my most boring headcanon is the vision i have for shane's first birthday with ilya. ilya was always the party planner on the bears, and that usually involved hitting several clubs and an exorbitant amount of money on bottle service. but that does not mean his boyfriend wants the same and he knows it.
they wake up at the cottage. for the first time ever ilya has managed to wake up earlier than shane. shane jokes if this is his gift, to which ilya is genuinely offended. obviously he got shane a real gift. that he will give to him later. anyway ilya took the time being awake early to make shane tea in bed, which steeps while shane goes and brushes his teeth and then is forgotten while ilya gives him very messy morning blowjob. obviously.
it stresses out shane when he doesn't know what his day looks like so ilya tells him, barring some small details for surprises. they have breakfast, and then they do a grueling two hour work out that shane loves dearly and ilya pretends to hate. and then they go on shane's favorite trail and ilya brings trail sandwiches that david packed and they eat lunch with a view and makeout.
they go to shane's parents cottage for approximately two hours and they all play board games and everyone is way too competitive. yuna and david give shane their gifts and then ilya very promptly whisks shane away before it can all get too much and too overwhelming.
when they get back to the cottage ilya tells shane that shane can't come downstairs for an hour and a half and gives him his first gift, which is the latest book which is a scathing tell all about the 2010 winter olympic team that is not out yet and ilya pulled strings to get the ARC for. and then ilya leaves him alone for an hour and a half to set up the rest of the night and shane takes a beautiful bath with his hockey gossip book.
ilya lays out an outfit on the bed for shane (ilya's most comfortable old pair of jeans he never lets shane permanently steal, a soft linen button up shane brought to tampa, shane's favorite costco tube socks) and shane comes down to a hastily cleaned kitchen because ilya is not perfect. and then he's led out to the deck where ilya has kind of haphazardly turned into a fancy restaurant vibe with a white tablecloth on the patio table and flowers he's picked from the late may wildflowers and an electric candle.
(if things were different, i would take you to fancy restaurant you like and blow money on best ginger beer or whatever to spoil you / you think this isn't spoiling me?)
somehow (probably lessons with david hollander while shane was getting his ass kicked at the playoffs) ilya has made a meal that looks like it'd be served at an l.a restaurant. grilled fish and lemon garlic broccolini and oyster mushrooms he knows ilya won't touch but are shane's favorite. it all feels painfully indulgent but ilya insists he looked at shane's stupid diet plan and this basically fits (basically? / it is off season. you can have little bit of butter) but the real star of the show is the mango sticky rice, lord only knows where ilya got fresh mango from this time of year.
it is of course at this moment that shane starts to cry because while he's had birthdays where he knows he's loved, birthdays with his parents and hayden and his team where they shower him with praise and awkward speeches and gifts he has no use for, he's never had a birthday where he's felt so noticed.
ilya just tells him that he's very obvious. other people are stupid not to notice. most beautiful man in the world wants to spend his birthday working out and reading hockey gossip books and just enough time with his parents to not feel guilty. and obviously soon being fucked through three orgasms in his bed while ilya wears lingerie. second gift, obviously. no it is definitely gift for you.