ARFID Within Autism

[arfidy-things]

Tips for starting to overcome ARFID/SED

I had a message asking for advice on starting to overcome ARFID/SED and it got long, so here are my thoughts for anyone who might find them helpful. I should make it clear that these are entirely from personal experience and I do not always follow this advice myself, but it helps when I do.

Also different things work for different people so feel free to reblog with additions/subtractions/edits from your own experience. We're here to learn together.

Accept that if you want to truly overcome this, you have to remove it from your identity. With AFRID/SED, it’s often a lifelong thing - it’s inevitable that it’s become part of who you are. You can’t overcome it without changing that.

Stop caring what other people think.

If you don’t want a big deal to be made of your eating, don’t make it a big deal - if you comment on it first, you’re encouraging others to do so next time.

Try things that are only slightly different or with an extra ingredient and recognise that it’s progress.

Don’t expect to hate something - try it, let yourself figure out what you think instead of assuming it’s bad.

If you don’t gag or spit it out, and are able to swallow it, give it a chance - we don’t tend to love foods so tolerating those we can stomach is sometimes just as important.

Try things several times, it often gets nicer or at least more tolerable every time, if you could stomach it the first time.

This is hard to bring yourself to do, but take proper mouthfuls and don’t just taste with the tip of your tongue - you will get a false taste and a bad impression if you do.

I find it easier to try proper mouthfuls if I see someone I trust taking the same mouthful at the same time.

This is even harder but try not to think about/expect gagging - it’s hard not to think about something but once you do start thinking about it, it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

It’s undeniably difficult to “just do it” but trust me, it’s easier in the end if you do.

If you have texture/gagging issues, try squeezing your thumb while chewing/swallowing - it can help distract you. Fidgets or other similar tricks may also work.

On a “fussy eaters” program once the doctor said to chew several times before swallowing. Personally I find this makes me worry about gagging but the idea is it helps you learn the texture, so try it and see if it helps you.

I realised recently that unexpected textures put me off largely because of the sound they make in my head - I sometimes listen to loud music through in-ear headphones to help drown out the sound of my own eating.

[incognitopolls]

People with selective eating/food avoidance issues, how do you fill the gaps in your nutrition?

Vitamins/supplements

Nutrition bars

Juices/shakes

Sneak it into safe foods/heavily disguise it (e.g. blend veggies into the sauce)

I force myself to eat it

I just don’t eat them

Multiple of these

Other

I don’t have this type of food issue/show results

Voting ended onApr 8

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[homunculus-argument]

Fun fact: if someone tells you that they've got misophonia and that they can't stand a specific sound, and you start making that sound on purpose and won't stop doing it before they forcibly physically stop you from doing it, you were the one who escalated the situation to violence.

[food-fear]

i'd love to be able to cook one day. imagine having the power at your fingertips to make food that you like. and you get to decide everything. that's just so cool to me. imagine the freedom you could have to make safe foods and new foods and just do whatever you want? one day i'll be the kind of person who can cook

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of "picky eaters". no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don't like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they've said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to "trick" them into eating it anyway

[chaotic-queer-disaster]

#all this being said I’m still going to silently judge my picky eater friends for their weakness

cool, that wasn't necessary to add at all! Just a quick note that people who are picky enough to have a reputation of being a "picky eater" often have undiagnosed Sensory Processing Disorder and severely picky eaters often have Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. SPD is shit to live with (I'd know <3) & ARFID is literally an eating disorder. Even then, totally 100% neurotypical picky eaters are still not harming you in any way.

There is nothing wrong with being a picky eater. Not eating things that you dislike is not a weakness, it's a sensible personal boundary.

[manicorcishdreamgirl]

A hill i will die standing on is that picky eaters deserve respect and accommodation and to eat food they enjoy too. Sensory issues, disliked flavors, allergies, intolerances, cultural differences, religious restrictions, moral or political choices, they all deserve to be given consideration if you know you're gonna be cooking for them and to not be excluded from the fundamental right to food & access to the many important social bonding acitivities centered around food

[arfidy-things]

In addition, if someone tells you they’re are ok with not eating at the Social Event Based Around Eating Food, you have to be ok with that. Ask what you can do, yes, but be prepared to be told there’s nothing you can provide that will be ok.

The way my issues manifest - and I suspect this is true for a lot of people with ARFID - means that there often simply is not an answer that is ideal. “Best” case might be bringing my own snacks (which way too many people are weird about), but that can also be difficult for various reasons. Actual best case might be me (not you) making sure I can eat what I need before or after the event, and that’s when people get way too pushy trying to insist they can find something for you. Having someone trying to accommodate ARFID is often more stressful than just not eating at an event and you just want to be left alone.

[frigbob]

Guess who didn't eat all day bc their food got rained on and looked Slightly Different

[marisatomay]

What are you even supposed to eat for dinner

[marisatomay]

And it’s like. Like it’s everyday girls.

[yesornopolls]

Is there a food you don't like that is considered very popular?

Is there a food you don't like that is considered very popular?

Yes

No

Voting ended onJul 28, 2025

[incognitopolls]

You get to pick one food to have for every meal. You can pick something that you like/generally don't mind, and nobody is forcing you. You can mix it up for snacks, but your regular meals have to be this one food: the exact same thing for every meal, no variations.

How many days in a row do you think you could go with the SAME food for all meals?

0; I wouldn't be able to eat the same thing for every meal for even one day

1 day

2 days

3 days

4–5 days

6–10 days

11–20 days

21+ days, but not forever

I could do this forever

Voting ended onJul 19, 2025

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[tlirsgender]

Crazy thing about #healing #recovery Small Victories is when you'll have some shit going on that's like, saying this would involve admitting how you used to be doing. You know? Like hey guys good news I'm gonna change my bedsheets this year

[tlirsgender]

That's the thing about Doing Really Bad you kinda keep it to yourself. And then you start doing a little better & when you try to tell people this the vibe is like "what do you mean you were living in the sewer this whole time are you good?" while you're standing there like Yeah that's not the important part never mind that. I'm literally out of the sewer

[incognitopolls]

Content warning: discussion of eating disorders.

–

If you have ARFID, at what age were you diagnosed? (Or at what age did you figure it out?)

Age 6 or younger

7–10

11–14

15–18

19–22

23–26

27–30

31 or older

I don't remember

I don't have ARFID, show results

Voting ended onApr 23, 2025

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[incognitopolls]

Content warning: discussion of eating disorders

–

This poll is about how your parents handled your situation.

"Badly" in this context means reactions like punishing you or blaming you, and "positively" in this context means they supported you, actively sought treatment, were helpful, etc.

–

If you had ARFID as a child/teen, how did your parents react/handle it?

Badly; I was not diagnosed at the time

Badly; I was diagnosed as a child/teen

Neutrally; I was NOT diagnosed at the time

Neutrally; I was diagnosed at the time

Positively; I was NOT diagnosed at the time

Positive; I was diagnosed at the time

My parents didn't know/it's complicated/other

I did not have ARFID as a child/teen

Voting ended onApr 24, 2025

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[voluptuarian]

My 30-something wisdom is that your palette is constantly changing so don't assume because you hated a food 10 or 20 years ago you still will. Most radically, your taste as a little kid is not indicative of what it will be as an adult-- I've known too many adults who still refuse to eat anything but chicken strips and ketchup because they're still basing their taste on what they experienced at 8 years old and so have cut themselves off from the entire world of adult taste. In my case, my taste for savory foods, especially vegetable dishes, "bitter" foods, and more complex flavor combinations has really expanded. I didn't like mushrooms as a child or for most of my 20s, but around 28 suddenly they worked for me. I started enjoying dark chocolate around 25, especially paired with fruit flavors. I've never been hugely fond of eggplant but discovered that in a sauce or roasted in butter and oil its delicious. I've always enjoyed fish but in the last 15 years I've discovered a passion for it, salmon especially. I've learned to recognize the tastes of herbs and love putting them into everything I can (currently I'm most enthusiastic about dill.) I'm also suddenly crazy about all kinds of sandwiches. And I'm still trying olives every couple years in case suddenly they start working for me, though sadly no luck on that front yet. So basically, expect that your taste is going to change in adulthood and expect that it will keep changing. And you can also work to develop your palette by exposing yourself to new flavors and combinations and cuisines, opening you up to even more foods you might never have liked before. So keep trying new and old foods, because you never know when you might suddenly start liking something new or discover a new way it can be prepared or a new texture it can come in. Don't wind up imprisoned in a world of chicken strips just because you haven't tried anything else since 3rd grade, you deserve better.

[incognitopolls]

Content warning: discussion of eating disorders

–

Have you ever had an eating disorder?

Anorexia

Bulimia

Orthorexia

Pica

ARFID

Binge eating disorder

Rumination

Something else

Multiple of these

Disordered eating, but not a specific disorder

I'm not sure if my issue counts

No

Voting ended onDec 12, 2024

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[wyverewings]

Picky eaters 🤝 Sex repulsed people

“yOu wOn’T kNow uNtIl yoU tRy iT”

[heavyweightheart]

nobody genuinely wants an eating disorder, so when people say that they don’t want to recover, what i hear is that their lives involve too many things that require them to be smaller and numb in order to cope. to give up the ED is too emotionally or materially risky under those circumstances.

so often when recovery isn’t going well we blame ourselves; we feel that it’s a personal failure. we’d do much better to look at our circumstances and assess how supportive they are of recovery, or the ways in which they might be keeping us clinging to the disorder for emotional survival. 

sometimes we can’t change our circumstances, but a) sometimes we can, and b) we don’t necessarily need to change them in order for our insights about them to begin their healing work… that is, we can start to separate our selves from the disorder when we see how it functions for us, and why.

in the same way that EDs are shaped & perpetuated by our environments, so is recovery. how might you increase your exposure to environments where it’s safe to be more present & vulnerable? where you don’t have to shrink all that you are in order to cope?