Today's Document
Janaina Medeiros
roma★
Origami Around
Discoholic 🪩
blake kathryn
if i look back, i am lost
Not today Justin
todays bird
YOU ARE THE REASON
cherry valley forever
Monterey Bay Aquarium
occasionally subtle
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
PR's Tumblrdome
Keni
ellievsbear
noise dept.
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from Türkiye
seen from Iraq
seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from United States
@arivinah
Harris posts a compilation of shane's 'ohhh you piss me off', whacking ilya with his stick during practice, 'no NO', his Angry Pout ™️, 'ilya so HELP me', glaring from the bench, n ofc the ever present 'fuck off rozanov'. at the end is another compilation of the camera panning to Ilya's reaction to every one with the most endearing ily eyes. its captioned nobody save him. hes right where he wants to be. the hollanov shippers send that shit triple platinum in a day.
Opera plot: Local Noble realizes that his affections for Pretty Village Girl have a rival in the form of Honest Laborer. Having read enough romances to know that a girl asked to choose between a rich man and a poor man will always pick the poor man, whereas in a love triangle between two rich men it's anyone's game, he decides that his chief object must be to elevate his rival's wealth and status as quickly as possible. What the Compte de Genre-Savie over here forgot to account for, however, was the overwhelming power of the Pygmalion Effect, and now he has to deal with watching two people he's in love with develop ever-stronger feelings for each other. Eventually all of this resolves via...I don't know.
#first of all: ''comte de genre-savie'' is PERFECT. just great. absolutely no notes.#I would love an opera with this exact plot. bonus points if the comte is genuinely genre savvy#he keeps bringing up opera tropes only for the other characters to look at him like he's insane.#the score is diagetic to him; when he points out reoccurring themes or transitions to minor keys#the other characters ask him what the hell he's talking about. the whole chorus gets together to sing about how#comte de genre-savie is going mad. the comte tries to sneak away and keeps getting pulled back in.#I wonder if you could even push it further - have it so that only the comte can speak or 'hear' spoken words;#all other characters communicate in recitativo secco or formally composed songs#then you can have scenes where the comte is speaking but the other character in the scene can't hear him.#this can be played for laughs (the comte tries to order something from a shopkeeper; the shopkeeper walks away as he's talking)#and for dramatic effect (the Honest Laborer is singing a heartfelt duet with the Pretty Village Girl#and neither of them can hear the comte saying 'I love you' in between their lines)#........I am into this actually. I had to convince myself that this wasn't just cyrano de bergerac but no. it isn't. I'm into it.#upon the stage (via @notbecauseofvictories)
I read this one story once, no idea what it was called, where there was a girl in love with a poor man who also had a rich suitor. Her father was rich in his own right, and didn't have access to the men's finances but wanted his daughter to marry as rich as possible.
She pointed out to him that it's not always easy to tell how rich people are on a limited timescale; some wealthy people live frugally by choice, and a poor man can borrow a great deal of money to impress a girl's family if he feels like he's being investigated for such a thing. Tracking down their friends and interrogating their social circles would be a faux pas and very time consuming. The best way to tell, she suggested, would be to give both men a massive gift of money and see what changes it made to their lifestyle. Someone who already has lots of money will probably not think that much of the gift and not change much, whereas to a poor man (even one borrowing money to look temporarily better off) it would make a huge difference and the increased standard of living would be clear. That way, he gets a good idea of how wealthy the two suitors are and instead of looking nosy and money-obsessed, he looks incredibly kind and generous.
The father praised this ingenious strategy and gifted both men a huge sum of money. The daughter eloped with her true love the next day, now that they had enough money to start a new life together somewhere else.
Are lace-makers ever struck by the realisation that all the holes were already there before they started?
Fanciest lace I've ever made, just need to fill in the edges.
Due to the craftsmanship shown in this picture, the emperor has requested that you make all of his clothes out of that exact lace.
I dreamt that there was a new meme that went, “If I dids it, I dids it. If I didsn’t, I didsn’t.” There was a third line, but I forgot what it was.
happy to report i’m back on my bullshit
and a rare variant
HOW DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE CAT MEMES IN MY DREAM
>:3€
THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE MEME FROM MY DREAM
World Heritage Post
GUYS PIRATING IS BAD.
DO NOT PIRATE ANYTHING. NOT SHOWS/MOVIES. NOT GAMES OR SAFER GAMES. AND CERTAINLY NOT BOOKS. AND DO NOT DOWNLOAD YOUTUBE VIDEOS. AND NEVER EVER EVER WATCH MUSICALS WITHOUT GOING TO THEM AND DONT USE ADBLOCKERS/OTHER ADBLOCKER TO AVOID ADS AND VIRUSES PIRATING IS VERY HARMFUL TO THE CORPORATIONS WHO WORKS VERY HARD TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE AND THEIR MONEY. ANYONE WHO PIRATES IS BAD. BAD PIRATING. EVIL. OH AND THIS
this is the type of shit they'd put on containers of grape concentrate during prohibition
things to say after fucking up egregiously
pack it up boys we've made a social blunder
let's run that again
one more time normal style
I'm going to become a statistic
further proof god is out to get me
it's because I tore my acl senior year
I couldn't do it for religious reasons
my ex took my talent in the divorce
good thing nobody saw that (said directly to someone who definitely saw it)
this is the hsr mc
Hey.
Yeah you- the person reading this. Stop scrolling for a second.
You’re going to be okay. You have to believe that. It might take a long time and who knows how much work, but you’re going to be okay.
You’re going to be okay.
You’re going to be okay.
"sir this is a wendy's" = "I have no idea why you're here for that but this is possibly the LEAST relevant place for you to be right now"
"ma'am this is a map store" = "this is an even more relevant place for you to be than you know yet"
The three types of kink are
* you have power
* you're safe
* feet
this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):
You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.
You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.
Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.
"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).
oh no, animal ears are feet
yeah. cat ears are feet!
can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue
oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it
the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.
the number of people tagging this "calvin & hobbes" and "rule 34" is worrying.
although amusing, if you know where the term "rule 34" came from.
although amusing,
if you know where the term “rule
34” came from.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
oh god dammit
does anybody have a picture of all the different dress forms perfectly sized to the old hollywood actresses that used to be in paramount, or warner brothers, or I don't remember where's costume department? like I have seen this picture a THOUSAND times, I can picture it in my head, I think Bette Davis may be in it staring at the Bette Davis dress form. I need it for a presentation tomorrow and Google has forgotten what dress and form and old hollywood mean
> looking at a new popular collectible
> ask the people if it's objects or gambling
> they don't understand
> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is objects and what is gambling
> they laugh and say "it's a good collectible sir"
> look up how to buy a collectible
> its gambling
> #wait are labubu's blind bags?!
Labubus are blind bags but they're also blind bags with some of the most insane dark patterns stacked on top. The online store for them has a thing where they tell you what you got the second you order it online so that you can immediately try again if you didn't get the thing you wanted.
There's also a shake feature that is designed to encourage you to buy more than one by narrowing down the possibility space on a crate of options so that if you're hunting a specific model you can verify that it's guaranteed to be in one of these three IF you buy all three right now!!!!!
You can read more about what dark patterns are and how to spot them here.
The original website about deceptive patterns (also known as “dark patterns”) - tricks used in websites and apps that make you do things tha
That is a fucking awesome site everyone should visit. Don't skip the Hall of Shame.
I just thought of this post, which was actually how I learned what Dark Patterns are, because I tried to cancel my Adobe Acrobat subscription, and it took much longer than I anticipated because several times throughout the process it felt like it was intentionally trying to trick me into thinking I'd cancelled my subscription when I actually hadn't yet.
Please read up on Dark Patterns and learn how to recognize them.
STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:
transition
bdsm
iron supplements
sleep study
ADHD medication
DBT
vitamin D
go outside for an hour and observe birds
eat a snack
drink water
Maybe do these in reverse order
Don't listen to them! Transgender BDSM now!!!!
my most boring headcanon is the vision i have for shane's first birthday with ilya. ilya was always the party planner on the bears, and that usually involved hitting several clubs and an exorbitant amount of money on bottle service. but that does not mean his boyfriend wants the same and he knows it.
they wake up at the cottage. for the first time ever ilya has managed to wake up earlier than shane. shane jokes if this is his gift, to which ilya is genuinely offended. obviously he got shane a real gift. that he will give to him later. anyway ilya took the time being awake early to make shane tea in bed, which steeps while shane goes and brushes his teeth and then is forgotten while ilya gives him very messy morning blowjob. obviously.
it stresses out shane when he doesn't know what his day looks like so ilya tells him, barring some small details for surprises. they have breakfast, and then they do a grueling two hour work out that shane loves dearly and ilya pretends to hate. and then they go on shane's favorite trail and ilya brings trail sandwiches that david packed and they eat lunch with a view and makeout.
they go to shane's parents cottage for approximately two hours and they all play board games and everyone is way too competitive. yuna and david give shane their gifts and then ilya very promptly whisks shane away before it can all get too much and too overwhelming.
when they get back to the cottage ilya tells shane that shane can't come downstairs for an hour and a half and gives him his first gift, which is the latest book which is a scathing tell all about the 2010 winter olympic team that is not out yet and ilya pulled strings to get the ARC for. and then ilya leaves him alone for an hour and a half to set up the rest of the night and shane takes a beautiful bath with his hockey gossip book.
ilya lays out an outfit on the bed for shane (ilya's most comfortable old pair of jeans he never lets shane permanently steal, a soft linen button up shane brought to tampa, shane's favorite costco tube socks) and shane comes down to a hastily cleaned kitchen because ilya is not perfect. and then he's led out to the deck where ilya has kind of haphazardly turned into a fancy restaurant vibe with a white tablecloth on the patio table and flowers he's picked from the late may wildflowers and an electric candle.
(if things were different, i would take you to fancy restaurant you like and blow money on best ginger beer or whatever to spoil you / you think this isn't spoiling me?)
somehow (probably lessons with david hollander while shane was getting his ass kicked at the playoffs) ilya has made a meal that looks like it'd be served at an l.a restaurant. grilled fish and lemon garlic broccolini and oyster mushrooms he knows ilya won't touch but are shane's favorite. it all feels painfully indulgent but ilya insists he looked at shane's stupid diet plan and this basically fits (basically? / it is off season. you can have little bit of butter) but the real star of the show is the mango sticky rice, lord only knows where ilya got fresh mango from this time of year.
it is of course at this moment that shane starts to cry because while he's had birthdays where he knows he's loved, birthdays with his parents and hayden and his team where they shower him with praise and awkward speeches and gifts he has no use for, he's never had a birthday where he's felt so noticed.
ilya just tells him that he's very obvious. other people are stupid not to notice. most beautiful man in the world wants to spend his birthday working out and reading hockey gossip books and just enough time with his parents to not feel guilty. and obviously soon being fucked through three orgasms in his bed while ilya wears lingerie. second gift, obviously. no it is definitely gift for you.
You people are normal right. If I learn how to be a person from you it would be fine right
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