raiden’s kojima sponsored hips

i'm archer and i AM the nonbinary bitch your friends told you about // the blog i follow back with :) // art and writing @tunastime

[medievaljournalist]

[mgs5]

cats will be like please i need you to watch me wiggle around on this carpet please hey look look please look at me i’m wiggling

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[makingtrouble]

This is getting notes so let me just say

Himb 💞💝💘💖💞💝

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[doctor-doodleman]

welsknight

[tall]

[thefleetingflashofa-sword623]

I keep hearing nearby footsteps but theyre not of humanoid gait so i pay them no mind cus all beasts are friendly towards me due to rapport ive built with various animal clans

[halondrus]

fuck with me

[deep-space-lines]

reminders for the morning

[deep-space-lines]

I'm ready for anything. Do not fuck with me

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

You guys need to see this because my brain has decided "have you heard of seventy dollars??" is a widely known meme I can reference regularly (it is not)

[eden-eden-eden-eden-eden]

Please please a strawberry for me please

[gilded-sterne]

my fucking knight just went awawa. what could this mean?

[moveslikekeithrichards]

its crazy how using your chosen name & pronouns feels so Not Allowed when youre used to having to use your legal name for everything. like all i do is go to work and go to doctors so writing an artist bio using my correct information is like, Is This Allowed?? Is This Allowed??? it straight up feels like being an unsupervised kid eating gummy worms for breakfast & waiting for someone to come tell you to knock it off

[fairycosmos]

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

[weirdplutoprince]

Attacking a stranger on artfight: I had a blast drawing your character. Your designs are super charming and fun. Have a good artfight! ☺️

Attacking your friends on artfight: I GET YOU I GET GIU I GET YOU AND THEN I KILL YOU 🔥🔥🔥🔥 KILL YOU 🌋🌋 YOU WILL NEVER WIN AGAINST ME. my fr iend 🫂

[etc-source4]

whenever i say “computer show me” im never talking to chat gpt im being him