an excessive number of oranges

avoiding concrete identifiers since infancy

[afloweroutofstone]

Got a great ad encouraging people to dismantle surveillance equipment and then sell the guts at a pawn shop

[somni]

you know. i must say that this is true for me as well

[k-dhd]

[crystaltoa]

Even saying ”I’m so sorry, I completely forgot” sounds marginally better than ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t completely forget, I actually completely remembered. I thought about it the whole time and it stressed me out so much my brain built an insurmountable wall around it.”

[halfabouros]

It takes so much mental fortitude to remember to pick up that sock

[angrylittlesliceofpizza]

"i thought about that task so much my brain apparently decided i had already done it" also sounds like bullshit, AND YET

[big-smiling-monkey]

“It didn’t happen, and I don’t know why. It could have. It should have. My life would be vastly improved if it had. I thought about it constantly and obsessively… and yet here we are.”

[funny-tik-toks]

[feiridian]

adrian is a saint

[punishedsaints]

Macrocilix maia.

[chilewithcarnage]

[qqchurch]

[dogpuppy]

[squirrelly-13]

they got married btw

[visit-me-here-in-wonderland]

oh you’re not kidding

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[thegaymertrainer]

Ribbon dancing I was not aware of your evolution 🤯

[plantnerderyallday]

I see this, and I see where gymnastics was like 50 years ago, and I really wonder what in the world gymnastics will look like in 50 years.

[scarlct-vvitch]

grace, who has been alone for five minutes: oh my god. an alien! im not alone anymore! i hope he wants to be friends :)

rocky, coming up on 50 years of solitude, imprinting on grace in ways baby ducklings can only dream of: if you leave me to sleep where i can't watch your heart beat i am blowing up this tunnel with us both in it

[scarlct-vvitch]

free fic idea up for grabs. godspeed

[jusjuiceboxbox]

Welcome to being an adult! Featuring such injury causing events as

- sneezed wrong

- turned your neck a little too fast

- slept weird

- took the trash out to the curb and stepped at a slightly different angle than usual

- breathed

- failed to breathe properly

- breathed in the wrong stuff. Allergy time

- looked too hard at something too far away

- knees

[theonion]

[taylornprice]

somewhere in angeles national forest

[teaboot]

Me: Hey, I'm so-and-so, just calling because my brother ate here, and he ordered the clams? And I just wanted to give you a heads up that he's got really, really bad food poisoning.

Worker: We order everything fresh from a reliable source.

Me: That's great, I just wanted to let you know just in case.

Worker: Well it couldn't have been us, we follow a very strict procedure.

Me: ....Okay, yeah, I'm not looking for compensation or anything. It could have been something else. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up in case, I don't know, something happened in transit, or someone has the flu or something.

Worker: They don't. We don't do that.

Me: ......

Me: Okay well like I said, I'm not calling to complain, we're just covering our bases. Thanks though.

Worker: Okay. Have a good one.

Me: You too

*click*

Me to my brother: They say it wasn't them

My brother, still hunched over on his porcelain throne five hours deep into solo level grinding a toilet+bucket X2 combo breaker marathon for the title of King Shits, Lord and Ruler of the Bon Bon Von Püpenshittën Empire: it's fine

[teaboot]

The Kingdom is in good hands

[janmisali]

do you think your response to this poll will be the less common one?

yes

no

Remaining time: 1 day 11 hours

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this is like the prisoner's dilemma of polls. the only way to get it right is if we ALL vote yes! and we trust each other to figure that out and vote yes! unfortunately, that will never happen

[goldenleopard34335]

hm? i voted no and I was right