I saw on your last fic that you said you were thinking about writing for Valentino and I have a suggestion is you’re interested. I think it would be really fun to see him interact with a child. Like if someone just dumped one at him and then left. I think it would be a really good opportunity for comedy because I think Valentino would be so out of his depth but in a funny way.
I literally cannot imagine Val with a CHILD💀💀 Literally tried my hardest to not make this uncomfortable while not going too off the canon Valentino.
VALENTINO X GN!CHILD!READER
The Vee Tower was never quiet.
24 hours a day the screens flickered, neon bleed through glass the low mechanical purr of VoxTech servers stacked like artificial organs behind the walls. Valentino liked it that way. He stood near the floor to ceiling windows, phone pressed to his ear, half listening to Vox ramble about the Hazbin Hotel like it was some bad investment he couldn’t resist poking. “Aaaand you’re sure this isn’t a trap,” Valentino drawled, smoke curling from his lips. “because last time you said that, I lost three studios and a perfectly good dancer.”
Vox’s voice crackled through the line. “Relax. It’s reconnaissance. Velvette wants eyes on Charlie. I want data. You wanted me to stop obsessing; congratulations, I’m multitasking!”
Valentino rolled his eyes. “Just don’t let that hotel stain my brand.”
“We’ll be back in a few hours,” Vox said. “And you. Don’t try not to burn the tower down.”
The call ended. Valentino wasn’t surprised at that but then he turned and froze. A child stood in the lobby. They didn’t seem like a demon spawn or a gremlin, not even some sharp toothed Hellborn nightmare. A child child. Small, human shaped, scuffed shoes, big eyes, a backpack clutched in both hands like a life raft. The revolving doors behind them spun once… twice… then stopped. No adult followed. Valentino stared and the child stared back.
They regarded each other across the polished marble and projected advertisements like opposing chess pieces. “…No,” Valentino said flatly, with an almost nervous smile. The child tilted their head. “Are you the moth?”
That question cringed Val so hard. Valentino snapped his fingers. “Security!” Nothing. He snapped again, harder. “Hellooo? Anyone?” Still nothing. VoxTech’s systems hummed, uncaring. Velvette’s floor was dark. Vox was gone. The tower for once, was empty of anyone who could make this someone else’s problem. When the child shuffled forward a step while their boots were squeaking Valentino backed up instinctively.
They stopped. Immediately.
Good. Obedient. That triggered something automatic in his brain…an ugly reflex born of decades of control, branding, turning people into assets— And then the reflex hit a wall. His smile didn’t return. The calculation short circuited. There was no angle here that didn’t end with blood, fire or Vox screaming about optics. Valentino swore under his breath.“Who dropped you here,” he asked. The child shrugged. “A lady with this uhm green skin and tiny yellow eyes.”
Valentino closed his eyes.
He dragged a hand down his face, wings twitching. His mind raced he could definitely use them, THOSE kind of people like younger anyways but what about Vox’s “big bad plan” to take over heaven? Well, would he really care if he recruited this child right this second?? Heaven didn’t care about adults in Hell but children were always a different story. That was… worse. He pulled out his phone and redialed Vox. “Change of plans,” he said the second the line connected. “Get back here.” Vox sighed. “Val, we’re literally at the hotel—”
“There is a child in the lobby.”
“A small one. Flesh. Backpack. All that jazz.”
Vox inhaled sharply. “Do not do anything stupid.”
Valentino scoffed dramatically. “I resent the implication.”
“I’m not touching it,” he snapped. “Darling I just need you back.”
Vox hesitated. “We can’t. Velvette’s already poking the princess. This matters.”
The line went dead. Valentino stared at his phone like it had betrayed him personally. He looked back at the child. She was watching the giant screens all around the walls and even the ceiling, their eyes reflecting neon. They seemed rather interested in the tower. Val decided to take her to his room, to not be seen with a child longer. He starts leading her out of the lobby. “There is so much going on here.”
Valentino ignores her comment then exhaled smoke, jaw tight. “What’s your name.”
He nodded once. Filed it away. “You’re staying here until this,” he does a dramatic hand motion “gets fixed.” Y/N hugged her backpack closer. “You’re scary.”
Valentino turned away sharply, grabbing a hot pink jacket with dirty white fur all around its collar and wrist area off a nearby chair and tossing it at her. “Put that on. This place is cold.” The coat swallowed them. That helped a little, at least now Y/N looked less like a headline. Valentino turned, already planning damage control, and then actually looked at the room, the room wasn’t subtle. Velvet benches, chrome tables. sex toys, a lot of sex toys, glass cases, things shaped in ways that had never once been intended for innocent hands.
He scanned the space rapidly, calculating. Normally, he’d snap his fingers and have everything cleared in seconds. But Vox was gone. Velvette was gone and even if they weren’t, moving this stuff around meant employees. Cameras, questions, records, optics. He could already hear Vox’s voice in his head, sharp and furious: Do you have any idea how that looks? Valentino clenched his jaw. He turned back just in time to see the child’s hand inching toward a glass table. Which he finds absolutely hilarious but then remembers Vox’s command. “Nope,” he said instantly, crossing the room in three long strides and gently yet but firmly redirecting her by the shoulder. “Hands to yourself.” She blinked up at him. “What is that.” “None of your business for now.”
That slowed her down. Valentino straightened, slowly becoming irritated. He wasn’t going to rearrange the entire room. That was ridiculous. This was his tower. His space. Hell didn’t suddenly become childproof because the universe had a sense of humor! Instead, he grabbed a chair and sat , hard , near her, phone already in his hand. Fine. He’d wait this out. He scrolled through messages, all the calls Vox didn’t answer, VoxTech alerts, voxtagram, Angeldust’s news…Anything to keep his mind occupied and his attention away from the small, curious liability sitting five feet from him. Silence stretched. Then:
“Why do you have so many weird sticks.”
Valentino didn’t look up. “They’re decorations.”
“They look like they hurt.”
He sighed through his nose. “Because people are stupid.”
A pause. Then the soft scrape of shoes. Valentino glanced up. She was halfway to another table. He shot to his feet. “Absolutely not.” “I wasn’t touching!” “You were thinking about it.” She frowned. “You can see thoughts?” “I can see trouble.” She plopped back down, pouting, then immediately perked up again. “Why is your eye like that.” Valentino stiffened. “…Rude thing to ask.”
He turned away, jaw tight, phone back in hand. Ignoring her. That usually worked on adults. Children, unfortunately, treated being ignored like a personal challenge. “What’s your name,” she asked. “Valentino.”
Valentino’s fingers paused over the screen.
She considered that seriously. “Did someone lose.” He didn’t answer. Minutes passed. She swung her legs. He scrolled. She leaned forward. He cleared his throat pointedly. She leaned back. Then Y/N found another fun question to ask. “Are you lonely.” That one slipped past his defenses like a knife between ribs. He didn’t look at her. “No.”
“You seem,” she said like it was a statement.
Valentino laughed short, humorless. “You talk too much.”
That shut Y/N off. He glanced at her despite himself. They were watching him, chin propped in their hands, entirely unafraid. No awe. No disgust. Just curiosity, raw and unfiltered.
Valentino looked back at the room. At the neon. At the objects he suddenly saw not as indulgence, but as hazards. At a world he controlled perfectly until a child walked into it and exposed every sharp edge. He stayed where he was. Didn’t touch her, didn’t soften, didn’t become kind just like how Vox told him to do. He just stayed. Because moving was risk, leaving was worse, and ignoring her entirely was proving impossible.The elevator chimed then his phone buzzed.
He answered without thinking. “If you’re about to ask me how I’m doing, don’t.” Vox’s voice came through sharp and electric. “Where. Is. The child.” Valentino exhaled smoke slowly. “In my room.” There was a pause a real, weighted one . “Okay…Why,” Vox said carefully, almost like speaking to a kid, “is there a child in my tower.”
Valentino glanced over. The girl was sitting on the floor again, cross legged, poking at the edge of an original case with one finger like she was testing whether it would bite. “She was dropped off,” Valentino said flatly. “In front of the building. Like a package.” Velvette’s voice cut in, faint but amused through the line. “Oh my god. That’s hilarious.”
“Don’t encourage this,” Vox snapped, then back to Valentino: “You knew there was a kid.” “I know now.” “You didn’t think to move her anywhere else?” Valentino laughed, sharp. “To where, Vox? The sex dungeon? The branding floor? Your surveillance nest?”
“…Okay,” Vox admitted. “Fair.” The elevator doors slid open behind Valentino. Vox stepped out first, screens following his gaze instantly, Velvette right behind him, eyes already cataloguing the scene like it was content. Her smile faltered when she actually saw the kid.
“Oh,” Velvette said. “She’s… smaller than I imagined.”
Velvette beamed. “I love her.”
“No,” Vox snapped. Then he crouched slightly, inspecting Y/N like she was a prototype. “You didn’t touch anything inappropriate, did you?” Valentino scoffed proudly. “I stopped her.”
“You stopped her?” Vox echoed. “Val, this room is a lawsuit with legs as it is.”
Vox straightened, thinking fast now, gears visibly spinning. Screens flickered with analytics, projections, possibilities.
“…Okay,” he said slowly. “But hear me out.” Velvette and Val groaned. “No.” “A mystery child appears at the Vee Tower,” Vox continued, pacing. “No origin. No records. Just… dropped. That’s potential engagement.” Valentino chuckled, understanding what Vox was planing now “Come on babe, she is not a brand,” Vox looked at him. “Everything is a brand.”
The child raised their hand. “What’s a brand.”
“Don’t answer that,” Valentino said instantly.
“Not like you’d be a better guardian than me now isn’t that correct?”
Val waved it off. “I’m not talking about anything explicit. Jesus, Vox, I’m not suicidal. I’m talking about…you know! Things that ‘VoxTech would care.’” Vox stared. “…I literally own VoxTech…”
“Hey, I thought we all owned VoxTech—”
Vox’s smile widened. “I want my logo near a child. You just happen to be the one who found the thing.” “Right,” Valentino cut in. He wanted to say more but he chose to stay quiet. Vox paused. Studied him. “…You’re tense,” Vox said. “You hate this.” Valentino didn’t answer. The child tugged on Valentino’s coat sleeve. He looked down automatically.
“Are they staying?” they asked. Valentino hesitated. Vox answered instead. “For now.” They nodded, satisfied, then promptly leaned back against Valentino’s leg like he was furniture. “Look,” he said smoothly, pacing once like he was on a stage, “Hazbin Hotel has no children. None. Zero. They’re all about rehabilitation optics, redemption theater, blah blah halos and feelings.” He gestured vaguely, dismissive. “We?” Vox continued, tapping the side of his head as charts blinked into existence. “We accidentally look better by comparison. Not good. Don’t get it twisted. Just… less terrible.” Valentino scoffed. “That’s not the flex you think it is.” “Oh, it absolutely is,” Vox shot back. “They preach morality and somehow still don’t have safeguards. We’re vice incarnate and—” he nodded toward the kid “—we’ve got supervision.”
Velvette snorted. “Barely.”
Vox ignored her. “Think about it. ‘Even the Vees protect kids.’ Semi responsible. Begrudgingly competent. It makes the hotel look reckless.”
“We could always…employ her for other things. You know, marketing, promotions, adult—”
Vox cut him off instantly, voice snapping through the line. “Valentino! Are you listening to me?” His glare could have short circuited the tower’s entire network. “I said the hotel has no children. This isn’t a playground, it isn’t content fodder, and it is absolutely not to be used for…anything like that!” Velvette snorted in the background, trying and failing to hide amusement. Valentino raised an eyebrow, grin twitching. “I was just thinking outside the box.” Vox slammed a hand on a nearby console, making the screens flicker. “Outside the box? She is a human looking child! She is not a brand asset for your twisted amusement! I don’t care how many floors you own or what neon junk you have lying around! Did you hear me?!” Valentino raised both hands, mock-surrender. “Fine, fine. Point taken. I was just… exploring options. Strategically.” The kid, unfazed, yawned and tugged at the coat Valentino had thrown over them. “You two are weird,” she said. Vox groaned. “And you wonder why I hate children.”
I feel like I kinda went off topic by the end but uhm feel free to request if it’s not what you wanted exactly??😭😭
snowghoul
janainaart
jacobvanloon
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
dededos