A few years ago I went grocery shopping on Christmas Eve because I…frankly, because I forgot it was Christmas Eve. I’m sure a few people got a good laugh when it hit me mid-shop why it was so fucking crowded.
Anyway I went through self-checkout and halfway through my order it imploded.
Someone came over to help me with it and kept apologizing and after realizing this was not going to be as simple as them swiping a card and tapping a number, I said “would it make your life easier tonight if I just did the rest of my order through a regular checkout?” and the attendant said yes AND STARTED CRYING.
I want you, if you have never worked retail, to ask yourself what it would take to push you to the point that a friendly, neutral-value question would make you burst into tears. Imagine it, really think about it. And then realize retail and food service workers go through so much abuse THEIR LIMIT IS PROBABLY HIGHER THAN YOURS. Because they’re used to it.
Be kind. Ask a harried cashier if they need a minute to grab a drink of water. Offer them a smile. If the machine goes down, make it clear you know it’s not their fault. Nothing about your transaction will matter an hour from now—treat it that way. Let them breathe.
(Also, speaking as a veteran of the food service trenches, you know what made me feel A LOT better when I had an asshole customer? Another customer acknowledging that the first customer was an asshole. A simple “wow, who pissed in THEIR Cheerios this morning?” was enough to let me take a breath and relax and let it roll off more easily.)