride like a badge. Blunt and unyielding, The Gorgon’s delicate rules mean nothing to her but a gilded cage. She stays at Lucille’s side not out of devotion, but in the hope of one day shaking her out of it. Sharp suits, sharper teeth and almost no patience left. The butch your sire told you not to worry about.

The youngest at The Gorgon. Once a rich man’s spoiled daughter, now restless, hungry and ungrateful for rules. Lucille’s worshiped donors are nothing but blood bags, if you ask her. Blood bags getting far too comfortable with their natural predators’ devotion. To Sylvia, vampirism isn’t sacred; it’s power, and she’s starving for more.

[anxietycheesecake]

I hope he survives and gets to live with the consequences of everything he stood for.

[dark-rose-academia]

A painting, most ardently

[anxietycheesecake]

my dumb ass thought this was a nandermo screenshot

[anxietycheesecake]

RIP season 5 Nandor the Relentless, you would've had loved My Man On Willpower by Sabrina Carpenter

[anxietycheesecake]

I love you, fake Minoan art. Save me, fake Minoan art.

[anney-baker]

🎶Jack of all trades master of none~🎵

[anxietycheesecake]

RIP nandermo arc that literally never happened, you would have loved When Did You Get Hot? by Sabrina Carpenter

[hellyeahscarleteen]

“There often seems to be an assumption that men who say they’re bisexual are actually gay, for example, and that women who say they’re bisexual are actually straight. Is attraction to male bodies considered the default? Those assumptions sure make it sound that way. There’s almost an expectation that eventually, you’ll pick a “side” when such narratives are incredibly damaging. It can make us feel pressured to “pick”, when there’s really no reason why we should need to. A bisexual man could be with a woman his entire life – but that doesn’t for one second mean that he’s straight. Alternatively, he could be with men and men only, and this wouldn’t make him gay if he didn’t identify as such.”

Adam England, Staying Seen: Being Bi in Relationships with Straight People

[closetscorpio]

[stele3]

USC Agents of Change establishes hotline to help move immigration hearings online

Since Monday, a group of 15 USC student, alumni and faculty volunteers have already received thousands of calls for help on open immigration

It’s real.

[aroace-polyshow]

honestly i never thought the phrase “i want that twink obliterated” was like a sexual thing. like when i read the phrase i imagine “a meteor like the one that killed the dinosaurs is summoned from the heavens and hits the twink in question” type situation

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Wait, it's a sex thing? I've always assumed it was a supervillain giving his henchman orders to destroy the lithe young hero invading his evil lair.

[hobbular]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Yes exactly!

[mothnem]

Gonna be honest, this is the first time I heard it was a sex thing.

[anxietycheesecake]

Wanting to write an omegaverse!nandermo fic but not for horny reasons. Just Nandor going into heat after centuries somehow and vampires are just so disconected from humanity they didn't even remember omegas and alphas were a thing. And of course this is somehow Guillermo's problem. Of course this is the way he'd find out he isn't actually a beta, just a late bloomer.

"Guillermoooo, is my nest ready? It should be by now >:("

"Aren't you supposed to make it yourself?"

"But it is better this way! You're the one who has to like it, Colin Robinson told me." (Colin Robinson has been educating Nandor on the most annoying ways to be an omega, btw). "So it makes sense that you're the one picking the clothes and blankets you like best. It is your duty as my alpha."

"I'm not your alpha! I didn't even know I was an alpha before this week and I'm still trying to figure out how it translates into MORE WORK FOR ME."

"Ayeee, careful with that coat! You don't lay it on the floor all willy-nilly like that..."

"DO IT YOURSELF, THEN"

"Now that is no way to speak to your omega."

Not only don't Nadja and Laszlo understand what the fuck is going on (just a vague memory of how Nadja was shamed for being the only female alpha in her village and Laszlo being in heat when she turned him), they also don't even see how it's clearly messed up.

"What the fuck are complaining about? You've always wanted to fuck him, now you can."

"Ok, first of all, that's not- I don't- That's besides the point! I'm not going to fuck Nandor. Nobody here is going to fuck him while he's like this and especially not me."

"Why not? Do you want him to die?"

"He's not going to die, that's just a porn plotline! I'm not taking advantage of him. That's just- no"

Nandor walks in naked, with a raging erection and that face you made when you were four and went to your mom's bedroom to tell her you were about to puke at 3am.

"Guillermo, I am self-lubricating again..."

"What? It's been ten- I'll fix you another bath, just let me..."

"Don't make me use my omega voice."

"That's- that's not a thing..."

"Well, it is on Hentai," Colin Robinson points out.

Guillermo rushes Nandor back to the second floor before he can ask what is that.

It comes to a point where he's just tired and pissed off; Nandor in heat annoys the instincts out of anyone.